Tuesday, 14 April 2009

10 Reasons a Bike is Better than a Boyfriend

Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols
April 13, 2009


The top ten reasons a bike is better than a boyfriend:

10. He always follows your directions.

9. He doesn’t care if you ride more than one bike.

8. You can always add performance-enhanced upgrades.

7. He doesn’t complain about being tired if you want him to go faster.

6. It’s a good thing if he’s full of gas.

5. He naturally vibrates without extra accessories.

4. He only whines if something is actually wrong.

3. He can take you from zero to "Oh, my God! Oh my God!" in 3.4 seconds.

2. He doesn’t worry if his engine isn’t the biggest you’ve ever ridden.

1. You’re guaranteed to get off at least once at the end of every ride!

More photos: IHJ

1,842 comments:

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Jake said...

Lube helps!

Anonymous said...

When you guys are on, you're on. That joke about the large solid blond creamer was the best thing I've heard in quite some time. :)

Hello said...

'Green' Jake Gyllenhaal supports conservation luncheon

Hollywood hunk Jake Gyllenhaal joined 600 people gathered at LA's State Historic Park on Thursday to celebrate the 23rd anniversary of the city's Conservation Corps.

Environmentally-friendly Jake – who got his hands dirty assisting with the building of a school garden at last month's launch of the National Green School's initiative – helped past and present members of the organisation and its supporters mark the historical day.

Founded in 1986, the LA Conservation Corps was established to provide 14 to 24-year-olds with opportunities through jobs, education and work experience, particularly within the conservation field

Photo: © Rex

with pic

Anonymous said...

:)

Anonymous said...

12:23, is that an old CCC pic? From when he went and he was on crutches? Looks like the same suit and shirt.

Anonymous said...

I hope, hope, hope this "thing" with Reese is over. Some things they did in the past makes me despise them together.


"with pic"

Jake looks happy and good here.

Anonymous said...

I think that pic of Jake is old.

large solid blond creamer maker said...

12:22, thank you. I write ads, 1-2 liner quips, can you tell? :)

Reese said...

IT'S NEVER GONNA BE OVER!! WHERE IS HEEEEEEEEE???? JUST TELL MEEEEEEEEE WHERE HEEEEEEEEEEE IZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!

Jake, Austin said...

RUN !!!

Anonymous said...

Creamy 12:43, I think some of you should be professional writers, if you aren't already, because you're very talented. :)

group hug said...

"When you guys are on, you're on."

You are right, what a family! :)

(((Mags and Pete
Gay Uncles
Naomi
Stephen
tea-bag lover Jake
Atticus the Perfect Gift Giver)))

Anonymous said...

:) They were all great!

Anonymous said...

I'm 12:39 and sorry 12:23 you are right that is a new pic. I think he wore the same clothes to the CCC as last time, LOL!

Anonymous said...

Btw there's new CCC pics at IHJ.

Today is National Day of Silence said...

Today is the 13th annual Day of Silence, which is the largest single student-led action towards creating safer schools for all, regardless of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression. Students across the country will bring attention to the issues of harassment and name calling of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) youth by staying silent.

link

Anonymous said...

IHJ gallery

Jake - Los Angeles Conservation Corps 23rd Anniversary Luncheon

Parents Across America said...

*Students across the country will bring attention to the issues of harassment and name calling of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT) youth by staying silent.*

Hey not a bad idea, maybe we should make it for a whole week!

Anonymous said...

Banning harassment and namecalling forever would be good too - speaking out doesn't hurt either.

Utah Mom and Dad said...

If the LGBT rights group can STFU our 14 kids for one lousy day, then count us in!

Anonymous said...

LOL!

Wrecked eardrummed Mom with son who has rock band practicing in garage every night said...

Does "staying silent" include playing musical instruments? *hopes and prays*

Anonymous said...

so boring... never thought i would say this but i hope to see some reeke pic soon to trash and laugh tirelessly about it! ;)

Dear Wrecked eardrummed Mom, said...

we are sorry to inform you that on the appointed day, students maintain only verbal silence.

We feel your pain.

Anonymous said...

Bite your tongue, 2:03 PM.

Anonymous said...

I thought the music is stopped too! :)

Wrecked eardrummed Mom with son who has rock band practicing in garage every night said...

Shit!

Anonymous said...

During a drought period like this one, are we allowed to discuss Heath,Kiki or gossips of people who are not gay?

six degrees of gay said...

We are ALWAYS allowed to discuss Heath, Kiki and gossip of people who are not gay.

There is always some gay story behind everyone :)

Jakey said...

There is always some gay guy behind everyone!

Jakey said...

Ok not everyone, just me.

Austin said...

I'll watch your back, you can count on that.

Jakey said...

Sometimes there's one in front, sometimes there's one in front and one in back at the same time and I'm in the middle and we play Connect The Cocks!

Anonymous said...

Good, because I love Heath (the LSBC) and Kiki too!

Austin said...

We aren't going to play "Connect The Cocks" again anytime soon!

Atticus the waterboy said...

Damn! All those trees at Daddy's fundraiser yesterday! I woulda had fun raising my leg!

Anonymous said...

LOL

"The LA Conservation Corps is the main source for trees in the LA area, and is responsible for planting and distributing over 80,000 trees for the Mayor's Million Trees LA initiative."

couldn't resist said...

Ted: Hey Jakey, can I play 'Connect The Cocks' with you?

Anonymous said...

^^Thank G*d! :)

Ted said...

This is fun! Let's throw in a Toothy clue, too: think he's jealous Mr. Goose's legs are better?

Ted's twitter

Anonymous said...

"Nice is about a magazine writer who accidentally kills her boyfriend and discovers that it’s easier to get away with murder than to get through a break-up, and finds a way to dispose of the body"


This is what Just Jared says is next Reese's movie about.
For some reason, i find very disturbing that is going to be starred by The Chin

Anonymous said...

^^

it doesn't say if the BF is gay

Anonymous said...

posted on OMG:

from a commenter on Ianundercover said...

