G.I. Joe is like watching fireworks with a blindfold on: it's deafening and you feel under attack. The story makes no sense — why does the Eiffel Tower topple over after being covered in sparkling slime? And worst of all: Sienna Miller and Channing Tatum, a charismatic guy whom The New York Times once compared to Marlon Brando, have the chemistry of two ice cubes. As my mind wandered, I started to imagine ways for the director to have reinvented the franchise for the 21st century. What if the G in G.I. Joe didn't just stand for "government"? What if it also stood for "gay"?
To many G.I. Joe fans, who grew up collecting the action figures, this might be blasphemy. Who cares? The best summer action movies — The Bourne Identity, The Dark Knight — always come with tortured heroes who carry around deep secrets. Imagine the dramatic possibilities! For starters, we could ditch Sienna Miller, which would be a big improvement right from the start. Duke's (Tatum) new love interest would be a male soldier. The movie would even strike a note of social relevance, given that our troops still adhere to "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" (i.e., Duke couldn't blab about his love life to any of his friends).
Hollywood likes to cast gay characters in supporting roles, as background scenery, but they still don't anchor movies that often. You can understand the cold feet: the movie business is about selling tickets to teenage boys, and even Brüno tanked. This week, there was a storm of protest online when Robert Downey Jr. suggested his onscreen Sherlock Holmes — scheduled to hit theater screens on Christmas — might have had a gay fling with Watson (Jude Law). Gawker described the "full blown gay panic" from conservative film critic Michael Medved. "Who is going to watch Downey Jr. and Law make out?" he asked. "I don't think it would be appealing to women. Straight men don't want to see it."
Medved's off base — the Sherlock Holmes screenplay doesn't even feature a male kiss, and action heroes have been a little gay since the beginning of the genre. Look at Superman's revealing red tights. Or Batman's "friendship" with Robin. James Bond is such a good dresser, he might as well be gay (at one point, Rupert Everett even wanted to star as a gay James Bond). So maybe it's just a matter of time before we see our first openly gay action hero. At 2 a.m., I'd wasted enough of my time on G.I. Joe. But before I fled, I wanted to check in on an elderly woman who had come to see the movie alone. She looked shellshocked in the lobby, but it turned out that she was only crying tears of joy. Apparently, she couldn't wait for the sequel.
I started to back away, but it was so late that I didn't think it would hurt if I sprang my idea on her. What if, in the next movie, G.I. Joe were gay? Would she still buy a ticket? Her face lit up. "Absolutely!" she said. "Just because you're gay doesn't mean you're not powerful."
Source: Newsweek, What If G.I. Joe Were Gay?
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I try not to invade your all's convos but I just wanted to point out that not all of us is sold on this BT idea. One day I'm all over it, the next I'm hemming and hawing, lol.
I think it would be a lovely idea under totally different circumstances. This business with photo op'ing with Reese's kids will always rankle me.
And I blame Reese for some of it but Jake also has the ability to say no and put his foot down. And he doesn't. So in that regard, he continues to disappoints me.
Although in the yogurt pics, he couldn't be walking hardly any further ahead. How different from the Martha V and the EJ concert pics. These people are just puzzling.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
I'm awkward in Pittsburgh
Jake Gyllenhaal came through my checkout at Whole Foods. I thought I was going to vomit in my own hand. So, I made the dude who was bagging for me take the order by saying "I gotta go."
I've only every seen two movies he's been in. It's not like I am a giant fan or something.
Todays Lesson: Go to the Andy Warhol museum. Learn more about making celebrity into an everyday occurrence.
Of course it occured to me that the photo opp was between doing other things, that is why I think Austin was probably in the car with him. No need for Austin to tag along just for a Reeking. Maybe Jake was running late and maybe that is why they all look so pissed.
And Jake could have been driving.
Jess and her blogging
Jake Gyllenhaal came through my checkout at Whole Foods. I thought I was going to vomit in my own hand.
WTF?!
"And Jake could have been driving."
Yes, his own car.
Reese was driving her car with the 2 kids.
Jake Gyllenhaal came through my checkout at Whole Foods. I thought I was going to vomit in my own hand.
Jake honey that cheap Avon crap isn't doing you any favors.
BT - Reeke started even before Rendition shoot, which was in fall/winter 2006. If BT was in production pre Reeke then that kid, if there is one, is about 3 already.
LOL, Jake turns straight boys on. This guy was asked, if he was a married actor would he want to be in kissing scenes.
TheAHuff: @tkmckamy It depends on who I'm kissing. If my co-star was Jennifer Love Hewitt... NO QUESTION! If my co-star was Jake Gyllenhaal... maybe
Turn them on?
I turn them gay!
Jake Gyllenhaal came through my checkout at Whole Foods.
Jake seems to love going to Whole Foods grocery shopping.
the stained shorts picture
5 years ago it would've been semen. Now it's a baby's foot. I hate my job.
Although in the yogurt pics, he couldn't be walking hardly any further ahead. How different from the Martha V and the EJ concert pics.
EJ concert and MV were Nowhere To Run photo ops, lol.
I love Hole Foods. Keeps me tight and healthy.
I don't know which is sadder: the Lord of the Ring fanfic or the BabyTile fanfic.
