Thursday 5 February 2009

Romeo and Romeo


February 2, 2009

Dear Ted:
Is Grey Goose George Clooney? Love you, love your column!
—Mross

Dear Goose Goss:
Toothy wishes. Really, I think he does.


Dear Ted:
Did you watch Prayers for Bobby? I thought it was a wonderful movie with a powerful message, and it's great that Lifetime airs it, as it'll reach the people who need to see it the most. Sigourney Weaver was amazing, and I love Austin Nichols. It's nice to see you talking about him lately, and I hope you talk about him more. He is talented and dreamy.
—Melanie

Dear Fantasy Land:
Wow-friggin'-woo, is Nichols ever taking part in risqué subject matter lately, this is so intriguing. New, daring leaf?


Dear Ted:
Is Baby Tile old enough to talk? Should Toothy Tile be worried about what he might say to people?
—Vicky

Dear Tattle Tooth:
Yes, very. Consider it a Daddy Fearest in the making.


Dear Ted:
Just to start setting a Valentine's Day mood, I'd like to ask you, what is, in your opinion, the greatest love story in today's Hollywood? Is it Toothy Tile and Gray Goose's endless, complex, beautiful and ever-forgiving love story?
—Miranda

Dear Unrequited Love:
Are you kidding? Toothy's tale is more like Hom-e-o and Juliet—there's nothing great about it. Expect an equally bitter and potentially tragic ending, too. At this point, I'd go with Ellen and Portia.

Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth

Photo by Howard Roffman

1,085 comments:

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Anonymous said...

"Ted is not Ian, what Ian does has nothing to do with Ted."

Personnally I would like to be sure!
There is an undeniable coicidence, Ian started his tooth campain after his claimed chat with Ted!!!

Atticus said...

OK but me don't roll in sandbox me's a digger and me I learn long time you no poop where you sleep. You sound like cat person you better learn dog real quick. Me needs big water bowl and double double martini bowl and lots takeout siamese meat.

Anonymous said...

Ian and Stephen have the same problem or so it seems.

:)

Anonymous said...

There is an undeniable coicidence, Ian started his tooth campain after his claimed chat with Ted!!!

What do you think happened?

Anonymous said...

Not buying the Natalie bearding stuff, especially since she was dating Gael García Bernal when this bearding with Jake and a mogul was supposed to be taking place. But then I don't buy the idea that two people would share the same beard at the same time, but it's fun watching people try to make sense of all this, so I'll just grab another handful of popcorn and keep munching.

Why would you buy it if you buy into the idea Natalie was doing this and that and with this and that person.

But when you break it all down, we only know what we know about them - officially - because we're told via "official" sources through the likes of People magazine and multiple sources.

This is why trying to rationalize even officially sourced timelines is bullshit. Because it's all come from the pen of some industry person who wants you to think that so and so was doing this and that at so and so time.

Anonymous said...

Why are people assuming the woman these two men are alleged to have dated is even an actress? It could be an unknown, a civilian or an industry person each wanted to be seen with, but they also had public girlfriends.

Halperin says Penny dated JG "a few years ago". Could be anyone. The other "Birdie" one might be the same woman Ted refers to in his BI about the coke-snorting girl. I don't think that specified if it was an actress.

There might be all kinds of dalliances going on with people that fans wouldn't know about. We'd only hear what was deceided suitable to make the People magazines.

Anonymous said...

There is an undeniable coicidence, Ian started his tooth campain after his claimed chat with Ted!!!

A genius is born. But still misses the point.

Anonymous said...

Hey Farticus, why don't you speak American like other cats and dogs? & why aren't you looking after The Deity rather than working on your blog id and making cutesy comments? And if you really are who you say you are, that is, a policedog, where is your badge?

Anonymous said...

Why would you buy it if you buy into the idea Natalie was doing this and that and with this and that person.

...because you can't act as a beard for one person, let alone two people, when you are "dating" a THIRD person . Forget the timeline crap, it's absurd whichever way you slice it.

Anonymous said...

What's the point, 4:57 PM?

Anonymous said...

...because you can't act as a beard for one person, let alone two people, when you are "dating" a THIRD person . Forget the timeline crap, it's absurd whichever way you slice it.

Yes, they swore the Earth was flat once. Absurd, IF you live in a non-celebrity logical little bubble of civilian life and times.

