J.G.

August 29, 2008

Dear Ted:
Ted, I love your wit, and the new retina-burning format is starting to grow on me. You said there's a Baby Tile — is there another one on the way? Is it Ben Affleck?
—Scutten

Dear Baby Q:
Such the good guess, babes, so right in so many brunet directions, alas, it's the wrong two-timing type.

Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
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September 2, 2008

Dear Ted:
After delving deeper in your articles and in others on other websites, I've come to a horrible conclusion — sure hope I'm 100 percent wrong — but is Toothy Tile Ben Affleck?
—strayerch240

Dear Spin Jen:
Oh, wouldn't that just give J.G. a kick in her softer spots, which, of course, don't exist, so what the ef are we talking about? Right age and acting oeuvre, wrong dude.

Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth