Wednesday 4 March 2009

Musicals and the Gay Gene


March 18, 2003

Arguments about whether there's a "gay gene" have roiled scholars for years. But as Oscar night approaches, I'm going out on a limb to declare that while we may never stop arguing about that, we can be sure of one thing: There's a Broadway musical gene, and gay men have it. Solid proof is on movie screens all over America.

Chicago, the most sizzling movie musical since Cabaret, is single-handedly reviving what was until recently considered a moribund art form. And no surprise to me, it was created in almost every sense by gays: namely, its writer, producers, and brilliant director. Pure coincidence? Puhl-e-e-eze. Chicago is just the latest bit of scientific evidence that while the homosexual hypothalamus may not necessarily determine sexual orientation, it sure knows how to tap its toes.

It's funny about gay men and musicals. Sure, the theater queen stereotype may be a bit overblown. But when you count up the sheer number of Cole Porters and Michael Bennetts, Stephen Sondheims and Noel Cowards, Jerome Robbinses, Jerry Hermans, Leonard Bernsteins, and Tommy Tunes, you have to admit that a velvet mafia has always had Broadway in its pocket.

And what's true onstage is just as true out there in the audience. Starting in junior high, boys blessed with the Broadway gene reflexively shun the gridiron to embrace Gypsy. And what happens? They're almost automatically pegged as gays-in-training. (I know--I was one.)

As we grow older, the gene manifests itself in strange and eerie ways. For decades phrases like "friend of Dorothy" were pillars of the secret code of the closet. Today's repository of this genetic lore isn't so much the Broadway stage as the big city piano bar--as gay an institution as the leather bar. There you'll find theater queens, driven by an impulse Freud never addressed, sitting around singing obscure songs from shows that closed out of town--and somehow knowing every word!

So Foucaultians can whistle against the wind. Homosexuality and hoofing go together like ... well, like song and dance.

Need more proof? Consider this. For the past couple of decades the musical was considered a dying art form. Rock overthrew Broadway show tunes as America's most popular music, and audiences supposedly didn't buy actors spontaneously bursting into song. Maybe. But it's just as possible that musicals declined because the vital gay link had been damaged.

AIDS swept away many of Broadway's leading gay lights, like Michael Bennett--people we needed to keep the genre going. And gay lib itself may have thrown a wrench into the genetic works. After all, an intense biological attraction to Ethel Merman and clever lyrics used to create the kind of bond for gays that sports do for many straights. Once we were liberated, our genes went all wooky, confused by a culture that produced disco, the gym, and the circuit. Cut off from what we knew best, gay men were cast adrift.

But biology is destiny, and the sudden success of a movie musical put together by a top gay team has profound clinical implications. The fact that writer Bill Condon, producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, and director Rob Marshall were able to cook up such a stunning reinvention validates musical essentialism and refutes any constructionist blather that they just "happen" to be gay.

After all, Chicago's gay creators report that they didn't fall in love with musicals because of gay culture or gay oppression, and they certainly weren't "recruited." They "always knew" they loved musicals. Rob Marshall reports that he "knew" when he was 4; Craig Zadan when he was 8. Sound familiar?

This, people, is the mysterious gay musical gene at work. Its fruits are now up on the screen to razzle-dazzle the clueless masses.

So on Oscar night I'll tip my hat to other gay-related films, like The Hours. But I'll be rooting for Chicago. Not just for what it is but what it represents. As Tevye says in Fiddler: Tradition! In this case, a major gay biological tradition, battered and bruised but still all-singing, all-dancing, and all-dreaming, despite changing tastes and the circuit and all that jazz.

Source: The Advocate, article by Gabriel Rotello

1,129 comments:

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Anonymous said...

You're like a scientologist - you're setting up tests and questions that Ted never agreed to, and now you're "pissed" because he's not following your rules.

^^^ hummm, also sounds like an upset fanboy pissed with Jake because he did not come out with the spread in a national magazine with boyfriend and new baby. Kind of the same type of thought pattern I would say.

Anonymous said...

There is nothing honorable about threatening to out someone which is what Ted has done.

11:03, by your own words,Jake should be outed since his bearding is a manifestation of homophobia.

When you make a threat and don't follow through, it just makes you look like a punk.

Ted is also the one you just wrote how Jake and Reese were on a campaign to become the next top power couple in Hollywood.

Then we get the biking pictures which sort of make his statements look either suspicious or foolish.

So, yes, I would have expected a comment from him on them, either to point to as proof of his previous assertions the the guys are still together or explain how this fits in or contradicts Reeke's plan for power in Hollywood.

Anonymous said...

9:48, What could Ted be afraid of? How many sites have already posted those pictures at this point?

Ted's comment is the point, not pictures.

Anonymous said...

Ted is also the one you just wrote how Jake and Reese were on a campaign to become the next top power couple in Hollywood.

That was sarcasm.

Anonymous said...

11:40. totally agree, I don't think anyone would believe (including Reese and Jake themselves) that Reeke were on their way to being the next power couple in HW. Think that crown is going to belong to Brad and Angelina for some time to come.

Anonymous said...

If everyone including Jake and Reese know that Reeke are not going to become the next power couple, than what was the point of that wasted type from Ted.

Why waste time stating the obvious?


And Ted did threaten Jake. People on this board have short and convienent memories.

Anonymous said...

"And Ted did threaten Jake."

How did Ted "threaten" Jake? Speaking the truth (someone is gay and you know it) is not threatening. It is simply not agreeing to go along with EVERYONE ELSE'S LIES.

Anonymous said...

11:54.. it was probably a slow news day and they just made some rubbish up, wouldn't be the first time thing like that happen. Maybe Reese and Jake do think they are going to be the next power couple and are busy telling all their chums that, doesn't seem very likely though does it.

Anonymous said...

Why waste time stating the obvious?

To make a bit of fun of Reeke.

Anonymous said...

I know its been posted before but

spot the power couple

Anonymous said...

Gyllenhaal As Prince Of Persia
In your face, Conan

Poli-blogi-whatnot The Huffington Post has laid its influential mittens on two new pics from Disney's sandstorms-and-sandals epic Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time, showing a buff Jake Gyllenhaal looking suitably sultry (and more than a little confused, truth be told) as the titular prince.

As Prince Dastan, Gyllenhaal will be charged with the onorous task of saving the 6th Century from a dastardly nobleman with designs on the all-powerful Sands of Time, a device that can reverse time and yield supreme power to its holder. Dastan is also charged with the marginally less onorous job of hanging out with Gemma Arterton's Princess Tamina, who will aid him in his quest.

Empire

Anonymous said...

Posted on OMG by Special K

Jen and Jake hair

Anonymous said...

The guy who usually dubs Sean Penn's voice for all of his movies in Brazil refused to do the voice in Milk. "I did not feel comfortable with the job," he said. Is it because Harvey Milk is gay and you're a pastor? [Variety]

Anonymous said...

"I've had enough of women." — Colin Farrell. [Daily Express]

Anonymous said...

DiCaprio heads up celebrity cycling jaunt

NEW YORK, March 8 (UPI) -- U.S. actor Leonardo DiCaprio and three of his celebrity friends took time to go on an "un-cool" bike ride through New York, a witness says.

An unidentified witness said the "Titanic" star was joined in his bicycle jaunt across New York's East Village neighborhood by fellow actors Lukas Haas, Tobey Maguire and Kevin Dillon, the New York Post reported Sunday.

"It was surreal," the witness said of the stars' bicycle journey Friday. "They were laughing with each other, checking out the girls and having a good time -- but their mode of transport was really un-cool."

The Post said despite the acting quartet's reputation for womanizing and wild times, the actors' bicycles were all equipped with safety equipment such as reflectors and warning bells. Maguire reportedly wore a helmet.

Anonymous said...

They were laughing with each other, checking out the girls...

LOL!

Anonymous said...

^ ^ ^
what a bunch of idiots. I think celebs become some kind of monsters.

if I didnt think papa G was such a douchbag, himself, I'd take his "oh my son where are you, doing your high wire act" - seriously.

oh Jake go join a convent, or something, for awhile.

Anonymous said...

what a bunch of idiots. I think celebs become some kind of monsters.

huh? Why?

Anonymous said...

Dwayne Johnson Certainly Fills Out That Top Nicely

It was no Dreamgirls sketch [Jake], but Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson certainly gayed it up for his Saturday Night Live monologue.

"The Rock" gayed it up

Anonymous said...

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson Certainly Fills Out That Top Nicely

After Elton comment:

I saw an interview with him last week where he was lamenting his single status. The interviewer pitched in with "Ladies, you heard it here" and Dwayne stopped her and said not to leave out the guys. Interviewer looked kind of confused but went along with it anyway. Needless to say, I fell in love all over again.

Anonymous said...

I always did like him. ;)

Anonymous said...

Jake’s Secure Sexuality Poll: The Results!

You guys simply must have big-chinned, dreamy-eyed babies on the brain. Your dedication to keep Gyllenspoon alive showed in our poll results, since your fave way for Jakey-poo to show the world he's secure in his sexuality was to walk his Wither-hon down the aisle—in a ceremony planned by himself, no less!

Is it too late to add choice E: bike ride with his best male bud for all to gawk at? That certainly takes more guts than saying I do to your conveniently arranged arm candy, doncha think?

The Awful Truth

Anonymous said...

Not fair, Dwayne's SNL video isn't available for my location :(

Anonymous said...

Is it too late to add choice E: bike ride with his best male bud for all to gawk at?

Oh great, Jake only bike picture!

Anonymous said...

Oh Ted!

Anonymous said...

Ted is saying that Jake is "secure" in his sexuality that he can ride his bike for all to see with his best bud/rumored BF and that Ted should have added that to the list along with marriage. Like Leo hanging with Lucas.

And again the solo pic of Jake and he links to Popsugar of all places, lame.

And he linked to his post about them trying to be the next HW power couple, if he was being sarcastic why does he keep pushing it?

Anonymous said...

Reeke link - that's Ted's last Reeke post, that's all.

Anonymous said...

And again the solo pic of Jake and he links to Popsugar of all places, lame.

I'm sure Ted can use only pictures E! paid for, so I presume that's the reason for using old E! solo pic of Jake.

Anonymous said...

bike ride with his best male bud for all to gawk at? That certainly takes more guts than saying I do to your conveniently arranged arm candy, doncha think?

This say it all.

Anonymous said...

Then why didn't he at least mention Austin's name? Best male bud? Not only did Popsugar post ALL pics they at least named him as did J. Jared, the 2 biggest PR whore blogs on the net. And yet TMZ, Ent Lawyer (solo) pics and DListed (linked thto again Popsugar). Very odd.

According to Ted Jake, took it a step further in "securing" his sexuality by cycling, braver than popping the question to Reese, I bet he didn't expect that, more reason for me to believe no more so that it was a photo op.

Anonymous said...

If Ted knew about the photo op, he would have added E as a way that Jake could prove that he was secure, hanging with Austin or any male which he hasn't been doing for a while.

Anonymous said...

he links to Popsugar of all places

That's E! business - Popsugar has permanent links to The Awful Truth and Marc Malkin.

Anonymous said...

Still doesn't explain why Ted chose not to mention Autin by name. Linking is lame, and to think about it , he did the same thing as People: posting the same solo shot and mention a friend.

So what if E has a permanent link to Popsugar.

Anyway, I say that Ted was taken aback , he pulled a Leo/Lucas although Leo is more bolder, hanging with Lucas all the time.

I always wondered with all the chatter about Leo and Lucas, Ted is always pushing Bar and Leo and ignoring it, hmmmmm.

Anonymous said...

So what if E has a permanent link to Popsugar.

Ted works for E! = has to follow E! business rules.

Anonymous said...

he did the same thing as People: posting the same solo shot and mention a friend

Not just a friend, 'his best male bud'.

Anonymous said...

HA! Ted is a pussy, stop trying to explain him away. He took marching orders from the E suits, he is no better than People magazine.

At least PR whore blogs like Popsugar and Jared not only posted ALL pics, they mentioned his name more proof that it was a photo op and a fuck you to Ted and all the rest for implying that he was too scared of the rumors to be seen with him or any male friends. That may have been true for a long while but he has proven them wrong.

Just another phase in the Reeke PR game.

Anonymous said...

Just another phase in the Reeke PR game.

ITA

Anonymous said...

And he linked to his post about them trying to be the next HW power couple, if he was being sarcastic why does he keep pushing it?

But he IS being his usual snarky self!
The whole tone is mocking and ironic.
I don't get what you don't get about Ted's latest. He's not backed off in the slightest from saying Jake is bearding.

Anonymous said...

HA! Ted is a pussy, stop trying to explain him away.

Who else except Ted has been pushing Toothy/Jake for 4 years.
Nobody, that's who!
I don't know what else you want.

Anonymous said...

And yet TMZ, Ent Lawyer (solo) pics and DListed (linked thto again Popsugar). Very odd.

TMZ works for Reeke PR.

Anonymous said...

I hate the closet. I am open and not closeted. I work in the film business. I might gossip, but I would still never out someone without their permission unless they're behaving homophobically.

