Tuesday 29 January 2008

The Cruel and Unusual Replies Have It

Dear Ted:
I just added egomaniacal Eddie Murphy to the list of people whose movies and shows I will not watch. He joins Rosie O'Donnell, Russell Crowe, Oprah and Tom Cruise. But here's why I am writing—Eddie Murphy is Toothy Tile, right? God knows he's Toothy.
Jeane
Walnut Creek, California

Dear Blacklisting Betty:
Eddie, Rosie, Russell and Tom aren’t too surprising celebs to leave a bad taste in people’s mouths. But what in heaven’s name do you have against Mama O? I’d think at least the cast of The Hills would wind up on a blacklist before Oprah. In any case, Eddie deserves a smart punch in his smilies, but he ain’t no Toothy.

* * *

Dear Ted:
I want to let you know I am currently on my deathbed and will be long gone before Toothy Tile is ever revealed. Can you just tell me? I will not reveal it to anyone!
Amy
Richmond, Virginia

Dearly Beloved:
My lips will be sealed at your wake. I'll bring a casserole, though!

Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth and The Awful Express

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hope that Ted continues to push the line that Jake and Heath were not close when Heath died, and that we should not cannonize Heath.

Anonymous said...

Ted mentioned that Jake and Heath were not close when Heath died ?

Wicked said...

Jackie, please let us know @ OMG if you need anything. Starting a blog is not easy.

Jackie said...

Thanks Wicked, I'll shout if I need help! :)

Anonymous said...

In any case, Eddie deserves a smart punch in his smilies, but he ain’t no Toothy.


Not at all sure what this means. Does anyone have any idea?

Anonymous said...

I just added egomaniacal Eddie Murphy to the list of people whose movies and shows I will not watch.

I think Ted just agreed with "egomaniacal Eddie Murphy" part (deserves a smart punch in his smilies) and answered the question (he ain’t no Toothy).

Anonymous said...

Posted on OMG

Jake Gyllenhaal High School Yearbook

School plays and disco club.

ONTD

Top Socialite

Anonymous said...

He is so much better looking now then he was then. I just saw Good Girl and October Sky. He was not attractive in either film. He wasn't even hot in Proof. And then *poof* (no pun intended), he just got hot after Jarhead. By Brokeback, he was completely beautiful.

What happened? Did he just burn off the baby fat in Jarhead?

Anonymous said...

Brokeback Mountain was filmed during the summer of 2004 - Jarhead was filmed later.

Proof - release date 5 Sep 2005
Jarhead - release date 4 Nov 2005

Some very cute boys don't turn into handsome men. It was just the opposite for Jake.

Anonymous said...

School plays and disco club.

Well, it could be gayer - musicals and disco club. :)