August 20, 2008
Dear Ted:
Has Crotch Uh-Lastic ever invited Toothy Tile to swim in his pool? Have you ever used two different monikers for the same person?
—Peter, New York City
Dear Peter Patrol:
I believe no, and certainly not. That would be like double skinny-dipping!
Dear Ted:
Is Baby Tile Sunday Rose Kidman Urban?
—Reggie
Dear Det. Diapers:
Nope, but great guess, babe. Just not with Keith, as he's, um, greased in every heterosexual sense of the word.
Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
***
August 22, 2008
Dear Ted:
What do you think of Jake G's new princely body? Hottie or nottie? I'd have liked it if only he had chosen to reveal it in the context of the movie and without doing a staged photo op with Reese in the middle of the desert. Everything they do together is too calculated and publicity conscious for my taste.
—Pete
Dear Go Jake or Go Home:
Jakey-Poo's ripped bod might be the only way to get us to one of his flicks. Rendition anyone?
Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
***
August 26, 2008
Dear Ted:
Please don't be like Toothy himself when asked a tough question. Just give a simple answer. A yes or no will do. No beating around the bush or skirting the issue. Is there a Baby Tile?
—Tom, Mt. Laurel
Dear Gay Shooter:
Yes.
Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
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442 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 401 – 442 of 442Maybe you have to imagine the future to make it come
I like that!
Right, Jake has a secret bf, a secret baby, a secret life and there are no rumors about it whatsoever, just Ted who's keeping us informed. It sounds too fictional to me.
Huh? Where do you live?
There are rumors about everything except a secret baby.
"Does Ted read this blog?"
Yeah i am sure
"There are rumors about everything except a secret baby."
Do you mean DL stories?
But there are rumors, have been for years. He himself said he has a private life that was different from his public life, and that that is the norm in HW.
Do you mean DL stories?
No, I mean blog posts, Internet gossip and rumors.
"He himself said he has a private life that was different from his public life"
When?????
When?????
:D UV you are such a tease!
I think Ted's stories are BS most of the time. I do think Jake's bi, maybe prefers men slightly more. The thing with Witherspoon..I can't put my finger on it.
From the very beginning I was sceptical about the Reeke thing, but their shameless and selfish behaviour in situations where they should have been low key made me dislike them together a lot.
"No, I mean blog posts, Internet gossip and rumors."
I meantTed seems the only one to tell accuratly jake is domesticating with boyfriend , have family, bla bla .
others don't say that , just remind us of the 'gay thing" like a joke or to say " hey do you remember the old rumours about jakey"
I'm a lurker, rarely post here, but come here because I believe one day someone is going to out Jake. Sooner or later is gonna happen unless he speaks first. So, I have time to sit, wait and see.
And I believe in Baby Tile. And since I haven't heard from Austin in a while and he's not working much lately, he might be at home with Baby Tile.
others don't say that , just remind us of the 'gay thing" like a joke or to say " hey do you remember the old rumours about jakey"
Others don't care about Jake, he's not a star, he's not interesting. And even if they did care, gay rumors are not welcome.
Whew, fortunatly the rare grandfather clock I ordered arrived yesterday , and is now displayed proudly in my foyer, but DeVito, your still colder than a witch's tit .( or a bitch's tit, which ever suits your fancy, I'm sure you've shagged both) I'll make a penguin pop out of you if I ever get my hands on you, you just wait my fine feathered friend. I've had just about enough of your shenanigans pal.
Now I'm sure you've heard about my engagement right? That's right genious, Jake and I are merging and you are not invited to the wedding. After the blissful evening we had the other night , how could he say no. Put that in your little pipe, place it in your beak and smoke it!
Jakey baby,
i know how it looks with me and Pitt in those pics, but after you left, *Pitty Party* showed up again at the diggs begging for aid and comfort. Being the "friend" that I am, I agreed to escort him to to the film festivities in Venice. Please don't read anymore into this than what it is . We are merely friends and nothing more. Those kids of his are running him ragged, I swear... I'm sure you understand.
Speaking of kids babe , I'm reading some gossip lately about YOUR kid? Did I miss something? As I remember, yesterday, that Austin guy did mention somethin about a kid, but he seemed kinda upset..this smells of one of DeVito's vicious rumors. You tell him, I got something for his ass if he tries to contact you ok? Hey, Did you hear the news about Martin? Twins?...Christ on a Krispy Kreme! I guess it's no more yacht parties, martini balls, or jet-setting for him huh? , he's gonna be up to his elbows in diapers and baby formula and babe, that's alotta bibs and burpin! It's great if that's your thing, I sent him a note of congrats babe, but I hope he's got a direct line to Dr. Spock's people. Oops, Got a call, text me later sweet prince. We'll do lunch next week.
Yours truly forever, Georgie.
Now I'm sure you've heard about my engagement right? That's right genious, Jake and I are merging and you are not invited to the wedding.