Do you consider bearding behaving homophobically?

Anonymous said...

I'm with 3:27.. i can't believe that some people can't get that Ted is being mocking and ironic. Actually i think most people do but its the usual troll trying to start a fight ... if not.. duh folks, try not to be so literal.

Anonymous said...

Clang clang went the trolley....

Anonymous said...

I just read Ted's column.

This is lame. Even Perez had the guts to put the word "friend" in parantheses. "Best male bud" doesn't mean anything; Ted once used the same phraseology to describe Heath.

Popsugar could name Austin, and Ted couldn't??? The reference to the arrangement with Reese is week. Jennifer Aniston has an arrange relationship with John Mayer, doesn't make her gay. There are lots of arrange relationship in Hollywood. To most of America, Ted's reference won't mean much.

And he does nothing to indicate that Austin is more than a friend??

I think 2:55 and 3:22 got it.

Jake's pr has made Ted look foolish and as if he has no idea what is going on with Jake.

I think Ted got caught out, and some of you need to take the blinders off. You can call out Jake and Reese, but Ted gets a pass.

I don't think so.

Of course, another possiblity could be that Austin is actually not the boyfriend after all.

Anonymous said...

Reese is in Berlin at M&A premiere. Trying to look pregnant!

Anonymous said...

Oh this is priceless . A fan in Berlin writes in blog:

Today were Kiefer Sutherland and Reese Witherspoon in Berlin presenting the Monster vs. Alien Premiere.

So my mom and me were at the Colosseum, two subway stations away from home for watching.

We saw Reese just winking in the car, but Kiefer gave a lot of autographs.


Reese goes all out for her fans doesn't she?

Anonymous said...

Reese is not trying to look pregnant, she's not so stupid that she's going to promote a movie for children with pregnancy rumors.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Bad dress, bad legs.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

wave to the Ted is "foolish" troll @5:04

Anonymous said...

I hope Jake isn't there or on his way, meeting her for the Egypt trip. :(

Anonymous said...

Egypt trip is fiction made up by that travel agency.

Anonymous said...

check out the latest blind item on crazy days and nights. It has to be the crazy Jake / Reese / Austin triangle.

its jake for sure

Anonymous said...

^^^
Monday, March 09, 2009
Today's Blind Items

Uh oh. It's decision time. What will our A-/B+ movie actor do? Will he choose the barely a celebrity friend or will he choose his A list actress friend? While the barely a celebrity celebrity friend doesn't mind sharing, it seems that our A list actress does. She doesn't want the bad publicity that the barely a celebrity friend brings and have it damage her A list career or squeaky clean image. Oh, and she especially doesn't want to have to answer questions or be ridiculed if certain pictures ever see the light of day.

Posted by ent lawyer at 2:10 PM

Anonymous said...

she especially doesn't want to have to answer questions or be ridiculed if certain pictures ever see the light of day

What pictures, don't just stop now? lol

Anonymous said...

Wow!

Anonymous said...

This sounds like it could be Reese/Jake/Austin. But what is puzzling is the the bearding has been going on for almost two years. So why would Jake be making a choice now, especially since Austin is okay with the bearding.

Jake and Austin have been together for all of this time as well, so why would Reese be concerned now?

Also, I don't understand the reference to a squeaky clean image. The gay rumors wouldn't necessarily impact that unless this is a reference to the friend and the boyfriend engaging in some dodgy sexual activities.

And how would this site know about pictures?

Anonymous said...

So Austin is okay with the bearding.

He's as pathetic as Jake. What a doormat.

Anonymous said...

Jake and Austin have been together for all of this time as well, so why would Reese be concerned now?
Because Jake doesn't want to hide all the time anymore?

Also, I don't understand the reference to a squeaky clean image.
"She doesn't want the bad publicity that the barely a celebrity friend brings" = more Jake is gay rumors = more Reese is beard rumors.

Anonymous said...

Ent. Lawyer is full of shit. If this is about them, then he just made it up after seeing te biking pics, he added the pics as an extra.

If they are bearding then she has known about them since day one, why worry now?

Anonymous said...

And how would this site know about pictures?

Ent Lawyer bought them because he's pissed off with Jake! lol

Anonymous said...

austin a doormat??? that debatable, he's an intelligent man man probably understands the politics of bearding but has decided that enough is enough, also as he's probably got access to jake's credit cards and the money that the disney deal brings. Not that its all down to money, but its going to soften the blow.