If you are only "dating" someone as a celeb you can do anything you frigging well please! Orlando Bloom managed to "date" two different women in practically the same month in a prominent US 'zine and nobody even questioned it or assumed it could be a total bunch of spew.

If you are a celebrity I'm afraid you can get away with it. Logic doesn't even enter into it. Logic is for people in the real, orderly world.

Anonymous said...

...because you can't act as a beard for one person, let alone two people, when you are "dating" a THIRD person.

Of course you can.
All you have to do is accompany some gay to some party, dinner, film screening. Or do you think that all people keep who's dating who track? lol

Anonymous said...

What's the point, 4:57 PM?

Some seem to have this quaint notion that after any magic chat with Ted other people suddenly become like, overcome! with Toothy knowledge, forgetting or ignoring that said people might ALREADY have Toothy stories or knowledge and they are sharing what they know.

Yeah he's probably run this after talking with Ted but big deal? PR men run their stories about fake het hookups after talking with the fauxmance arranger at the office. Coincidence? You thnk? And since that's actually deceiving the public and asking them to pay for stories in magazines that's a whole lot shadier in my view.

HW loves and loathes itself in equal measure.

Anonymous said...

Don’t Miss Tonight’s Online TV Show In Which We’ll Discuss Toothy And The Latest Breaking Stories followed by A Screening of My Film His Highness Hollywood

8pm est at iuctv.com

Who's going to watch Toothy Tile panel discussion tonight?

Anonymous said...

...because you can't act as a beard for one person, let alone two people, when you are "dating" a THIRD person . Forget the timeline crap, it's absurd whichever way you slice it.

A, B, C of HW speed dating:

A/ Date your real partner, under or above radar. Mags need only make vague refs to him being on the scene, nothing serious.

B./ Pretend date your mogul for industry parties. Mogul pays handsomely. Industry people know she has a "real" bf but relationships are transient in HW so they assume mogul is her sugar daddy or she's ladder climbing. No biggie. What do other industry insiders care? It's not their problem either way.

C./ Date your actor publicly for pretty pics. Journalists on speed dial fill in the blanks, cute stories and timelines of events in ass-kissing rags. Events written about need not even have happened. OK! readers never know. The stories, wow man, they sound so real!

Pretty simps if you ask me.

Anonymous said...

Pretty simps if you ask me.

Okay, let's just run with this. In this scenario A. = Dating Gael, B. = Dating Mogul, C. = Dating Jake.

A/ Date your real partner, under or above radar. Mags need only make vague refs to him being on the scene, nothing serious.

And that's where it falls apart, because mags, newspapers and pretty much every online and offline gossip page from A to Z said Natalie was dating Gael. Meanwhile The Jake/Natalie scenario in C. got 0.1% of the coverage Natalie and Gael got, not least because Natalie had her people actually shoot down the story. I think a previous anon was right when they said that the double beard doesn't even need to be an actress. That would actually make much more sense.

Anonymous said...

Natalie had her people actually shoot down the story

Natalie's reps denied her "dating" Jake?

Anonymous said...

If I read the posst correctly, the mogul and Jake were "dating" the same woman not for public approval, but for the industry folks benefit, so to impress the business' money that they were straight.

All this "dating" could indeed have gone completely under the rags and paps radar, and could have been as early as DD days for all we know.

Austin didn't arrive on the scene until filming of TDAT began, and he and Jake didn't become whatever they are until during TDAT PR promotion. It was after that Claire threw Austin out, and Jake and Kiki split with a very loud fight in public. Coincedentaly, Jake was also busy filming BBM. The year, I believe, 2004.

Anonymous said...

Ian's first post on the mogul:

"Even though IUC outed Jake Gyllenhaal yesterday, I’m reserving judgment on this new development until I see more proof. IUC spoke to a prominent West Hollywood man today who claims he was “intimate” with “Toothy” going far as back as 2004. The man, in his mid forties, told IUC he has evidence and is planning to reveal bits soon. This is the fifth time in the last three weeks IUC has been in contact with the man, who used to live in a Beverly Hills mansion before moving to West Hollywood."

Not much of a timeline but...

Anonymous said...

Ian is making shit up based on the TT BI's and using toothytile.com.

The mogal=the HW bigwig TT supposedly slept with, the coke whore=HW actress that had weird sex with TT.

Next= The baby being raised by wolves and the coke whore while TT abd BF work, all tonight!!!!

Anonymous said...

who claims he was “intimate” with “Toothy” going far as back as 2004.

This implies the relationship started in 2004 and lasted ???

Anonymous said...

ID needed
http://www.iheartjakemedia.com/displayimage.php?album=287&pos=0

Anonymous said...

Birdie aka the woman with cracked heels / dirty feet??

Anonymous said...

^^^
ID needed - 2004, Nov 5 - Jake and some man leaving a movie theatre in LA

Anonymous said...

^^^ Jake's hand on his shoulder ... nice.

Anonymous said...

I'm beginning to think that these stories are real. Nothing says 'it's real' faster than a quick departure from the airport and stone silence from the babblers on DC and WDW. Oh boy, this is getting more interesting by the hour. ;)

Anonymous said...

Don't you worry though, your voice has been heard here. Not that it's been accepted, heeded or even mulled. It has prompted many a good belly laughs, though, and, in these hard and uncertain economic times, the entertainment was much appreciated.

February 10, 2009 12:09 AM


:D :D :D Ah how I miss the goode olde dayes!!!

Anonymous said...

"so I'll just grab another handful of popcorn and keep munching."

You better watch it. That Ass fattening popcorn will have your cheeks hanging over that little stool you call a chair. And those jugs you call perky tits are now touching the monitor. Well, live and let live I say. So add some butter to that popcorn and just a tad more mayo on that tripple burger.
Keeping Jake GAY and bitchin about Reeke daily makes one hungry huh?

Anonymous said...

Jake is gay = low maintenance.

Reese is a bitch = makes bitchin easy.

Anonymous said...

WDW and GB never post about TT and it gets deleted on Dc.

Ian is no different than JJ except JJ created more of a buzz on the internet where other blogs picked it up, it doesn't sem to be happeneing this time. It's just being yacked about here,omg and i think IHJ where it's being mocked.

Ian should have started out with original crap not TT crap!!

Anonymous said...

Ssssssshhhhh!

Turn off the lights, and everyone be very quiet!

If we pretend that we're not home, maybe the Babbler will get tired of waiting and go away.

Anonymous said...

*turns the radio off*

Anonymous said...

I'm probably out of the loop but regarding double beard, is this someone who was supposed to have been dating both J and A? Could that be Sophia Bush? By the way she seemed quite nice and didn't seem to be pretending to "date" them, but there was some chatter for while.

Anonymous said...

Oh oops, quiet!

Anonymous said...

Why are babblers still afraid that Jake might be gay?
Reeking isn't convincing enough?

Anonymous said...

"I'm probably out of the loop but regarding double beard, is this someone who was supposed to have been dating both J and A?"

No, the double beard was supposedly dating Jake and the mid-forties mogul.

Anonymous said...

UV, QB and FL .... why are you here?

Anonymous said...

I'm beginning to think that these stories are real. Nothing says 'it's real' faster than a quick departure from the airport and stone silence from the babblers on DC and WDW. Oh boy, this is getting more interesting by the hour. ;)

I think so too, not to mention a stampede by them straight to WFT2, to try to stamp out anything before it makes headway. Hee! I love it, very entertaining!

Anonymous said...

Aren't Jake in Reese in london now?

Anonymous said...

I don't think so. Why are you asking?

Anonymous said...

Waves to the PR minion at 7:13!

Tell me, does it take a BA to get a job like yours, trawling the internet dropping little false tidbits on blogs to clean up your client's image?

Hope they pay you by the blog post, 'cause you've certainly been a busy little bee these past several days. Your fingers must be cramping something fierce!

Anonymous said...

London???

Anonymous said...

Anon. 6:43, your fanfic needs a little work. But that's a good start, a lot of beginning writers refer to their own autobiographical experiences when writing. Don't give up! ;)

Anonymous said...

7:24 PM #1

Last year's London house rent turned into Reeke fiction:

http://www.tmz.com/2009/02/10/reese-and-jake-white-powered/

Anonymous said...

Don’t Miss Tonight’s Online TV Show In Which We’ll Discuss Toothy And The Latest Breaking Stories followed by A Screening of My Film His Highness Hollywood

8pm est at iuctv.com


3 minutes

Anonymous said...

Jake's teeth look like tiles?

Anonymous said...

No, I'm beautiful!

Anonymous said...

*bites fat Canadian flappermouth in the bacon*

Anonymous said...

^^^

arf that's me

Anonymous said...