All these tales do is make Austin look like the world's dumbest doormat for putting up with Jake's shit.
Or maybe Ted's right, and he is just a "little goose on the side" and a self-deluding one at that.
Just the opposite.
Baby Tile fiction or non-fiction makes Austin look like Jake's precious secret love.
Either this is really an unhappy bearding situation or Jake is one difficult, egoistic boyfriend and she'd deserve better.
BT - Reeke started even before Rendition shoot, which was in fall/winter 2006. If BT was in production pre Reeke then that kid, if there is one, is about 3 already.
Less than 2 years.
October 7, 2008
Dear Ted:
Who is the most loving, sweetest and hottest hubby: Toothy's or yours? Is Baby Tile old enough to walk?
—Grace
Dear Tile-icious:
Mine. No.
Either this is really an unhappy bearding situation or Jake is one difficult, egoistic boyfriend and she'd deserve better.
Reeke is an unhappy bearding situation.
Reese is a smug bitch and doesn't deserve better anything.
Less than 2 years.
This means BT was conceived when Reeke already started. So, Jake knew he'd have to hide it. If that's the case, that poor kid.
I don't know which is sadder: the Lord of the Ring fanfic or the BabyTile fanfic.
LOL!!!!!!!
Yogurt pics at IHR formerly known as IHJ. 1 question: in Jake alone pic what's in the front crotch of his pants? A hardon, a newspaper/magazine/script stuffed down the front or what?
Extra topping for my yogurt!
^^Guys, I think he's pretending to be annoyed in the yogurt pics. I think I've slowly figured out when he pretends to be annoyed. Anyone agrees?
No, no reason to pretend.
1 question: in Jake alone pic what's in the front crotch of his pants?
I don't see anything worth reporting except stains on his shirt, lol.
Pretending to be annoyed? Nah. He didn't have to pretend:
Beard.
Pants & long sleeved shirt in 100F degree weather walking in a hot asphalt parking lot.
Probably figured out that the beard called the pap when she was on her way there to meet him.
^^^ That was photo op No 147, Jake knew Flynet will be there.
My boyfriend brought me some yogurt from there. At first I didnt know it was a self serve so I started to say how crappy the yogurt looked and how it was all crammed and unaesthetic, once I knew it was self serve, I praised how he intelligently managed to pack on so much fruit onto such a small cup.
I don't see anything worth reporting except stains on his shirt, lol.
That's because it's a low quality picture, but there is a stain on Jake's right shirt pocket.
Jake knew Flynet will be there.
Maybe not. IMO he looks a tad perturbed. We all know the beard was getting the shakes from Philly pap withdrawal and needed her fix in LA. She's camera ready and happy as a clam in the yogurt pics. She knew.
"I think he's pretending to be annoyed in the yogurt pics"
^^^^^^
I think we already know how Jake gets when he is REALLY annoyed (jury day kicking/spitting the pap,the car chasing episode,the drunk Chin night,etc.) ..
and then, there is the
*Jarhead disapproving face* the one he makes when he is supposedely angry. It's the usual mad/crancky face he thinks that makes him look dangerous and with an attitude..
Jake is getting dumber each day... :(
ITA with you 5:34 PM.
That's because it's a low quality picture, but there is a stain on Jake's right shirt pocket.
Umm I disagree. The "stain" is the same color of the other random "stains" on the lower front part all over his shirt, which makes me suspect they aren't stains but shadows. The kind of fuzzy shadows you get with an overcast sky. It was 100F degrees and normally would be clear but there were numerous massive fires going on at that time and the sky was weird. Thick and grey but orange-yellowish, with all the smoke and ash.
But you could be right.
Anyway screw the shirt LOL. No one else sees something bulging or pointing out of his crotch area? It looks like something is ready to burst. Or maybe it's my imagination. *sigh*
No one else sees something bulging or pointing out of his crotch area?
I see only Jake's cheap pants :)
I think we already know how Jake gets when he is REALLY annoyed (jury day kicking/spitting the pap,the car chasing episode,the drunk Chin night,etc.) .. and then, there is the
*Jarhead disapproving face*
"the drunk Chin night" LOL. You forgot the reach out and touch someone. Or would it be called the "I gonna slap you"
The "stain" is the same color of the other random "stains" on the lower front part all over his shirt, which makes me suspect they aren't stains but shadows.
I was talking about this: right shirt pocket
I see 5:53. Thanks. Maybe its from a pocket protector lol. We'll never know.
No one else sees something bulging or pointing out of his crotch area?
No, sorry! This post is just for you :)
Top TEN Celebrity Bulges!
When I decided to do this post, I knew it was going to take a lot of hard work, and if I, Willow Raine, am ANYTHING, it’s a hard worker. So, I spent hours, with some help, pouring over picture, after picture of bulge, after bulge, (*whispering* and some that couldn’t be classified as such).
All I know is, I am spent. It’s going to take, one, two, three showers to wash all of this, grime away, I am a dirty, dirty girl.
But I digress.
So, here are my top TEN bulges, approved by Taylor Blue, Jodie, and Spider.
For your viewing pleasure:
...
9.) Jake Gyllenhaal:
...
Top TEN Celebrity Bulges! (Not for the faint of heart)
What? Jake is just #9? How can Daniel Radcliffe's bulge be better? lol
A lot of fans are awaiting the release of the Disney adaptation of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. The studio has put out a few posters promoting the film, but we’ve come across an amazing costume display set up at the D23 convention.
Disney D23: Prince of Persia Costume Photos
You forgot the reach out and touch someone.
LOL
Reach out and punch someone!
A comment on the costume site Why is Jake Gyllenhaal standing like that in the poster? He looks awkward. IMO "Awkward" is the word that pretty much sums it all up. POP and the last 3 years.
7:26 LOL "punch someone" !!
Disney D23: Prince of Persia Costume Photos"
The headless male dummy is hot, way to strike a pose.
The headless male dummy
The perfect man. Buffed, well dressed and quiet.
It only took ten minutes for my comment about Jake arriving in his own car and taking yogurt home for his own family to be deleted from GB. I guess UV/Fl really don't have lives, do they.
UV/FL are the self-appointed sentrys of the "Jake is straight" regime. Always on duty, ready to fight, troll, defend and delete 24/7.
What's GB and for the heck of it, what, who or why is UV/FL?
thanks
Someone already pointed out that Baby Tile was conceived during the period when Jake and Austin were on the verge of coming out. Now they have to deal with the consequences. Many think the bearding is not just to make them look straight, but to help hide the baby as well.
"Many think the bearding is not just to make them look straight, but to help hide the baby as well."
The "baby" is - if existing - not a baby anymore and must have started speaking, walking, sozialise with friends and so on.
Will be interesting how to hide it much longer.
The "baby" is - if existing - not a baby anymore and must have started speaking, walking, sozialise with friends and so on.
That's already been discussed above. The hypothetical baby wasn't walking in October 2009, so is probably now less than two years old.
A comment on the costume site Why is Jake Gyllenhaal standing like that in the poster? He looks awkward.
That's a typo, it should be "He looks awesome"!
What's GB and for the heck of it, what, who or why is UV/FL?
GB is GyllenBabble "Jake is 100% straight and Reese is wonderful" blog run by UV and FL - UltraViolet and Fluorescent Lamp.
UV and FL are die hard Jake fans who post on IHJ forum and who helped to turn Dave Cullen's BBMt forum into another "Jake is 100% straight" place.
Hope this helps.
It only took ten minutes for my comment about Jake arriving in his own car and taking yogurt home for his own family to be deleted from GB.
Bad fan!
Many think the bearding is not just to make them look straight, but to help hide the baby as well.
I agree, even though I still can't believe Jake and Austin would do something like that :)
The hypothetical baby wasn't walking in October 2009
^^Typo- You meant 2008, right?
October 7, 2008
Q: Is Baby Tile old enough to walk?
A: No.
"Less than 2 years old" - BT might even be 14 or 18 months old. The footprint was perfect for less than 2 years wasn't it. Not only in size and sole shape but like it was being held up and helping it stand.
Someone already pointed out that Baby Tile was conceived during the period when Jake and Austin were on the verge of coming out. Now they have to deal with the consequences. Many think the bearding is not just to make them look straight, but to help hide the baby as well.
That must have been pre Rendition shoot then. That's when Reeke sightings etc. started and that was around winter 2006. That kid must be about 3 years old by now.
That being said, IMO there's no BT.
Car situation - Jake is entering the same car as Reese and the kids. But it seems that she drives as Jake enters the by dirver's side of the car. Check the thefashionspot.com and ihj pics on ihj (eye candy).
thefashionspot.com
IHJ
co-driver
Peter Travers saw Shutter Island and says it's a great movie. Mad Travers.
LOL.
^^^ Why LOL? :)
Car situation - Jake is entering the same car as Reese and the kids.
There is no picture of Jake entering any car.
Why LOL? :)
Because he seems so passionate about it. I guess he's a Scorsese fanboy. ;)
Passionate is good! :)
Passionate is good! :)
IA. ;)
Here's probable proof that pap agencies play with dates. X17 says Reese was at Whole Foods in Westwood on
Wednesday. IIRC she's been in Philly last couple days.
The bruise/injury on her arm X17 talks about. Makes me wonder. Whatever it's from, it makes Jake look bad to the "Reese and Jake are a real couple" general public. I almost wonder too if she's not exploiting it by the way she's lifting her arm to show it, the same way she made sure to take her sunglasses off a few months ago so her black eye could be seen. She damn well knows that when a pap or gossip sees shit like that they're going to mention it in their column and give vague insinuations. Considering how Jake has been papped in the last 9 months as having a temper and being impatient, Reese being seen with bruises and black eyes doesn't fare too well with his image. IMO she knows this and will use it to her advantage. Not as a real issue she would talk about but as a read-between-the-lines thing to gain public sympathy. Reese always has to be the poor victim/strong woman/winner. However and whenever Reeke ends, Jake will not look good.
Btw every time I see her in an ugly outfit I think it can't get any worse but it does. This one has got to be the worst one yet. My gawd. Why is she wearing a knit cap on her head in 85/90 degree weather? She's also starting to look so emaciated like she's starving herself or purging or worse (the other end).
That must have been pre Rendition shoot then. That's when Reeke sightings etc. started and that was around winter 2006. That kid must be about 3 years old by now.