"April 17th, 2009 at 8:35 am

Re: Ange falling over & crying = “poor angie” pr. Probably totally made up.

Off topic re: toothy tiles, friend of friend who was over last nite met him in ny just after donny darko came out, group of friends all went on nite out 2gether. This guy says they were all gay who were there that nite. My friend is gay also."

Jake said...

^^^ Those were the days!

2001 said...

"This guy says they were all gay who were there that nite."

Aww, I bet Jake misses his gays nights out :)

Anonymous said...

Shit! Photoshopping Jack/Ennis pictures should be prohibited by the law!

Ashton & Anderson

Jakey said...

"We aren't going to play "Connect The Cocks" again anytime soon!"

Why not? Are the confidentiality agreement forms on backorder again?

*cries*

Anonymous said...

So the bicycle promenade was for Austin's movie being premiered. Still wanting gays' butts in the theater seats.

Anonymous said...

Gays should support gays!

CDAN said...

From ent lawyer:

Uh oh. Does Jake know that Austin Nichols is out with Lou Taylor Pucci?

Speaking of Jake, he was doing some kind of charity thing here in LA yesterday.

CDAN

Anonymous said...

"Uh oh. Does Jake know that Austin Nichols is out with Lou Taylor Pucci?"

LOL, Ent Lawyer is bad :)

Anonymous said...

I’m sure Austin is a nice guy but I just can’t find him attractive. When I look at him all I see is forehead, ears and hair. lol

Jake said...

Austin can't display his best features in the public without being arrested.

Austin said...

"Are the confidentiality agreement forms on backorder again? *cries*"

Come, come, don't cry. I'm selfish and want you all to myself.

peen said...

Posted on OMG by corona

The pic on CDAN, what's that dark drawing thing sticking up behind Jake? I know it's supposed to be something else, but it sure looks like the head of a penis.

nope said...

"So the bicycle promenade was for Austin's movie being premiered.And last months bike ride?

Nah. You're wrong.

Anonymous said...

Look at Jake and Austin's eyes in those seperate pics. Wow, they both look tired.

Anonymous said...

^^I noticed that too, I wonder why they look so tired? ;)

Anonymous said...

^^wait for irritable troll to say "you stupid people imagining you can tell if they look tired in pictures. They look fine to me blah blah"

Anonymous said...

"I wonder why they look so tired?"

Reading good books all night? Playing video games? Spring cleaning?

Anonymous said...

Playing "Connect The Cocks"?

Chris said...

No, it was connect the cooks.

Austin said...

I hate to cook, so I got the best at both ends!

Jake, Chris said...

You're welcome!

Musto said...

The Closet Still Rules Show Biz

I have long deluded myself that, because the media has made so many advances in reporting on gay issues and personalities, and because so many power figures have stepped out of the closet, things have totally changed in the biz, and being out and proud has become more popular than hiding out in fear.

Then I went to an opening night party for a show and met some of the cast. One of them, who'd totally flamed around onstage (delightfully, mind you), turned out to be a bible thumper with a girlfriend. Another ambiguous guy who even called me "Blanche," was sporting a female on his arm. And a third performer, who seemed as gay as Ikea on Super Bowl Sunday, also puts the word out that he's het. And so, while the casual observer might have seen three big metrosexuals in the room, my weary eyes saw three giant closet cases.

Is show biz still such a terrifying place for the homosex that some people have to dissemble and play out a charade? Free answer: Pathetically enough, yes, it is! Don't forget that, even though a bunch of stars have come out, they only did so when they were already established and generally when they were already outed elsewhere. They had no choice! For someone on the way up, sadly enough, the closet is a place not only for props and makeup, but for identity too. This is so distressing I may never go to a party again.

Michael Musto

US Weekly Magazine said...

At the store glanced through US weekly magazine(the one with Mel Gibson on the front) had a blurb there that Reese and Jake took her kids to an eco resort in Costa Rica for spring break...

Anonymous said...

CA spring break was last week - April 6-12 ?

Anonymous said...

Spring break dates depend on the public school districts, and private schools differ also. No telling when it was, unless you really want to spend/waste time doing research on it.

Anonymous said...

Is show biz still such a terrifying place for the homosex that some people have to dissemble and play out a charade? Free answer: Pathetically enough, yes, it is! Don't forget that, even though a bunch of stars have come out, they only did so when they were already established and generally when they were already outed elsewhere. They had no choice! For someone on the way up, sadly enough, the closet is a place not only for props and makeup, but for identity too. This is so distressing I may never go to a party again.:(

Anonymous said...

It doesn't sound right, and unless there's pics of Reekefauxfam in Costa Rica I won't believe it. It could have taken earlier but there were pics of Jake dated 4/8, then the bike pics, Chin at the gym (hey that rhymes!) on Easter Sunday 4/12 (so why wasn't the religious good mother at church?), the Chin softball pics with the kids (so it's not like the kids went to CR then on to Africa to be with Daddy) etc. The logistics don't match up, and if they did why would you go to CR for only 3 or 4 days? Unless people do, maybe celebs do only go for 2 days, who knows.

Anonymous said...

"It doesn't sound right, and unless there's pics of Reekefauxfam in Costa Rica I won't believe it."

ITA

Paparazzi photos - IHJ
March 23 - Jake
March 25 - Jake, Maggie, Ramona
March 26 - Jake
March 27 - Reeke lunch
March 28 - Jake

Paparazzi photos - JJ posts
March 25 - Wednesday, Us Reekly
March 26 - Thursday, Jake
March 28 - Saturday, Reese
April 4 - Saturday, RDJ
April 7 - Tuesday, Reeke dinner
April 9 - Thursday, Reese
April 10th - Friday, Reese
April 12 - Sunday, Reese
April 13 - Monday, Reese

Anonymous said...

JJ - Friday, 10 April 2009

The chin "enjoys a morning game of softball with her two kids".

Sounds like spring break.

Anonymous said...

^^Only possibility between March 28th and April 4th.