Oh and he also gets to sleep with jake which is probably more than sad sack Reese does, and is definately more than any of us will ever do.

Anonymous said...

If they are bearding then she has known about them since day one, why worry now?

Of course they are bearding.
Why worry now - because Jake doesn't want to hide all the time anymore?

Anonymous said...

I still believe the bike pics were a photo op. I don't believe for one minute that Reese hasn't known about Austin.

Austin is not an issue for her. He is easily controlled, and Jake knows what is required of him.

They can easily shove Austin back in the closet again if they think his public presense is becoming an issue, and Reeke will continue on as if he doesn't exist.

Anonymous said...

So how come All-Knowing-Ted didn't know about this, eh?

Anonymous said...

Who ever said Ted knows EVERYTHING about Jake?

Anonymous said...

"I still believe the bike pics were a photo op. I don't believe for one minute that Reese hasn't known about Austin."

ITA

Like Ted said it's tactic to show Jake is secure enought to be seen with his male bud!!

As for Reese dress, it look like she really does it on purpose!!!

Anonymous said...

Who ever said Ted knows EVERYTHING about Jake?

Dude, this is a BIG DEAL. He, the founder of TT, should know about this.

Anonymous said...

"So how come All-Knowing-Ted didn't know about this, eh?"

Ted knows he will choose Reese.

Anonymous said...

Nah, Jake will never choose Reese.

Anonymous said...

He, the founder of TT, should know about this.

LOL
TT isn't an institution, TT is a person.

Anonymous said...

6:51 PM Yes, he will. $$$$$$$ over Austin whatshisface anyday.

Anonymous said...

Jake has already chose Reese, she walked into this eyes wide open. She knows everything, no biking picture no new BI, which is BS.

Ent lawyer is full of crap.

Anonymous said...

of course Reese knows and whoever things otherwise is pretty fucking stupid.

Anonymous said...

^ thinks

Anonymous said...

Their is no reason for Reese to be concerned about Austin, I am sure he and her people can squash him if they want to.

Jake has a contract with Disney. He cannot afford to mess up. He can be destroyed.

So Austin has allowed himself to treated like a filthy secret for money? So, does that make him a doormat or a whore?

And Yeah, Ted should have known about this.

So this blind item may not be about Reeke or maybe Ted doesn't really know what's going on, and he's just putting spins on what he sees like everyone else.

Anonymous said...

And Yeah, Ted should have known about this.

About what exactly?

Anonymous said...

"$$$$$$$ over Austin whatshisface anyday."

what a sad day that will be and what a waste of lives for Jake and Reese.

I've no doubt that although broken hearted for some time, Austin would get over it and go on to find someone else who would truly appreciate him and all the wonderful things he has to offer.

Jake and Reese would be stuck in a loveless marriage of convenience, selling their privacy for a few cinema tickets. The money and fame must be nice but surely everything has a price.

Anonymous said...

Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

This actor has long been a target of speculation about his sexuality. Although he’s had several girlfriends, everyone is generally convinced he is G-A-Y! We have some information that makes us sure that he isn’t. He is indeed very straight. But perhaps his girlfriend should be less concerned about being in public to make him appear straight and pay better attention to his phone bills and who he’s calling for a little kinky conversation. He’s not calling men, if that’s what you’re thinking. (BuzzFoto)


Ja-Ja-Ja-Jakey? I almost couldn't write it. You know Reese's pr whores wrote that shit!

Dlisted

Anonymous said...

7:10 I saw that one as well. It like, someone can't possibly be gay and in a happy and long term relationship but its okay for someone to be a total perv and someone who users dodgy chat lines. Twisted logic eh.

Anonymous said...

Ja-Ja-Ja-Jakey? I almost couldn't write it. You know Reese's pr whores wrote that shit!

LOL, Michael K just wanted an excuse to post hot Jake picture. And tell us about Jake's bearding .

Anonymous said...

I've been rich and I’ve been poor -- and believe me, rich is better.
Sophie Tucker
US (Russian-born) vaudeville singer (1884 - 1966)

Anonymous said...

Jake with Austin would hardly be poor though. Jake must be making a fair amount of money and let's be honest Austin ain't no poor boy is he (doctor father, water skiing mother, family hunting ranch, USC, aka the university of spoiled children).

Anonymous said...

7:42 PM,

Jake is already rich.

Anonymous said...

I must have missed something? Why is there going to be a showdown or choosing? I hope it's Austin if there is. Cute dress on Reese tho. Love the color and design.

Anonymous said...

I don't think the Ent Lawyer BI ia about Reeke/Austin. Reese has always known about Austin, and Austin is no threat.

Jake chose money and career over Austin when he chose to beard.

Austin is irrelevant. He has chosen to be treated as no better than a sexual convience and deserves to be disregarded.

Anonymous said...

I don't think the Ent Lawyer BI ia about Reeke/Austin. Reese has always known about Austin, and Austin is no threat.

Of course she did, but Austin is back in public.

Anonymous said...

"She doesn't want the bad publicity that the barely a celebrity friend brings and have it damage her A list career or squeaky clean image. Oh, and she especially doesn't want to have to answer questions or be ridiculed if certain pictures ever see the light of day." (Ent Lawyer)

Funny how Reese wasn't seen in public right before and after the pics of Jake and Austin got out.

Anonymous said...

Austin is back in public and with almost total public approval and comments such as Jake should marry Austin not Reese. okay, I know the Reese will have better things to do that trawl through comments on web sites but that sort of reaction is going to have some impact on you isn't it. Its all beginning to look like poor old princess Di, there were 3 in the marriage which is abit crowded. Poor old Austin gets to play Camilla is this little scenario but as he'll end up with the prince I'm sure he won't mind.

Anonymous said...

Jake was whining about needing money on the set of Brothers to his visiting ACLU slashers.

Who knows how the PoP money is doled out and when. Anybody know?

There's something about the rich. They have more money.

Anonymous said...

I hope so! I'm happy to see this change, but I wonder what has caused it? Is Jake/Austin just plain fed up?

Anonymous said...

This is lame. Even Perez had the guts to put the word "friend" in parantheses.

Ted was the one who wrote -- with real names -- about Jake holding hands in NY with an "Austin Nichols" look-alike last year.
During the time that everybody said that Jake probably never saw Austin Ted stuck to his guns.
And the bf is and always has been Austin.

Have you even read the Toothy archives? Doesn't sound like it.

Anonymous said...

Word is that the Ent Lawyer isn't a lawyer, and hasn't got any real sources.

Anonymous said...

BTW Ted doesn't run Jake's life and cannot/does not know everything.

Anonymous said...

Reese was seen before the biking pics, with Jake on a Monday. They were wearing gray hoodies. She was in DC the next day.

She is in europe now promoting her movie wearing that gold bnd after not wearing it for awhile. Jake hasn't been seen since the biking pics.

The biking pics were a PR photo op IMO.

Anonymous said...

For two years posters have sworn blind that Jake doesn't even remember Austin's name so excuse me if I think Ted knows more than they do.

Anonymous said...

These latest pics sure blew that theory right out of the water, didn't they? :) :)

Anonymous said...

The biking pics were a PR photo op IMO.

PR for what? Makes no sense. Jake hasn't been pictured with Austin for two years now. Wouldn't make a difference in PR terms if they weren't pictured together for another two years.

I think some Reese fans are put out by the reappearance of Austin, nd clinging to the hope it's PR before Reese announces they're engaged and expecting.

Neither is true IMO.

Anonymous said...

7:57 "Jake was whining about needing money on the set of Brothers to his visiting ACLU slashers."

Really? I don't recall that at all. Do have a quote or link for that?

Anonymous said...

Jake said he can't retire yet.

Anonymous said...

So saying you can't retire yet is "whining" about money? LOL

Anonymous said...

He was reported, not in the vetted posted "report", but by T&L off the cuff, to have said he was doing PoP for the money, and it sounded wah wah wah. Sorry no link I heard it with my own ears.

The lunch was Nailed, not Brothers, I forgot this, he also wasnt too happy with Nailed. Jake has got a big mouth. Except lately.

Anonymous said...

he also wasnt too happy with Nailed

What did he say?

Anonymous said...

^ ^ ^
Ted's got a big mouth, also

Anonymous said...

7:59, we are talking about Ted's recent comments, esp. in the past couple of weeks.

Ted's the one who's been talking smack about possibly outing Jake in response to Jake's supposed "daring " Ted to out him. I am not talking about the BI and cutsey word game that Ted plays, but actually stating that Jake is gay.

Then Ted does an unnecessary write-up about Reeke's desire to achieve power couple fame ala Bradgelina. Sarcastic or not, Ted brought this up.

Then we get the bike pics which would seem to belie Ted's constant drumming about Toothy being cemented in the closet. So, Toothy's not so afraid to be seen out and about with his "friend."

I think it was a pr move. It makes Ted look like he really doesn't know what Reeke is doing (because he should have anticipated this), it keeps other people guessing as well, and pr has now established that they have done a good enough job so that it's safe for Jake to appear with Austin because most will just see Austin as a friend.

Anonymous said...

It's amazing what a picture will do to change opinions.. All I have heard is what a lying, pr whore Jake is.

But the picture with Austin isn't part of the pr campaign. Suddenly it Jake pushing back; Austin is fed up.

Oh please, you forget Reese is part of this threesome. She is not going to allow anything to happen that will in anyway undo all of the work she has put into this arrangement.

The bearding will continue.

Anonymous said...

Or Jake did the bike pics as a "fuck you" to Reese after yet another mention by her calling him her bf in Elle. She's really pushing it, Jake hasn't said 1 word or called Reese his gf, maybe he's sick of her crap.

Anonymous said...

Nah, the point of bearding is to pretend to be gf and bf.

Anonymous said...

P.S. Jake could be sick of her crap but it's not Reese's Elle crap.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Jake is sick of Reese's stink.

Anonymous said...

Jake and Reese are friends. Get past it people. Jake is an equal partner in this. He's not being coerced.

They both made a decision to do this. Jake could easily end this.

Jake has no reason to stop the bearding. The people whinning on the internet are a tiny part of the general public.

PR is focused on the big audience and the big picture.

Anonymous said...

No, we're a cross section of the general public, kinda like the "word on the street", and I think we can represent the general public, if anyone pays attention? Sometimes I wonder. I will say in whatever the capacity, it's nice to see Jake with Austin. Hope they're a couple tho, that would be nice.

Anonymous said...

PR is focused on the big audience and the big picture.

Jake needs new PR team and PR focused on him.

Anonymous said...

Yes, yes, yes! I hate when he's referred to as Reese's bf. Now Austin's bf? That wouldn't be so bad. :)

Anonymous said...

If Jake is an equal partner in bearding then why hasn't he said anything about Reese being his gf? And don't give me shit about he hasn't done any interviews, he did the POP ET vid interview without bringing up Reese and he can talk to whoever anytime he likes. I think he's being a passive bearder, happy enough to show up with Reese in places and be papped with her, let the rags and the masses jump to their own erroroneous conclusion, which they did; Hot Romance. I think that's all he really expected to do and expected Reese to do, photo ops nothing that can be quoted and thrown back at them later. But now SHE'S the one spouting off about him being a bf, etc. to magazines like Elle and Vogue to serve her pathetic PR purposes. It was fine and dandy when it was only pics and anon sources in People and US but now that she's out there talking about him as a bf it's really putting Jake in an awkward spot, between a rock and a hard place. She's forcing him to verbally lie about it now. As long as he doesn't say a word, and as long as he keeps being seen more with Austin, the more the public will see that the Reeke pics were conjecture and a case of "see what you want to see" fan fiction, and Reese's quotes will come back to haunt her. I hope she screws herself royally.

Anonymous said...

I see the troll is babbling on as usual. First they complain that Ted did not mention the biking pics, then when he does, they complain that he did not mention Austin by name and now how come ted doesn't know about the ultimatum. Give it a rest already. Jake will be coming shortly. Actually, he doesn't even need to formally come out. Just be seen out and about with Austin from now on. Everyone will understand what it means.

Loved Ted's juicy comment about the arranged arm candy. Keep calling them out Ted.

Anonymous said...

Jake will be coming shortly. Hilarious mistake but probably true. I meant to say coming out.

Anonymous said...

:)

Anonymous said...

No problem!

Anonymous said...

*looks for parking lot cam*

Anonymous said...

Monday, March 9, 2009

RESPONSE TO NICK GRAY

I am an actor.
I am Lincoln Booth.
I am Austin Nichols.

Today I have three auditions in Los Angeles.
I have three different sets of clothes and shoes
in my car.

I got my hair jelly. PO made. Not Fop.

I'm a Dapper Dan Man. Three different hair
styles and three costume changes in one day.
Three appointments in three completely scattered
locations. One hour spaced between them.
In LA traffic, this amount of time is not ample.

Yell at agent later.

Throw an apple in the car. A tangerine.
A Clif Bar. Cashews. Anything in the pantry
to munch on while en route.

