Tuesday, 14 April 2009

10 Reasons a Bike is Better than a Boyfriend

Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols
April 13, 2009


The top ten reasons a bike is better than a boyfriend:

10. He always follows your directions.

9. He doesn’t care if you ride more than one bike.

8. You can always add performance-enhanced upgrades.

7. He doesn’t complain about being tired if you want him to go faster.

6. It’s a good thing if he’s full of gas.

5. He naturally vibrates without extra accessories.

4. He only whines if something is actually wrong.

3. He can take you from zero to "Oh, my God! Oh my God!" in 3.4 seconds.

2. He doesn’t worry if his engine isn’t the biggest you’ve ever ridden.

1. You’re guaranteed to get off at least once at the end of every ride!

More photos: IHJ

1,842 comments:

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Anonymous said...

"Busy Phillips was there? So both of Matilda's godparents were in the same place at the same time?"

Yes. Small Hollywood.

Anonymous said...

Page Six

PHOTOS TO KEEP

JOEL Schumacher is a good sport. The "Batman & Robin" director was in Times Square the other day filming scenes for his new flick, "Twelve," starring Kiefer Sutherland and Chace Crawford, when two 20-something tourists walked up, asked him to take their picture and handed over a digital camera. "They were clueless," a source told us. "But Joel was very gracious and took seven or eight snaps of them, then went back to directing. The girls had absolutely no idea who he was."

Anonymous said...

Posted on OMG by TR

I see a lot of posts about Austin's position on Jake and Reese's relationship and although I don't have any particular insight into this situation I would imagine that Austin is as invested in Jake's straightening as anyone. He is just starting out and if he comes out of the closet now he may as well find a new career. I have a friend who did two TV series in the 90's and other work and was out and he finally went behind the scenes because he was basically told he wasn't going to get anywhere unless he changed his ways. Austin seems ambitious he obviously took DC because he wasn't getting movie offers. He is straightening out his reputation just like Jake. I don't see him being the frustrated victim standing by waiting for his boyfriend. "Straight" Jake takes the pressure off of Austin and lets him focus on his career. Horrible way to live no doubt but most people in Hollywood will do A LOT worse to make it.

Austin said...

Austin Nichols Journal

A clip and some screencaps from the premiere of Glory Road in NYC, January 5, 2006.

If you want to take a good look at The Ring ...

Anonymous said...

The Ring is so gay! :)

Ted said...

Dear Ted:
Adam Lambert is so hot! My friend says he's not going to win Idol because straight females won't vote for him anymore since he can't be the object of their fantasies. Says who? This straight female still fantasizes about being the one to "turn" him. I mean, who cares, I wouldn't have had a chance of hooking up with him anyway. Do you like him? I think he's going to be Idol's biggest star ever!
—adam'slamb

Dear Idolizing:
Keep fantasizing about your sexual powers when it comes to gay men. And hey, did we miss the episode where Adam (our fave) outed himself? Damn TiVo!

Ted said...

Dear Ted:
If you are lying about Rob/Kristen/Michael for hits, you do realize that your credibility will be shot forever? You and Lainey are singing different tunes, and only one of you can be right. Hope you aren't lying 'cause you are greedy for hits!
—Ashley

Dear Gluttonous Gossip:
I trust my sources implicitly. I sleep well at night (sometimes dreaming of musky Rob!).

Gerard said...

This report calls Jennifer Aniston "lovelorn" and "notoriously unlucky-in-love" but explains that she has "set her sights" on Gerard Butler, which is "cause for renewed optimism." What does all this really mean? It's simple: They're going to be in another movie together. [Daily Mail]

Anonymous said...

If anyone doubts that Coachella wasn't in add of pr, there are now a staggering 106 pics of J&R at IHR&J, plus additional Reese in bikini shots (you really don't want to go there). Suppose you have to take so many to ensure a 'killer' shot such as this.


the beautiful couple Gosh I wish I could look as gorgeous as Reese.

no Reeke said...

Kate Hudson turned 30 with a "star-studded" bash on Friday night, but Owen Wilson wasn't there. Who was? Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Justin Timberlake, Matthew McConaughey, Tobey Maguire, Jessica Alba, Gwyneth Paltrow, Gwen Stefani, Eva Mendes, Zach Braff and, of course, Cher. [People]

Anonymous said...

1:06, lol. Thanks for the warning! :)

Anonymous said...

^^ Not surprised, Reeke have found their true level and are now hanging out with Jared Leto and the Hoff.

Anonymous said...

^^I meant 9:16. Sorry! :)

Anonymous said...

Sorry here's another classic Reekella pic.

Jake dreams of Austin, Reese, not for the first time masturbates

Anonymous said...

"there are now a staggering 106 pics of J&R at IHR&J, plus additional Reese in bikini shots"

Yeah I don't get it, why they have the Reece bikini shots when only a tiny side of Jake's face on the far right of the frame is shown, WTF? IHJ really is IHR&J, soon to be IHR&bf.