Cuntera Notebook said...

"I found the best rendition sung by none other than John Barrowman—yes, our Captain Jack from the Doctor Who spinoff, Torchwood. (And hey, you Toothy Tile freaks, quit trying to turn Jake Gyllenhaal “gay” and start appreciating a truly gorgeous and versatile actor who is openly homosexual, would you?)"

Anonymous said...

"Only possibility between March 28th and April 4th."

Two questions for that:

1. why wouldn't Us Reekly report about it last week, (Wednesday, April 8)
2. why weren't kids at school on Friday morning, April 10th.

Anonymous said...

April 10th was Good Friday, the only day she was seen with her kids. If they go to a private school, they could have had a half a day off, the whole day or those pixs were taken after school.

Spring breaks vary, from the 3rd week in March until April 12th for most.

There were pics of Jake and Reese on 3/27.

There seems to be a gap of pics between 3/30-4/3, spring break for some in Ca, don't know if they would include Brentwood.

Anonymous said...

^^ I didn't bother doing a link because:

1. that's all she says

2. why give her site hits

3. if you do want to visit her site, google it and go from there so her sitemeter will record google as the referrer, not WFT2.

Anonymous said...

"Is show biz still such a terrifying place for the homosex that some people have to dissemble and play out a charade? Free answer: Pathetically enough, yes, it is! Don't forget that, even though a bunch of stars have come out, they only did so when they were already established and generally when they were already outed elsewhere. They had no choice! For someone on the way up, sadly enough, the closet is a place not only for props and makeup, but for identity too."

Musto isn't optimistic.

Anonymous said...

Reeke lunch, Reeke dinner - cracks me up. Doesn't sound very appetizing either. lol

Anonymous said...

Cuntera Notebook said...
"And hey, you Toothy Tile freaks, quit trying to turn Jake Gyllenhaal “gay” and start appreciating a truly gorgeous and versatile actor who is openly homosexual, would you?"

Hey, Cuntera sounds like our troll Chuck! lol

Anonymous said...

"I didn't bother doing a link because: 1. that's all she says..."

No problem, thanks for posting.
I think I'm going to leave/send her a comment this time :)

Anonymous said...

W/o TT Jake Gyllenhaal would be even more boring, if that's even possible. Now I like the idea of Jake and Austin and I can't stand Reeke, but I fear Jake is nothing but a sexualy confused wimp who likes to date Hollywood A list actresses to prove something. Like, "I can get em". Reese probably treats him like shit like she did with Ryan. All this TT hype made him interesting, w/o it, he's one of many decent, good looking actors in Hollywood. Nothing special.

I'm ready to be called Babbler, JiS promoter etc. Though I'm neither. ;) Just stated my opinion.

Anonymous said...

As for Austin. He seems to be a nice guy and I'm glad his career is doing ok. I hope for Austin that he is not the little goose on the side (like Ted C. put it). If he is gay he should find himself a nice guy, he can have a normal life with. But if he's also one who supports bearding, he's no better than Jake.
If Austin is straight and they are just friends, that's a different story. In this case I also hope he'll find a nice gf and maybe have a kid.

Anonymous said...

She better treat him right! If they are together, which I'm not sure of.

Anonymous said...

Reese can only bore Jake to tears. Reeke is 100% fake.

Cuntera said...

8:32 PM, 8:39 PM

Quit trying to turn Jake and Austin straight and start appreciating truly gorgeous and versatile actors who are openly heterosexual, would you? lol

Bearding Nicnames said...

Jake Gyllenhaal & Rachel Bilson =

Rakel
Jakel
Gybil
Bilgyll


Jake Gyllenhaal & Jessica Simpson =

Jasick
Sicke
Simphaal
Gymp
Aalsic


Jake Gyllenhaal & Sophia Bush =

Soake
Phake
Bushaal
Haalinbush

Anonymous said...

8:46 PM, I've just waited for someone to accuse me to try to turn them straight. Whatever.

Face-off said...

Hey Cuntera let's play a game. You be Somali pirates and we'll be Navy Seals.

Anonymous said...

LOL!

8:46 PM said...

8:47 PM #2

I've used name Cuntera + paraphrased Cuntera's sentence + added "lol" = I was joking.

Jake said...

I turn lesbians straight!

Reese said...

So do I!

Anonymous said...

"8:47 PM #2

I've used name Cuntera + paraphrased Cuntera's sentence + added "lol" = I was joking."

I didn't realize it. Sorry. :)

8:46 PM said...

No problem.

Anonymous said...

LOL you guys are funny. :)

PR said...

Bilgyll
Sicke
Phake
Haalinbush

Such lovely names! We'll definitely keep them in mind.

Anonymous said...

Bilson + Gyllenhaal = Biaal

(like bile)

Anonymous said...

Bearding stinks! :)

Anonymous said...

So Cuntera is the one who deleted Stephen's blogs entries (about Jake's "high wire act").

Cuntara said...

I'm just doing what's best for him!

Warmly, SG

Anonymous said...

I just went through the day's posts. Could someone tell me what 2:37's reference to Heath as "LSBC" means?

Anonymous said...

Papa's changed his blog to
Warmly56. It's still a mess, wiggles all about.

Anonymous said...

"poem" about Jake's "high wire act" hasnt been deleted from papa's blog.

LSBC said...

Stephen said...
To tell you the truth, we might have. Now that I think about it, I thought he was just taking poetic license when describing silver as blond, when he said he wanted a large solid blond creamer.

April 16, 2009 6:23 PM

Ennis said...
Jake said "he wanted a large solid blond creamer"?

He only should have asked.

April 16, 2009 6:37 PM

Ennis = large solid blond creamer

April 16, 2009 7:23 PM

Anonymous said...

Thanks 10:42. Speaking of Ennis. There's something I've always wondered. In the first night in the tent scene in "Brokeback Mountain", you can hear Jake say the words, "Fuck me" as the Jack and Ennis have sex. Does anyone know if that was in the script because it took me by surprise when I heard it.