Wasn't Jake spotted with a suspected sonogram in summer 2007?
You don't have a sonogram for a born baby.
If there is one.
There is no picture of Jake entering any car.
True.
Side by side pictures of "Jake's car" and chin's car. Chin's car has a silver line that isn't there on "Jake's car".
yogurt cars
Car situation - Jake is entering the same car as Reese and the kids.
Which car? Reese's black car that someone painted red, redesigned and moved to a different spot while they were inside buying yogurt that Jake is walking next to, not entering, or some magical invisible car that only you can see?
yogurt cars
LOL
Not as a real issue she would talk about but as a read-between-the-lines thing to gain public sympathy. Reese always has to be the poor victim/strong woman/winner. However and whenever Reeke ends, Jake will not look good.
Reeke PR is making Jake look like a dumb wimp from the very start because it's easier to sell "Reese is a winner and a strong woman" crap. When Reeke ends Reese will make sure to get the best possible PR out of that, no question about it.
Side by side pictures of "Jake's car" and chin's car. Chin's car has a silver line that isn't there on "Jake's car".
Jake's pic is quite blurry. I think there's no way to tell if it's the same car or not.
Reeke PR is making Jake look like a dumb wimp from the very start
An LMAO example:
November 13, 2006
"Jake is ripe for the picking. He hasn't had a serious relationship since splitting with Kirsten Dunst two years ago. He has a history of romancing his beautiful co-stars. When he makes eyes at Reese, you can bet there'll be fireworks."
Wasn't Jake spotted with a suspected sonogram in summer 2007?
Can someone post the picture?
If they conceived the kid sometime in 2007, Reeke already started and Jake knew he'd have to hide it. For Jake and that kid, I hope BT is just a fairytale.
Jake's pic is quite blurry.
Chin car's silver line goes from back all the way to the side of the car - it would be visible in Jake's picture, so it looks like two different cars to me.
yogurt cars
The Activia 2-door sedan with GPS keeps your digestive system on track while the Activia sport-utility model helps resist wear and tear in the rough back-road areas.
LOL
He has a history of romancing his beautiful co-stars.
Since when?! LMAO
Since he's straight!
Wasn't Jake spotted with a suspected sonogram in summer 2007?
September 4, 2007 - Jake Visiting A Medical Office In LA
Witherspoon + kids
Jake
I wish Jake's picture was a tad clearer. The red stripes on the floor are in both pictures.
Different cars.
Anonymous said...
Wasn't Jake spotted with a suspected sonogram in summer 2007?
September 4, 2007 - Jake Visiting A Medical Office In LA
September 11, 2009 7:00 AM
Thank you for posting.
Are you sure it is a sonogram he's holding, couldn't it be a prescpription of some sort?
Or is it similar in the US as to my country, where the sheets of prescriptions are yellow?
September 4, 2007 - Jake Visiting A Medical Office In LA
You mean the white paper he's holing in his hand? Could also be a prescription.
Or is it similar in the US as to my country, where the sheets of prescriptions are yellow?
In my country they are white.
Different cars.
Could be or not...
The angle of the red stripes in relation to the cars are different, which means it was 2 different cars both parked in red zones. Stars are special!
Are you sure it is a sonogram he's holding, couldn't it be a prescpription of some sort?
There is no way we can be sure :)
Anonymous said...
September 4, 2007 - Jake Visiting A Medical Office In LA
You mean the white paper he's holing in his hand? Could also be a prescription.
September 11, 2009 7:13 AM
Yes, and that was what I was thinking too. (unless it would have been yellow, the distinction would have been easy... :-) )
The angle of the red stripes in relation to the cars are different,
To me they don't look different. I could be wrong though.
The angle of the red stripes in relation to the cars are different
Yes, the angle is very different.
Posted on OMG by Tabby
Did anyone check out this week's Us Weekly?
There was nothing in this week's US Weekly but Abbie Cornish's movie opens a week from today so they may be planning a full scale Reeking to coincide with that.
Only problem with it being a prescription is that Rx's aren't that large in size and they aren't on that thick and stiff type of paper. What Jake's holding in his hand isn't moving as he's walking, and it's pretty thick that you can't see anything written on the other side. Not that you could, just saying that Rx's are on flimsy paper. As for Schedule 2 Rx's (aka "Triplicates") those are on longer, blue shaded paper. They used to be on white paper but IIRC with a yellow copy underneath. But I doubt he'd be carrying around a Sched 2 Rx in public open for the paps to see. LOL. A sonogram, sure - easy to get all excited about it, first thing is to make that important call, want to look at it while you're talking about it and describing the feeling, and forget that oops, you're outside the building. He put it in his pocket asap.
About the yogurt cars (lol). IMO it's 2 different cars.
Also consider the yogurt cups Jake is carrying. One in each hand and 2 in a bag. One in his hand is for him, the other for someone else, i.e. immediately for someone else. Otherwise it would have gone in the bag. Even if both cups were for him, why not put it all in a larger cup? Also his past history shows he really doesn't eat that much, when have we seen him carrying or eating two containers of anything.
More Disney D23 Expo Pics
Even if Jake came with them in the same car it looks bad. He hurried out ahead of everyone with his treats and hopped in the front seat and gobbled his yogurt and waited while Reese had to help the kids get in the car while balancing their yogurt cups and shut the door after them. Stepfather my ass, more like a big self-centered kid.
Stepfather my ass, more like a big self-centered kid.
;)
No time to waste, I've got places to go, people to see!
Jakee's still so young and a good looking fellow. He should go out with freinds and date people (male, female w/e) w/o small kiddies.
No time to waste, I've got places to go, people to see!
I've got things to see, people to do!
I totally get the sense that Reese is scared shitless to lose that thing (whatever that is) with Jake.
Check out how she's looking at him. I see red for them, really.
Jakee's still so young and a good looking fellow.
BAD typo! lol
I've got things to lick, strangers to hump.
BAD typo! lol
LOL. I noticed it too. Ha! ;)
Check out how she's looking at him.
What do you mean, 8:19 #2?
Jakee's still so young and a good looking fellow.
Typo? I hate it when I don't *get* it! Someone explain! Please!
^^
Jakee
Who has ee in the name?
What do you mean, 8:19 #2?
here
Check out some other pics where she looks at him similarly.
I think he's an egocentric, a tad arrogant guy who isn't ready for commitment yet whether real relationships or bearding. JMO.
Jake is 100% committed to bearding, but sometimes he can't hide that he wants to be somewhere else.
I still laugh about those pics a few months ago where a smiling happy playful Jake was laughing and having fun with the paps while Reese was sitting in the drivers seat of the car looking like an angry soccer mom waiting for her son to get his ass in the damn car, and as soon as smiling happy Jake got in the car and shut the door BAM! his face dropped and he looked like he was on a ride to hell.
I remember those lunch in the open pics. Poor Jake :)
LOL The Ride In Hell
8:28 am, looking at that pic, to mean I think she has a look on her face like What the fuck? He walking far ahead, looking straight ahead and not even near her and the kids. If this photo op was supposed to show the happy family out for a treat together, it fails miserably. Jake looks like he doesn't want to be there and can't wait to leave and Reese looks annoyed at him for acting like that and annoyed that she has to herd the kids into the car by herself.
Reese is annoyed because Jake ruined perfectly good photo op. LOL
IMO yogurt was an impromptu photo op set up by Reese behind Jake's back.
8:49, IDK to me Reese looks desperate, reminds me of the desperate looks another actress used to give to her SO who dumped her shortly after.
IMO yogurt was an impromptu photo op set up by Reese behind Jake's back.
Why would Reese do that after 100+ Reeke photo ops?
Why would Jake mind after 100+ Reeke photo ops?
How come when I'm meeting Reese somewhere paps always show up? I don't understand how that happens.
Reese the desperate
Witherspoon
8:49, IDK to me Reese looks desperate, reminds me of the desperate looks another actress used to give to her SO who dumped her shortly after.
There is no dumping in the fauxmance contract, just contract termination and expiration clause.
Reeke
She's so pathetic.
Why would Reese do that after 100+ Reeke photo ops?
Why would Jake mind after 100+ Reeke photo ops?
Reese is desperate for PR especially after the Philly drought.
IMO Jake knows he's getting over exposed and used by the beard.
IMO Jake knows he's getting over exposed and used by the beard.
In thay case Jake needs a better attorney.
And better PR team.
I also think Jake fears overexposure. It's understandable, I may add.
Reeke
She's so pathetic.
IA. What's hilarious and so very telling about that set of WeHo shopping pics is as soon as they left the store full of people, they quit holding hands. 2 steps out the door and all of a sudden their hands became allergic to each other. LOL. This "holding hands" crap was and still is all about making a statement "LOOK! WE ARE A COUPLE! JAKE IS STRAIGHT AND REESE IS DESIRABLE AND YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL!"
I think Jake is as much responsible for the photo op as Reese is. He is willing to be there and he knows the paps will take pics. It's his choice too. He is not a victim of Reese.
What I don't understand about the argument that Reese is always the one who calls the paps behind Jake's back is that then it means he just go out with the beard and her kids because he enjoys spending his private time with then?
^^I think they want to make "it" as authentic as possible. There's really a possibility they spend time with each other even when they don't arrange ops. They need to be careful.
^^^ Babblers come in many forms and shapes!
Babblers come in many forms and shapes!
Do you really think Babblers post here, except for this weird imdb Jake freak, Jack/Jeff? I doubt anyone who posts here is a fan of either Reeke or Reese. People have just different opinions about Reeke, but I doubt anyone here likes them.
"Reese and Jake holding hands"
"Lovebirds Reese and Jake"
"Tiny yet gorgeously stunning actress Reese Witherspoon and her Rendition* costar hunky actor Jack Gyllenhall"
"Beautiful Academy Award-winning highest paid actress and Avon Global Ambassador, wonderful mother of two Reese Witherspoon and her boyfriend"
*DO NOT USE "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN"
Blind Vice: Topher Hairy-Tuchus Gets Caught in Bed!
We're just crazy for debauchery here at Blind Vice central! On top of our fab 'n' fierce Blind Vice Superstars gallery, we've got another Blind first today: a Vice candidate appearing two weeks in a row!
Now, last week's inaugural Blind Vice about Topher Hairy-Tuchus brought all kinds of hilarious reactions, my personal fave being a comment from hmmm (could you get a little more original with your moniker, bitch?) who stated: "Sorry but this sounds made up..Ted printed an email the other day that complained how boring the straight Blind Vices are and he needs more gay ones, all of a sudden all of these gay Blind Vices happen to be appearing."
Are you for real, "hmmm"? A.T. is usually all about the closeted gay dudes, and besides, not only do we never make this naughty stuff up (ever) we've since heard back about Topher's earlier life, back when he was married.
Turns out he likes to take chances, just like he did with that anonymous Internet dude he tried to have sex with through a sheet. So when Hairy-Tuchus had a female spouse, he had the nerve to...
Bring a guy back to his house and get down to it on the bedroom he shared with his wife! Too bad they don't put in anything about protecting the sanctity of the marriage bed in those vows, huh? And, as soon as hot Hairy and his hunky minuteman were about to complete the manly act, guess who walks in on him?
Yep, the missus. To say she was pissed is to say I'm hot for Robsten. But it also explains a few things:
If anybody's caught on recently why Hairy's fake relationships with various starlets these days is so upsetting his ex, this is most likely one of chief reasons why. He can prance out ersatz honeys for camera, but not her? Yep, apparently it's an utter impossibility for Topher to be under-the-radar cool like Crotch Uh-Lastic or even the recently whipped Toothy Tile. He can't keep the fact that he likes dude somewhat discreet (as long as he's choosing to stay in the closet), he just has to—as usual—take chances and parade all kinds of risk-taking measures for many to see.
Gambling guy, this one is, for sure.
Oh, and another thing: THT's dangerous man-activities are not only well known in many professional circles, these antics are now ripping through the hallways of Hairy-Tuchus' agency with a force he'd be smart to try and cool down.
But how boring would that be?
And It Ain't: Will Smith, Tom Cruise, George Clooney
The Awful Truth
I doubt anyone who posts here is a fan of either Reeke or Reese.
Trust no one unless you have eaten much salt with him.
- Cicero
^^And I think some posters here are paranoid. ;)
Celebrity Photos: Blind Vice Superstars!
Jake Gyllenhaal
Jakey's Mr. All American Boy—the (seemingly) perfect sweetheart on his arm, totally jacked up guns and dimples that could kill. But as the saying goes, if something's too good to be true, it totally isn't.
Reese Witherspoon
Crafty Reese is all southern accent and blonde girlie charm, but deep down inside, you know this petite babe who originally wrangled rough stud Ryan Phillippe has what it takes to get what she wants and fool the rest.
The Awful Truth
There's really a possibility they spend time with each other even when they don't arrange ops.
Here's my take on the yogurt scenario: Reese called Jake and said that after she picks the kids up from their schools that she was taking them out for yogurt to celebrate the first day/week of school, and would he want to join them if he's going to be in the area? She was probably already planning on having a pap there for the "good mother" photo op but even better if the bf is there too. IMO she isn't telling the kids or Jake a pap is going to be there. Why ruin the spontaneity?
^Celebrity Photos: Blind Vice Superstars!
Kirstin Dunst
Rehab obviously didn't work out for KiKi, whose still slobbering around the H'wood scene with a bunch of C-list losers, so La Lohan of her, really. Poor girl's been out of it ever since breaking it off with Jake Gyllenhaal—could that relaysh be part of the blame for K.D.'s backwards behavior?
Natalie Portman
Little Miss Harvard Degree isn't everything she seems. Believe it or not, Nat's been known to commit a few sins around H'wood herself. She's just a pro at keeping them clandestine!
"the recently whipped Toothy Tile"
whipped: Being completely controlled by a woman to the point where you will do or say anything that she tells you to.
Why ruin the spontaneity?
What spontaneity? There was never any spontaneity for Jake, starting with awkward Rome 2007 photo ops.
jacked up guns
What are jacked up guns? Thanks.
9:41 AM, could be.
Little Miss Harvard Degree isn't everything she seems. Believe it or not, Nat's been known to commit a few sins around H'wood herself.
REALLY? No way!!!
jacked up:
(Adjective )informally used to describe something that is not quite right.
high on some kind of upper, coke, speed, ecstacy, etc. Having used a large quantity of speed, cocaine, or other amphetamine.
I think Jake thought Reeke would become the next Brangelina, and instead it has turned him into a laughing stock. He signed up for this, and I'm betting they have all kinds of provisions in that contract about how often they're seen together, papped, etc.
I think the Reeking we've had since he came back from filiming PoP in particular has just made him look worse and worse, and maybe he's finally beginning to realize it. Now even when he's alone nobody cares anymore--he got what, 25 comments on JJ for his last pictures, while the Sophin post was at 125 comments when I last looked at it.
Blind Vice Superstars: Jake/Toothy is number 13. LOL
Kirstin Dunst
Rehab obviously didn't work out for KiKi, whose still slobbering around the H'wood scene with a bunch of C-list losers, so La Lohan of her, really. Poor girl's been out of it ever since breaking it off with Jake Gyllenhaal—could that relaysh be part of the blame for K.D.'s backwards behavior?
Even with Jake she behaved like a drugged, drunk punk. I think it got worse after Jake dumped her. But she looks better recently, so maybe she's on the right path now?
