March 2, 2008
Toothy: Doctor Parnassus?
Doctor Parnassus: Why hello pussycakes. I’ve been expecting you.
Toothy: I’m actually calling on behalf of a friend who’s…having issues.
Doctor Parnassus: Of course you are. You are wise to contact me. Those who play the game do not see it as clearly as those who watch.
Toothy: I’m watching, and it’s killing me.
Doctor Parnassus: As the King — and I mean Martin Luther — said, in the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Toothy: O truth! Where to begin.
Doctor Parnassus: Relax, cherub, close those mournful eyes, free your memories…
Toothy: I remember … I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about that place.
Doctor Parnassus: Ah yes, even repressed emotions have an echo in so much space.
Toothy: When I was out there, I didn’t care. Because I was out of touch. But it wasn't because I didn't know enough. I just knew too much.
Doctor Parnassus: About your friend?
Toothy: Yes, I know too much. Does that make me crazy?
Doctor Parnassus: Possibly.
Doctor Parnassus: Oh lovemuffin. I hope your friend is having the time of his life. Otherwise, I’d tell him to think twice, that's my only advice.
Toothy: I used to do … whatever the voices in his head told me to. Then… one day he said, come on now, who do you think you are?
Doctor Parnassus: Ha ha ha, bless his soul! He really thinks he’s in control?!
Toothy: He does. He says I’m crazy. He says we’re crazy. And that’s he’s running the show.
Doctor Parnassus: Honeybaby, in two words: im possible! Peruse the paradox. In dissociative identity disorder, the ego maintains repression without knowing the repressed. Knowing without knowing. But here, we have knowing with knowing! Of course, the alter ego's coping mechanisms allow superficially normal functioning. But primal repression of bi-ambiguity coupled with intermetamorphosis ultimately leads to depersonalization and dysphoria. Ergo, eventually, loss of control.
Toothy: Bi-ambiguity? You mean 85% straight and looking for beer?
Doctor Parnassus: Well, as one my most loyal patients, Woody Allen, said, "Being bisexual doubles your chance of a date on Saturday night." Let me put it this way: It is what you do when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it. It’s nothing 20 years of therapy won’t fix! I myself now accept that I am pomosexual. And quite lunaticus.
Toothy: Amantes sunt amentes?
Doctor Parnassus: Absolutely. And what you resist, persists. Now, the unbearable psychic pain of a relationship trauma could trigger the release of a psychic storm. Archetypal compensations and camouflages may then be penetrated and a synthesis of mutually dependent polar forces could ensue. A Hero’s Journey, if you will.
Toothy: Hero? My hero had the heart to lose his life out on a limb. All I remember is thinking, I wanna be like him. Now he’s gone, he not there, but I swear —
Doctor Parnassus: Dearest, I think you and I are singing from the same hymnbook.
Toothy: But my “friend” … well. Ever since he was little, he thought Hollywood looked like fun. So it's no coincidence he’s come… and … I’m afraid I’ll die when he’s done.
Doctor Parnassus: I won’t let that happen, sugarbaby.
Toothy: Maybe I’m crazy.
Doctor Parnassus: Maybe you’re crazy, but so am I.
Toothy: But you know who you are, you’re out there!
Doctor Parnassus: I am out here, lamb, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher. Exempli gratia: Which is better for your friend, eternal happiness or a peanut butter cup? It would appear that eternal happiness is better, but in his mind, this is really not so. After all, nothing is better than eternal happiness, and a peanut butter cup is certainly better than nothing. Therefore a peanut butter cup is better than eternal happiness.
Toothy: Oh doc, I despair.
Doctor Parnassus: Hold on, my sweet plum! Thus spoke Zarathustra: No lachrymology. Be lustful, be selfish. Begin the journey toward self-mastery. Bitch the alter. Stop being a gaysha to him! The alter will then wither away and reintegration can begin.
Toothy: You truly understand my situation.
Doctor Parnassus: I used to be schizophrenic too, but now we’re fine.
Doctor Parnassus: Have your friend call me.
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