Saturday 5 September 2009

What If G.I. Joe Were Gay?

G.I. Joe is like watching fireworks with a blindfold on: it's deafening and you feel under attack. The story makes no sense — why does the Eiffel Tower topple over after being covered in sparkling slime? And worst of all: Sienna Miller and Channing Tatum, a charismatic guy whom The New York Times once compared to Marlon Brando, have the chemistry of two ice cubes. As my mind wandered, I started to imagine ways for the director to have reinvented the franchise for the 21st century. What if the G in G.I. Joe didn't just stand for "government"? What if it also stood for "gay"?

To many G.I. Joe fans, who grew up collecting the action figures, this might be blasphemy. Who cares? The best summer action movies — The Bourne Identity, The Dark Knight — always come with tortured heroes who carry around deep secrets. Imagine the dramatic possibilities! For starters, we could ditch Sienna Miller, which would be a big improvement right from the start. Duke's (Tatum) new love interest would be a male soldier. The movie would even strike a note of social relevance, given that our troops still adhere to "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (i.e., Duke couldn't blab about his love life to any of his friends).

Hollywood likes to cast gay characters in supporting roles, as background scenery, but they still don't anchor movies that often. You can understand the cold feet: the movie business is about selling tickets to teenage boys, and even Brüno tanked. This week, there was a storm of protest online when Robert Downey Jr. suggested his onscreen Sherlock Holmes — scheduled to hit theater screens on Christmas — might have had a gay fling with Watson (Jude Law). Gawker described the "full blown gay panic" from conservative film critic Michael Medved. "Who is going to watch Downey Jr. and Law make out?" he asked. "I don't think it would be appealing to women. Straight men don't want to see it."

Medved's off base — the Sherlock Holmes screenplay doesn't even feature a male kiss, and action heroes have been a little gay since the beginning of the genre. Look at Superman's revealing red tights. Or Batman's "friendship" with Robin. James Bond is such a good dresser, he might as well be gay (at one point, Rupert Everett even wanted to star as a gay James Bond). So maybe it's just a matter of time before we see our first openly gay action hero. At 2 a.m., I'd wasted enough of my time on G.I. Joe. But before I fled, I wanted to check in on an elderly woman who had come to see the movie alone. She looked shellshocked in the lobby, but it turned out that she was only crying tears of joy. Apparently, she couldn't wait for the sequel.

I started to back away, but it was so late that I didn't think it would hurt if I sprang my idea on her. What if, in the next movie, G.I. Joe were gay? Would she still buy a ticket? Her face lit up. "Absolutely!" she said. "Just because you're gay doesn't mean you're not powerful."

Source: Newsweek, What If G.I. Joe Were Gay?

2,143 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Isn't Ted the same person who swore that Jake and Reese would have split long before now? He can't explain, or won't admit, that he doesn't know what's going on, and he is afraid that if a marriage happens he will truly look like an uninformed ass.

So out comes the Baby Tile excuse. CYA much?

(And even that as an excuse is too stupid for words. As if Reese is going to adopt some random child when she already has two children of her own, and as far as I know, is more than capable of producing one for Jake. and then what happens to Austin? And what of all of the family and friends that are made party to this charade by default).

Ted has just convinced me once, and for all, that there is no Baby Tile.

Anonymous said...

Ted and his staff must have been rolling on the floor laughing.

I think you're right! lol

Anonymous said...

Not to mention he includes it in the same post as a TT question about the beard.

Anonymous said...

Isn't Ted the same person who swore that Jake and Reese would have split long before now?

No, Ted never did that.

Anonymous said...

Rumor has it that Reese can't have anymore kids. And why wouldn't the world's best girlfriend/wife agree to an adoption? Especially one who doesn't want to take out from her career to have it herself.

Anonymous said...

But why would Jake (or anyone for that matter) want a child of their's at all assoicated with harridan Reese? Surely that would be tantimount to child cruelty.

the letter's are really funny though... go Ted and the interns!!

Anonymous said...

Of course Ted is laughing his ass off, it's funny as all hell! All for entertainment purposes of course and nothing will happen to him and his interns because it's all shits and giggles.

there is no BT problem said...

Jake should dump the bitch as soon as possible, then make up a story about a woman tragically killed in a car accident who got pregnant during a one night stand but couldn't admit that to her loving ex-boyfriend, so she decided to keep BT and keep her silence, but left a will admiting that BT is Jake's child and asking Jake to take care of the kid, turning Jake into a single father.

Piece of cake!

Anonymous said...

Dear Ted:
Do you think Austin Nichols is merely a cover-up for Sophia Bush and Robert Buckley and Robert a cover-up for Sophia's ex James Lafferty's new romance with the new girl Shantel VanSanten, who apparently has quite a rumor?
–Bitch

Dear One Tree What?
You lost me there. But I can assure you OTH has one creatively commingling cast.


Austin, Robert and "creatively commingling" in the same question: Ted is certainly opening the Buckin door again! ;)

Anonymous said...

Ted has implied the Jake and Reese would break up, more than once. He's also said that Angelina would dump Brad and that hasn't happened yet either.

And if Jake married Reese, he would be taking on two children that are not his biologically, and then he and Reese are going to "adopt" another child, "nonbiological" child?

Ted know his crap is just that, but it will keep the dreamers on the hook.

Could someone explain to me why, with all of the gossip over the years about Jake/Toothy, Ted is the only person pushing this Baby Tile business? And could someone please explain to me why some people seem so desparate to believe this?

Anonymous said...

Look at the Jake is straight patrol trying to claim Ted's latest is proof there is no BabyTile. Ted just reaffirmed that he exists. Learn to read. Reese had her tubes tied years ago so it would be an excuse to adopt. But I cant see Austin going for that, especially if he is the father. Didn't someone say the baby looks like Austin. Ears or moles don't lie. Either way it will be a dead give away if an adoption ever happens.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of TT crap, what the hell happened to that scmuck and buddy of Ted's Ian Halperin?? Remember the 2 toothy books and the HW bigwig and the t girls TT slept with and the guy he sleeped with, etc. He dropped that like a hot potatoe!

