Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Gay BFF: A User's Guide

Jake Gyllenhaal and Penelope Cruz
Jake Gyllenhaal and Penelope Cruz
Vanity Fair Oscar Party 2009


If you're a girl of a certain age, or even a metrosexual boy with an enlightened sense of style, chances are you have a gay best friend. You two are probably pretty tight and tell each other everything. After all, gays are like really understanding well-dressed genies, right? Like all cute, smart and adorable animals, your gay is more complicated than you think. To help you get the most out of your gay BFF, we've assembled a brief manual of operations.

Gay men are like straight men, it's just they're not trying to fuck you.

"Why can't there be straight guys, like you?" you ask us and we smile, secure in our knowledge that we're more talented, charming and well-groomed than any straight boy you'll ever encounter. Here's the dirty little secret the gays have been keeping from you: We're huge horrible jerks, too—it's just we have no desire to pork you, so we won't fuck with your head. Yes, we listen to you and talk about our feelings, but believe it or not, these are things that straight guys do as well, they just don't do it with you. Again, because of the whole fucking thing. They're trying to get into bed with you and men, in general, always assume there's some sort of secret game of indifference and emotional manipulation that's needed to score. How do we know this? Because we do it to other guys all the time. We don't call our dates back. We act aloof and have terrible fears of commitment. You know how we tell you about all the terrible things our various boyfriends do to us? Well, guess what? We're doing them, too. Why do we seem like such a better catch than straight dudes? Because we don't want to have sex with you. If we did, we'd be jerks, too.

Never fall in love with your gay.

Following from this, the single most important thing to maintaining a long term friendship with your gay is to never-ever fall in love with them. Remember how you felt about N'Sync growing up? Chances are, your gay BFF brings up a lot of those old pre-teen feelings. At some point, perhaps during some 2am chat about the various merits of Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Chip, you'll think to yourself, "This is so much better than the annoying singles scene. If only I could get him to sleep with me." When you start having these thoughts, you need to send your gay home. While we can have deep emotional relationships with our girlfriends, we're never going to be able to give you what you want. The reason the relationship is easy is because it's not going anywhere. Real relationships are messy, complicated and riddled with self-doubt and expectation. Pursuing a gay boy will only wind up with you resenting them, not just because they can't return your love, but because you've spent all your time wooing them instead of finding a man who will give you what you want.

Do not call yourself a "fag hag." Do not let your gay call you one.

"Fag hag" is a really demeaning term. It's a fat girl who can never get a date. It's someone who still has unicorn posters in her bedroom. You're a woman. Your life isn't defined by your gays and if it is, you should reconsider what you're doing with your life. Don't hide behind your gays. Don't use them as a crutch. Instead, face life fabulously together.

Don't ask "So are you the guy or the girl?" Do ask about gay sex.

Don't laugh! This happens more often than you think. At some point, you're going to start becoming interested in how this whole gay sex thing happens and despite everything the Japanese manga industry has told you, it's not all longing gazes and hand-holding. Believe it or not, most gays are shy about talking about their sex lives, at least with straight people. This is because, for the most part, the heterosexual world considers what we do gross and icky. Taking an active interest in your gays sex life will show them that you're actually interested in them. On a related note, feel free to ask them about gay rights and gay causes. Don't just tell them you agree with them, but ask their opinion. It's a two-way street girlfriend. It is totally okay to ask if they're a top or a bottom, though. Just don't laugh when they say they're a top.

If he drags you to a gay bar, drag him to a straight one.

Another dirty little secret about your gay BFF: The reason he drags you out to gay bars is to get laid. As previously mentioned, gays are just as bad as straights when it comes to dating and hooking-up and having you by his side takes off a lot of the pressure. Just as he's your emotional safety net, at a gay bar, you are his rejection safety net. You're also a convenient conversation starter: "Oh, yeah, this is Dana. I thought I'd take her out and show her how the gay half lives!" You're someone who can vouch for the fact that he's not a psycho without looking like competition.

This is great and all, but you need to make sure there's some parity. Use your gay boy to get you some straight tail. Promise him a night of breeder fun and hold him to it. The best way to lure a gay out on a straight night is say you want to start off at Hooters. As we've mentioned many times before on this blog, Hooters is gay catnip. We don't know why, but seriously, just thinking about Hooters makes me want to call up The Hostess for hot wings. Once you have them out, drag them to a straight bar, point out men you're into and use them as props.

Now, here's how this works for both of you. At some point in the night your gay is going to meet a man or you are. You need to have a signal for each other which means, "I am ready to get laid now. Time to go." If you think this is mean or unfair, just imagine you've met a really cute guy at a bar, you're getting along famously and your gay friend is there, talking about the latest Daft Punk album. Remember, the key to a healthy straight-gay relationship is to be having sex with people who will have sex with you. Never let that trump your desire for emotional snuggle time.

Don't make your boyfriend hang out with your gay. If you're a straight dude, please don't assume we want to sleep with you.

Congratulations! You've followed all our advice and instead of developing a tragic codependency with your gay, you've both found boyfriends are maintaining a healthy friendship. Now, do your straight lover a favor and don't insist that he become BFF's with your gay, too. If it happens, let it happen, but as many a Craigslist rant attests to, straight guys don't like competition, even if it's from gay dudes.

And now a word for the straight guys: We don't want to sleep with you. Now, because we're guys, we know that underneath that macho exterior, there's a insecure guy constantly craving validation. But it's amazing that no matter how unattractive, unshaven or slovenly they are, every straight guy I've known for any length of time has admitted that he assumes I am secretly into them. What's worse is that they're crestfallen when I say, "Sorry, you're not my type." Yes, some of you guys are really hot, but for the most part, our desire not to get beaten up and killed trumps whatever desire we have to make a move on you. Now, if you start reciprocating, all bets are off, but so long as you don't want to sleep with us, we're probably not going to try to sleep with you.

Because you know another gay person, do not assume that they will make the perfect boyfriend for your gay BFF.

You know what happens when you set us up on a date with the other gay you know? We go for dinner at a mid-scale restaurant and talk about you the whole time. We smile politely at each other and go our separate ways. Why? There's nothing so unsexy as being set-up by our straight BFF.

Source: Queerty, The Care and Feeding of Your Homosexual: A User's Guide for Straights; Photo: IHJ

1,285 comments:

1 – 200 of 1285   Newer›   Newest»
Jackie said...

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@ Previous post's comments
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Anonymous said...

Heath is used here for amunition against Jake.

I don't think so. Some people love both, some prefer to discuss Jake - that's it.

The most important thing - we have more than enough ammunition provided by Jake and Reeke.

Anonymous said...

***Oh my Goddess, there aren't lots of people with different opinions, there's just ONE person who disagrees with everything! Mystery solved, no need to debate them anymore, let's all just ignore them and drool over Jake and Austin and knit mittens for Baby T!***

LMAO some here are delusional. And it would be in their best interst to believe this.
It helps their cause!

^^^ THE WORD FOR TODAY ^^^

PLEASE READ IT PEOPLE

Anonymous said...

It's so funny how opinions change. Go back a few years and all the posters on WFT were talking Heath down, moaning about how his performance in Brokeback Mountain was just a reprise of his work in Monsters Ball, that it was stilted and somewhat dull and that it was Jake who had done the better work in that film, and that Heath was playing Hollywood by distancing himself from the film and quickly getting a wife and daughter whilst Jake was out at gay functions supporting the wider message of the film. Funny how opinions on people's work can change when you don't like who they're being seen with.

^^ So True. I remember. But the fanbois here don't and they are mad at Jake because he has not come out as fortold. They are upset at him so now he can't act, he's ugly, and his career is now over. And the newer posters have followed right behind the upset fanboys. Anger is the cause of the change. nothing more, nothing less.


You are both wrong.

Our opinion about Jake's acting didn't change because he's bearding - some love it, some don't care too much. I remember old WFT posters who didn't care about Jake's acting when he was "out" with Austin. Jake is bearding and I love his acting.

TBs aren't regular fangirls/fanboys, we have our own opinion about Jake's work and private life, we don't buy PR or Jake's words without questioning.

Anonymous said...

I remember old WFT posters who didn't care about Jake's acting when he was "out" with Austin.

P.S. I remember it well because I didn't understand how can someone be Toothy fan without being "true" Jake fan.

Q said...

Feb 19, 2009

Gay for Oscar: Actors Who Have Lisped It Up for the Statuette

While Milk is unique in that its gay characters are not terrifying sociopaths, murders, criminals, dying or horribly closeted, it's hardly the first gay film to nab Oscar gold for actors willing to don a shade of lavender for the limelight. Here's a brief history of gay for pay, Oscar-nom edition. Asterisks denote a win

Sunday Bloody Sunday
1971- Best Actor: Peter Finch
...
Dog Day Afternoon
1975- Best Actor: Al Pacino
Best Supporting Actor: Chris Sarandon
...
Only When I Laugh
1981- Best Supporting Actor: James Coco
...
Silkwood
1983- Best Supporting Actress: Cher
...
Kiss of the Spider Woman
1985- Best Actor: William Hurt*
...
Longtime Companion
1990- Best Actor: Bruce Davison
...
Philadelphia
1993- Best Actor: Tom Hanks*
...
As Good As It Gets
1997- Best Supporting Actor: Greg Kinnear
...
Gods and Monsters
1998- Best Actor: Ian McKellan
...
Boys Don't Cry
1999- Best Actress: Hillary Swank*
...
The Hours
2002- Best Actress: Nicole Kidman*
Best Supporting Actor: Ed Harris
Best Supporting Actress: Julianne Moore
...
Before Night Falls
2000- Best Actor: Javier Bardem
...
Monster
2003- Best Actress: Charlize Theron*
...
Capote
2005- Best Actor: Phillip Seymour Hoffman*

Despite a mesmerizing impersonation of the fabulously nebbish Truman Capote, Philip Seymour Hoffman couldn't save Capote from being a listless exercise in precious, precious simonizing. The Academy disagreed and gave Hoffman the Oscar over that year's other gay character nominee.

Brokeback Mountain
2005- Best Actor: Heath Ledger

We wouldn't mind Hoffman's win so much if it hadn't deprived Heath Ledger from a much-deserved win for that "gay cowboy movie," Brokeback Mountain. An iconic, star-making performance, Ledger's portrayal of Ennis Del Mar opened the door to big-screen roles like The Joker, for which he is posthumously nominated this year.

Transamerica
2005- Best Actress: Felicity Huffman
...
Notes on a Scandal
2006 - Best Actress: Judi Dench
...

Gay for Oscar

Anonymous said...

Is Jake interviewing for a new Oscar-winning beard? Jake totally gets the hots for winners. Could you imagine the eye-fucking from Jake Heath would get if he were alive holding an Oscar?

I would much prefer Penelope over Reese. Penelope seems easy-going, while Reese totally seems like she needs to get a straight guy to ease her pent-up frustration.

Javier said...

Hands off, Jakey!

Anonymous said...

Penelope is superior to Reese in every aspect you can think of.

Anonymous said...

Penelope is of course gay herself (is there anyone in Hollywood who doesn't know this?), so it might be an ideal merkin/beard situation.

Anonymous said...

"Could you imagine the eye-fucking from Jake Heath would get if he were alive holding an Oscar?"

Oh.My.God. Jake would probably hump him right there.

prairiegirl said...

PG presents this good guy image but wavers quite often as not to ruffle the feathers of the Jake/Austin love affair = babytile fanatic / gurus and then picks and takes stabs at Jake, his choices, and career whenever the wind blows, but now Austin is off limits. Get real. Reminds me of the school girl who wants to be liked and hang with the in crowd..


Of course I waver on BT and whether Jake & Austin are still together. I have said so on OMG several times. I'm not 100% on what I believe on those 2 subjects. Obviously you're not 100% on whatever you believe or you wouldn't be here blogging.

But no one can tell what you 100% believe anyway because I've yet to see any of my observations about your agenda or identity addressed. It's just been personal attacking. And don't say that you don't have an agenda or don't regularly post somewhere; that would be a bunch of you know what.

I'll tell you what, tho. I like alot of people. And I like Jake. I just don't like some of the choices he's making right now. I like people that I work with. I like people that I blog with. And I offered two times to let bygones be bygones; no hard feelings. I would be on friendly terms with you as well if you'd let anybody inside that prison wall of yours. Because I can be on friendly terms with anybody if we can disagree on something but not get snarly & personal about it and can let it go when you reach an impasse. I don't need to be part of an "in" crowd. I belong where it's important. But who doesn't want to be liked and have friends? I ask you that. Don't you? I do. Always have. Always will.

But since you can't seem to do that, I've got to let it go. Go ahead & let go with another personal attack. I'm around if you ever want to let bygones be bygones and shake hands.

You all have a great day over here! I've got to get to work.

Penelope said...

Qué? No entiendo.

Anonymous said...

WHAT?! Now Penelope is the perfect girl for Jake??!
She has had more jobs as a beard than as an actress and that's how she got her Oscar.
I don't like Reese as a beard and much less as an artist but at least she is helping Jake to stay relevant...

Anonymous said...

How is using Jake as a good image marketing tool "helping Jake to stay relevant" ?

Anonymous said...

If Heath were alive and holding that Oscar, Jake would be wrapped around him like a blanket. They would have to tranquilize Jake in order to pry him off.

Despite all of the "chemistry" I 've read about in the pictures of Jake and Austin together, I never saw the kind of intensity from Jake that I saw in the pictures with him and Heath.

That's interesting about Halperin's statement about Jake and Austin. He knows Ted so he has to know that Austin is considered Grey Goose. He has to know that Ted has still maintained that Jake and Austin are still together. But Halperin doesn't seem to know if Jake is with anyone male at the moment.

I don't find Halperin particulary credible, but this is such a direct contradiction of Ted's narrative.

Interesting.

Blame It said...

Jamie Foxx Gets 'Holly' With Samuel L Jackson, Whitaker In 'Blame It' Premiere (Video)

Jamie Foxx is playing a full deck of Hollywood cards in his latest video, "Blame It On The A-L-C-O-H-O-L," where actors Samuel L. Jackson and Forest Whitaker are spotted with T-Pain.

In the video preview (below), Jackson, Whitaker, Ron Howard and Jake Gyllenhaal make cameos with the Oscar winning star.

'Blame It' Premiere (Video)

Anonymous said...

Now Penelope is the perfect girl for Jake??!

Geez - perfect beard! Nice woman and a great actress.

Anonymous said...

" Anonymous said...
Now Penelope is the perfect girl for Jake??!

Geez - perfect beard! Nice woman and a great actress."

And she's a lesbian, 8:00. let's not forget that she's a lesbian.

Ted said...

Such a Thing as a Real Hollywood Love Story?

Clearly most of you bitchin' commenters are starting to see that not every relaysh is People-friggin' perf. Jen Aniston and John Mayer may act like a "normal" couple, but you all know, and mostly agree, something just isn't what it seems there.

Now for some of you whiners, no, we don't think every Hollywood couple is fake, just that most have their own agendas, but hey, a lot of regular people use each other, too.

So who are our three of fave user couples?

1. Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens
Since tweens can't get Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart together, this is the next best young couple. HSM has sky rocketed in popularity since the onscreen loves became all cutesy in real life. Plus, two is better than one, so both Hollywood virgins get extra press à la Brangelina. Zac would probably be fine on his own, but no one would give a hoot about V (aside from nudey pics) if she wasn't dating him. "You should have seen them at the Vanity Fair Oscar party; she would never leave his side," blabbed someone inside (maybe us!). "She knows exactly what she's getting out of this relationship."

2. Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson
The newly engaged pair so does not scream together forever to us. Why? 'Cause they're never together. We know about some of their past successful relationships, and let's just say we don't see these two working out. Adam Brody on the other hand? Why the ef did R.B. ever split with that cutie? Now that was a couple we'd like to see back together.

3. Cindy and John McCain
Look, even America didn't buy that totally fabricated, wholesome family unit crap! This is a duo who haven't been truly together since Marie Osmond was a one-woman woman. Just gives us hope here at A.T. that not everybody's into being cupid hoodwinked in this country. But will Hollywood fans follow suit?

Far more showmance dissections to come in this department, fer sure.

Anonymous said...

Cute post, Jackie. :)

Another wild night at WFT2

This made me laugh - we get a little heated here in our discussions, a little trash talkin', a little bad decorum, but as long as we don't get overly nasty to each other, what's wrong with a heated debate? Some of us just communicate in a vivid manner I think, no need to worry about our blood pressures rising, "apopleptic" fainting spells, or whatever, we just like to discuss. I will make one correction, Jake is a good actor, I just find Heath exceptional, but I have no doubt Jake is too. No, we don't need to validate Heath's acting at WFT2 or anywhere, but we want to and like to. :)

Jake's relationship with Reese, whether real or faux for business arrangement, certainly gives him a lot more mainstream appeal, whether that makes him more relevant, I don't know.

I wonder why Jake doesn't grab Reese around the waist like he did Penelope? I know he's probably just hugging her and congratulating her on her Oscar win, but it's enthusiastic. Reese is much more reserved, but that may be her nature.

Anonymous said...

I love Ted's way with words. :)

Anonymous said...

"I don't find Halperin particulary credible, but this is such a direct contradiction of Ted's narrative."

Maybe they both tell crap !!

Anonymous said...

I wonder why Jake doesn't grab Reese around the waist like he did Penelope?

Because Jake, like the vast majority of people, doesn't enjoy faking affection.

Anonymous said...

^^Whew! :) Glad to hear it - he's obviously very comfortable with Penelope. He probably wants to grab Reese around the neck, but whatever. ;)

Anonymous said...

There are pics of Reeke where he doesn't seem to want to grab her around the neck !!
bitter no????? lol

Anonymous said...

Why so serious?

Ted said...

Bitch Back!

Dear Ted:
You get hunkier all the time. I know you're humble, though, so I won't belabor the point. Listen, would the first initial of Toothy's last name be "A"? And on another topic entirely, do you foresee trouble with a major good-looking Hollywood couple (the husband has been known to have a vice known as gambling and the wifey just had another baby)?
—SnoRom

Dear Blind Vice Bitching:
Thanks, and yes, I do. As for name gaming with Toothy, he isn't Ben Affleck.

Dear Ted:
Is Toothy Tile Jim Carrey? And if not, why not?
—Julia

Dear Talkin' Toothy:
Jimmy's been living a pretty drama-less life with longtime gal-pal Jenny McCarthy. And Jim doesn't need a female fling to keep his career up—he needs a good movie role. Soon.

The Awful Truth

Anonymous said...

For God's sake 9:11 AM.

No one thinks that Jake hates Reese, he just doesn't like her much.

Anonymous said...

sure he seemed more into Kirsten !!

Anonymous said...

True.

Anonymous said...

I will say, Jake seemed a lot less pussy-whipped in the latest Oscar pic, burst into the room to make his entrance, even the way he's holding Reese's hand has more verve than before, his hand is on top. A strong woman doesn't need to dominate a man, she wants a man just as strong as she is, to excite her, challenge her, stand up to her. Not one she can lead around by the nose. And she doesn't have to sacrifice her femininity to do it - feminine is strong by nature, different than a man, but no less strong. JMO.

Long Time TB said...

Jake would have never bearded with Penelope because of the rumors about her. He thought nobody in the world would believe that Reese would beard, ergo, he must be straight! Too bad for Reeke and pr that only the silly babblers and people who are indifferent to Jake and/or don['t pay much attention to gossip bought it.

Funny how mentioning a few facts about Heath, all pretty much true (the Dylan movie making less than Rendition) sent people into a frenzy of "you're hating on Heath" posts. The poster didn't say Heath wasn't a good or even better actor than Jake, never said that movie wasn't good, never said he was a bad person, just had his flaws like everyone else, didn't call him "D List".

So let's see if I've got it right:

Heath is a god, can't say anything about him that suggests he is remotely human or made some mistakes along the way.

Jake ia human, we can talk about his flaws and whether he's a good actors, etc.

Austin is no better than an insect who can be trashed and stepped on.

All of this seemingly based not on what kind of person they are, but what kind of work they've gotten and the kind of actor they are. Also, Heath is straight, Jake "bi" according to many here (or more ambiguous seeming in his sexuality) and Austin gay.

See a pattern? Translate this to HW, and ask yourself again why anyone would come out when even Jake's fans treat people according to the awards they've won and their perceived sexuality/rung on the masculinity scale.

Anonymous said...

You got it all wrong.

Anonymous said...

I wanted to make the point about Heath's Oscar - some said it was "only" for a Batman movie, but Heath and the other fine actors in TDK elevated it and gave it the validity to be taken seriously at the Oscars - a testament to their fine acting, much the same as Sir Anthony Hopkins did with Silence of the Lambs. When have you ever heard of horror or action films being Oscar worthy? That's what Heath did. :)

Anonymous said...

please don't compare these two characters !!
Hopkins's role was more intense and complex.

That saying, yes Heath elevated TDK, without him this movie would have been boring. I just don't see the masterpiece some pretend!

Anonymous said...

Hopkins's role was more intense and complex.

That's subjective.

Anonymous said...

Hopkins's role was more intense and complex.

No.

No need for you to see it as a masterpiece, it's enough the rest of the world, a few naysayers aside, does. ;)

Anonymous said...

I just don't see the masterpiece some pretend!

Pretend? Some see it masterpiece, some don't. Opinions. Most critics liked it though.

Anonymous said...

Ok don't you have other topics? Like moaning how ugly Reese is? How Jake's "bearding" is lame? Or if Jake is with Baby Tile and Austin (the love of his life) right now.

Let's move on from Heath. Too many green eyed posters here trying to drag Heath down (not with success if I may add ;)).

Anonymous said...

9:55, the babblers, the average fan/movie goers who don't pay attention to the gossip are the majority. If the majority buy it, then pr has accomplished their goal. You just defeated your own argument.

No one is claiming that Heath was a god. His flaws made him interesting. I certainly don't care if people mention his flaws, just try to have your information correct. I know about his cocaine use, but by all I've read he had cleaned up before he died. He died from a mixture of presciption drugs. I know he was a womanizing stud. I know about the rumors about him and twinks. Did I miss anything.

But he was also a creative artist with a variety of interests and skills. Just the kind of person who could be an inspriation to Jake. Someone earlier had done a post of just some of the stuff Heath was into, but I don't have the time to go back and find it.

But there is no question that he was a superior actor whose performance powered a movie to billion dollar status. TDK was good, but it was Heath's performance that made people go back numerous times. He created an iconic performance. The Joker; Ennis Del Mar, the man's breath was indicative of his depth.

He was also a strong-willed, complicated and beautiful man.

Jake has given good performances in a number of films, and his performance as Jack Twist could also be considered iconic.

Austin Nichols is a C-list (at best) actor. His status may change, but he has yet to give a performance in a major film at the level of either Jake or Heath. So in Hollywood hierarchy, that would make him a nobody. Generally, film trumps tv.

In every profession you have hierarchies. In society generally, there are hierarchies. This is the reality of the real world.

If you want Austin to be given better consideration, then he needs to step it up.

On a personal level, if I had to chose between Heath or Austin as a better companion for Jake (not necessarily on a sexual level, just in terms of what he could offer Jake), Heath all the way.

Anonymous said...

"Oh no, people like Heath"... sob, "they respect him as an actor"... sob. "I want Jake to be the bestest actor in the world"...sob. "I'm just wainting for him to have major success and than I'll laugh Heath fans in the face". "Secretly I'm glad the druggie is dead". Ha, ha, ha.

Anonymous said...

10:22 AM, you can post and comment whatever you like.

Let people talk.

Anonymous said...

Austin Nichols is a C-list (at best) actor.

Just keep in mind that it doesn't mean he's a C-list person.

Anonymous said...

Imagine if Heath had success and was still alive? Some Jake fans would lose their mind. Now it's bearable because Jake still has a chance to outdo Heath.

Anonymous said...

Only silly, brainless fangirls could reason like that.

Anonymous said...

My perception is that the majority of people who are Jake fans are also Heath fans or, at least, don't dislike Heath.

I think the few people who are carping about Heath feel threatened. I like Jake, but recognize that up to now, Heath has proved the more versatile and better actor. I bet if you asked Jake, he would agree.

It isn't really Heath's acting abilities or behavior that has their knickers in a twist. It's Heath himself. They know Jake had a crush on Heath (if was not down right in love with him) and that ruins their fantasy of Austin being Jake's only true love.

They know that compared to Heath, Austin is a cypher, at best. Granted, he might be a nice cypher, but Austin doesn't hold a candle to Heath on any level. (And I think some of Heath's "bad boy" qualities are what appealed to Jake) And they fear in their heart of hearts that Jake knows this too.

They know that Jake would have dumped Austin in a minute if there was any way he could have gotten with Heath (still on the down low, of course, but Jake would have his man). And if this possiblity existed with Heath, they know that if another "Heath" comes along(a gay version), Austin is history.

Austin better get ready to be Jake's Jennifer Anniston.

Long Time TB said...

Exactly 10:37. That was my point.

And I guess if you think that being known as "Reese's boyfriend" by the majority of people, who could give a rats ass about Jake, is "success", well, then by all means you're right 10:28, the pr campaign for Jake has been a wild success.

Anonymous said...

10:56AM I can't disagree with you ;)

Anonymous said...

The makin's for squirrel scrotum stew

Chris said...

WOW!

Anonymous said...

10:32, you just don't get it. Being known as "Reese's boyfriend" means that he is straight. That is the reason he is bearding. Having that image cemented will make it easier for him to concentrate on getting access to a larger variety of roles.

If POP is even moderately successful, especially worldwide, that will take care of him being known as "Reese's boyfriend."

Anonymous said...

I would call going to fifth base with your boyfriend in a parking lot being a bad boy. Can't see Heath doing that. And if that blind item about Heath at the TIFF is true, Heath was into young twinks, and didn't want them to touch him, aside from fucking.

And I'm not threatened by Heath, just tired of people attacking Austin because he's not an A-list star. Almost every post saying he's not good enough for Jake repeats that he's a "C list actor" without much more in the way of reasons for why he's not good enought for Jake. I think you do that because you don't know a thing about Austin.

And seems to me Jake is the cypher, sucking up to and pleasing all the bigwigs by changing his image to suit their needs. Jake is now a blank slate, to be filled in as ordered by the people who he believes will make him the next Pitt or Clooney.

Anonymous said...

I do get it. I just don't think it's a very good strategy. If PoP is a failure Jake will forever be known as that guy who used to date Reese.

Anonymous said...

"Can't see Heath doing that."

Duh! Why would he if he wasn’t gay?

Anonymous said...

Posted on OMG

A bit of Jake and Sean Penn talking at the VF party:

VF Oscar Party Wrapup video

Anonymous said...

Heath also followed PR' instructions during BBM promotion and awards season.
He played "family guy" quite well,even if it was just for a short time. Apparently,it's ok to lie and pretend if you are straight.Only gays are banned to show themselves different as how they really are.
If you think bearding is the bigger lie you can find in HW,then you all better think again.

Anonymous said...

Heath was a family guy at that time. He was in love with Michelle and excited about Matilda.

Anonymous said...

This needs to be repeated:
from a previous post,

"Heath was:
an actor, singer, musician, athlete, horseman, marksman, director, photographer, founder of an artist collective, etc, etc. ... I sure there are things missing from the list; these are just off the top of my head.

Yes, Heath was a brillant actor. You couldn't have two roles more different than Ennis Del Mar and the Joker, and he pulled both off brillantly. Jake is not at his level yet. But the role of Jack Twist shows that he has the talent. It needs to be nurtured. Unfortunately, there is no one in LA who is going to do this. I really think the best thing Jake could do for himself would be to move to New York where he would be surrounded by the right kind of creative energy. And he could also use some of Heath's fearlessness.

And for Austin. He may get there, but I don't see him with the skill set to do it. I think he will always be B-C level at best."

You see just a part of what Heath had.

What has Austin got?

Yeah, he needs to hang onto his somebody boyfriend.

Anonymous said...

11:54

Having a family project and making it last for only a few months don't sound very serious to me.
Being a father is so much more than going out with the baby around the corner like taking a dog for a walk.

but he was straight (and dead) so, he is forgiven...

Anonymous said...

Heath and Michelle didn't separate until the Spring of 2007. Michelle had primary custody.

Heath was known to complain about not getting enough time with his daughter, but he took what he could get.

Regardless of what he felt about Michelle, there has never been any doubt that he adored his daughter.

This isn't about forgiveness. There's nothing to forgive.

Anonymous said...

12:15 PM, I'm sure Heath was a good and loving father.

What is your point? We are trashing Jake because he's gay?

wtf? said...

If you were watching the Oscars in Asia, the words "gay" and "lesbian" were censored. Gay Asians are pissed! [AP]

Anonymous said...

Being a father is so much more than going out with the baby around the corner like taking a dog for a walk.

What about hiding BT, is that what being a father is about?

ha! said...

Sherlock Holmes gay shock in new movie

IT’S shockingly eleMENtary, my queer Watson.

Super sleuth Sherlock Holmes is to be portrayed in a GAY way in Guy Ritchie’s new flick.

The fictional him-vestigator is seen SHARING A BED with his dear, dear, Dr Watson and also enjoying some man-to-man wrestling with his close chum. Speaking about the film, in which he plays Sherlock, Robert Downey Jr said: “We’re two men who happen to be room-mates, wrestle a lot and share a bed. It’s badass.”

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s legendary character is famous for donning his deerstalker hat, puffing on a pipe and solving mysteries with his trusted sidekick. Jude Law. who plays Watson in the film, added: “Guy wanted to make this about the relationship between Watson and Holmes. They’re both mean and complicated.” All the makings of a thrilling oooh-dunnit, obviously!

news of the world

Anonymous said...

Finally some Holmes/Watson action! lol

Anonymous said...

My perception is that the majority of people who are Jake fans are also Heath fans or, at least, don't dislike Heath.

IA. Still don't get why some people think trashing Heath will make Jake look better or vice versa.

Anonymous said...

Robert Downey Jr said: “We’re two men who happen to be room-mates, wrestle a lot and share a bed. It’s badass.”

Great quote. Thanks for this tidbit, posting person!

Milk said...

If you were watching the Oscars in Asia, the words "gay" and "lesbian" were censored. Gay Asians are pissed! [AP]

Oscar 2009 Dustin Lance Black (emotional speech god bless you)

Anonymous said...

I'm not familiar with this use of the word "cypher." Does it mean something like a puzzle, or does it mean "number" like a once-in-a-while lover? Or what?

free dictionary said...

cypher - a person of no influence

free dictionary said...

jackanapes, whippersnapper, lightweight - someone who is unimportant but cheeky and presumptuous

2009 said...

My god - they TOOK OUT the words "gay" and "lesbian"? That is so fucking depressing.

Anonymous said...

Exactly, let's see how many awards Brad Renfro (RIP) will win for The Informers, his last film. He died too didn’t he. 4:47 AM

Point, game and match, 4:47!

Anonymous said...

I think it's pretty obvious we don't now and never will know him, but his persona has changed.

Or maybe Jake just grew up?


I don't think so, I agree with "public persona, how he chooses to present himself to the public" changed.

Anonymous said...

I also read that in India when they re=broadcast the awards they took out all references to Milk.

Anonymous said...

Still no ring! Soccer Mom LOL

Anonymous said...

Why is she carrying her wallet/clutch purse wrapped in a napkin?!

Anonymous said...

Just saw Dying Gaul, fascinating film and performances. Harsh crique of Hollywhorewood. How come Peter S. plays gay and nobody gives a fuck about his sex life? whereas Jake drives some wild.

We know the answer to this, no time right now to reflect further.

see you later

Baby Bump aka Flab said...

Is drinking all this coffee good for me? Shit!

Anonymous said...

Not a napkin silly, check your eyes!!

The purse is in the pocket of her hoodie, the purse is too big for the pocket.

Her hair looks darker, no blonde highlights??

No ring, just the gold band that she has been wearing for months.

Anonymous said...

3.07 Yeah your right about the pocket. What a weird way to do it, stuff it in, why not carry it? and press it against the body with the opposite arm.

Anonymous said...

No ring, just the gold band that she has been wearing for months.

Looks like she doesn't wear it when she's off duty (doesn't expect paparazzi).

Anonymous said...

Oscar 2009 Dustin Lance Black (emotional speech god bless you)

Ah, those gays, Dustin made me cry.

Anonymous said...

Heath is used here for amunition against Jake.

Mary!

Anonymous said...

"Looks like she doesn't wear it when she's off duty (doesn't expect paparazzi)."

Huh? We're talking about no engagement ring. She usually wears the 2 small gold bands on the middle finger, they're supposed to look like Jakes old gold bands but they're not. Babblers say they are the same, or they say "ooh gold bands, it means they're secretly married" LOL

Anonymous said...

The way she was running in, was like she was late for an appointment. Wouldn't it be great if another site had pics of Jake there. Like duh, sure they live together, they drive separetly and meet at a coffee house.

The well-played troll said...

Austin Nichols is a C-list (at best) actor.

Just keep in mind that it doesn't mean he's a C-list person.


Well played.

Anonymous said...

That sure doesn't look like Reese, the hair is too dark and the chin too round.

Anonymous said...

Bumpy forehead and ugly mouth - it's her.

Anonymous said...

Huh?

Looks like she doesn't wear the gold band when she's off duty (doesn't expect paparazzi).

link

Anonymous said...

Musta gone to Linsey Lohan's colorist.

DL gossip said...

[Ryan Reynolds] Sleeps around strategically for his career. Artie Lang on Howard Stern was talking about it.

The Nines - Ryan Reynolds gets a bj from a delivery guy.

Anonymous said...

3:56, Wanna Bet?

Anonymous said...

4:33 - Bet what? Theres 2 3:56's.

4:27, loved the vid!

Anonymous said...

Scarlett's husband????

The Globe said...

Barack Obama in Gay Sex & Drug Scandal, According to World's Most Accurate News Publication

Of course The Globe's "gay scandal" cover story on Barack Obama has to include a shirtless photo of him on the beach — how else to communicate that "gay scandal" means "sex scandal"? The whole charade of a story is ridiculous, but given our penchant for mixing gay witch hunts and politics, let's see what the accusation is.

We refuse to shell out even a few dollars for The Globe, so we can't tell you all of the item's accusations — perhaps you have a copy? — but here's the article's blurb:

PRESIDENT Barack Obama is caught up in a new gay sex and drug scandal - and his loving wife is heartbroken, sources tell GLOBE in a blockbuster world exclusive. Find out all the details of the letter Michelle Obama received from the MAN who claims to be her husband's lover - and how America's devastated First Lady is fighting back against a shocking new tell-all book. It's must reading!

Let us translate:

• "a new gay sex and drug scandal" = A made up scandal we pulled from a hat, which was scribbled on a piece of paper alongside "another woman" and "secret S&M fetish"

• "the letter Michelle Obama received" = We punched out a few lines on an old Brother typewriter, addressed it to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, and reprinted what we wrote

• "the MAN who claims to be her husband's lover" = A pseudonym for a staff editor assigned to manufacture this ridiculous scenario

• "a shocking new tell-all book" = There is no book. Not even a book deal. Or a manuscript. Just a catchy title for an invisible book and this article

link

ghent said...

I didn't say anything about Heath yesterday, but you did get one thing right - I am not a big fan of Heath Ledger at all. He was a superb actor, but he was also a flaky substance abuser with closeted bi-curious tendencies, and he ran away from Jake as fast as his homophobic legs could take him after BBM.

Oh, and by the way, Heath didn't need a blonde beard to support him. Michelle's brown hair and fertile womb were sufficient.

Once again, wrong author but the right message. Not surprising.......

Anonymous said...

Scarlett's husband????

Why are you surprised?

Anonymous said...

and he ran away from Jake as fast as his homophobic legs could take him after BBM.

Huh? Do you have evidence?


Michelle's brown hair and fertile womb were sufficient.

Dude, did you follow Heath pre BBM? He and Watts split reportedly because he wasn't ready to settle down and have kids. I don't think he planned the child with Michelle. He even said in the Rolling Stone interview when asked that M. wasn't planned.

Heath had a history of hooking up on set. Lisa Zane, Naomi Watts, Michelle.

aww said...

Jack and Ennis on the Gay Wedding cruise

Anonymous said...

Gay Wedding cruise, cute but they forgot the penguins!

Anonymous said...

"he was also a flaky substance abuser with closeted bi-curious tendencies"

Thanks Ghent - bi-curious - excellent! - a new term, for me -

Anonymous said...

Gay Wedding cruise, cute but they forgot the penguins!

Check out the first window - penguins?

Anonymous said...

Heath ran away from Jake? Was this before or after he asked him to be his child's godfather?

Could you offer some evidence on the bi-curious tendencies?

Heath didn't need to fake being straight. You could probably fill a stadium with all of the women he had slept with. The guy was sex on legs.

Ghent, why don't you tell us the real reason you don't like Heath. The reasons you offered don't make any sense and read like a smokescreen for something else.

Anonymous said...

ghent said "flaky substance abuser with closeted bi-curious tendencies,"

You say it like theres something wrong with it. Trying stuff out (and more than twice), partying, taking chances, exploring lifestyles, being secretive, sexual adventures, being unsure..its all a part of life especially in one's 20s. Or are you so old, uptight, have amnesia about your own experiences, or too afraid to get out there and try things, that makes you so judgemental about people who are?

Anonymous said...

Heath fell in love very quickly and fell out of love just as quickly. I think he fell out of love from Michelle pretty fast. Michelle, OTOH, was crazy about him and IMO pulled the "accidental pregnancy" baloney. I don't think that made Heath very happy. Remember his unwillingness to settle down and start a family with Naomi Watts? And that's the woman he seemed much more in love with then with Michelle. Of course he loved Matilda when she was there. But it was no surprise to me he and Michelle split.

Anonymous said...

"Check out the first window - penguins?"

Yeah you're right but man thats a bad drawing, it has mostly background in it. Needs more penguin LoL. And why is one with a pink bow and other with a blue bow?!

Anonymous said...

And why is one with a pink bow and other with a blue bow?!

"Don't ask "So are you the guy or the girl?" Do ask about gay sex."

Anonymous said...

"IMO pulled the "accidental pregnancy" baloney."

I agree BUT why when a guy is worried about it, why doesn't he use a condom. And off topic, but "accidental pregnancies" between people who are together not very long, aren't they supposed to be using condoms/safe sex for at least 6 months?! AIDS doesn't exist anymore? [ok rant over.]

Anonymous said...

5:36, most of Heath's previous girlfriends were much older then Heath... Lisa, Heather, Naomi and non of them pulled the oldest trick and Naomi REALLY wanted a baby with him. He probably didn't expect a then 23 year old with a career ahead of her to pull that trick. Even though she (Michelle) was 23, she herself said she had sex since 14 and had many partners, so she wasn't naive to be careful. Of course it is possible it was an accident on both sides, but I doubt it.

Anonymous said...

^^Oh and they most likely did a blood test, so they could just use the pill. I heard before you go to shoot a movie you have to go to a doc for a check up and blood test too, so they probably did it before doing BBM anyway.

Anonymous said...

Thank you 5:27. Whatever issues Heath may have had, he seemed to have had them under control or conquered by the time he died.

As for the baby, who knows exactly how that came about, the important point is that he obviously loved his daughter and cared for her.

And none of this negates the fact that he was a brillant actor, a creative artist, and a gorgeous, sexual magnet.

As much as I like Jake, neither he nor Austin can compare.

Anonymous said...

"so she wasn't naive to be careful."

Guys need to be proactive and protect themselves not rely on the girl. In the end when it happens 95% of the time they have noone to blame but themselves.

Anonymous said...

Guys need to be proactive and protect themselves not rely on the girl. In the end when it happens 95% of the time they have noone to blame but themselves.

What about trusting each other, particularly the girl/woman? ;)

Anonymous said...

She's probably letting her hair go natural so it can be redyed for a movie. Dye on dye does not work well.

Anonymous said...

Who are they in the third pic on the gay wedding cruise? Can't quite tell. Great drawing though. I like Jack and Ennis the best.

Anonymous said...

6:12 Roseann and Kelly, or in the 3rd window maybe John Barrowman and his partner?

Anonymous said...

ghent, you confirmed today what I always believed after receiving threatening and degrading personal messages from you. Yes, you are a heck of an idiot.

Anonymous said...

In the 3rd window - Elton John and David Furnish ?

crotch high-5 said...

Picture of Jake and Penelope among funny pictures with funny captions:

CROTCH HIGH-5-IEST

Jake Gyllenhaal and Penelope Cruz

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: The 2009 Oscars!

Anonymous said...

6:25, don't forget about "spiteful" next to the "idiot".

Anonymous said...

It's hard to say who they are in the third window. But thanks for responding to my question. Either one of those couples or both should be included.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Elton John and David Furnish is correct.

More details about the artwork + Jack and Ennis close-up:

Jack and Ennis on the Gay Wedding cruise + close-ups

Anonymous said...

Who is ghent? DCF poster?

Anonymous said...

Love the Gay Wedding Cruise artwork.

Those Jake and Penelope pics are yummy. :)

Jake said...

That Ryan Reynolds "The Nines" blowjob vid got me all horny.

Jake said...

*calls for pizza delivery*

Anonymous said...

6:46, yes.

Anonymous said...

Jake, I hope the delivery guy will be cute. Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

Who is ghent? DCF poster?
6:46, yes.


OK, can you give us a few details about ghent?

Anonymous said...

Or should I say "Jake, I hope the delivery guy will be gay guy" ?

Anonymous said...

Brokeback Mountain
2005- Best Actor: Heath Ledger
We wouldn't mind Hoffman's win so much if it hadn't deprived Heath Ledger from a much-deserved win for that "gay cowboy movie," Brokeback Mountain. An iconic, star-making performance, Ledger's portrayal of Ennis Del Mar opened the door to big-screen roles like The Joker, for which he is posthumously nominated this year.


No Jake? Jake wasn't gay for pay? :)

Anonymous said...

Katzenberg Leads Fund’s Bid to Close Stars’ Rest Home

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute. I just looked closely at the Jake/Penny shot--he has his ARMS around her--I just thought his right arm was on her hip but now I see that his left arm is around her waist! Whoa. Major flirting. Reese let this happen??? (Hee hee)

Anonymous said...

:)

Anonymous said...

What is it, a trolls holiday today,or what? Never seen it so peaceful and polite - save for one. ;)

wishful thinking said...

Maybe the trolls gave up trolling for Lent?

Anonymous said...

LOL

Anonymous said...

When they heard it was ash Wednesday they thought they heard ass Wednesday so now they're all out celebrating a day named in their honor.

Anonymous said...

LOL

Anonymous said...

I think the few people who are carping about Heath feel threatened.

and the angry mother-in-laws here are not threatened by Jake because they think he has chose to beard with Reese, so to get back at him they throw Heath into the mix to slam Jake and his acting abilities?? Heath was barely mention on WFT. Only when BBM came up, Hardly no one spoke about Heath until it was used to belittle Jake. It's so transparent a blind person can see it. I Like Heath and always will. Liked him before I knew of Jake. Heath had faults just as Jake has faults. Period. It's the jerks here who can't quit Jake, so they attack.

Anonymous said...

He was a superb actor, but he was also a flaky substance abuser with closeted bi-curious tendencies, and he ran away from Jake as fast as his homophobic legs could take him after BBM.

Oh, and by the way, Heath didn't need a blonde beard to support him. Michelle's brown hair and fertile womb were sufficient.

Once again, wrong author but the right message. Not surprising.......

^^ No one wants to mention or talk about this. Thanks for bringing it up. Before and right after the hopla of bbm, Heath seem to distance himself from Jake. I always wondered in the back of my mind, did Heath really love Michelle? Just thought it seemed convenient to hook up with her because of the gay movie and all. It was kind of like "look I really like women". Don't know if it's true, but since we're talking. Jake went it alone, but finally is learning the way of HW. Very sad though.

Anonymous said...

Ay, we spoke too soon. ;)

Anonymous said...

Her name was Lola . . .
She was an A$$hole . . .

Ghent said...

6:25

I consider that a compliment coming from you!

Anonymous said...

"Wait a minute. I just looked closely at the Jake/Penny shot--he has his ARMS around her--I just thought his right arm was on her hip but now I see that his left arm is around her waist! Whoa. Major flirting. Reese let this happen??? (Hee hee)"

Well, if Jake decides to continue bearding, I for one would love it if he chose Penelope over Reese. I always thought they looked great together. That matching dark hair... Penelope is a better actress. Plus, they seem to have more chemistry and fun together...

Anonymous said...

"Wait a minute. I just looked closely at the Jake/Penny shot--he has his ARMS around her--I just thought his right arm was on her hip but now I see that his left arm is around her waist! Whoa. Major flirting. Reese let this happen??? (Hee hee)"

Well, if Jake decides to continue bearding, I for one would love it if he chose Penelope over Reese. I always thought they looked great together. That matching dark hair... Penelope is a better actress. Plus, they seem to have more chemistry and fun together...

Anonymous said...

Not to be slow or anything, but what does, "Crotch high-5-iest" mean?

Anonymous said...

a high 5, with crotches

Anonymous said...

will someone please explain the animus against Ghent? this person has always seemed relatively sane, to me. Ghent was always being blasted on DC.

what kind of nasty personal e-mails does Ghent write? and why?

please discuss.

thank you

Anonymous said...

This isnt a ghent blog LOL

Ghent said...

"This isnt a ghent blog LOL"

It sure isn't, but I love the sturm and drang!

"Ghent was always being blasted on DC. "

All anti-Reekers on DC were blasted. I didn't receive special treatment. The moderators on DC were equal opportunity anti-Reeke-harassers. We were all treated the same.

Ah, anything to distract our attention away from Jake's pathetic closet. Today it's babytile, tomorrow it's Austin-worship, the next day it's the color of Reese's hair, Saturday it will be more J/H fanfic blather.

The one thing we won't be talking about is an end to the fauxmance, an end to his Jake's Hollywood slump, an end to Hollywood homophobia, or an end to Jake's dysfunctional social and family life.

Those backstories, regrettably, will just go on, and on, and on.

Anonymous said...

Heath seemed like the kind of man that always had a woman around. Like most straight men. Jake, being gay, can get by with one every couple of years.

Anonymous said...

This is the same story about fred Leightons in NYC but now it says Reese was there with Jake, picking out rings (LOL). A comment about how they're in love, froma costar in Nailed (no one I ever heard of). She must want a part in Reeses next movie.

Ring story

Anonymous said...

CO-STAR EXPECTS WEDDING BELLS FOR JAKE & REESE

Actress MALINDA WILLIAMS has fuelled reports her NAILED co-star JAKE GYLLENHAAL is set to marry girlfriend REESE WITHERSPOON after confessing she expects wedding bells soon. The 28-year-old Jarhead star and his actress lover were recently spotted ring shopping at New York’s Fred Leighton jewellery store, and his latest co-star insists it’s obvious the couple will be man and wife soon. She tells Life & Style magazine, "I wouldn't be surprised if they get married soon. Reese was on the set a lot. She and Jake are clearly in love.
"They're like two regular, down-home people. They seem very comfortable around each other… It's like they've been together for a really long time - like an old married couple."

Anonymous said...

"man and wife" LOL. More like gelding and shrew.

LOL said...

Shrew: 1: any of a family (Soricidae) of small chiefly nocturnal insectivores related to the moles and distinguished by a long pointed snout, very small eyes, and short velvety fur 2: an ill-tempered scolding woman

Anonymous said...

Babblers are good for something. They posted a youtube of the Jamie Foxx video. The song is good. Jake looks like he doesn't belong. There is a shot of him with a blond which is supposed to look sexy. But when Jake is with a woman, it just doesn't work.

Jake's Penis said...

"But when Jake is with a woman, it just doesn't work."

You got that right, honey.

Anonymous said...

did Heath really love Michelle?

I think he was interested in Michelle at first, but I think mostly she was a rebound for Naomi with whom he broke up just some weeks before the BBM shoot begun.

Jake's Penis said...

I LOVE it when Jake's with a woman! I get to curl up all cozy and warm in my furry little nest all limp and relaxed without a care in the world and finally take a long well-deserved snooze. It doesn't happen very often and believe me after all the hard work he puts me thru night after night and day after day these timeouts are a godsend.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the trolls gave up trolling for Lent?

LMAO!

Anonymous said...

Katzenberg Leads Fund’s Bid to Close Stars’ Rest Home

Bitch.

Anonymous said...

and the angry mother-in-laws here are not threatened by Jake because they think he has chose to beard with Reese, so to get back at him they throw Heath into the mix to slam Jake and his acting abilities??

Jake is bearding with The Chin. Some TBs aren't very impressed with Jake's acting. Deal with it.

Anonymous said...

There is a shot of him with a blond which is supposed to look sexy. But when Jake is with a woman, it just doesn't work.

IHJ - Jake in 'Blame It' Video (Captures)

Blame It said...

The official video for Jamie Foxx's hit single "Blame It" featuring T-Pain, from his third studio album Intuition in stores now.

Cameos from Ron Howard, Quincy Jones, Samuel L. Jackson, Forest Whitaker, Jake Gyllenhaal, Cedric The Entertainer, Morris Chestnut, Clifton Powell, Alex Thomas, Tatyana Ali, Bill Bellamy, and more.

Babblers free link :)
Jamie Foxx - Blame It (feat. T-Pain) video

Toothy's Little Toothy Tile said...

woman = Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Jake's glans said...

vagina = *nightmare*

Anonymous said...

Aww, it would've been great if Bernie Mac was in it too..

YouTube said...

YouTube babblers free link :)

Jamie Foxx - Blame It (feat. T-Pain) video

Austin said...

Jake's Penis: believe me after all the hard work he puts me thru night after night and day after day these timeouts are a godsend.

That little fucker!

Anonymous said...

Jake looks like he doesn't belong. There is a shot of him with a blond which is supposed to look sexy. But when Jake is with a woman, it just doesn't work.

I Blame It on the director! Couldn't they find a cute guy for Jake? After all, he's the real star of the video :)

Blame it on the Goose (goose)
Got you feeling loose (loose)

Anonymous said...

Jake's Penis,

did pizza delivery boy wake you up last night?

Austin said...

Posted on OMG

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

FROM THE ROOFTOPS

"I'm mad as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"
-paddy chayefsky -- NETWORK

"Look out music city, cause here I am and I ain't never leavin!"
-carol heikkinen -- THE THING CALLED LOVE

I am pretty in love with shouting from the rooftops.

Whether it be about revolution, career, dreams, or love, I think people should spend more time shouting from the rooftops.

Directors Sidney Lumet and Peter Bogdanovich nailed it in their movies.

I have yelled from apartment windows in Manhattan, screamed from the tops of tall buildings in Austin.

Lately, I howl like a werewolf in Los Angeles.

Usually from a balcony or deck overlooking all the twinkling lights of Hollywood at night. My newest desire is to shout from a tall building in every city I set foot in.

And I am urging all of you to do the same.

One time I was walking down a dark, quiet street in Manhattan, and out of the sky, I heard...

MAN
I'M GONNA DO IT! I'M REALLY
GONNA DO IT!!

Quit his soul-sucking job and pursue his dream?
Ask a girl to be his bride?

There was so much hope behind those words, that he inspired me.
A man I never saw or spoke to.

Maybe he just finally decided to get new drapes.

Go to the window now. Or the roof. Or climb a tree.
It doesn't matter.
Just get as high as you can and shout as loud as you can.
Whatever it is that you dream about.
Or whoever you love.
Yell it from the rooftops for all to hear.

And do it often.

And for Godsakes, do it at night.

Romance, people. Romance!!!

Somewhere in our film, Lincoln or Mona, or both, must shout from the rooftops. I am going to shout from the rooftops, baby!!!

And I am Lincoln Booth!!!

your faithful steed,
austin nichols

post script: what are all the other films with great rooftop shouting scenes?

Southern Gothic Productions

Anonymous said...

With all of this posting about Lincoln Booth, this movie better be good.

Does anyone know if there's financing for this thing? Has a production schedule been posted? Who's the writer? Who's the director? Who's the producer?

Small things like that?

Anonymous said...

Nick Gray - writer of Pedestrian
Producers - Hilarie Burton (One Tree Hill) and Kelly Tenney

For all details and development check out Southern Gothic Productions blog.

Anonymous said...

Go to the window now. Or the roof. Or climb a tree.
It doesn't matter.
Just get as high as you can and shout as loud as you can.
Whatever it is that you dream about.
Or whoever you love.
Yell it from the rooftops for all to hear.


Did Jake do it?

Anonymous said...

Lately, I howl like a werewolf in Los Angeles.
Usually from a balcony or deck overlooking all the twinkling lights of Hollywood at night.


What the hell is Jake doing to Austin? lol

Anonymous said...

Page Six

TALKING SHOP

WHO says all those Oscar parties are a waste of time? At the bash Harvey and Bob Weinstein threw last weekend, some real business was being done. Leonardo DiCaprio, Robert De Niro and Joe Pesci were huddled by the pool of the Sunset Hyatt Hotel talking about co-starring in an Italian-flavored heist movie. The serious threesome were oblivious to such distractions as Marion Cotillard, Anne Hathaway, Jessica Alba, Dita Von Teese and January Jones.

Anonymous said...

So, is Austin going to take his character's advice and proclaim his love for Jake for all to hear?

Jake said...

WTF? After all the bearding?!?

Anonymous said...

Aha! I thought it was a bit unusual that Reese wasn't there to supervise the ring purchase. A lot of couples do ring shop together. And they even explain the lack of visible passion - they're so comfortable together they're like "an old married couple" now. Lots of back pedaling and fill in the blanks. Well, if they're going to do it, enough dragging it out, do it already. I still think if he was going to beard, Penny would have been a better choice too.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if she went to Uncle Vanya with Jake, but just wasn't photographed? And I hope that Jake was actually at the Oscars ceremony to see Heath win BSA, and to take part in Heath's Standing Ovation, but just wasn't photographed. I hope so, he could do at least that much. :)

Anonymous said...

Don't be silly, Reese wasn't in New York, it's just another made up bullshit story.

Anonymous said...

^^It's getting so tiresome.

Anonymous said...

Boring fauxmance couple = boring fiction.

Anonymous said...

I just think the story was a way to draw attention to this Michelle Williams person. Especially since it coming after the original postings.

Everyone has PR needs.

Anonymous said...

And they even explain the lack of visible passion - they're so comfortable together they're like "an old married couple" now.

Now? LOL
They forgot to mention the small detail about Reeke being like "an old married couple" from the very beginning.

Anonymous said...

:)

Anonymous said...

I just think the story was a way to draw attention to this Michelle Williams person.

*coughs*
It's Malinda Williams.

Anonymous said...

Posted on OMG

"Star Jones, her boyfriend, chef Herb Wilson, and a crew of her homies were reportedly acting a fool at an Oscar viewing party at 1Oak Sunday night. According to both the New York Daily News and Post, the former co-host of "The View" loudly booed Reese Witherspoon's dress and joked that her boyfriend, Jake Gyllenhaal, could do better. Denise Rich and Lynn Whitfield were also at Star's table. When Sean Penn said during his best actor acceptance speech that he was "proud to live in a country that elected an elegant man president," Jones stood up from her table, started cheering wildly and planted a big kiss on Wilson."

link

Zac said...

"I was average. I had a lot of friends but I was not in that ultra cool circle. I was a bit of a class clown. I guess to get through the tedium of the quadratic formula, I thought everyone was fair game. Between self-discovery and the social hierarchy, high school can be the most confusing time of your life." — Zac Efron. [Mirror]

Anonymous said...

People magazine

David Beckham Moves into George Clooney's Villa

How's this for a new reality show: Celebrity Landlord. The star: George Clooney. And the tenant? David Beckham.

The locale isn't bad, either: Italy's Lake Como, where the soccer hunk is currently living in the former Sexiest Man Alive's villa while Clooney is away, PEOPLE has confirmed.

Clooney, 47, recently filmed a March 12 special episode of NBC's ER, while Beckham, 33, has been playing in Italy for AC Milan under a loan agreement with his LA Galaxy team. Hello! magazine, which first reported the sublease, says Clooney and Beckham became friends after being introduced by designer Giorgio Armani at last year's Met Ball in New York.

They grew closer once Beckham moved to Italy, where, the magazine reports, Clooney took the soccer star under his wing.

Jake said...

Clooney took the soccer star under his wing

What about me? *pouts*

Anonymous said...

The 28-year-old Jarhead star and his actress lover were recently spotted ring shopping

lol so absurd how they make up stories. The sad thing is that this is the power that forces Jake to beard.

It's like the psych experiment where the students are secretly instructed to stare at one corner of the blackboard. Eventually the teacher (who is the subject of the experiment) limits himself to that corner of the blackboard.

Anonymous said...

Hello!

Wow - I'll say!

George and David.
Sittin in a villa.
I-L-I-K-E-I-T !

Anonymous said...

Saw the music video. The guys are ridiculous. What is Ron H. doing there?
Have you noticed that the presenters at the TF1 Journal are now black?
There was an old saying, "if you don't have an old person, you ought to buy one". Now, replace "old" with "black".
These guys in hollywood do want to be seen with a black person. Why? Are they blacklisted if they don't?
Who is blacklisting them?

Anonymous said...

What is Ron H. doing there?

Showing his cool side :)

Anonymous said...

10:31, blacklisting? Oh,please. Jamie Foxx was in Jarhead with Jake. They know each other. Just like I am sure that Foxx knows all of the people in the video. Why these specific people were asked is a question that only Foxx or the director can probably answer.

I do think it's an odd amalgam of characters.

It's probably nothing more than one guy asking a bunch of his buddies if they's like to be in his video.

Nothing more complicated than that.

Not everything is some sort of conspiracy.

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