What???
4:02 It's HIS choice to hide himself by bearding and staying in the closet whereas a baby would be FORCED into hiding. Sorry but it's NOT the same thing.
To me, keeping a baby private doesn't seem necessarily unhealthy
Hiding =/= keeping private. For instance C. Bale is keeping his kid private but I wouldn't call a closeted bearing actor hiding a kid keeping private.
bearding
Being the "friend" that I am, I agreed to escort him to to the film festivities in Venice.
OK, I can understand that, but what happened in this photo ? You look like you saw DeVito!
Read it and weep Munchi! Ever hear of Walk Of The Penguins? away ! away!....
Jakey,
Oh, that pic? well, I thought I saw him there for a sec... turns out it was'nt him , it was some guy dressed like Humpty Dumpty. You know how these things go, they let anybody in. No worries my sweet pet, all is well, my security is here with me at all times. See you soon.
Georgie.
What about the leagal ramifications of Ted saying this? A baby with a boyfiend? That's a serious thing. Is Jake up for a media circus over this thing?? I think not...Ted must must have proof to back up his words huh?
"I'm a lurker, rarely post here, but come here because I believe one day someone is going to out Jake. Sooner or later is gonna happen unless he speaks first. So, I have time to sit, wait and see"
I doubt
"What about the leagal ramifications of Ted saying this? A baby with a boyfiend? That's a serious thing. Is Jake up for a media circus over this thing?? I think not...Ted must must have proof to back up his words huh?"
hard to believe
What about the leagal ramifications of Ted saying this?
Ted is writing about Toothy Tile.
You mean... he doesn't write about Jake openly. No legal ramifications, just ... rose petals.
Well, Ted is saying that Jake is bearding, but he doesn't say that Jake is TT.
Hiding =/= keeping private. For instance C. Bale is keeping his kid private but I wouldn't call a closeted bearding actor hiding a kid keeping private.
How do you know C. Bale isn't closeted and bearding?
I understand that C. Bale got pretty angry when asked about it. Maybe TT is taking a lead from that and keeping even more private.
I understand that C. Bale got pretty angry when asked about it.
Asked about being gay?
I understand that C. Bale got pretty angry when asked about it. Maybe TT is taking a lead from that and keeping even more private.
Yeah right.
Ted and his interns read this blog and OMG among others.
Ted hides behind BI to avoid legal action.
Why would Ted read WFT2 and OMG?
Ted and/or his interns read OMG and WT2 because they are primarily devoted to Jake is Toothy, Ted's favorite blind vice. Is there a single other website avidly promiting an alternate candidate for toothy? No.
Toothy is a single movie actor, by the way, re some of the comments above.
Is there a single other website avidly promiting an alternate candidate for toothy?
No need for that, Toothy Tile BI was solved long time ago.
In the Closet: Burn After Bitching
Tilda Swinton, Frances McDormand, Brad Pitt and George Clooney are bookended by the Coen Brothers while promoting Burn After Reading at the Venice Film Festival. They all may be a part of the same flick, but they fer sure ain't sharing a similar fashion sense.
...
Brad looks like a shiny pimp made out of limestone, and Cloonz could dress up as the Easter bunny and still look doable, that's never been his problem. Trouble is, the dull-colored suits are getting way boring, Georgie-Boy. We'd love to see ya sparkle with some hot pink hot pants for once. Take a fashion tip from slightly creepy and always kooky Tildy, who looks like she took a tumble in a sushi restaurant and had a bucket load of roe splashed on her shoulders.
In the Closet
Clooney, you bitch! I saw you holding hands with Princess Pitt. Film promotion my burning ass. You and your Brioni suits and Benigno shoes, your fancy talk and new veneers and promises and rings. It's all torture designed keep me on a leash. Yank me up, yank me down. Up, down. Up, down. You want me to be yours? Well, come and make me.
JULY 4 -- Crist Gets Engaged: "Longtime bachelor" Charlie Crist boosts his VP chances by tying the knot.
AUG 27 -- Chuck Todd Suggests Crist's Marriage Is A Sham: On MSNBC, the analyst says the wedding may be off if Crist isn't picked as McCain's VP.
MSNBC pundits this morning discussed potential running mates for John Mccain and whether there is a "glass ceiling" for unmarried individuals in politics. After Andrea Mitchell floated Gov. Charlie Crist (R-FL) as an example, Joe Scarborough noted that Crist is engaged. Chuck Todd suggested the engagement may be staged so Crist can be Vice President.
As the group laughed, Andrea Mitchell remarked, "That is so mean." "Wow," said Scarborough.
...
The idea that popping the question raises one's stock in the veepstakes is outrageous!
Jakey, darling, I didn't do it!
Chuck Todd suggested the engagement may be staged so Crist can be Vice President.
Ouch!
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