Anonymous said...

Yes it's there.
Possibly added later on DVD by A.Lee, to make it clear that it's consensual sex and Jack is not a rape victim.

Ang said...

I didn't notice until doing post-production editing that Jack's lube bottle had rolled out of the frame.

Anonymous said...

Cuntara said...
I'm just doing what's best for him!
I think he stopped needing to have poopy nappy changed eons ago, but hey dude, whatever floats your boat.

Anonymous said...

LMAO, 2:20 doesn't get the joke.

Anonymous said...

okay, before I start, I know I'm committing one of the greating blog sins, getting information from Gyllenbabble, but hey what they heck here I go.

According to US Weekly -

Bathing suits? Check. Sunscreen? Yep. Solar heated showers? Of course!
Reese Witherspoon, 33, and beau Jake Gyllenhaal, 28, recently took her kids, Ava, 9, and Deacon, 5, on a spring break vacation to off-the-grid eco-resort Lapa Rios in Costa Rica. One night, says an insider, "Reese lost her room key and had to use a flashlight to go to reception for a new one!" Even with the children, the pair found time for PDA. Adds the source, "When they were eating breakfast and the kids were in the pool, they were super-affectionate!
I know all fairly sick making, my only is, doesn't this paint Jake as being a bit of a wimp. Reese loses the door key and has to treak to reception through a darken hotel full of strange insects etc (this is meant to be in the jungle) while Jake hangs back and waits.

Maybe;

1. Jake was happily tucked up in bed in his own room (maybe with a 'friend');

2. Jake was in the bar trying to bloat out the sham his life had become through hard liqour; or

3: Jake wasn't even there, but tucked up in bed elsewhere (a remote ranch in Texas maybe?) with a 'friend'.

Also, if true, the thought of having to witness breakfast Reeke PDA is enough to turn your stomach isn't it. Don't these people have any dignity and manners.

Ted said...

Posted on OMG:

From Ted's Twitter:

@tbuck1: Grey Goose is #toothytile's partner. He's almost as famous as Toothy. He's getting as tired as we are waiting for Toothy

Anonymous said...

I'm strictly a no pics, no believe person when it comes to Reeke. Even with pics you never know! Dumb fakers.

Anonymous said...

ITA, the Chin would never pass up the opportunity for a photo op showing how Reeke is so in love and a loving family with her as the world's best mother. I notice that whenever rags write about something Reeke did when there are no pics they always mention how they are so affectionate with each other and so in love, yet after 2 million pics of Reeke in action, there still isn't a pic of them that shows that they are cuddly and affectionate with each other. To me that's why items like this Cotsa Rica trip are pure PR written fiction.

Anonymous said...

^^ maybe we shouldn't question it all too much. Anymore doubting and poor Jakey will be bundled off for some staged poolside PDA with the chin. As we've seen, the poor lad's completely knackered, last thing he needs is some forced Reeking.

Anonymous said...

What the poor lad really needs is a backbone so he can dig in his heels and say NO!

Warmly56 said...

"Papa's changed his blog to Warmly56. It's still a mess, wiggles all about."

Could you please post the link.

twitter lol said...

tbuck1
@theawfultruth OMG.. I need more, I am just too slow. who the H$LL is Goose legs?

Ted
@tbuck1: Grey Goose is #toothytile's partner. He's almost as famous as Toothy. He's getting as tired as we are waiting for Toothy

tbuck1
@theawfultruth Dear Lord, this is like Algebra, is there any formula to these "names"? ha ha

Anonymous said...

Page Six

TRIPPING TIME

GUS Van Sant is turning Tom Wolfe's 1968 classic "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test" into a movie. The book chronicles writer Ken Kesey's LSD-dropping band of hippies known as the Merry Pranksters. Rolling Stone reports that Van Zant, the Oscar-nominated director of "Milk," originally pictured Heath Ledger in the role of Kesey, but is now eyeing Jack Black and Woody Harrelson. Van Sant is also helming the book's adaptation with Oscar-winning "Milk" scripter Dustin Lance Black.

Adam Lambert said...

On learning to deal with harsh comments, which Lambert admits he has seen while surfing the Internet, he said,

“About the judgment and the criticism, personally I've been made fun of my whole life. So I just kind of go, 'OK. Smile and nod.' To me I know I've figured out how to not take it too personally, and I think that we're all kind of figuring that out.”

link

the joker said...

GUS Van Sant is turning Tom Wolfe's 1968 classic "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test" into a movie. The book chronicles writer Ken Kesey's LSD-dropping band of hippies known as the Merry Pranksters. Rolling Stone reports that Van Zant, the Oscar-nominated director of "Milk," originally pictured Heath Ledger in the role of Kesey, but is now eyeing Jack Black and Woody Harrelson. Van Sant is also helming the book's adaptation with Oscar-winning "Milk" scripter Dustin Lance Black.I like this job, I like it!

Anonymous said...

"Thanks 10:42. Speaking of Ennis. There's something I've always wondered. In the first night in the tent scene in "Brokeback Mountain", you can hear Jake say the words, "Fuck me" as the Jack and Ennis have sex. Does anyone know if that was in the script because it took me by surprise when I heard it."

Its not in the script it's not in the film. This has been discussed ad nauseum on DCF for years.

Wash your ears out with soap you silly perv.

Anonymous said...

What's perv about Jack saying "Fuck me" ?

Anonymous said...

^^Nothing, it's beautiful.

Anonymous said...

"What's perv about Jack saying "Fuck me" ?"

Im kidding, you silly perv.

Anonymous said...

To 9:17/9:45: Irony doesn't translate to print very well.

Anonymous said...

I don't know, I’m still suspicious. I'll keep an eye on you, 9:17 AM. :)

helpful hint said...

If words are said in a film then they are included in the closed captioning. Set your dvd option to include the cc and see if the "Fuck me" is there.

Brokeback Mountain opera said...