Anonymous said...

Or that idiot J. Jaxson. After he did the follow-up of the birth of BT and some hospital in L.A. in 10/07 he became quiet. Then he said that he was giving up his blog and going back into the PR business. The last post about Jake was when the rags were talking about him and Reese moving in together, that was around April/may of last year. He congratulated them forgetting all about the "outing", LOL!

The source for both Ian and JJ was TT blind items, Ian added more stuff but his first post linked to the toothyfile.com. With JJ I think he realized that the "insider" was just feeding him TT re-hashed BI and with Ian he may have intended to investigate the TT crap further but decided to drop it for wahtever reason and I don't think it was the Lawyers since he still goes on about Brangelina and everyone else. I don't think Jake's PR ever reacted to Ian and his "investigation" and he just dropped it.

Maybe Ted thought that someoene would pick it up and run with so that he doesn't have to bother with it anymore but that didn't happen.

Anonymous said...

Ted has implied the Jake and Reese would break up, more than once.

So what? Fauxmance contract will expire sooner or later. Reeke is in no hurry - it's not like Jake will turn straight or Reese will turn attractive and nice.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Ted thought that someoene would pick it up and run with so that he doesn't have to bother with it anymore but that didn't happen.

Bother with it anymore?!? Ted's is getting paid for being tall and cute?

Anonymous said...

3:12: The Reese had her tubes tied years ago is an urban myth created by fangirls when the OMG!! Reese may be pregnant rumors started. There is no proof of this and please don't start with the Star magazine lawsuit where they claimed she was pregnant and she sued because she said that it was preventing her from getting roles. The fangirls clamed that she had to prove that she wasn't pregnant so she produced info that that claimed she had her tubes tied. Yeah right. The Star article just said that she was pregnant, all she had to do is show results of a pregnancy test to prove she wasn't. Very simple. Pregnancy rumors hurt actreeses up for parts or being considered for parts.

Reese is still a fertile myrtle .

FYI: Tubes can be un-tied, it's no longer the primitive cheap version of birth control. Unless a woam has her tubes burned, then the precedure can be un-done. Just ask my sis who had 3 kids with her 2nd husband after having it done.

How can anyone know what "BT" looks like if no one has ever saw it. Ted response is not refirmation that it exisits, he is just repeating something he said over a year ago to a response to a letter. If something exists there has to be some proof.

I just don't get why a few silly fangirls want so hard to believe that it exists. It's almost like if it doesn't exists for them then Jake and Austin never existed or is it the last string that is holding the tale together. I just have a feeling that they don't believe it either.

just clap your hands said...

It's almost like if it doesn't exists for them then Jake and Austin never existed or is it the last string that is holding the tale together.

No.

No BT does not mean J and A didn't have an affair.

I don't belive in BT, but I do believe in Jaustin.

Anonymous said...

I think you may be on to something 3:43. Baby Tile seems to be the last thing the J/A shippers hang onto as the reason for the bearding and as proof that Jake and Austin are a couple. I don't understand the emotional investment in Jake and Austin as a couple.

Jake is gay and likes to get his fuck on with whomever takes his fancy, like any other young single guy. If Jake wants to play with children, he has a niece and a goddaughter who are more than available.

Anonymous said...

That's what I mean 3:56. Most here don't believe in BT including me, just too stpid for words. It sounds like a lot of the bad slash I used to read which is exactly what it is. But the posters that believe in it I think believe that if there is no BT then there is no great J&A love story, which I never believed. I believed they were fuck buddies and fuck buddies are not romantic for the fangirls and fuck buddies don't have babies so they will believe anything.

BTW: What did happen to those TT books?

Anonymous said...

BTW: What did happen to those TT books?

Books take time! :)

Ian is very busy with MJ book:

Ever since I revealed my conversations with two of Michael Jackson’s
lovers in my book, Unmasked: The Final Years of Michael Jackson, a
portion of MJ fandom has gone ballistic with the news that their icon
was homosexually inclined. They have been attacking me nonstop online
and calling for a worldwide boycott of my book, even though the book
devotes most of its pages to clearing Jackson of the serious charges
of child molestation that destroyed his career and is almost
universally sympathetic to the singer.

Anonymous said...

Trolly are you talking to yourself again? Knickers in a twist over the lack of Reeking the past few months?

Go back to GB and coo over UV and Fl's posts.

Anonymous said...

Trolly be useful and ask UV and FL if they wrote those babbler Dear Ted letters!

Anonymous said...

Posted on OMG by Special K

@RyanSeacrest Is the Jake Gyllenhaal lookalike still working at E! News? He's hot! Ha
about 2 hours ago in reply to RyanSeacrest

Perez Hilton twitter

Anonymous said...

Is she going to then give birth to a toddler?

Aha! That's why Reese has been looking pregnant for the last 3 years.

BT said...

Ted response is not refirmation that it exisits, he is just repeating something he said over a year ago to a response to a letter. If something exists there has to be some proof.

Chut up!

Jake said...

@RyanSeacrest Is the Jake Gyllenhaal lookalike still working at E! News? He's hot!

Gays are drooling over me!

Anonymous said...

The Star article just said that she was pregnant, all she had to do is show results of a pregnancy test to prove she wasn't. Very simple.

Actually, not so simple as "showing results of a pregnancy test." She would have to prove she was not pregnant at the time the pic was taken, not do a pregnancy test whenever months later when the lawsuit happens LOL. Lawsuits don't happen immediately and I doubt she has a notary date-stamp all her tampons and archive them for proof of periods. Also, from a legal standpoint it could be possible that she was pregnant at the time the pic was taken but had a miscarriage (or abortion) after, so that had to be taken into consideration.

So even though the pics clearly showed that her belly was big enough to be in the 5th or 6th month of pregnancy, the lawsuit was open and shut (so to speak lol) and there was no unreasonable doubt as to the judge's decision, and no repeal. There is only one way to prove without any doubt that she could in no possible way be pregnant at the time the pics were taken: irrefutable proof of permanent sterilization.

Anonymous said...

^^^ Makes sense.

Another dig at Reese from Ted said...

Dear Ted:
The Internet blew up over the weekend, and the world is coming to an end because Alexander Skarsgård is dating (a) Willa Holland (b) Evan Rachel Wood or (c) someone who is not me! Please confirm whether Alexander is dating (a) or (b). Unfortunately, I can confirm (c) all by myself.
—Legallyblond

Dear Skars Sweet:
Good news! Eventually he will get around to you, too! He's not being very discriminate, thank heaven.

And another said...

Dear Snap Happy:

Anonymous said...

I believed they were fuck buddies

Is that why Austin doesn't have a girlfriend or a boyfriend since 2004?

Anonymous said...

Commenters at Awful Truth are so fucking ass lame. They're all saying that since Jake doesn't have kids he can't be Toothy. Or maybe he is Toothy and Reese is pregnant.

Anonymous said...

Maybe in his "private, private" life, Austin has been fucking around. You know, like single people do.

Or maybe he did/does have somebody steady. It just isn't necessarily Jake.

Anonymous said...

Reese will go after Ryan P once what's her name drops him, thats what she's waiting for. Then she will out or hint that Jake was not the man for her or she was not what he needed. The woman is disgusting but she still wants Ryan, why else go for someone younger and more successful. Its been awhile but think about, Reese is not going to drop Jake before Ryan is dropped. If Ryan and his lady broke up tomorrow, within two months Reese and Jake would be no more. This relationship is all about the same old story, a scorned woman. Jake is the revenge hook up to show up Ryan and its working with all this tabloid crap pretty much calling Jake the replacement Dad.

Reese is cruel, competitive and another c word. It doesn't matter about Jake's sexuality, its all about Reese getting back at Ryan and eventually getting Ryan back under her thumb.

Anonymous said...

I heard that when Jake isn't around Austin gets his sex from Palmela Handerson.

Anonymous said...

6:23 pm, you're rather harsh. But awhile back, shortly after Reese and Jake started "dating," I heard from a pal of mine who works in LA (and knows a lot of the movie folks) that Reese (whom she told me was a bitch) was still crazy about Ryan (which my friend did not understand why).

Anonymous said...

6:25, sorry if I seemed harsh, it just I don't understand how people can't see through this woman.

Thumbelina and her 4 sisters said...

I heard that when Jake isn't around Austin gets his sex from Palmela Handerson.

What? That two-timing fuckass bastard. And Palmela: hope you get arthritis you wrinkled old hand-me-down.

Anonymous said...

Reese longing for Ryan is 50% love and 50% image concern.
The divorce put her in a difficult place emotinally and professioanly.
Her Avon contract was not thinked for an ageing,dumped mother of two.
And along came Toothy...and problem solved!

Anonymous said...

6:28 PM, I agree. Reese looks like a romcon clishe character, you know, the nasty girl thay plays opossite the female protagonist.

I really don't understand why people like her that much

Now Available! said...

Reese's Avon perfume: Beard In Bloom

Anonymous said...

Jake should dump the bitch as soon as possible, then make up a story about a woman tragically killed in a car accident who got pregnant during a one night stand but couldn't admit that to her loving ex-boyfriend, so she decided to keep BT and keep her silence, but left a will admiting that BT is Jake's child and asking Jake to take care of the kid, turning Jake into a single father.

Perfect solution! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Jake should dump the bitch as soon as possible, then make up a story about a woman tragically killed in a car accident

Jake should kill the bitch in a car accident as soon as possible.

Anonymous said...

So even though the pics clearly showed that her belly was big enough to be in the 5th or 6th month of pregnancy, the lawsuit was open and shut (so to speak lol) and there was no unreasonable doubt as to the judge\'s decision, and no repeal. There is only one way to prove without any doubt that she could in no possible way be pregnant at the time the pics were taken: irrefutable proof of permanent sterilization.

That is completely wrong. Two weeks after Star printed that pregnancy story, they printed another one saying that Reese was not pregnant. They retracted the pregnancy story before it ever reached a judge. And after that Star settled the lawsuit out of court. So there was no judge\'s decision and no repeal (I think you meant appeal).

Anonymous said...

4:17

Ian wasn't writing the toothy books. Ian claimed Jake was talking to a NY publisher and the 2nd book was L.A. based, so yeah he dreooped the whole TT story.

5:13: Reese reminds me when I was usinf the birth control patch: bloating, sometimes itlooked like I was pregannat, other times not. All she had to do for example if she was using that is to prove that the patch was the cause of her looking pregnant. You will need to use the patch for several months for that to happen and her doctor could have easily shown that she was on it at the time of thepics.

Used tampons?? No need to do that anymore.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Reese said...

The best birth control is having a gay bf!

Anonymous said...

Remember that BI from Lainey about an actor who was trying to get back with his ex-wife and she said hell no? Everyone said Ryan. Lainey said that it wasn't out of love but status.

LOL said...

Jake should kill the bitch in a car accident as soon as possible.

Death threat?! No. Just humorous advice to Jake.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

^^

mmmhh..I don't know.I remeber there was a lot divorces at that same time.
It was like a split Boom, could have been anyone..

Anonymous said...

Birth control patches make you bloat up to look 6 months pregnant?!!

Anonymous said...

Two weeks after Star printed that pregnancy story, they printed another one saying that Reese was not pregnant. They retracted the pregnancy story before it ever reached a judge.

They found out about her tubes being tied.

Anonymous said...

I remember hearing about this, but never really paid attention because I never really liked Reese. She always struck me as being bitchy and always trying to hard in interviews to be nice and funny and not quite making it. Nothing has changed there, she's just gotten more bitchy and more phony. Does anyone know where to see the pic in question? I'm curious to see.

Anonymous said...

Jake got to PIT yesterday afternoon, today's Wednesday, plenty of time to make it to D23 on Friday. Friday September 11. Shit. With all the bad karma POP has had why did they choose the sneak peek on September 11 of all days. Jeeze. LOL

Anonymous said...

Not very big but here the pic that was in Star Reese Pregnant Star Lawsuit Pic

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
LOL said...

If that was the case they would have done a Reese isn't pregnant because she had her tubes tied.

Silly troll. Star or any publication isn't going to print a retraction that says "Reese isn't pregnant because she had her tubes tied"

Anonymous said...

Trolly at 7:16 is all in a dither when anyone says Reese can't/won't have more children. Trolly wants Reese to have Jake's rugrats sooooo baaaaaaaaad!

LMAO said...

Face it, she is capable of getting pregnant and you are not due to your age probably, would explain your obsession with tied tues, that was the only form of birth control that was around when you were still having sex.

Not only does Trolly know everything about their precious Reese but they know all the posters genders, ages, sexual habits, birth control methods, everything!

Jake said...

Trolly wants Reese to have Jake's rugrats sooooo baaaaaaaaad!

She needs to have my penis in her first. And that ain't gonna happen!

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

if they printed a story about her being pregnant based on her bloated stomach then they can print that she had her tubes tied since they have proof

LOL. NO. Ever heard of HIPAA you ignorant troll. The Star or anyone is NOT going to print that someone had their tubes tied. LMAO.

Anonymous said...

Tied, cauterized, whatever. With Reese they probably had to perform voodoo.

Anonymous said...

Silly middle-aged brokie

You really are a stupid troll LMAO. Go back to Babble and coo over Reese and her Magic Vagina.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

"7:06:Google it as i'm sure you did already when this fanfic was first posted as fact. She's on the beach with ther kids with a tummy, the same tummy she gets when I asumeit's that timeof the month and the extra bloating from the patch."

How do you know this about her time of the month, do you have it on your calendar or are you her obgyn?

Anonymous said...

OT Anyone see NCIS LA last week? Damn Chris O'Donnell looked good. They were rumors about him and Clooney back in the Batman days. I always wondered if he was the BI about the actor who had a huge hero role taken away from him because he refused to guarantee that he would never come out, because soon after Batman he disappeared off the face of the earth. Not that the role was Robin (LOL) but another big movie lead. After he disappeared he went and got married and had 4 kids, but as we all know that doesn't exactly mean anything anymore.

And now after almost 15 years later of being one of HW's biggest potential leading men, with the last 7 years of bit movie parts and minor TV roles, he's a lead in a TV series.

Could be that Chris O'Donnell is what Jake doesn't want to have happen to him.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe people are arguing over who knows Reese's reproductive organs better? Any subject that comes close to Reese's vagina scares me and Jake.

Anonymous said...

Chris O'Donnell was Reese's ex boyfriend. I read on another board that Reese caught him in the bathroom with another guy. Supposedly the person who posted the story went to school with Reese.

Anonymous said...

Reese is a fertile myrtle

Troll is Reese's fallopian tube.

Baboouterus said...

Trollopian tube. Too bad we can't permanently burn and tie them off.

Anonymous said...

8:06, I wonder if vengeful Reese had anything to do with throwing Chris out of HW. Ya think?

Anonymous said...

Chris O'Donnell maried some girl not in the business, moved to the midwest and had a bunch of kids. he wife comes from $$$ and i assumed he didn't reaaly need to work.

I think Jake would become a chef or make furniture before he did TV IMO.

Anonymous said...

LOL. NO. Ever heard of HIPAA you ignorant troll. The Star or anyone is NOT going to print that someone had their tubes tied. LMAO.

Hi, its 6:46. Looks like I have more correcting to do. There is nothing to stop Star from suggesting that Reese had her tubes tied, nor would Reese have a strong case to sue them if such a suggestion was false. The original claim against Star was that she was deceiving producers by withholding the truth about her {pregnancy} This constituted defamation. If Star had run the story without mentioning that and just left it as a speculative work, they would have been ok. But they overreached themselves.

Because of that, Reese would not need to provide any evidence of her inability to get pregnant, and Star would not need to see any to know that they had a high chance of losing the case. So an out of court settlement was the cheapest option for them. The facts as stated are enough.

And, to be clear, HIPAA would not prevent Star from saying that Reese may have had her tubes tied, the same way that it does not stop any number of magazines (including Star) from talking about possible plastic surgery or other elective surgery that actresses may have had.

Anonymous said...

6:52 Lainey has printed misinformation on a regular basis to make Reese look fabulous especially leading up to and right after the divorce. She had blind items that would have led you to believe Ryan Phillipe was a drug addicted, child molesting, serial abortion causing, alcoholic who desperately wanted to get back to the woman he adored. I don't believe a word of it. I think he may be a drunk but he wanted out of that marriage for a long time and I doubt he ever looked back. He also seems like a fairly decent person.

I don't like to tell people what to post but IMO it would be wonderful if we could never speak of things such as "tubes" and "bloating".

Go back to your boring blog said...

UV at 8:13 defending her precious Reese. LOL

Anonymous said...

"8:06, I wonder if vengeful Reese had anything to do with throwing Chris out of HW. Ya think?"

It was pre oscar for Reese, they were pretty young and Chris was bigger than Reese at the time. And the same person who posted had said that Reese is adamant that Jake is straight, again third party conversation. But this person did know Reese.

Anonymous said...

Babblers NEVER post at OMG or WFT.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if vengeful Reese had anything to do with throwing Chris out of HW.

I think it had more to do with the film offers drying up due to the fact that he had about 6 critical and commercial duds in a row including the stinkfest that was Batman and Robin. Turning down the Will Smith role in Men in Black cannot have helped much either. Oops.

Anonymous said...

Reese is adamant that Jake is straight

Of course she does. Reese believes her own PR.

Anonymous said...

"Reese is adamant that Jake is straight"

I would seriously doubt that Reese would admit to anyone that she knows Jake is gay and is purposely bearding for him.

Anonymous said...