106 pics, shit. No other celebs even got 20 pics. Reeke = overkill

Anonymous said...

In the bikini pics, what the hell is that smirk on her face? She looks like a Chimpanzee!

Anonymous said...

Reekella loves making ugly faces.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Reeke have a resident Pap who they hire for the day and abuse as they wish!

Now it's 118 said...

Current Douchella Reeke pic count: 118

resident Pap said...

Thank God, no eggs this time!

Anonymous said...

Coachella got the dreaded Reeke Infection!

Anonymous said...

Jake flipping the bird about somethingIs Reese preggers?!?

Anonymous said...

And no kicking & spitting!!

Anonymous said...

Reeke preggers?!? How long has it been? 2 years? Can't be a human baby must be some alien pod!

Anonymous said...

Reese has the same bloated stomach for years. It was hot on Saturday so she didn't wear her body shaper underwear.

Anonymous said...

Blimey.. neither did Jake

booze bloat?

Anonymous said...

LOL

Anonymous said...

Well 118 photos have convinced me! I will not be seeing any of Jake's new films.

Anonymous said...

Busy Phillips was there? So both of Matilda's godparents were in the same place at the same time?



I can't believe there was enough room for both Busy's and Reese's chins.Ew.

Anonymous said...

Reese didn't notice Jake's fly was unzipped all the way down when she was standing opposite him in those first Coachella pics. Lovers always check out at each other's sexy parts in clothes. Another reason to scream FAKE.

Anonymous said...

Yes, but Jake asked who's Matilda. He doesn't recall anyone.

Anonymous said...

Sorry but that plaid dress is fucking awful!

Anonymous said...

Yes, but Jake asked who's Heath. He doesn't recall anyone.

Anonymous said...

Yes, but Jake asked who's Michelle. He doesn't recall anyone.

Anonymous said...

Yes, but Jake asked what's BBM. He doesn't recall anything.

Jake said...

"Well 118 photos have convinced me! I will not be seeing any of Jake's new films."

Aww, don't be like that!

Anonymous said...

"Well 118 photos have convinced me! I will not be seeing any of Jake's new films."

Don't worry Jake, they've got over a year to change their mind.

Anonymous said...

Jake, why should we watch your films when the biggest smoke and mirrors acting role of your life is taking place right here?

Jake said...

Bacause I'm beautiful and talented! And my movies are great!

Anonymous said...

I won't be changing my mind. Even when I see Jake by himself I still see the Chin. I really couldn't stand two hours of that.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't give those smug bastards the satisfaction of getting my hard-earned dollars for any of their movies.

Anonymous said...

Clooney was in tv. He left to get into film. Jennifer Anniston was in tv. She's trying to get into film. People pay more attention to the Oscars than the Emmys. Most people and actors consider film more prestigious than tv.

Bombs or not, you don't really think Jake or Austin wouldn't give their nuts to be George Clooney? Please.

Anonymous said...

"Bacause I'm beautiful and talented!"

Sorry Jakey, you look like a bug eyed Basset Hound!

A little good news said...

A poll in New York State shows likely voters support gay marriage 53% to 39%."support is strongest among women and voters under the age of 34...

Overall, every region in the state supports the idea of having the Senate pass the measure."

11 out of 118 said...

Pics: 118

Reeke looking at each other: 11

bikini/lounge chair: 5
deciding on food: 5
while walking: 1

Jake said...

Not my fault! My shrink recommended to look at that face as little as possible.

Anonymous said...

"A poll in New York State shows likely voters support gay marriage 53% to 39% support"

Interesting: "While voters said they want to see the state Senate approval Paterson's gay-marriage program bill, (53-39), his popularity and job approval numbers have maintained their downward spiral."

Anonymous said...

OT but look at the WTF expressions on Zanessa's faces when they realize the guy who owns TMZ is sitting next to them, LOL

Anonymous said...

Jake loves his beard, and he's not giving her up. He knows Austin isn't going anywhere so he has his stable sex outlet. He has the personal situation he wants, and we will see what progresses with his career. He's a young man, and Jake knows that film is a crap shoot. Actors get hot and cold all the time. I am sure he is in this for the long haul.

Anonymous said...

"Jake loves his beard"

Yeah that's why he's aged so fast in the last 2 years, gotten wrinkles, lost fans and is just bursting with happiness when he's with her.

Anonymous said...

oh please, 10.47, don't start that crap again !

Anonymous said...

10:52, that what you want to believe you see, but I'll bet that's not what Jake sees. You know your projection is not Jake's (or everyone's). Like everyone, he looks really great on some days, good on others, and not so good on others.

Anonymous said...

OT but look at the WTF expressions on Zanessa's faces when they realize the guy who owns TMZ is sitting next to them, LOLThey better be nice to him!

Anonymous said...

OT but look at the WTF expressions on Zanessa's faces when they realize the guy who owns TMZ is sitting next to them, LOL **** They better be nice to him!