Wardrobe quick change, like in the theatre, except
I'm also piloting a car on the 405 freeway, nearing
77 miles-per-hour. Fast enough to not be late,
slow enough to avoid law enforcement. Change shoes
at a stop light. Throw the jeans in the back seat.
Grab the black slacks.

Oh shit, I'm not wearing underwear.

I wonder if anyone can see me.
I look to my right. Two girls in a Prius.
Both in stitches. Chuckling like hyenas.
Hybrid Hyenas. Good band name.

They can see everything God gave me.

I turn bright red. No. That's a lie. I smile.
I loved it. Nudist. Exhibitionist. I hit the gas.
They gave me a farewell honk. I wish I could meet them.
They were cute. Shit, focus. Character. Auditions.
Emotion. Starving. Eat a hard-boiled egg.
Egg shells fly out the window, land in the Blvd..

Thank you, Joan Didion.

Wait, I am Lincoln Booth. Not Cory, the jock.
Not Sam, the tortured guy. Not Brad, the boy next-door.
Wait, I am all of those. But I don't want to be right now.

I am Lincoln Booth. But I can't be.
I need to be Crosby, the record producer.
For just an hour, stay with Crosby, then you can go back to Lincoln.

I drift back to unexpected driving nudity.
What would have happened if I was driving through
West Hollywood when I had to switch trousers?

Brilliant!

Arrive at destination. No place to park. Shit, I'm late.
Drive around until someone leaves. Pull in.
Don't pay meter yet. Will pay in a second.
Quick rehearsal.

Pedestrian POV

A small Korean woman walks by my car.
Inside the car, she sees a tall, naked man,
crying and yelling intenesely into the rearview
mirror. She books it!!!

A white parking enforcement hybrid pulls in
front of my car. Angry black woman. Oh shit.
I didn't pay the meter yet. I jump out of the car
to plead my case. Shit. I'm still naked.
In the act of throwing on slacks.

No shirt or shoes. I say...

Crosby
I'm so sorry....
No...

Lincoln
I was just about to pay...
No...

Austin
(smiles wide)
Good mornin, sugar. I am so sorry. I was
just about to throw a couple quarters in your meter.
I apologize for my semi-nudity. I've had a crazy
morning. You know how it is.

Meter Maid
If you think you're gettin out of this, you are sorely
mistak... Wait a minute... Were you in The Day After Tomorrow?

I'M GONNA LET YOU OFF WITH A WARNING!!

your faithful servant,

austin nichols

link

Anonymous said...

Damn. Does anyone else wish that he picked a more exciting beard? How about a hot young one like Megan Fox or Vanessa Hudgens? How about a fucked-up one like Sienna Miller or Amy Whinehouse? Those two are train wrecks. Now, if he were to hook-up with one of them, I'd actually enjoy reading the PR drenched tabloid tales. The stories about him and Reese are about as exciting as a soggy hot dog roll.

Anonymous said...

Oh that is wonderful - I love how Austin writes.

Can you just imagine him saying that to a certain someone? :)

Anonymous said...

"Can you just imagine him saying that to a certain someone?"

Well he never said it to us!

Anonymous said...

Damn. Does anyone else wish that he picked a more exciting beard? How about a hot young one like Megan Fox or Vanessa Hudgens? How about a fucked-up one like Sienna Miller or Amy Whinehouse? Those two are train wrecks. Now, if he were to hook-up with one of them, I'd actually enjoy reading the PR drenched tabloid tales. The stories about him and Reese are about as exciting as a soggy hot dog roll.

IA! But don't Megan, Sienna, and Amy (dfon't know about Vanessa) want to have real sex with someone? Thats why Reese is perfect for the bearding, she's never going to be caught with anyone else.

Anonymous said...

Sienna Miller or Amy Whinehouse? Those two are train wrecks

Are you in the business of spinning? Since when Sienna is a trainwreck?

Anonymous said...

Not 11:05 but since when do I remembere any movie Sienna Miller's been in? I remember Sienna with married Jude Law and Sienna with Rys Ifans (yuck) and Sienna with married Balt Getty and something about her dropping out/getting fired off of a Crowe set but movies? Not a one.

Anonymous said...

It makes Ted look like he really doesn't know what Reeke is doing (because he should have anticipated this),

Gee, do you think Ted got his Jake memo for this week yet?
You know, the page-long report signed by Jake telling Ted his movements for the next week, and all his innermost feelings---------no? Or maybe Ted just gets the occasional e-mail from a source like all other gossip columnists.

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