Q: A while back, I heard there was a Brokeback Mountain opera in the works. Then I also heard the plan has been canceled. Any news? – Jett, Toronto, ON, Canada

A: It’s true that the New York City Opera, which commissioned the work from American composer Charles Wuorinen, cut way back on its upcoming season – another result of the current economic environment. The company did not get back to me with an official response, but as far as I know, the Brokeback Mountain opera is still in development for a 2013 debut.

Ask the Flying Monkey! (April 7, 2009)

Anonymous said...

Helpful Hint, thanks! I've scrutinized that scene thoroughly and I haven't heard it yet, dang!

Anonymous said...

The First Night in the Tent scene used to be available on YouTube. I saw it. Believe me, with the volume up, you heard it. I don't know if those flagged scenes are allowed on YouTube anymore. But trust me, Jake says the words. I dont' know anything about some discussion on DCF. But I am not deaf, and I heard it.

Anonymous said...

Other things about the Us Costa Rica trip story: no blog sightings of Reeke at the airports, hotel, anywhere? Did they take a private jet to an eco destination, lol? Why did the story run now and not earlier? Oh and why does only Us have the story, not other rags or sites? I can see why only Us would have the story if it's an exclusive, with pics, but where are they? All it is is a blurb?

Atticus the waterboy said...

2:49 said "The LA Conservation Corps is the main source for trees in the LA area, and is responsible for planting and distributing over 80,000 trees for the Mayor's Million Trees LA initiative."

80,000?
*checks Excel spreadsheet hanging in doghouse*
I've peed on 65,832 of them!

Anonymous said...

"Helpful Hint, thanks! I've scrutinized that scene thoroughly and I haven't heard it yet, dang!"

Don't worry, dang it, it's not there. Inflamed imaginations at work.

Anonymous said...

"Don't worry, dang it, it's not there. Inflamed imaginations at work."

Trust! if it were there, some brilliant Jakester would have slowed down the sound track and persuaded us. . .

Anonymous said...

"I've peed on 65,832 of them!"

Good boy! :)

Anonymous said...

Re: Ted's recent comments about Grey Goose, Jake is not coming out and Austin is not going anywhere.

Jake has his beard and his boytoy. He has no reason to change.

Anonymous said...

I think he has - bearding PR doesn't really work for him.

remaining fans said...

Dear Jake,

now we're convinced you're 100% heterosexual.

You can dump the beard.

rag report said...

Lindsay Lohan was spotted "cozied up together deep in conversation" with Leonardo DiCaprio at a Hollywood nightclub. Lindsay reportedly got up and started dancing in front of Leo, who "seemed to be enjoying it." [TheSun]

"She was going for the big catch and when she spotted him in a dark corner of the club she headed straight for him. She quickly monopolised his conversation and made sure she had him all to herself," a source says of the Lindsay-Leo encounter, "Lindsay is a sharp tac. She wasn't wasting her time chatting up small fish. She seemed interested in the gents with deeper pockets, probably because her career is on a downward trajectory."[TheSun]

UV said...

Dear Jake,

The other 4 believe you're 100% heterosexual but I'm not completely sold. Come over to my place and fuck me so I can be sure.

Btw you'll be my first time.

Anonymous said...

The bearding campaign is working. As long as most of the potential movie-going public thinks that Jake is Reese's boyfriend, it will mean he is straight in their minds. That is the primary goal. The secondary goal is for the "straightening" to make it easier for Jake to get roles. Jake just finished three movies in a row, but the real test will come with how he is accepted in Disney's POP. As far as additional roles, I think what happens between now and POP will be more of a real barometer.

So, I think Reeke will go on for at least another year or two. But don't worry, Austin isn't going anywhere.

Anonymous said...

"Jake just finished three movies in a row, but the real test will come with how he is accepted in Disney's POP."

Test of what?

Anonymous said...

"Jake just finished three movies in a row, but the real test will come with how he is accepted in Disney's POP."

Test of what?"

Im not 11:15 but I assume s/he means a test of whether the straightening in the public eye has worked.

popcorn said...

People didn't watch Pirates of the Caribbean because Johnny Depp is straight and popular.

PoP public will only care how good and convincing is Jake's Prince, and care much more how entertaining is the movie.

gay? me? said...

Vin Diesel denies rumors that he is gay and says he just likes to keep his private life private.

"I'm not gonna put it out there on a magazine cover like some other actors," he said, "I come from the Harrison Ford, Marlon Brando, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino code of silence." [Cotact Music]

Anonymous said...

Re: 11:15. The test of whether Jake is considered straight enough and masculine enough to carry off the quintessential hero role. POP doesn't even have to be a blockbuster as far as Jake is concerned. Even if the movie is only moderately successful, it will be a success for Jake if it increases his recognition worldwide and firmly establishes him as a "straight" male lead. And there are plenty of gay men who also think he's straight. So not everyone "knows" that Jake is gay.

As far as Austin goes, it doesn't matter if he gets fed up or not. He can't do anything about it. He's been enabling the bearding thus far. He hasn't got the guts to be out himself, so he certainly won't out Jake. If he leaves, Jake will just get another guy. Or he'll just go for the anonymous like he's been doing.

Anonymous said...

Much of what you say is true
11:39, but Johnny Depp hasn't really had to deal with the persistant gay rumours as has Jake.

Johnny's also much older and more firmly established.

Anonymous said...

People didn't watch Pirates of the Caribbean because Johnny Depp is straight, popular or firmly established.
Nor did they watch Indiana Jones movies because Harrison Ford is so very masculine.

Anonymous said...

POP doesn't even have to be a blockbuster as far as Jake is concerned. Even if the movie is only moderately successful, it will be a success for Jake if it increases his recognition worldwide and firmly establishes him as a "straight" male lead. ---- I see.

Like Fast & Furious franchise established Vin Diesel as a "straight" male lead.
Or how The Mummy established Brendan Fraser as a "straight"/straight male lead.

Anonymous said...

"And there are plenty of gay men who also think he's straight. So not everyone "knows" that Jake is gay."

All of the straight guys I know assume Jake is gay.

Jamie said...

Arnold Schwarzenegger will recognize the charitable contributions of his True Lies costar Jamie Lee Curtis when he presents her with the Courage To Care Award at the third annual Noche De Ninos Gala. [The Daily Express]

John Waters explains teabagging said...

Conservatives have taken to using the term "teabagging," when referring to their anti-Obama tea party protests. Boing Boing emailed John Waters to confirm the rumor that the term originated in one of his movies.

He wrote back: "'Teabagging' is by my definition the act of dragging your testicles across your partner's forehead. In the UK it is dipping your testicles in your partner's mouth.

I didn't invent the term or the act but DID introduce it to film in my movie Pecker. 'Teabagging' was a popular dance step that male go-go boys did to their customers for tips at The Atlantis, a now defunct bar in Baltimore.

Hope this helps. — John Waters" [Boing Boing]

Jamie said...

SCHWARZENEGGER TO HONOUR TRUE LIES CO-STAR CURTIS

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER will recognise the charitable contributions of his close friend and TRUE LIES co-star JAMIE LEE CURTIS when he presents her with an award in May (09).

The actor-turned-California governor played Curtis' secret agent husband in the 1994 action movie. And now he is set to honour his on-screen spouse by handing her a Courage To Care Award at the third annual Noche De Ninos Gala at California's Beverly Hilton Hotel on 9 May (09).

The star-studded event benefits the young patients at Children's Hospital Los Angeles and will also celebrate outstanding medical staff.

Anonymous said...

:)

a bit of Austin said...

April 17th, 2009

Can you believe that filming for next season of One Tree Hill begins in only eight weeks? But don’t assume the stars are taking a two-month breather—they’re hard at work on projects that many fans aren’t even aware of. ...

Hilarie Burton (Peyton) is also in the movie-making biz with her Southern Gothic Productions; and Monday she’ll be on set in Wilmington, filming Provinces of Night with Hilary Duff. Austin Nichols (Julian) just signed a two-year deal as a Tree Hill series regular; and he’s starring in Burton’s first indie film, Pedestrian. Sophia Bush (Brooke) took the commercial route during hiatus, and is part of fashion line OP’s Summer of Music campaign, along with 90210 beauty AnnaLynne McCord (Naomi).

link

NY Post said...

Austin Nichols, Just Cuz

Anonymous said...

Great smile!

Stephen Colbert Parodies NOM's Anti-Gay Marriage Ad said...

Stephen Colbert's politically conservative alter ego came out against gay marriage during last night's installment of The Colbert Report on Comedy Central, delivering a wonderfully ridiculous rant about the dangers of same-sex marriage before premiering his own anti-gay marriage video parodying the ad recently released by NOM (the National Organization for Marriage).

That NOM ad was ripe for parody, by the way. You've seen it, right? It's the one with the people standing in front of dark clouds, warning of an approaching "storm" brought on by gay marriage and announcing the formation of "a rainbow coalition of people of every creed and color coming together in love to protect marriage."

Comedy Central video

Anonymous said...

Sophia Bush is getting her tonsils taken out while she's on hiatus. (don't have a link but it's on ONTD)

Anonymous said...

Ouch!

Anonymous said...

That Costa Rica story is right up there with the London flat rental and the Egypt tour. Probably just the hotels attempt at publicity.

Anonymous said...

ITA

First Look: Ang Lee's Taking Woodstock said...

Advocate.com's exclusive first look at Ang Lee’s new film Taking Woodstock includes this photo of Liev Schreiber, who plays Vilma, a drag queen who serves as a bodyguard during the Woodstock festival. The film is based on the memoir by Elliot Tiber, the gay man who made one call and a few weeks later managed to stage one of the most defining cultural events in American history.

In this scene, which takes place about halfway through the film, Vilma is showing Elliot -- played by Demetri Martin -- a photo of himself and his lover when he was a marine in Korea.

James Schamus, the screenwriter of Taking Woodstock and CEO of Focus Features, which is releasing the film, says Lee, whose previous credits include Brokeback Mountain, describes Vilma as a sort of angel for Elliot, “someone who’s going to be watching over him and helping become who he needs to be.” Schamus phoned from a sound-mixing session to tell Advocate.com a little bit about the new film and why the studio that brought us Brokeback Mountain and Milk is going to impress us once again.

Advocate.com: So Mr. Schamus, tell us a little bit about the film.
James Schamus: Demetri Martin plays our hero Elliot Tiber, and he’s a gay interior designer who’s living in Greenwich village, but he’s gotten flat-broke and he’s at that horrible moment where you have to move back in with your parents for the summer. And his parents are the most nightmarish Jewish parents imaginable who run a crappy little motel in the Catskills in the middle of nowhere. It’s just a shit hole, and the bank is about to take it over. They’re behind on the mortgage, and he goes out there to help them out. And he’s trying to come up with schemes to figure out how to make money and save the hotel for them, and they always fail. And up in this Catskills town he’s actually the president of the chamber of commerce because there is no real commerce; it’s just a bunch of old folks sitting around. But every summer he gives himself a permit to hold a music festival on the front lawn of the motel.

And one day he hears that a neighboring town has thrown out some hippie music festival. So he picks up the phone, he calls Woodstock ventures, and goes, "Well, I’ve got a permit." And half an hour later they land in a helicopter, look at the dump of a motel and the swamp behind it, forget it. So then Elliot is like, "Three miles up the road is our friend who’s got a farm, let’s check it out." And three weeks later, half a million people are there. It's this crazy story of this guy who’s kind of a bit of a schmuck, but a lovable one who happens to pick up the phone and make one call, and one of the greatest moments in the history of human culture ever happens. And in the midst of all this, he’s also finding himself, and really coming to accept who he is as a gay man, and as somebody who can finally come out from the under shadow of his parents. And he literally, the last day of the concert, gets in his car and drives to San Francisco. And that’s the end of the story.