(Adjective )informally used to describe something that is not quite right.
high on some kind of upper, coke, speed, ecstacy, etc. Having used a large quantity of speed, cocaine, or other amphetamine.
TY. :)
IMO she isn't telling the kids or Jake a pap is going to be there. Why ruin the spontaneity?
Why are you so desperately trying to explain Jake's "who gives a shit about the beard" behaviour? The only reason Jake was there is to do a photo op.
Jake is sometimes good at pretending, sometimes not - closeted actors are only human.
I think Jake thought Reeke would become the next Brangelina, and instead it has turned him into a laughing stock.
Even Brangelina are a laughing stock, let alone Reeke.
At least Pitt, even though he's a pretty mediocre actor, is in really cool movies. Inglorious Bastards was "tha bomb". Tarantino rocks.
The only reason Jake was there was for the free yogurt.
Jake Gyllenhaal
Jakey's Mr. All American Boy—the (seemingly) perfect sweetheart on his arm, totally jacked up guns and dimples that could kill. But as the saying goes, if something's too good to be true, it totally isn't.
TT was described as having dimples. LOL
9:55 AM, some people's opinions re. Reeke may differ from yours! Everyone has a right to voice their opinions.
You really think Brangelina are laughing stocks like Reeke? People may hate the way they are attention whores, but a lot of that is genuine interest, not manufactured like Reeke. And the relationship is real, so you don't get people dumping on them for that. Plus Brad isn't nearly as whipped as Jake.
9:55 AM, some people's opinions re. Reeke may differ from yours!
You can't be serious about "why ruin the spontaneity" and "Jake isn't informed about Reeke photo ops" arguments.
Opinions are fine, but there is such thing as common sense.
the recently whipped Toothy Tile
Does Ted mean:
1) Jake whipped since Reeke started
2) Jake whipped recently, like within last few months
And also is Ted saying:
1) Jake is whipped now
2) Jake is no longer whipped
^^ I know that probably sounds weird lol but "recently whipped" could mean "newly whipped" or "formerly whipped" IMO.
Even Brangelina are a laughing stock
Not true.
^^Some posters here talking about common sense... pfft!
Reply to 10:10.
Some posters here talking about common sense... pfft!
Babbler, your colors are showing :)
Not true.
Most people in my private life don't take them too seriously. But maybe it's different with your acquaintances/friends?
Johnny Depp, DDL, Penn, Clooney etc... seem to be respected actors in the general public.
Babbler, your colors are showing :)
LOL and yawn.
^^^ Don't bother, you aren't fooling anyone.
Most people in my private life don't take them too seriously.
Brangelina are entertainers, no one should take them seriously. They are publicity whores, but the point is that there is no reason for Brangelina to be a laughing stock.
"I know that probably sounds weird lol but "recently whipped" could mean "newly whipped" or "formerly whipped" IMO"
I understand it as "newly whipped": Jake whipped recently (last few monts) and he is whipped now. It fits with Ted thinking he'll sell out and marry the beard.
Natalie in Tel Aviv:
ONTD
10:21 AM, you have to have the last words, don't you? ;) W/E.
Brangelina are entertainers, no one should take them seriously. They are publicity whores, but the point is that there is no reason for Brangelina to be a laughing stock.
Ok, I get your point.
You can't be serious about "why ruin the spontaneity" and "Jake isn't informed about Reeke photo ops" arguments.
Reese runs her own PR show. You honestly believe every photo op she does is for Jake's sake? That it's agreed upon and consensual? For the big ones, sure. But IMO they know each other and do a few things together and when they do, the bitch doesn't hesitate to turn it into a photo op behind his back. I'm sure she claims knowing nothing about why that damn pesky pap got there. Btw how did that pap get there? I don't recall self-serve 33 cents an ounce bargain Twist Yogurt in Santa Monica ever being a celeb hotspot or a pap magnet. Must be on the same list as the pig farm.
Opinions are fine, but there is such thing as common sense.
Your common sense, right?!
I do think Reeke shows up to do things together without paps so that we get those twitters and sightings, to show oh how real they are. So it is possible that Reese calls the paps on occassion without alerting Jake.
I do think Reeke shows up to do things together without paps so that we get those twitters and sightings, to show oh how real they are. So it is possible that Reese calls the paps on occassion without alerting Jake.
My thoughts exactly. Hence annoyed Jake who doesn't dig overexposure and Reese, the ditz, is too stupid to realize that overexposure ain't good.
But IMO they know each other and do a few things together and when they do, the bitch doesn't hesitate to turn it into a photo op behind his back.
Reeke are arranging paparazzi photo shoots and use paparazzi hot spots from day 1.
There was never a reason for photo ops "behind his back" and not even a moron would ever believe Reese's "I have no idea how pap got there".
Btw how did that pap get there? I don't recall self-serve 33 cents an ounce bargain Twist Yogurt in Santa Monica ever being a celeb hotspot or a pap magnet.
Reeke PR called Flynet, like they did so many times before.
^^Sometimes papz show up without the celeb calling them, it could be people who work where the celeb happens to be. Not all actors that are papped call them! So, indeed Reese can claim that she didn't call them this time around.