6:46/8:13/UV/babbler, can you tell us all about dieting and losing weight since you know so much about everything?

8:13 said...

UV at 8:13 defending her precious Reese. LOL

I think Jake is fucking Austin, Reese is dull as dishwater, and not a single word of my last post defended her at all. She might have had her tubes tied, burnt off or cut out and hung from a tree. She might get pregnant every year, induce the birth after 4 months and then eat the fetus for all I know. I was correcting someone on a matter of law. If seeing someone being corrected gets you so bent out of shape that you start crying about trolls, I suggest you avert your eyes until your mommy tells you its safe to look at the screen again.

Anonymous said...

Oh that's right. You can't.

LOL said...

UV again at 8:37.

Cafe oh Lay said...

cruising for coffee

Uh huh. Coffee.

Jake said...

I can't help it if I like sweet mint twolips I mean juleps.

Anonymous said...

I seem to recall that the first person to mention the possibility of Reese having her tubes tied was TR, who had worked for or had some kind of ties to Ryan.

Settlement agreements usually require the parties to keep the terms confidential. If Reese revealed any information about her tubes the Star was probably required not to say anything about it.

Anonymous said...

No wonder UV, FL and the troll are all over here. There have only been 6 comments on GB in the past 27 hours or so, and only 93 since the last post went up on Aug. 30. That's what, an average of 8 or 9 a day?

Anonymous said...

Reese is not going anywhere until a man comes along who is interested in her. She does not want to look needy like Anniston. Nor will she end the bearding while Ryan is with someone.

Ted's mention of Baby Tile sure rattled the troll's cages. There is no way the baby has been hidden all this time. People have seen it or Ted would not continue to mention it.

Anonymous said...

Interesting point 11:51. Maybe the troll has seen something? Maybe there are other things besides that supposed baby footprint on Jake's pants that point to a baby????? Trolly has probably spent hours pouring over Jake pictures and videos looking for clues.

Anonymous said...

IMO troll doesn't know anything concrete but has the same gut feeling we do. Also Ted's blatant LOL snaps in Bitch Back today has trolls nervous. The "Reese and Jake are in love and a real couple" foundation they stand on is getting shakier by the bearding minute.

Anonymous said...

No wonder UV, FL and the troll are all over here.

Their suburbia marriage to Reeke has gotten boring and predictable. WFT and OMG are the fun gay bars. They get bored, come in and tell us how wonderful their marriage is!

Anonymous said...

Coming out story, from ca 5 min about Prayers for Bobby

Nice that Austin took part in this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkW4HukBqRk&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fcommunity.livejournal.com%2Fohnotheydidnt%2F39026143.html&feature=player_embedded#t=353

Anonymous said...

^^^
This is my coming out story

Anonymous said...

Nice that Austin took part in this

It's nice to know that your work did some good :)

Jake said...

WFT and OMG are the fun gay bars.

I need another drink!

Gyllenhaal-Hathaway movie to shoot scene in Aliquippa said...

ALIQUIPPA — A scene for the Anne Hathaway-Jake Gyllenhaal movie “Love & Other Drugs” will be shot at the former Aliquippa Hospital.

The building’s owner, Chuck Betters, said filming is scheduled for the final week of this month.

The scene, expected to take just one day to film, will be outdoors in the rain. The crew of the Fox Studios drama will erect two temporary towers that can create artificial rain.

Directed by Edward Zwick (“The Last Samurai”) and based on the book “Hard Sell: The Evolution of a Viagra Salesman,” the movie centers on a pharmaceutical salesman competing in the ruthless business of hawking male performance enhancement drugs. He falls in love with a woman who has Parkinson’s disease.

Gyllenhaal and Hathaway, both Oscar nominees, are joined in the cast by Judy Greer (“The Wedding Planner”) and Carnegie Mellon grad Josh Gad, who was a cast member in the short-lived, Pittsburgh-set Fox-TV comedy “Back to You.”

link

Anonymous said...

Is Adam working out? :)

Anonymous said...

OMG..Adam. Guns or not I want to blow him. Jake I just want to slap.

Jake said...

*Fuck!*

Anonymous said...

The scene, expected to take just one day to film, will be outdoors in the rain.

Wet Jake? :)

Jake said...

*I hope my hair will look good!*

Anonymous said...

Jake I just want to slap.

Me too!
Snap out of it! *slap*

Anonymous said...

Where is BT? *slap*

Anonymous said...

What did you do to Austin? *slap*

Anonymous said...

Stop neglecting Atticus! *slap*

Anonymous said...

When did you last visit Matilda? *slap*

Anonymous said...

What happened to Boo? *slap*

Anonymous said...

Page Six

Eatery rent suit bites Mario Batali

Mario "Fanta Pants" Batali is learning the hard way that if you let bills simmer for too long, you get burned.

The superstar chef and his longtime business partner, Joseph Bastianich, are getting sued for almost $75,000 by their landlord for failing to pay their rent, The Post's Dareh Gregorian reports.

Anonymous said...

Page Six

Endquote ...

"SHE was in her frickin' bra with an open jacket and hot-pink shorts, skating around the rink with red lips. She's sexy, a feral creature"
-- Drew Barrymore to Marie Claire about Ellen Page in the new movie "Whip It."

ugly said...

the beard's oral skills

Anonymous said...

^^^ That's an old Philly movie set picture, right?

Yes, Reese is the master of disgusting faces.

Anonymous said...

Oral skills?! For what, a pencil dick?!

Anonymous said...

I didn't have my breakfast yet.

Anonymous said...

Get a jumpstart on bulimia!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Interesting point 11:51. Maybe the troll has seen something? Maybe there are other things besides that supposed baby footprint on Jake's pants that point to a baby????? Trolly has probably spent hours pouring over Jake pictures and videos looking for clues.

September 09, 2009 11:57 PM


What baby-footprint (supposedly are you talking about? The greasy splotch on the right pants leg, leaving A medical center in Beverly Hills - 9.2.09?
And no, I m not a troll....just curious.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, Ryan Phillippe ;)

Anonymous said...

The greasy splotch on the right pants leg, leaving A medical center in Beverly Hills - 9.2.09

Yes. It looks like a baby-footprint, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

That wasn't a greasy splotch from a doctor's office glazed donut and you know it. The "fingers" portion, IF he had indeed wiped them on his pants, were in the wrong direction, upside down. It was a baby footprint thru and thru.

Anonymous said...

i was flipping thru posts and pics real fast last week and when i saw the pic of jake's shorts with the mark on it no one had to tell me what it was. i knew instantly. when you see something and there's no caption or explanation needed, 95% of the time it is what you think it is. it's called recognition.

Anonymous said...

baby footprint

LOL now what the question is, is what was it? Baby oil, water or pee?!

Anonymous said...

True, sure looks like it.

Could easily happen when and if you give the baby a bath, pour some baby-oil in the bathwater because its good for their skin, and then dry him/her off.

The fooprint is too small to be i.e his niece's?

Anonymous said...

Ramona will be 3 on October 3.

Anonymous said...

Could have been baby sunblock. Or something that BT accidentally got on his foot while at the Dr. office for a checkup. Whatever caused it, it's obvious Jake was unaware of wearing a foot stain of the front of his shorts.

Jake said...

Nosy Parkers!

Anonymous said...

Jake was unaware of wearing a foot stain of the front of his shorts

Gotta love Ditzy Jake!

Anonymous said...

How do we know that BT is a boy?
And if Jake visited the Medical Center for BT's check up, where is he/she, hidden away somewhere? Because there is no BT to be seen in the pictures, and he appears to be alone (no nanny/other parent or whatever)??

Anonymous said...

Jake was unaware of wearing a foot stain of the front of his shorts

Gotta love Ditzy Jake!



Coachella: fly unzipped
Cal Conserv Corp: wedding ring on necklace
Med Building: holding a sonogram

Anonymous said...

hidden away somewhere?

Yes. Nanny probably left prior to Jake and from another exit. BT is a HW secret, Jake isn't going to be walking around with a baby stroller, LOL.

Recent clues have pointed towards BT being a boy (look them up in the Toothy Tile link in the blog).

Anonymous said...

Really? I thought Ted never said anything about that.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...


Gotta love Ditzy Jake!


Coachella: fly unzipped
Cal Conserv Corp: wedding ring on necklace
Med Building: holding a sonogram

September 10, 2009 9:40 AM

Sonogram, in the same pics as the footprint?
Isn't he holding a cellphone in his right hand?

Anonymous said...

Med Building: holding a sonogram

Picture from Spring(?) 2007.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Med Building: holding a sonogram

Picture from Spring(?) 2007.

September 10, 2009 9:56 AM


Oh okay, sorry.
I haven't seen it then.

Anonymous said...

The footprint could have been from BT at home, like the poster 9:26 said you give the baby a bath, pour some baby-oil in the bathwater, and then Jake left and went on his merry way to the med building to do whatever, not realizing that the oily footprint had made a mark which was especially picked up by the paps' camera flashes.

OR it could have been made if Jake and BT (and nanny) were at the med building for a baby checkup, and after re-dressing the baby Jake stood him up and one foot landed on his shorts. I don't have kids yet so I don't know if they would rub a lotion or oil on a baby after a checkup.

Anonymous said...

Yes. It looks like a baby-footprint, doesn't it?

And of course it's dangerously close to the male/father's sensitive crotch area, where all babies and toddlers tend to stand and kick. LOL!

Anonymous said...

It isn't too close though. Looks like Jake has learned not to get a baby's feet near his package.

Anonymous said...

OMG..Adam. Guns or not I want to blow him. Jake I just want to slap.

ITA.

Anonymous said...

Remember that photo of Jake with Jim Sheridan? He had a spot on his shoulder--some people thought it was the right spot for baby drool/spitup.

Anonymous said...

Remember that photo of Jake with Jim Sheridan?

Private Brothers screening photos?

Anonymous said...

"Remember that photo of Jake with Jim Sheridan?"

No. Which one?

Ted said...

Dear Ted:
Can you give us an update on Baby Tile?
—Kitty

Dear Crybaby:
Just that I can't wait to read the kid's tell-all. Daddie Fearest, I assume it'll be called.


Dear Ted:
I think I am becoming obsessed with "beards." Are they so shallow as to enter into a fake relationship just for the attention from the press for themselves…and to cover for someone who is in the closet? I mean, Ted, what's in it for them? And why do closeted celebrities feel they have to stay in the closet? Haven't we made any strides at all in this country? Am I naive?
—P.K.

Dear Forward Thinker:
Only naive to the Biz, hon-cake. You don't see Neil Patrick Harris or T.R. Knight (whom we both adore) getting offered parts in big flicks where guy gets girl, do ya? That's the fear of the closeted actor. As for the beard, a lot of them have secrets they need covered, too. Not to mention they're often vicarious to the max.


The Awful Truth

Anonymous said...

"Not to mention they're often vicarious to the max."

What does that mean??

Anonymous said...

Ted said...
Dear Ted:
Can you give us an update on Baby Tile?
—Kitty

Dear Crybaby:
Just that I can't wait to read the kid's tell-all. Daddie Fearest, I assume it'll be called.

September 10, 2009 10:53 AM

Is there a clue in "Daddie
Fearest" (paternal identity) except for stating the obvoius, sort of?

Anonymous said...

Not to mention [beards] they're often vicarious to the max.

vi·car·i·ous
adj.
Felt or undergone as if one were taking part in the experience or feelings of another: read about mountain climbing and experienced vicarious thrills.

Anonymous said...

Vicarious huh. Well, Reese is not getting any sex so I guess she has the same fantasies of Jake and Austin to think about when she is alone with her vibrator as we all do.

Anonymous said...

Ted ran a variation on that first letter before, Daddie Fearest is a reference to Mommie Dearest.

Anonymous said...

Private Brothers screening photos?

Yes, I think that's the pics some mean. But why would he take a baby to a film screening? Could be water spilled.

As for the grease spot on his pants when he left medical center, I'm still not convinced it's a baby foot.

screening

Anonymous said...

^^^ Brothers screening photo

spot on Jake's shoulder

Anonymous said...

^^In some pics there are spots all over his pullover if you look closely.

Anonymous said...

LOL, I guess I'm really the only one here who thinks the spot is from food because (imo) his mouth is smeared with powder all over as well.

pic

Anonymous said...

New J/R + kids.

fashionspot

Anonymous said...

^^^ Flynet frozen yogurt pics from last week

Anonymous said...

his mouth is smeared with powder all over

Jeezus. Go get your eyes checked or get a better monitor or get a high zoom or image program installed or learn about highlights and reflections. There's no powder or grease smears on his lips or mouth. What you are seeing and misinterpreting are the outside slight creases on each side of his mouth, both of which are reflecting a whitish ambient light from the flashes.

Anonymous said...

12:12 - says someone who thinks there is a baby foot print on his shorts *rolls eyes*.

Anonymous said...

11:58 AM, 12:15 PM

If you think that baby foot print is just a random stain just say so - no need for inventing the "proof".

Anonymous said...

I'm not inventing anything. I see what I see.

Anonymous said...

Baby footprint, with the outline and shape of the sole and toes, is obvious even at normal 100% viewing.

A mouth "smeared with powder/grease" is questionable at 100% and proven non-existent at 400% magnification.

Trolly, if you want to go on believing that you see powder and can't admit that you are wrong, suit yourself. End of discussion.

Anonymous said...

I'm not inventing anything. I see what I see.

IMO you see shit.

Anonymous said...

Just because I don't see what you claim to see and see something different you call me a trolly?
Give me a break.

I'm over this discussion.

Anonymous said...

IMO you see shit.

Perhaps you do?

Like I said, I'm over it.

BT said...

In some pics there are spots all over his pullover if you look closely.

Bulp!

Anonymous said...

Was this posted here already? It was posted on OMG. Scroll to the bottom and there's the yogurt pics.

Anonymous said...

Weird they're on a forum blog but not IHJ.

Anonymous said...

Was this posted here already?

Yes, Flynet yogurt pics were posted here first, thanks to 12:06 PM.

Producers Scramble to Put VGBB Into Shitty Family Film said...

Bradley Cooper Is Un-Cut

Wait, let me try to clarify that headline. I have no idea if emerging star Bradley Cooper is uncircumsized or not (though I have my suspicions).
But I HAVE exclusively learned that his small role had been cut out of the upcoming comedy Old Dogs (starring Robin Williams and John Travolta), but now that Cooper's piping hot thanks to the smash box office afterglow of The Hangover, editors are frantically picking up scraps from the cutting room floor and reinserting him into the movie.

link

Jake said...

^^^ See?! That's all I need - one smash box office!

Anonymous said...

I cannot believe that anyone would think either Jake or Austin would be so stupid as to bring a child into this world that they would then have to keep hidden away, or would have to lie to about his/her identity, for possibly all of its life. A lie that would not just hurt this child but all of Jake and Austin's extended family as this child's real realtionship with his families would also have to be hidden as well. I am suppossed to belive that Jake and Austin would willing subject a child to a life of isolation and denial.

And some of you are willing to believe this of Jake or Austin because a gossip columnist said so. And Ted is the only person in the entire world of Hollywood who has ever, ever made mention of this kid. And don't you think it's rather cavalier, ignorant and insensitive to gossip about this child in this way?

Why do some of you want to believe this so badly? Why do you need this particular fantasy? Why are you so afraid that it isn't true?

I truly believe Jake is gay. And while I believe Jake can be foolish (like any of us), he is not a fool.

Anonymous said...

Why do some of you want to believe this so badly?
Why do you need this particular fantasy?
Why are you so afraid that it isn't true?


None of the Above!

Anonymous said...

"Why do some of you want to believe this so badly? Why do you need this particular fantasy? Why are you so afraid that it isn't true?"


Let me give you a piece of mind on this subject:

BT believers are afraid that if the baby story is a lie, then nothing Ted says is true (including Jake's likes for boys)

What BT believers can't understand is that Jake is gay because he fucks men, not only because Ted says so.

...no baby is needed to all JiG thinkers

Anonymous said...

Speculation is fun. Just because I do see baby footprint and find it highly amusing doesn't make me a BT believer :)

Anonymous said...


BT believers are afraid that if the baby story is a lie, then nothing Ted says is true (including Jake's likes for boys)


That is bullshit. Lots of people believe a lot of what Ted says is true, even if they don't believe in BT. Ted is a gossip columnist, not a reporter. Some of it is true, some of it is exaggerated, and some of it is probably not true. Everyone has to decide for themselves how much they want to believe.

Personally I've seen enough to think there just might be a baby tile, just the way I have seen plenty that confirms that Jake is Toothy, Austin GG and that Jake and Austin continue to be in a relationship.

Baby Tile said...

My truth is stranger than your fiction.

Anonymous said...

LOL :)

Anonymous said...

Personally I've seen enough to think there just might be a baby tile

Care to share?

Anonymous said...

Jake is carrying four yougurt containers, two in his hands, two in the bag: himself, Austin (probably in the car, otherwise he'd have it in the bag), nanny and Baby Tile. :-D :-D :-D

Funny Tweet said...

LOL, Jake turns straight boys on. This guy was asked, if he was a married actor would he want to be in kissing scenes.

TheAHuff: @tkmckamy It depends on who I'm kissing. If my co-star was Jennifer Love Hewitt... NO QUESTION! If my co-star was Jake Gyllenhaal... maybe.

Anonymous said...

Care to share?

Not 1:56 but there's almost 3 years of BT stuff in the TT archives and in OMG and WFT blogs archives.

Jake said...

2 yogurts for me now, 2 for me later! Austin, go get your own!

Anonymous said...