I always thot the TT name was from doin it doggy style face down on a floor and his teeth scratching the floor tiles.

Anonymous said...

LOL!

Anonymous said...

well then that's our boy, he's seen alot of cold bathroom floors, so he sez.

Anonymous said...

like a bathhouse floor, gym steam room floor, bathroom floor, places that have tiled floors

Anonymous said...

So, that's all this Ian guy said, that Jake was dubbed Toothy Tile because of his toothy smile?

That's IT?

Anonymous said...

Ian is an idjet and belongs in an idjet bin.

Anonymous said...

I can see a bottom like Toothy chewing at the tile LOL

Anonymous said...

If I wanted an editorial,8:52, I'll watch Rachel Maddow.

Could someone please just post what was said, without biased imbelishments?

Please?

Anonymous said...

"If I wanted an editorial,8:52, I'll watch Rachel Maddow."

Busted!

Anonymous said...

Don’t Miss Tonight’s Online TV Show In Which We’ll Discuss Toothy And The Latest Breaking Stories

In case you didn't watch TT discussion ...

Ian-Halperin-2009-02-10.mp3

Ian-Halperin-2009-02-10-part-2.mp3

Anonymous said...

Could someone please just post what was said, without biased imbelishments?

MP3 should be verbatim enough :)

Anonymous said...

And if we don't have the time to listen right now...?

Just a quick overview, bullets, anything?

Anonymous said...

No names, no details, Jake sucks in bed with women, Reeke is fake.

Anonymous said...

Oh, he really sucks, like in *sucks*? *Dreams about it*

Anonymous said...

They don't have cocks! Duh!

Anonymous said...

"And if we don't have the time to listen right now...?"

And if we don't have time to record verbatim the program for you?

Who was your servant, last year?

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU, 9:33!

Assuming that the Jake outing is still developing, according to Ian at least?

Anonymous said...

Yes.

Anonymous said...

Wasn't asking for a word by word transcription, just a quick overview, which someone was kind to take the 25 seconds to help another human being.

Don't normally say this, but, fuck off, 9:38.

Anonymous said...

You know, what's the point of living... if you don't have a dick?

Anonymous said...

ian's got nothin'. bummer. i was actually starting to get excited over this one. he talks in circles and he sounds drunk.

Anonymous said...

You started it, 9:42, with your snotty comment. honi soit qui mal y pense. or, pie in the face back attcha.

Anonymous said...

Golden Shower Girls

Anonymous said...

honi soit qui mal y pense =

honey, it's not so bad not to have a penis.

Anonymous said...

That's on my coat of arms.

Anonymous said...

*crickets*

Where are all the Babblers telling us that Ian is full of shit, just regurgatiting Ted and that Jake is bi?

Don't tell me they've been silenced?

Anonymous said...

Um, how can you be a "Babbler" if you believe that Jake is bi?

If you think Ian's "relevations" are going to silence anybody's beliefs (one way or another), you are dreaming.

Unless he names the sources (especially the male sources), or provides pictures, so this story can go mainstream, he will go the way of JJ.

Anonymous said...

well, i'm not a babbler. i actually want to believe ian because i'm tired of, but can't stop following, toothy and just want this dance to end already. it's just hard to believe a guy who doesn't offer up much in the way of new evidence.

Anonymous said...

Um, how can you be a "Babbler" if you believe that Jake is bi?

^ It's official. You need people to fuss with.

Anonymous said...

10:43, What???

Anonymous said...

"... it's just hard to believe a guy who doesn't offer up much in the way of new evidence."

All the evidence you need is Jake's hasty retreat from LA. ;)

Anonymous said...

Coincides nicely with Maggie and Peter's play officially opening Thursday night in Manhattan.

Anonymous said...

"Coincides nicely with Maggie and Peter's play officially opening Thursday night in Manhattan."

Exactly. What a coincidence!

Anonymous said...

Well if he turns up Thursday, we'll know he had a legit reason to leave town. It's a very small theater. Hard to miss him if he is there. Maybe he will text Reese throughout their performance.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he will text Reese throughout their performance.

Yeah like how 9:29 demanded, giving her a quick overview and bullets and what's being said.

Anonymous said...

Here’s the summary of Ian Halperin’s show. He answered questions:

- Where is the proof? He said his sources are “very strong” just like Ted’s.

- He said he got the story of Toothy Tile through a friend of his in LA. An actress friend originally contacted him about that. He thinks Ted did a fantastic job with the blind item over the years but Ian thought it was time to reveal everything about Toothy. He’ll have a couple more posts about Toothy in the next coming days. He is going to give the conclusive proof that everyone is looking for. He knows that some people are sceptical, a lot are supportive of Toothy, but Ian thought it was time to out Jake. It’s been so long and he got away all these years hiding behind this blind item. He then said the same as his outing ethics post, about kids having heroes to look up to.

- About Toothy and Austin: Ian said that yes, a lot of people say that Toothy and Austin are definitely an item.

- Is Ted done with the Toothy blind item? Ian said That is up to Ted. He’d be very surprise if Ted does more, but Ted is a master of reinventing things so it’s possible.

- What does Toothy Tile mean? Jake’s teeth look like tiles when he smiles. His smile is distinctive.

- Is Ted ticked off? Ian says Ted is a class act and he thinks that he is not ticked off but relieved that the story finally came out. He’d be very surprised if Ted was still angry. He said Ted is the best, the king of the bloggers, long before Perez Hilton, Dlisted and Page Six.

- Did Ted pass the Toothy legend on to Ian? He says he won’t tell about that. Ted is a class act and if he wants to reveal it, is up to him. Whatever Ted told Ian in the past or emailed him, is between Ted and Ian. He’ll never betray Ted’s confidence.

- Does Reese know that Jake is Toothy? Absolutely she does. 100%. Ian has friends who are friends with Reese and she heard all the Toothy rumors. Jake knows too. Jake actually jokes about them quite a bit.

- Is Jake bisexual or gay? There were at least 2 women in his investigation who admitted they had sexual relations with Jake. One of them said he was not the best lover but that she did confirm they had sexual relations. Another one said they had hot sex. Ian hasn’t revealed her yet because he is trying to corroborate all her evidence. A third woman he interviewed (the first one he posted as “Penny”) said they barely kissed and they never even touched. So it’s difficult to know what really went down with this guy. But Jake definitely had sexual relations with men. He seems to prefer men by all accounts. Ian has tracked down another male who he’ll probably interview this week and will reveal the transcript of the interview on the blog. He is trying to get more corroboration and evidence from him. Ian said this is very delicate stuff. You just can’t make wild accusations against people and just out people. He said he does a lot of research. He has a team who helps him. He thanked his team for doing over time this week trying to get to the bottom of this. They are on a mission because they feel that every celebrity and athlete has to come out and be role models.

- About giving names: He is going to give names as this story progresses. He wants to have more people on board, create more awareness and bring it out into the open properly. He said he worked 25 years in this business.

- Has he heard from lawyers? What’s the legal status of his claims? He said he can back up everything he says. He’s been through this many times before. He is very familiar with the US libel law. He’ll spend every dime he has to defend himself from anyone who pursues him.

- Is there a Baby Tile? Ian is going to talk next week about baby tile.

- About the accusations that he can’t be taken seriously and he just stole Toothy from Ted and has no proof: Ian respects Ted and says he is great. He said that everybody is entitled to an opinion. His sources are credible and they stand by their stories. He interviewed dozens of people in this case. He only printed a couple so far. They do things with diligence and they don’t print things randomly, and to stay tune for more.

- What about Reese? Ian thinks it is a pre arranged relationship and there is nothing much to it. He thinks they both have other people on the side. A lot of people close to them have express doubts.

- What is in it for Reese? She does need the publicity of a relationship with Jake. Reese and Ryan had a turbulent relationship. Something happened there and he thinks Jake and Reese were just together and right for each other at the right time. That is exactly what happened and that is all there is too it.


Other topics he talked about:

- Oprah. He and his staff worked for 15 months on this story and they have conclusive confirmation.

- Chris Brown, if his career is toast.

- Country music, Kenny Chesney being in the closet

- Gay athletes, Alex Rodriguez is bi.

- Brad pitt is bi. Brangelina have an open relationship.

- Rappers, he recommended the book about gay rappers.

- Justin Timberlake and Leo Di Caprio, he said he can’t reveal anything yet and to stay tune. He is still working on these stories.

- Tom Cruise is gay. His marriages are arranged. Katie wants out but Scientology has her secrets.

- Jennifer Aniston. Ian is convinced the relationship with John Meyer is a charade and he wonders about both of them. There are lots of rumors about John Meyer in Hollywood.

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