Anonymous said...

"that what you want to believe you see"

Then can someone please tell me what this pic looks like? I must be projecting wrong.

Anonymous said...

^^Tired, but but happily fulfilling an obligation for a cause he believes in anyway. :)

Anonymous said...

"but I'll bet that's not what Jake sees."

Jake sees a midget chimp that gives him nightmares. No wonder he looks like shit!

Anonymous said...

""that what you want to believe you see"

Then can someone please tell me what this pic looks like? I must be projecting wrong"

This pic is illustration of a stock expression of Jakie. Almost indisguishable from other pictures in similar contexts.

PoP said...

Jake Gyllenhaal, Ab-solutely Cheezy

Maybe because he was "Donnie Darko" I just always expected more from Jake Gyllenhaal. My faith was shaken, though, as he grew out of his gawky phase, buffed up and started palling around with Lance Armstrong. Sure, he's to be commended for his work in "Brokeback Mountain," but it's been four years -- four long years of pix like this and, worse yet, this one with third musketeer Matthew McConaughey.

So it should come as no surprise that a recently released publicity still from Gyllenhaal's upcoming movie, the video game-inspired "Prince of Persia," has been added to the collection here at the Gallery of Regrettable Publicity Stills. While Jake is probably trying to capitalize on the ab-fab success of Gerard Butler's look in "300," going for the Leonidas look, he comes off looking more like an updated "Beastmaster." And despite the fine acting done by Marc Singer in that classic fantasy flick, Marc Singer is no Leonidas.

So join me in welcoming Jake Gyllenhaal to the gallery, where his stringy hair, cultivated beard and manly pose will live forever.

link

Anonymous said...

Cool!

Beastmaster

Anonymous said...

"Jake Gyllenhaal, Ab-solutely Cheezy"

Oh. :( I hope for Jake the movie will be better than some expect. Ever since he's with Reese he made so many personal and professional mistakes. But I guess he's glad he's in the company of A-lister Chin and has a franchise that he always wanted. Oh well.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Yeah, right! LOL

Anonymous said...

^^What do you mean? He obviously pats her fat ass.

Anonymous said...

I don't think so.

Anonymous said...

More of an asshole poke that a pat i'd say. Maybe Reese had just whispered 'Jake sweety, my haemoroids are aching again' and Jake gave them abit of a scratch. Reese had stuff like that written into the contract you know.

Anonymous said...

ewwww

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it was a poke, not a pat. How hilarious. First sign of affection we see is Jake fingers up her asshole?

Discuss.

Jake said...

*No more daydreaming about Austin!*

Anonymous said...

Nice touch that it's done in front of the camera for the paps. Jake is really committed to make this fake bearding look real.

Anonymous said...

IDK his fingers are quasi in her ass. If she's only a beard, she sure is as commited to make it look real. I don't like my bf touching my butt in public let alone poking it like Jake did. It's emabarassing.

Anonymous said...

This is the sort of playful behaviour I would have expected to see right from the start - the ones at the concert, in my experience anyway, typical couple-y behavior. If you knew your every move was going to be photographed, even the most uninhibited among us might think twice. I think his fly down is kinda cute. ;)

Anonymous said...

Typical couple-y behavior? LOL!

Anonymous said...

LOL all you want, but it's true.

Anonymous said...

Don't be silly.

Anonymous said...

1:00 PM, you can believe what you want, but don't call people silly for having a different opinion.

Anonymous said...

OK, 12:55 PM opinion is silly :)

Anonymous said...

I'm female and my gay guy friends pat me on the butt and check out my boobs and try to cop feels all the time. I know its just them being friend-affectionate and having a good time, nothing more. I can totally see Jake doing that with a lot of people, that it's just what it is, not a come-on. Remember when he did SNL and a husband in a husband-wife singing duo (I think it was singing) wrote in his blog that Jake patted him on his butt backstage?

Anonymous said...

It's fun, for any kind of couple, but I admit knowing there were photographers around would put a damper on things. :)

Anonymous said...

Then at least he seems comfortable enough with her to finger her through her dress. If they disliked each other, I doubt they'd be comfortable with it.

Viva Voce said...

Jake Gyllenhaal grabbed my ass!

Anonymous said...

Jake's either asexual or bisexual I think.

Anonymous said...

They were walking and she was talking to Plaid Lady. Reese was probably bitching about something, that's probably why Jake touched her on her rump, like "Hey take it easy."

Anonymous said...

Gay as a goose :)

the husband said...

"Remember when he did SNL and a husband in a husband-wife singing duo (I think it was singing) wrote in his blog that Jake grabbed him on his butt backstage?"

I was two days in the state of shock!

Anonymous said...

I don't know why is so difficult to believe Jake is actually puting it into the Chin.
The concept of bearding doesn't necessarily means the parts have no sex at all. Look at Trabolta: he had kids with his beard and has a "traditional" family life.

I think Jake is 100% gay, i thought he might be bi but Reeke made me change my opinion.