^^^ Jake was born in a Hollywood family and lives in LA and NYC all his life - he doesn't need lessons about paparazzi and where to expect them.
Not all actors that are papped call them!
It's enough to visit certain places in order to get paparazzi pictures, every celebrity knows paparazzi hot spots.
Maggie said that paparazzi became a big problem for Jake. I don't think she pulled that out of her ass. I think Reese used to (still does?) call paparazzi even when Jake didn't know and he's pissed about it.
11:02 AM, true, but I think sometimes it's workers in certain places who allert them for cash.
Maggie pulls more out of her ass than you think, especially when it comes to the paps.
I think the paps may have been a problem for awhile right after BBM, when he was "hot", plus the rumors about him so they may've been looking to see who he was with. But anymore the paps are pretty much called, or only catch Jake at places where they hang, like that medical building in BH.
And yes, people do sometimes calls the paps when celebs show up at restaurants. But no pap is going to dash to a yogurt shop, people are usually in and out of places like that in a few minutes.
Reeke arranged the paps, no doubt about it.
Reeke arranged the paps, no doubt about it.
ITA
There was never any doubt about it.
Maggie said that paparazzi became a big problem for Jake.
Maggie couldn't say the truth - she's sorry her kid brother has to beard.
*waits for celebs*
LOL :)
Reeke arranged the paps, no doubt about it.
IMO Reese arranged the paps, no doubt about it. If Jake knew he had to play it up for a "Jake is Straight and a Perfect Stepdad" magazine spread he would have been a lot more family friendly not walk a mile away from the beard and her kids and then coming out run to the car with his ice cream LOL.
Maggie said that paparazzi became a big problem for Jake.
Maggie couldn't say the truth - she's sorry her kid brother has to beard.
^^Beard with the biggest famewhoring paparazzi-calling PR-thirsty talentless screeching shrew in HW.
Just a quick two cents on Brangelina. If they are a laughingstock, Time magazine must not know it; Forbes must not know it; Vanity Fair must not know it; Harry Weinstein must not know it since he centered the marketing campaign for Inglorius Basterds around Pitt and the Academy must not know it since Brad and Angie were recently nominated for Oscars.
Oh, and the people of New Orleans and the UN must not know it either.
I don't see how anyone could try to compare the credentials or influence of Brad/Angie to Reese/Jake. I don't even think Reese and Jake thought they would become the new Brangelina. Brad and Angie have the work and the deeds to back up the hype.
[Cantaraworld] Listen to to my interview at UmbrellaRadio -- I reveal whether or not Jake Gyllenhaal is gay!
Twitter
IMO Reese arranged the paps, no doubt about it. If Jake knew he had to play it up for a "Jake is Straight and a Perfect Stepdad" magazine spread he would have been a lot more family friendly not walk a mile away from the beard and her kids and then coming out run to the car with his ice cream LOL.
Agreed!
Pig Farm Pap said...
*waits for celebs*
Who ever denied that Reese calls papz for arranged ops? She does it very often and even though Jake is a famwhore too, she exaggerates it for his taste imo.
Is anybody willing to listen to the interview and tell us what Cuntara says?
I think Jake's behavior in some of the Reeking exhibits real passive/agressive behavior. Rather than doing something concerete to change his life, he goes along with it and shows his anger in a different way.
Geeze 11:31 I was hoping you would.
How do we draw straws over the internet?!?
You KNOW Cantara is gonna say he's straight. She's a PR whore too.
Like she is really going to say yes, Jake is gay. Of course she will say he is not. She has been saying that all along and we know he is as gay as his goose.
My god that radio thing doesn't have a fast forward that works. I tried making it go ff but it fucks up. I've heard the beginning and the music like 7 times now. Shit. I dunno if Jake is worth this torture.
You KNOW Cantara is gonna say he's straight. She's a PR whore too.
At least babblers will be pleased. LOL!
I’m featured on the premiere IndieBookMan Hour at UmbrellaRadio.org Wednesday, September 9, at 8pm ET. In case you missed it, you can hear it here through streaming audio, or download here.
Topics include indie publishing, rat fishing in Baltimore, and a little about my upcoming memoir, A Poet from Hollywood: The Secret History of the Gyllenhaals, due out this winter.
+ I reveal whether or not Jake Gyllenhaal is gay!
http://cantarasnotebook.blogspot.com/2009/09/listen-to-my-interview-at-umbrellaradio.html
For laughs but also doesn't this sound familiar, someone here who was posting the same thing?! Babblers can't stay away. LOL
From GB:
Catherine from CSI said...
The full set of Jake, Reese and the kids pics from last week. It looks like they were playing dodge the paps in this set.
The pics are posted out of sequence, but you can see where they are parked when they arrive and when they leave the car is parked somewhere else from looking at the background.
Someone either parked their car for them while they were in the store (valet parking at twist?)Or Jake ran ahead and met them at another spot in the area. Reese has her keys out and the kids are getting in the car. Jake I assume has a key as well and slid over so Reese could drive, it's her car.
I think it was their attempt to make sure there wasn't too many shots of them togehter in the same frame.
Cute pics but I wonder if the value was diminished because of the scenerio.
I think it was their attempt to make sure there wasn't too many shots of them togehter in the same frame.
Babblers are beyond stupid.
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