It's really lovely to have a movie which, you know again, we always say this, after Brokeback, you know, the floodgates of gay cinema in Hollywood were supposed to open. And you know, it's like, "OK, let’s do it again with Milk." I think what’s great about this is that you have a gay hero, and it's just not really a problem. There was something tragic in Brokeback, and you have the issue in Milk, but it is great to work on a movie in which it's like, "What’s the big problem?" He’s going to be himself. It’s very sweet. His gay identity is part of the story, but at the same time, so what!

Q: Is that really the central focus of Elliot’s book?
A: The thing is, his book is a memoir from when he’s a baby to basically the end of Woodstock. The movie, we’re not filming the life of one guy, we’re doing Woodstock. In this case, it’s really the story of how one phone call from one guy sitting in a motel in one little town in the Catskills triggered this whole unexpected tsunami in the culture. And he’s just this guy who just happens to be at this place, and it’s a wonderful story of how it really does change his life. How Woodstock helps him, and transforms him, and frees him from the situation he’s in.

Q: How did you get connected with the material and with Elliot?
A: It’s a hilarious story and not one that any writer should necessarily take as an example. Ang [Lee] and I were in San Francisco promoting Lust, Caution, and Ang was doing an early TV morning show, and the guy who had done the interview before, promoting his book, Taking Woodstock, was Elliot Tiber. And Elliot said, "Hey, you got to read my book -- it’ll make a great movie." And Ang took the book and started reading it, and handed it to me, and I was like, "This is the way to tell the Woodstock story, from Elliot’s perspective." Literally somebody was like, "Read my book," and it worked. Elliot is a hoot. He’s a truly great character.

Q: How involved is he in the film?
A: Not really, but he came on set the first day and was part of the ceremony. They’re reissuing the book this summer.

Q: And you wrote the screenplay with him? Or did you adapt the book yourself?
A: No, no, I wrote the screenplay.

Q: How did you decide on Demetri Martin?
A: Just when you see it, you’ll understand. It was really hair-raising, 'cause I just went out on a limb. I just believed in this guy. Honestly it was my teenage daughters. We all just kind of hang out and do homework together, and work together at home. And one day we’re taking a break and went on to YouTube and you see his "Demetri Martin Jokes With the Guitar" sketch and he’s got masses of views.

Q: So someone might have been cast from being popular on YouTube?
A: That’s correct. I just started looking at his stuff. It was kind of hard because he’d never been in a movie, but Ang came in and read him, and put him on tape and it was cool. But it's like, "Oh, no. It’s on me if it doesn’t work!" [Laughs]

Q: And Liev Schreiber plays…
A: Liev Schreiber plays Miss Vilma, who’s a friend of a friend of the village who stumbles on what’s going to be Woodstock and is helping do security at the hotel. The locals aren’t happy about the festival and are spray-painting slurs on the motel.

Q: And is he a drag queen or a transsexual?
A: I think he’s a drag queen.

Q: Was the music that came out of Woodstock part of your life?
A: No, I never went to Woodstock.

Q: But I mean, the music itself.
A: My brother had the album, and I always remember the album being around. And it really represented an idea of what it was like to be a teenager. But I can’t claim to be part of the Woodstock generation… I am slightly too young, I guess, fortunately.

Q: So have you cleared all that music to use in the film?
A: We’ve cleared tons of music. But the whole joke of the movie is [that] even though he’s three miles down the road [from the festival], he never gets there. There’s always something that comes up… He ends up having a three-way with Paul Dano and Kelli Garner in a van and they end up taking acid, and gets caught in mudslides and can’t get there till the very end, but you hear it in the background and of course we have a great soundtrack. So we have everything from Nash and Young to the Grateful Dead to Jefferson Airplane -- Richie Havens just came in and recorded a new version of “Freedom” for us. It's kind of hovering around the edges because it’s not about the concert itself.

Q: So you didn’t have the crowds to deal with…
A: Well, we have thousands and thousands and thousands of extras in the movie because they were all converging in the crossroads where his motel was.

Q: Going back to your description of the film, it sounds sort of like the “post-gay” idea. That phrase gets thrown out a lot. What do you make of that? Can we just skip past this issue, in that it doesn’t have to be the central focus of a film anymore? Do you think that gay subject matter derails a plot anymore in a viewer’s eyes?
A: I don’t accept post-gay. I don’t think we’re there yet. On the other hand, I think the way we get there is to pretend that we are. Just like, so what? So on one hand, I think we would be kidding ourselves if we said that it was a post-gay moment; on the other hand, I really believe that American audiences, if they’re not ready for just, in a very off-hand way, to accept that it’s just part of the story, and it's just very natural, and very real, and it's very human, then whatever, who cares. We’re going to act as if that’s the case. And I think in acting, if that’s the case, I think it's more the case.

Q: Not to get off topic, but speaking of a film that really tried to act as if it was not the case: I Love You Phillip Morris. You must have seen and had to consider whether to buy it, or did that film do it in such an extreme that maybe it didn’t work?
A: Well, I think the tonality of it was different. What I was saying was this is a movie in which being gay is not the problem. It's something that’s real that he grapples with as part of his life, part of his identity he’s finding. And the film really embraces that as part of his journey. It's very much a part of the story -- nobody’s shying away from it -- but it's like, for every gay character, why does that have to be the problem? Gay people have a lot of other problems… Like half a million people showing up in their front lawn. It's like, "Hey, let it happen." That’s kind of the attitude.

Q: I was talking to another filmmaker who’s casting a gay film, and he said the problem now is not finding an actor to play gay but to find one who hasn’t played gay this year. Did you find that to be the case?
A: [Laughs] That’s awesome. That’s fantastic. I always say the same thing; I’ve been saying this for years. Everybody’s charting the progress, and the setbacks, and letting every representation… And is it in them? Is it too political or not political enough? Did Proposition 8 [win] because… You know, you could drive yourself crazy. Or you can just get up in the morning and go, "Hey, another great story." The on-screen stuff we track, but I feel that really the progress is going to be when some big Hollywood gigantic action movie, with the hot babes and action hero, and the star shows up with his boyfriend on the red carpet. That to me, that’s going be the next moment. In the meantime, we’re still going to be making good movies and selling them, and being unapologetic about it. But we’re also being oddly breezy about this one. There will be some headwinds against it, like we didn’t make it problematic or central enough, and we’ll hear it and engage that discussion, but it's also important for the LGBT community to know that we’re out there at the front of the line, and have a sense of ownership of the movie and characters.