I also think Jake is really trying to achieve a future heterosexual life with this or some other woman and keep dating boys in private.
Good luck, sweet Jakey! we'll still be watching you...

Anonymous said...

Two years of reeking and 10.000 Reeke pictures is more than enough proof, for me, that there is no sex.
Not even an enjoyable friendship.

Anonymous said...

1:20 he needs luck, because ever since he's with her, he became a famewhore, back in the day it was obvious he likes attention, but now with her it's downright famewhoring and PoP I'm not really looking forward to. I think he needs to change something in private life and look for interesting projects again for work.

Anonymous said...

1:20 How can you think Jake is 100% gay but having sex with Reese? 100% gay but trying to achieve a heterosexual life? What you said doesn't make sense.

Anonymous said...

So does he stick his fingers in her asshole for luck? that's a new one.

Anonymous said...

"1:20 How can you think Jake is 100% gay but having sex with Reese? 100% gay but trying to achieve a heterosexual life? What you said doesn't make sense."

Happens all the time. On what planet do you live?

Anonymous said...

"100% gay but trying to achieve a heterosexual life? What you said doesn't make sense."

Ever heard about closeted gays?

Anonymous said...

1:35 PM, but what is with John Travolta, isn't he gay too, but fathered two children with Kelly Preston?

Anonymous said...

1:20How can you think Jake is 100% gay but having sex with Reese? 100% gay but trying to achieve a heterosexual life? What you said doesn't make sense.


^^

I'm 1:20 and i was going to answer this but 1:37 did it for me.

Anonymous said...

1:35 PM

About life in the closet - try reading real life stories, some emotions and experiences can't be imagined by one who is not gay.

Anonymous said...

I looked at the ass pat vid a few times. Yes its an ass pat, just a rub high up towards the top between the cheeks. Not a grab. Its exactly the kind of thing my gay friends do to me. (Actually they do a lot worse LOL). Jake is just a touchy-feely-huggy kind of person, I honestly don't see anything sexual there, it's more like a little boy tugging at his mother's skirt.

Anonymous said...

Jake is a closeted gay but he is not a gay in denial.
He knows what he wants and how to get it in private.He has been in HW all his life,he feels secure in there not like the beginners outsiders that need time to get used to the codes of the industry.
Bearding is just a child's play for him and Reese is no novice either.
I don't wish them good luck because i don't like them together but i do think they'll get a lot of benefits with their charade,no matter if they end up getting married or if they split soon.

Anonymous said...

Ah, those gays! :)

Anonymous said...

It can be affectionate gesture too - but there's no way an ass pat/grab wouldn't be constued as sexual primarily, or of someone who is familiar with their partner's body, either gay or straight, as were the concert pics where they are hugging and close to each other. Her hands are on his to touch him. To me it looks like a subtle squeeze. How long are we going to delude ourselves? The posts get more and more creative.

Anonymous said...

Wow. According to this guy who write for a newspaper, Jake almost got into a fight at the concert. Jeez, what the hell happened to him? http://www.examiner.com/x-7494-LA-Gossip-Examiner~y2009m4d19-Jake-Gyllenhaal--almost-gets-in-fight-at-Coachella-concert

Anonymous said...

2:11 PM

Do you remember those terribly unconvincing Reeke pictures from Rome, Oct 2007?

Didn't Reese put her hand in Jake's back pocket?
Didn't Reese jump on Jake's back (piggy ride)?

Be quiet! said...

Jake Gyllenhaal - almost gets in fight at Coachella concert

Jake Gyallenhaal was with his girlfried, Reese Witherspoon, at the Coachella concert festival in Indio, CA this past weekend. While watching Jenny Lewis perform, Jake apparently couldn't stand to hear all the screaming around him (isn't that what concerts are for?).

At one point, Jake turned around to screaming fans and said, "I'm trying to listen!"

"This is a concert, not a movie," one guy screamed. After Jake called him some vile names, the guy started moving forward as if he was getting ready to hit Jake, but security immediately stepped in.

There's no doubt that Jake Gyallenhaal was acting out of line. However, it must be noted that the sound coming from the speakers was unusually low and people were having a hard time hearing the performance.

link

Anonymous said...

Oooh, Butch Jake!

Anonymous said...

Touchy Jake!

Anonymous said...

Jake should be glad the security stepped in otherwise the guy may have beat his ass.

Anonymous said...

"At one point, Jake turned around to screaming fans and said, "I'm trying to listen!"

He was in the VIP onstage side section so who did he yell at, Busy or that couple behind her?! ~ Btw I saw the ONTD'er pics of the concert. Everyone else was standing normally watching the concert..Reeke was in the front side row doing their Masterpiece Theater hugging demo photo op. Bet the people behind them just loved that, not being able to see. The musicians probably didn't appreciate it either, all the focus was on Reeke doing their performance.

Anonymous said...