Was Austin in L.A. when these ice cream or whatever pics were taken?

Anonymous said...

OTH intern flips thru notes....

OTH intern said...

Damn I can't find where Sophia was Sept 3rd.

Anonymous said...

Jake is carrying four yougurt containers, two in his hands, two in the bag: himself, Austin (probably in the car, otherwise he'd have it in the bag), nanny and Baby Tile. :-D :-D :-D

Why did no one bother to take pictures of Austin if he was in the car? Also, can a 2 (?) year old eat frozen yogurt?

Jake said...

It was the strained peas flavor.

Anonymous said...

So, why do all of them look pissed if this was an arranged op?

Anonymous said...

Pissed is normal for them. Time to ask "Why?" is when you see them smiling.

Anonymous said...

It was a day or two after the Madeo pictures, so I'm assuming Austin was still in L.A., probably returned to work after Labor Day, the same time as Jake hit Pittsburgh.

prairiegirl said...

Can I just say something?

I hedge back & forth on the existance of BT(s) practically on a daily basis, from photo op to photo op, from AT to AT, etc. Okay, so no one's more wishy washy than me.

I am not necessarily wanting to believe in a BT. I'm horrified to think that there could be a baby and Jake would go prancing around like he did on MV acting like he's Ava & Deacon's stepdad. How horrid would that be to your own child? What are you saying?

And just because you or I realize how non-smart this would be to try and have a kid under these circumstances, that doesn't mean that someone else is going to think it all through and realize that, too. Accidents happen. Hindsight is 20/20. Who knows.

And I'm not the only one on OMG who flips back & forth on this subject. It's crazy but it's also crazy enough to be true. I'm not ruling it out.

I firmly believe that's a footprint of a year old+ on his shorts - I didn't see it at first but when someone pointed it out and I looked again, it stood out to me like a sore thumb.

And I don't need a BT to try & make me believe that Jake & Austin are still together. I don't need that. I have my reasons to believe they have definitely had a relationship and only because of the return of Big Blue do I now think they still are involved, because I was doubting.

I know, to base it on a ring is kind of loopy, but there ya go.

Since I don't live in either guy's backpocket, that's about all I've got to base my beliefs on for now.

Just offering a different point of view.

Anonymous said...

I think hired paps only take the photos they are called to take. I bet they see a lot of things that never make it to the light of day, but they're paid well and have no reason to bite the hand that feeds them.

For example, why are there absolutely no pictures of Jake getting in a car??? Seems to me that someone else might have been in that car that nobody wanted us to see, like Austin.

Anonymous said...

I also agree that having a hidden BT is a moronic idea... but I thought the story was that Jake was planning to come out at the time they decided to hire the surrogate. Then changed his mind. Once the baby was on it's way, it was on it's way. That gives reason to believe that at the time it seemed like a good idea- thus not thinking it through.

Not saying that I believe in BT and I can't see the "baby footprint" on my computer cause tinypic is blocked- but I'll definitely check it out when I get home.

Anonymous said...

Was Austin in L.A. when these ice cream or whatever pics were taken?

We have Sophia and Austin LA Madeo restaurant pictures from Tuesday (Sept 1), yougurt Reeke pictures are from Thursday, Sept 3. Austin wasn't filming last week so it's reasonable to presume that he was in LA for Labor Day weekend.

Anonymous said...

prairiegirl said...
Can I just say something?


Always :)

Anonymous said...

Why would Austin be sitting in a car waiting for a frozen yogurt? If this was a photo-op and they came in seperate cars then why didn't he just stay home? Makes no sense. the photo-op didn't take that long.

You must not think much of Austin if you think that all he has to do with his free time is to follow them around. If there were 2 cars it's quite posible that someone else was in the car, imagine that, Jake knows lots of people!

BTW: Jake has a yellow string thingy in his pocket thaty I assume is a key chain like her's. That means that he was driving.

Also if you look at the pics of Reese and the kids getting into the car and no Jake it looks like her car is parked in a different area then when they came in. If that's the case, then who parked the car in that spot. Look at the advertising in the windows in the entering the store pics: some loan advertising and the exiting pics: western union advertising.

Anonymous said...

So I just went back and found the stained shorts picture. And that most definitely is a baby foot. Anyone who says otherwise is clearly trying to see things that aren't there for whatever reason.

I find it all very strange. I never really believed in a baby tile but hmmm....

What ring on necklace thing? (someone mentioned that above)

Anonymous said...

Posted on OMG

ring on necklace 1

ring on necklace 2

Ring 1 + 2 was taken on an extremely windy and electricity-static-cling day in LA (Santa Ana Winds). The circular shape outline screams "wedding-band-type" ring IMO (and others).

Anonymous said...

Posted on OMG

ring 3 on necklace

LACC awards 2008 - Jake walking thru park on crutches

Some people argue that Ring 3 isn't a band but a decorative pendant but considering the size of the object, the angle of the highlights because a band on a chain doesn't lie flat (it turns), the fact that Jake and the ring was in a state of movement and the pic has a double shadow of the object which throws off the circular shape, IMO it is a band. Also: it's gold (admittedly a small point!) but a much bigger point is it's on a very long chain, at the pec cleavage which is unusual for a man but a perfect length for keeping it out of the way and hidden.

Anonymous said...

Here we go again. LOL

1. Jake (and Austin) doesn't just stay home and venture out for photo ops. Did it ever occur to you that the yogurt stop was between doing other things?!

2. "Jake has a yellow string thingy in his pocket thaty I assume is a key chain like her's. That means that he was driving."

LOLOL oh please. Then explain a) what he's supposed to do with his keys when he's driving his own car and b) why Reese has her car key and remote out.

3) You really do need to get your eyes checked, get a better monitor or get some common sense. Reese's car wasn't moved. The photographer moved. It's in the same spot which btw is a red "NO PARKING ZONE". It's at different angles, that's all. If you want to argue that Reese moved her car to second No Parking zone and lined up the red stripes to match the first No Parking zone that she was in, go right ahead.

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