Taking Woodstock

Anonymous said...

"I feel that really the progress is going to be when some big Hollywood gigantic action movie, with the hot babes and action hero, and the star shows up with his boyfriend on the red carpet."

Jake, are you listening? POP May 2010, how about it?

Anonymous said...

Dream on

Anonymous said...

Vin? Are you dating anyone?

Anonymous said...

"Ang was doing an early TV morning show, and the guy who had done the interview before, promoting his book, Taking Woodstock, was Elliot Tiber. And Elliot said, "Hey, you got to read my book -- it’ll make a great movie." And Ang took the book and started reading it, and handed it to me, and I was like, "This is the way to tell the Woodstock story, from Elliot’s perspective." Literally somebody was like, "Read my book," and it worked."

Piece of cake!

Anonymous said...

^^John Barrowman was strongly rumored to be auditioning for Captain America.

Anonymous said...

Any new info about Barrowman and Captain America? I've heard that casting rumor long time ago.

$$$ said...

I can't imagine producers casting an out gay man as Captain America.

gamer said...

One more grab from the Prince of Persia movie

Do you guys think this will actually turn out to be a good movie? I’m hoping for a fun, entertaining popcorn movie…much like Pirates of the Caribbean. I think that’s the best we can hope for!

link

DL gossip said...

I remember an interview with Craig Chester years ago where he used Leonardo as an example of a gay movie star who wanted to come out but his people wouldn't let him. He used his name and spoke as if they had talked about it personally. Then Titanic came out and I never heard about it again.

---

Before Titanic, during Eclipse, he wanted to be forthright and come out. His management team had other ideas and he followed those. There was a semi blind item in 1994 or so which basically outed him then.

I don't blame him. Insiders know about him as well as about GC & JT but money and business always takes first priority in Hollywood.

Anonymous said...

Q: What characters have you not played that you would like to play?

Peter: When I'm a little older, I really want to play Col. Vershinin from Three Sisters by [Anton] Chekhov. Maggie [Gyllenhaal, Peter's wife] and I did Uncle Vanya this year and we're talking about it. It was so nice performing together in a theater that only has two hundred people max, one hundred ninety nine that there's no effort to sell.

It will never be something that transfers. It will never be a commercial product and we've always wanted to act together, but it's hard to do a movie together as a couple and then watch it bomb. How many couples have you seen do that and how horrible that must feel for them.

For us, we didn't know whether people loved it or hated it. We just knew that it was filled every night and they clapped and we didn't read the reviews. We just went home and we felt fantastic and we just want to do that as much as possible.

Q: Do you prefer the stage more than film?

Peter: I do like acting onstage more, but there's a craft to acting on film and it's very cool. I really like acting. So when you're doing a stage play you do tons of acting. Every night you act straight for two hours straight, plus and then you do it again. It feels good.

Q & A: Actors Sienna Miller And Peter Sarsgaard Explore The Mysteries Of Pittsburgh

Anonymous said...

New Reeke

Anonymous said...

IHJ gallery

April 18 - Reeke at The Coachella Music Festival 2009

Jake said...

OK, wrap it up, I'm done

former jake fan said...

OK, wrap it up, Im done.

Can't stand one more series of pix of the lil woman and her belly fat. And where does the bitch shop? Jeeze!

Anonymous said...

^^ I know, definatey a case of check the mirror before you leave the house love Jeez, she looks like a midget trucker from the back.

Anonymous said...

Jake: Can I please go home now?

Anonymous said...

Now this is what you want to see at a music festival.

eye candy Enjoy!

Jake said...

*sighs*

Anonymous said...

open fly

Anonymous said...

7:00 et tu brutus!

Anonymous said...

LOL

Anonymous said...

Don't look at me, I'm still thinking about the LSBC! ;)

Anonymous said...

LSBC....*dreamy sigh*

Anonymous said...

"Jake: Can I please go home now?"

Jake,

we have that same eww face expression watching your Reeke photo ops.

Anonymous said...

O gawd Jake, zip up!

Whadda coupla losers!

He's so disgusted with himself he doesnt even bother with the simplest of personal care? Has he taken to pissing in doorways, even?

(this is so sad.)

Anonymous said...

Most likely he used a porta potty, at this type event that's more likely.

He took a piss or dump and didn't zip up his fly like most guys, whats the big deal.

Anonymous said...

7:31 are you saying that leaving yr fly open is just a guy thing, and cool, or something?

Anonymous said...

going commando = hot

fly open = slovenly

Anonymous said...

I'm sure Jake remembered to zip up, this looks like wardrobe malfunction.

Reese the Fellatrice said...

Its so everyone will think I gave him a blowjob!

Anonymous said...

Yawn. Fuck off, chin.

Anonymous said...

Jake is a boring guy, he was interesting during BBM and because of his ambiguous comments about his sexuality to make himself more mysterious. As you all probably noticed, he likes attention. As an actor he isn't as charismatic and watchable like, say, DiCaprio, who I think is a closeted bi and his models are more beards than actual gf's, although I think he fucks them every now and then and helps out career wise like now with Bar Raffaelli (sp?). Jake's ok as an actor though, but I doubt anyone will flock to see his movies because he's in it (at least not anytime soon).

Anonymous said...

"Jake is a boring guy"

Jake was quite interesting even before BBM.

Anonymous said...

^^What was so interesting about him? I never heard of him before BBM.

Anonymous said...

Not even Donnie Darko? Donnie Darko was a cult movie before BBMt.

Anonymous said...

I heard of DD but didn't watch it and didn't know the actor's name.

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