"Jake Gyallenhaal was with his girlfried, Reese Witherspoon"

Even in crap articles, Reese's name is always spelled correctly and Jake's gets butchered and fucked up. LOL

Anonymous said...

When Busy sees Matilda she can tell her how much fun it was hanging out with uncle Jakey. Flipping the papz off and almost getting into a fight with a fan.
Matilda is missing a lot of fun. LOL.

Exposed said...

Busy, don't forget the part about Uncle Jakey's open zipper flashing everyone!

Anonymous said...

LOL.

Jake really doesn't need to do movies anymore, he's entertaining us with his weird behaviour. ;)

Anonymous said...

You have to be tolerant of screaming fans at a concert, I think. :(

That one pic in Rome was the only one I though remotely convincing, where Reese had her hand in his pocket, and he had his arm around her.

I don't mind PDA - usually for us civilians, it's rather discreet. I hope I never am in one of those sanitized, politically correct relationship where everybody is afraid of doing the wrong thing, and does nothing! The only thing that keeps me on the fence about J&R is that every move they make is so public!

Anonymous said...

How can you think Jake is 100% gay but having sex with Reese? 100% gay but trying to achieve a heterosexual life? What you said doesn't make sense.Sorry, but you don't seem to understand. Imagine a culture where people with blue eyes are believed to be cursed to Hell. Because of this pervasive belief, no one will hire, work with, or be associated in any way with a person with blue eyes. Even people who do not share the belief refuse to be associated with the blue-eyed dogs because they would lose business "if people found out."

So people with blue eyes wear contact lenses to make their eyes brown. Not because they *want* their eyes to be brown.

And for crying out loud, not because their eyes *are* brown. They aren't. They are 100% blue.

They fake it because they have to in order to survive.

Anonymous said...

A little hos-tile there, Jake. Given' the middle finger a work-out, are you?

Don't know why J's "up yours" gesture to Reese is perceived as lovey dovey sexy.

Dlisted said...

From Michael K:

Afternoon Crumbs

Jakey's beard looking as exciting as a bowl of stale grits - (Popsugar)

Dlisted

Anonymous said...

LOL!

Anonymous said...

Does Jake think showing his middle finger make him look more maculine and dangerous?

Jake said...

"Even in crap articles, Reese's name is always spelled correctly and Jake's gets butchered and fucked up."

Bitches!

Anonymous said...

"Does Jake think showing his middle finger make him look more maculine and dangerous?"

LOL. If so then it's not what he achieved.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the guy was a loudmouth, and deserved it. Most of the time you have to be tolerant, but occasionally there are those who just overdo it.

Want to look masculine and dangerous? This is how you do it! said...

Jason Statham Serious About His Nipple Clamps

"Juice me."

I noticed on the one-sheet for Crank: High Voltage, which opened last Friday, that Statham was hooking up the black battery clip to his tongue, but I had no idea where that other one was going to end up.

towleroad.com

Matilda said...

I swear to god Jake will stab somebody and you mindless sycophants (whom he wouldn't DEIGN to even acknowledge let alone address at an event unless there was self-interest involved) will still defend this little asshole's actions. He's a douche, pure and simple. And a crappy godfather. (Why Heath why??)

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, but turning around and telling someone to STFU is a far cry from hurting someone. We say it here almost every day! :)

Heath said...

"(Why Heath why??)"

I just couldn't quit him. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

I'm just picturing it - sometimes those things can be amusing at outdoor events.

"STFU, will ya, I'm tryin' ta listen here!" ;)

The good girl said...

"I'm sorry, but turning around and telling someone to STFU is a far cry from hurting someone. We say it here almost every day! :)"

As long as I've posted here, I never said to anyone "STFU". I respect everyone's opinion.

Anonymous said...

I think it's the larger picture that's disturbing - temper not under control, forgetting to zip up, goosing his "girlfriend" in public - come on, he's a public figure. This is pretty repulsive.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you haven't, but other people do. I see it frequently. It's not a very polite site at times, but since some of the trolls have left, it's improved.

Anonymous said...

Let's take stick of Jakey's recent behavior, shall we?

He pushes a camera-man at jury--duty
He gives someone the bird at a concert
He gets pulled over by a police office for speeding in LA
He get snippy and almost into a fight with someone at a concert.
He goes to a public event and forgets to zip up his fly.

Does this sound like the behavior of a man in love and happy in his career? Or does it sound like an sexually frustrated and bored poseur in a dishonest relationship with a pathologically manipulative pr-hound, forced to swallow his pride while worse actors get good roles, contractually obligated to keep his mouth shut about just about anything for the foreseeable future?

You decide.

Anonymous said...

I just think it shows that he's human. Unfortunately, every move he makes is photographed and spread over the world. There's no telling how the rest of us act, just because we may be quick to judge and be holier than thou. I think if we were honest with ourselves, we'd admit this. We don't live in a fishbowl like he does.

Anonymous said...

According to the gossip columnist's account he said a lot more than STFU--he called the guy "vile names."

