BT

August 20, 2008

Dear Ted:
Has Crotch Uh-Lastic ever invited Toothy Tile to swim in his pool? Have you ever used two different monikers for the same person?
—Peter, New York City

Dear Peter Patrol:
I believe no, and certainly not. That would be like double skinny-dipping!


Dear Ted:
Is Baby Tile Sunday Rose Kidman Urban?
—Reggie

Dear Det. Diapers:
Nope, but great guess, babe. Just not with Keith, as he's, um, greased in every heterosexual sense of the word.

Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
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August 22, 2008

Dear Ted:
What do you think of Jake G's new princely body? Hottie or nottie? I'd have liked it if only he had chosen to reveal it in the context of the movie and without doing a staged photo op with Reese in the middle of the desert. Everything they do together is too calculated and publicity conscious for my taste.
—Pete

Dear Go Jake or Go Home:
Jakey-Poo's ripped bod might be the only way to get us to one of his flicks. Rendition anyone?

Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
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August 26, 2008

Dear Ted:
Please don't be like Toothy himself when asked a tough question. Just give a simple answer. A yes or no will do. No beating around the bush or skirting the issue. Is there a Baby Tile?
—Tom, Mt. Laurel

Dear Gay Shooter:
Yes.

Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth