Sunday 25 May 2008

Dr. Parnassus, Session Four

Feb 14, 2008

Q: Doctor Parnassus, what is this 'love that dare not speak its name'?
Doctor Parnassus: That, my funny Valentine, is a phraseology from a 19th century poetical effort by my distant cousin, Lord Freddy "Turtleneck" Douglas. It referred to a deep spiritual affection between two confirmed bachelors. In our less tolerant times, it refers to a deep spiritual affection between two men who are not confirmed bachelors.
Q: Non-bachelors cannot speak about their love?
Doctor Parnassus: Oh baby ruth…as another distant relative of mine said, there's a river running underground, underneath the town towards the sea. You say you love flowers, yet you pluck them. You say you love trees, yet you cut them down. And you wonder why some are afraid to speak their love!
Q: Is this about Jake and Heath?
Doctor Parnassus: My little dove bar, love is like a box of bitter chocolates. The one that we cannot have 
is the one that lasts the longest, cuts the deepest, and feels the strongest. Yes, love lifts us up where we belong, where the eagles fly, on a mountain high! Yet love is also like pi — natural, irrational, and in the end, unspeakable.
Q: So Jake does admire Heath?
Doctor Parnassus: Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?
Q: Heath didn’t seem to want worshipping.
Doctor Parnassus: Hero with feet of clay, oh earthbound angel, oh shining knight of darkest sorrow, Adonis with an Achilles heel, sweet prince with a bitter smile! Doth perfect beauty stand in need of praise at all?
Q: Doc, you look flushed, are you all right?
Doctor Parnassus: Forgive me. I have a psychosomatic reaction to true religion.
Q: Since we’re on the topic of love…what about Jake’s bachelor friend Austin. Why is he out of the picture?
Doctor Parnassus: Cara caramello, I think the show had poor ratings.
Q: No, why is he never seen with Jake anymore?
Doctor Parnassus: As Mr Brando once advised Mr Rock Hudson, "you cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom."
Q: What?
Doctor Parnassus: As the Chinaman says, "man who eats prunes, gets good run for money."
Q: I’m not following. Are you saying it’s a career move?
Doctor Parnassus: Dear turkish delight, your naivete is delicious.
Q: But…is Jake really into that woman?
Doctor Parnassus: The last time my client was inside a woman was when he went to the Statue of Liberty.
Q: Hmmm. Back to Heath. Jake can never speak of him?
Doctor Parnassus: As Sir Ang Lee once told me, Mr Gyllenhaal is the meandering river, Mr Ledger the bottomless ocean. The river knows not its depth until it reaches the ocean.
Q: You mean denial ain't just a river in Egypt?
Doctor Parnassus: Oi, reese's peanut butter cup! Mr Gyllenhaal has an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Yet while we always love those who admire us, we do not always love those whom we admire.
Q: I am more confused than ever.
Doctor Parnassus: Butterfinger, you must be in love.

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