That's a very different nuance than telling someone to be quiet.

Anonymous said...

"(Why Heath why??)"As much as I adore Heath (and that's a lot) there are plenty of pics of him giving the finger, and accounts of him becoming exasperated. You have to give people a break, not carp on everything they do because they aren't behaving the way you would like.

BTW, there's a radio interview on Five Leaves of him that is just brilliant - intelligent, and that wonderful voice.

Anonymous said...

I've been told to STFU here even when i said i liked one of Resse's hats.
But i'm a grown person, i can take it without whining. I rather this instead of all the bland,mellow comments of sites like DC or E&J

it's just a matter of tastes,i suppose ;)

Anonymous said...

^^So would I, really. :)

Ted said...

Caught! Grabby Gyllenspoon and More Hit Coachella

Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon, taking a long-needed vacay from Brentwood coffee runs, headed out to the hotass desert to check out musicfest Coachella.

I think they wanted folks to think they actually sweat from things other than hikes and runs.

The pretty pair brushed off watching headlining act The Killers in favor of grooving to hipster fave Jenny Lewis. Jakey and Jenny used to date way, way back in the day, but Reese must not be much of a jealous lady since she mouthed the words to every song while Gyll-hon wrapped his Prince of Persia biceps around her.

What a sweetie! How perfectly protective, bro! But what was this, a People Who Have Dated Jake Gyllenhaal Convention?

'Cause another J.G. ex at the fest was...

Kirsten Dunst, chain-smoking and texting in the VIP area during Morrissey's set. Jeez, Kiki coulda done that for free at home, right? The recently rehabbed babe was seen drinking, but, like, that rehab trip was for depression, not alcoholism, so it's totally OK 'cause the two are so unrelated, right? K.D. tried her darndest to be antisocial, her eyes only on her BlackBerry, but one gal got K.D.'s attention, that being...
...

Ted's AT

Anonymous said...

4:00 PM, maybe Jake hung out more with Heath than we might think. LOL. ;)

IA about Heath's voice. So sexy.

Anonymous said...

^^Oh Lord, then you've gotta listen to this interview! :)

Anonymous said...

"But what was this, a People Who Have Dated Jake Gyllenhaal Convention?"

Interesting that 2 of his exes were there.

Anonymous said...

The pic of Reeke on TA - she looks like Anthony Perkins playing his mother in Psycho

haha just kidding not

Anonymous said...

I love that Kiki was at Morrissey. :)

Anonymous said...

"I just think it shows that he's human."

What it shows is a pattern of behavior indicative of extreme frustration and unhappiness. Don't take this incident in isolation.

From all indications, Jake has been sitting on his ass since mid-December. There is no indication that he has been writing, directing, producing or even auditioning for anything else (film or theater), and no new firm movie offers have come in. Meanwhile his family is far away and his best friend is nowhere to be found.

I think that the guy is frustrated, bored silly, tired of lying and tired of keeping quiet about everything. And he's approaching the point of diminishing returns with this bearding.

There are many people in the industry who *do not* like Reese at all (actors and directors) and if they think that Jake is going to drag his beard around with him on the film shoot, they won't hire him. Period.

I also think that Disney has some kind of veto power over the kinds of roles he can accept before PoP is released. He is being hamstrung and hog-tied fourteen ways to Sunday, and there's little if anything that he can do about it.

As far as I'm concerned, that is a prescription for acting out and bad behavior.

Anonymous said...

Reese was desperate to play Angelina's role in "Changeling" but Clint wouldn't meet with her.

Anonymous said...

Ent Lawyer in today's Random Photos: Pic of Reeke at concert, Reese is clapping and Jake has his arms in the air. "Jake G wants to turn every song into YMCA."

Anonymous said...

Ent Lawyer in today's Random Photos: Pic of Reeke at concert, Reese is clapping and Jake has his arms in the air. "Jake G wants to turn every song into YMCA."

Ent Lawyer

Anonymous said...

4:19

Don't worry about Jake, he is just fine i'm sure. He doesn't have to wake up in the morning to be at work 9 hours at day. He travels, he goes to concerts and drink cofee. His "gf" for real or not, can't have the luxury of being a major pain in his ass, i'm sure Jake gets all the space he wants when he needs it. If his acting career doesn't work, he'll still have the parents' money. So i don't see too much tears in JG's future.

And,to be fair, Reeke totally imroved their body language since the embarrasing begining at Rome.And Jake is starting to look more masculine.His beauty is no longer the same, but he definetely looks more manly.
OTOH, she looks like a titi monkey as she always had.

Anonymous said...

Reese was desperate to play Angelina's role in "Changeling" but Clint wouldn't meet with her


^^^

Eastwood directed Ryan in that war movie about the flag op pics (the irony) and i'm sure Ryan gave a piece of advice to Mr. Clint

Ryan: "Don't meet with that bitch,old man.I know what i'm telling you..."

Anonymous said...

he'll still have the parents' money sort of agree with you, but aren't his parents broke? Wasn't it reported that Naomi was seriously in debt and that's why she needed to sell the house in LA.

Anonymous said...

Remember that for this people "broke" means having 1 or 2 mansions instead of 4.

Anonymous said...

with regard to the 'near' fight. I think Jake shows all the signs of roid rage. Not constant anger and aggression, but bursts of anger which can't be contained. I'd be surprised if he didn't seriously partake during the build up and filming of PoP (and Jarhead) and is still probably dabbling.

Pity both Austin and Reese (yes and i mean that) if that's the case. No wonder you no longer see him around her kids, she probably doesn't want to expose them to such asshole behaviour.

Anonymous said...

they all went on vacations together,according US weekly

are you calling US W a liar? >:(

Anonymous said...

Us Reekly writes Reeke fiction.

Anonymous said...

fixed link

JJared - Coachella Cuddle

Anonymous said...

Jake is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Whatever he had before Oct. 2007 was so bad that he started bearding to restart his career, but I think that the bearding is now making it difficult for him to get juicy roles.

rags said...

Jake is making a (publicity) fool of himself.

Anonymous said...

It's reminding me of what happened to Ben Affleck. Such a shame because I really thought Jake was the next big thing after BBM. Boy was I wrong.

Anonymous said...

"Whatever he had before Oct. 2007 was so bad that he started bearding to restart his career,"

Jake said that BBM opened doors for him. Rendition was supposed to be an Oscar contender, the script was one of the best around, but Hood screwed up the film. Nailed and Brothers both have great directors, who knows how they'll turn out. And PoP is a franchise and we all know that he wanted an own franchise for a long time. If it is a B.O. hit, no one will complain.

Anonymous said...

I've aleardy said it, out of the living main BBM cast Anne will have the best career for sure. As for Michelle, if Shutter Island turs out good, her profile will rise majorly. Let's wait and see.

Anonymous said...

^^I think what's great about both gals is, they aren't famewhores. Classy and talented women, both of them. :)

Anonymous said...

Yes, they are :)

BI said...

Billy Masters blind item

Could it be that a certain former heartthrob has left his wife for someone of the same sex? Well, there are so many contenders for this one. In the past couple months, three guys on the down low have announced separations. The one we're talking about, however, is a case of life imitating art since he's played gay before - notoriously. Of course, this was before his marriage, before he got famous (well, kinda around the same time)...but after he was pushed back into the closet. What goes in, despite good intentions, must eventually come out. And in and out!

Anonymous said...

"...but after he was pushed back into the closet. What goes in, despite good intentions, must eventually come out. And in and out!"

What? lol

Anonymous said...

Jake said that BBM opened doors for him. Rendition was supposed to be an Oscar contender, the script was one of the best around." The script was pretty bad. I saw the film and the script (along with some poor directing and miscasting, Reese and Jake among them) was one of its prime weaknesses. It was very riddled with insultingly simplistic cliches. Only Peter S gave a decent performance. Just ghastly all around.

Anonymous said...

"In and Out"--film starring Kevin Kline and Tom Selleck.

Anonymous said...

Tom Selleck is gay and divorced.
Kevin Kline is married.

Anonymous said...

6:27 PM, well I know when Jake took on the role in Rendition, I read that the script got pretty great reviews and that it was one of the best around. I'm not lying.

Most reviewers of the movie complained that the director screwed up and Jake and Reese didn't get good reviews either.

Anonymous said...

I liked Rendition. What were the "insultingly simplistic cliches"? I thought it was very cliche and stereotype free.

Anonymous said...

Think the problem with Rendition is that few people really want to spend 90 minutes watching someone get tortured. Sure some people do, but I think that's a whole different type of film making.

Just a case of, wrong film, worng time, wrong cast.

Anonymous said...

I remember on imdb posters were making fun of Reese's role in Rendition. There were threads mocking her "tell me he's ok".

Anonymous said...

6:37, it was insultingly simplistic. At one point, I was waiting for Jake to come out of the casbah wearing a fez.

Anonymous said...

Michelle would have been a better choice for the wife instead of Reese. But I guess Gavin what's his name needed an A-list name to raise the money.

Anonymous said...

Jake was SOO bad in "Rendition." He was great when he was lying on the bed, with no shirt. Then he opened his mouth and the illusion dissipated.

Anonymous said...

"But I guess Gavin what's his name needed an A-list name to raise the money."

Of course.

Anonymous said...

6:53 PM, IA he was miscast, but he looked yummy in that movie. ;)

Anonymous said...

You make it sound like Saw, it wasn't about watching people get tortured, but about the morality of the policy. I thought the script went to great pains to make the point that people are no different than us, especially the kids. Same hopes, dreams. :)

I don't know that he was miscast, but he is a beautiful man. He was beautiful in it. I like Michelle too, I really want to see Shutter Island.

Anonymous said...

^^I'm looking forward to Shutter Island as well. I like most of Scorsese's movies, hope this one too. He rocks as a director.

Anonymous said...

I like most of Scorsese's movies, hope this one too. He rocks as a director.He really does. :)

Anonymous said...

He was definitely beautiful in "Rendition"--probably even more beautiful than in BBM but his acting??? OY VEY! So bad. Just stand there Jake and shut up.

Anonymous said...

:) I really don't know how anyone could be more beautiful than he was in BBM. What I liked in Rendition is that he looked more mature, and very few look better without a shirt than Jake.

Anonymous said...

Although Christian Bale looks great without a shirt too. I liked that sinewy look he had in American Psycho (have only seen pics, not the film). ;) He's a really fine actor too.

Anonymous said...

ah stop being a damn DRAMA QUEEN and move on since you can't stand Jake and feed off the anything negative = Jake attitude. Still waiting for him to fall because he has not come out huh... Pitiful - really pitiful.

:-D said...

"As Susan Boyle's stardom catapults to unknown and unimaginable heights, here is what I fear for the future:

...

The Susan Boyle Movie (Working title: "I Dreamed a Dream") with Susan Boyle played by Hollywood Actress Anne Hathaway in heavy makeup."

Anonymous said...

The funny thing is that most of the Jake sites are filled with angry upset gay fans who look for anything negative about the guy. Then they all follow each other with all the negative comments. Still don't know why they call themselvse fans. Some say they are waiting for a trainwreck. Why? Don't like the guy anymore. Move on to another movie star. Very wierd people on these sites. wondering if all Jake watchers (I won't call them fans) are gay. Did Jake do something to them? Someone please tell.

Anonymous said...

If Jake's angry fans went else where, who would he have left?

Reese fans? Most don't even know how to correctly spell his name. Oh, wait, yes they do! It's Reese's BF.

Right now, Jake needs all the people he can muster, and from the marked volume drop on all sites, except here and OMG, the muster is woefully inadequate.

Anonymous said...

I really don't know how anyone could be more beautiful than he was in BBM."

Actually Heath was just as beautiful--he was absolutely stunning in some scenes. Such a shame and a waste.

Anonymous said...

All the last two years have added up to is Jake is a pussy whipped puppy too afraid to admit he prefers peen.

Anonymous said...

We were talking about Jake, but yes I agree.

Anonymous said...

What's such a shame and a waste is how brilliant Heath was - some of the interviews I hadn't heard, he's amazing in. I didn't mention Heath because we were talking about Jake. What I meant to say was I didn't think that Jake could ever be more beautiful than he was in BBM. Okay now? Jeez.

Anonymous said...

Lately if we mention Heath, someone bitches about it. Can't win, I guess.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he'll look as good in Brothers? But I'm not a fan of POP look.

Anonymous said...

I have a feeling he's going to look amazing in Brothers.

Anonymous said...

Only when it becomes a Heath vs. Jake, or Heath vs. Austin diatribe. That's when it's tiresome.

Want to talk about Heath's beauty?

Please, by all means!

Anonymous said...

You know, I'm the fist to admit that a nice body and stunning smile turns my head. Jake is definitely in the very fine column.

However, a pretty face and chisled abs an actor does not make, and for that, for sheer acting ability Jake falls way behind the likes of Steve Buscemi and Gary Oldman, two men not blessed with looks, but with long, illustrious careers instead.

Anonymous said...

Heath was just gorgeous, even as Joker. You could see that physicality he had. There's no question of his great beauty.

Anonymous said...

"I have a feeling he's going to look amazing in Brothers."

I have the same feeling.

Anonymous said...

I adore Steve Buscemi, and I have always found Gary Oldman sexy and attractive. They are great actors.

Anonymous said...

"Heath was just gorgeous, even as Joker. You could see that physicality he had. There's no question of his great beauty."

Agreed. He had an amazing body and the way he walked was hot and that deep voice with the Aussi accent...

Anonymous said...

Oh, me, too! Mr. Oldman is the reason I went to see "Batman Begins" and the Harry Potter films. Now, there's an actor! Course, I don't have him on my pretty boys screen saver, but each and every movie he graces, I will be there.

Likewise with Steve Buscemi.

Jake should take a lesson from them and concentrate more on his craft than on coffee.

Anonymous said...

Oh Please . . . I agree! :) That first scene in TDK from behind, where he's holding the duffle bag and wearing a mask, you could still see that body.

Anonymous said...

OMG - Gary Oldman is so seriously hot as Sirious Black. HOT! I hope they bring him back. I'll pretty much see anything Gary Oldman is in. That last scene in TDK, he's got so much soul. These fine actors really make TDK what it is. :)

Anonymous said...

I admit, I thought Heath was arrogant and intimidating (I thought I'd never have the courage to approach him in RL), but that's because I didn't know much about him while he was alive, except that he's a very good actor.

Anonymous said...

I was a little intimidated too - he hated being photographed it seemed, and wanted to be private. I think that's better, tho.

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