Dear Ted:
I know you're tired of the Toothy Tile questions, but I think I have an answer: "Toothy" is Vin Diesel! Correct me if I'm wrong.
C.C.
Los Angeles
Dear Toothache:
You be wrong, too, hon-bun. Think less meaty.
Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
***
June 18, 2008
Stretching It
Let’s have a moment of silence for the end of one of H’wood’s golden couples—shimmering, as far as their hair is concerned, anyway. Blondies Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe are officially and totally divorced as of this week, tho both parties really, in their hearts (and other sweaty locales), had jumped ship before they separated back in '06.
Both R&R appear more than okeydoke with the way things turned out—but we bet Reesikins has def been declared the winner in this battle of the exes. Ry’s got his poor-man’s Reese replacement, Aussie Abbie Cornish, while Witherbabe possesses two of the most coveted men in H’wood: Oscar and Jake Gyllenhaal. The Gyllenspork (are these verbal fusings making you puke as much as we are, yet?) guy ‘n’ gal are still going, against all odds, par-tick all over Hell-Ay. In fact, guess how the amour babes celebrated Reesie’s Big D? Romantic din din at Cut, full of love-nothing’s and well-done proclamations for each other? A night of naughty lovemaking up at the Madonna Inn? Nope.
Yoga. Yeah, R dragged her buff beau to a stretch class at Santa Monica’s YogaHop on a Saturday afternoon. Is this how the supposedly sexiest duo in T-town really breaks a sweat? Either that or she couldn’t stand a single second (or photo op) away from her fella. Our sly exercising source said the celebs, each with their own personal yoga mat, were supercute together, with R.W. keeping Jakey-boy as comfortable as possible for his first yoga class at this peaceful place.
The adorable dolls did their best downward-facing dogs and lotus poses without any PDAs and slipped out early, prolly to avoid the after-class crowd. Wouldn’t be surprised if the BFF babes hightailed it over to the mall for a facial and matching mani-pedi makeovers.
Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
Tuesday, 17 June 2008
Friday, 13 June 2008
Hollywood's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'
For years, the entertainment industry has held a kind of celebrity "don't ask, don't tell" policy that keeps some stars in the closet and others open, but not flaunting their relationships in the institution of marriage.
For years, Hollywood publicists have guarded the secrets of their clients' sexuality, for fear it would kill them at the box office. Famously closeted stars included Rock Hudson, Merv Griffin and Paul Lynde. Many of today's stars -- Jodie Foster, Michelle Rodriguez and Clay Aiken, for example -- have been the subject of speculation on their sexual orientation.
Though some groups may threaten to boycott advertisers, "Anyone who has a problem with it will no doubt find themselves in an increasingly bitter minority," Musto said.
"There are moments in the history of any movement when the corner is turned," Geoff Kors, executive director of Equality California, a gay rights group, told the Washington Post. "This is it. This is the tipping point."
Ted Casablanca, a columnist for E! Online and a gay man who just "married" his partner in a civil union ceremony in Hawaii, agrees that public perception of same-sex couples goes up a "notch" when stars are legally able to marry.
"Wherever the notch is to legalize in society, it doesn't matter," Casablanca said. "It's one more notch and the more notches you get, we're a part of a culture that is less inflammatory and incendiary."
Though gay marriage will make no difference for DeGeneres' strong fan base, it could have a more shocking impact on those who are still in the closet, he said.
"If Tom Cruise said, 'Guess what? After all these years, I decided to be gay and get married,' that's hugely different," Casablanca said. DeGeneres and Takei are "the types of stars who can afford to do whatever they want with their reputation.
"For Ellen, it's not a risk of alienating her fan base," he said. "She's already so family-oriented and not a sexy, slinky broad out there. She's very domesticated and secure.
"These people have already made up their minds that she is one of them," he said. "She'll say, 'You're not going to believe what Portia did emptying the dishwasher last night.'"
That conventional tone is one of the reasons Casablanca has -- so far -- not thought about legally marrying his partner, though he admits he might consider it for financial reasons so the couple can file jointly on their taxes.
"I never wanted to get married, like my parents bickering all those years or like Britney," he said. "Our very nature [as gay men] used to be bucking the system. That's how we were raised."
Source: ABC News, DeGeneres and Takei Vow to Marry Partners
For years, Hollywood publicists have guarded the secrets of their clients' sexuality, for fear it would kill them at the box office. Famously closeted stars included Rock Hudson, Merv Griffin and Paul Lynde. Many of today's stars -- Jodie Foster, Michelle Rodriguez and Clay Aiken, for example -- have been the subject of speculation on their sexual orientation.
Though some groups may threaten to boycott advertisers, "Anyone who has a problem with it will no doubt find themselves in an increasingly bitter minority," Musto said.
"There are moments in the history of any movement when the corner is turned," Geoff Kors, executive director of Equality California, a gay rights group, told the Washington Post. "This is it. This is the tipping point."
Ted Casablanca, a columnist for E! Online and a gay man who just "married" his partner in a civil union ceremony in Hawaii, agrees that public perception of same-sex couples goes up a "notch" when stars are legally able to marry.
"Wherever the notch is to legalize in society, it doesn't matter," Casablanca said. "It's one more notch and the more notches you get, we're a part of a culture that is less inflammatory and incendiary."
Though gay marriage will make no difference for DeGeneres' strong fan base, it could have a more shocking impact on those who are still in the closet, he said.
"If Tom Cruise said, 'Guess what? After all these years, I decided to be gay and get married,' that's hugely different," Casablanca said. DeGeneres and Takei are "the types of stars who can afford to do whatever they want with their reputation.
"For Ellen, it's not a risk of alienating her fan base," he said. "She's already so family-oriented and not a sexy, slinky broad out there. She's very domesticated and secure.
"These people have already made up their minds that she is one of them," he said. "She'll say, 'You're not going to believe what Portia did emptying the dishwasher last night.'"
That conventional tone is one of the reasons Casablanca has -- so far -- not thought about legally marrying his partner, though he admits he might consider it for financial reasons so the couple can file jointly on their taxes.
"I never wanted to get married, like my parents bickering all those years or like Britney," he said. "Our very nature [as gay men] used to be bucking the system. That's how we were raised."
Source: ABC News, DeGeneres and Takei Vow to Marry Partners
Tuesday, 10 June 2008
Phonyspoon
Dear Ted:
Thanks for the update on Jake and Reese (and I think it's Gyllenspoon instead of Githerspoon, though you know best!). But why are you the only one out there reporting that these two are a sham? Elsewhere, all we hear about are engagement rumors.
Suzy
Chattanooga, Tenn.
Dear Let's Spoon:
Who says it's a sham, darling? They truly are adorably, terribly close. Just like sisters!
Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Express newsletter
***
Truth, Lies and Ted
Episode: Phonyspoon
Source: Ted Casablanca, Truth, Lies and Ted video - June 12, 2008
Thanks for the update on Jake and Reese (and I think it's Gyllenspoon instead of Githerspoon, though you know best!). But why are you the only one out there reporting that these two are a sham? Elsewhere, all we hear about are engagement rumors.
Suzy
Chattanooga, Tenn.
Dear Let's Spoon:
Who says it's a sham, darling? They truly are adorably, terribly close. Just like sisters!
Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Express newsletter
***
Truth, Lies and Ted
Episode: Phonyspoon
Sunday, 8 June 2008
Dr. Parnassus, Session Six
March 2, 2008
Toothy: Doctor Parnassus?
Doctor Parnassus: Why hello pussycakes. I’ve been expecting you.
Toothy: I’m actually calling on behalf of a friend who’s…having issues.
Doctor Parnassus: Of course you are. You are wise to contact me. Those who play the game do not see it as clearly as those who watch.
Toothy: I’m watching, and it’s killing me.
Doctor Parnassus: As the King — and I mean Martin Luther — said, in the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Toothy: O truth! Where to begin.
Doctor Parnassus: Relax, cherub, close those mournful eyes, free your memories…
Toothy: I remember … I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about that place.
Doctor Parnassus: Ah yes, even repressed emotions have an echo in so much space.
Toothy: When I was out there, I didn’t care. Because I was out of touch. But it wasn't because I didn't know enough. I just knew too much.
Doctor Parnassus: About your friend?
Toothy: Yes, I know too much. Does that make me crazy?
Doctor Parnassus: Possibly.
Toothy: Probably?
Doctor Parnassus: Oh lovemuffin. I hope your friend is having the time of his life. Otherwise, I’d tell him to think twice, that's my only advice.
Toothy: I used to do … whatever the voices in his head told me to. Then… one day he said, come on now, who do you think you are?
Doctor Parnassus: Ha ha ha, bless his soul! He really thinks he’s in control?!
Toothy: He does. He says I’m crazy. He says we’re crazy. And that’s he’s running the show.
Doctor Parnassus: Honeybaby, in two words: im possible! Peruse the paradox. In dissociative identity disorder, the ego maintains repression without knowing the repressed. Knowing without knowing. But here, we have knowing with knowing! Of course, the alter ego's coping mechanisms allow superficially normal functioning. But primal repression of bi-ambiguity coupled with intermetamorphosis ultimately leads to depersonalization and dysphoria. Ergo, eventually, loss of control.
Toothy: Bi-ambiguity? You mean 85% straight and looking for beer?
Doctor Parnassus: Well, as one my most loyal patients, Woody Allen, said, "Being bisexual doubles your chance of a date on Saturday night." Let me put it this way: It is what you do when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it. It’s nothing 20 years of therapy won’t fix! I myself now accept that I am pomosexual. And quite lunaticus.
Toothy: Amantes sunt amentes?
Doctor Parnassus: Absolutely. And what you resist, persists. Now, the unbearable psychic pain of a relationship trauma could trigger the release of a psychic storm. Archetypal compensations and camouflages may then be penetrated and a synthesis of mutually dependent polar forces could ensue. A Hero’s Journey, if you will.
Toothy: Hero? My hero had the heart to lose his life out on a limb. All I remember is thinking, I wanna be like him. Now he’s gone, he not there, but I swear —
Doctor Parnassus: Dearest, I think you and I are singing from the same hymnbook.
Toothy: But my “friend” … well. Ever since he was little, he thought Hollywood looked like fun. So it's no coincidence he’s come… and … I’m afraid I’ll die when he’s done.
Doctor Parnassus: I won’t let that happen, sugarbaby.
Toothy: Maybe I’m crazy.
Doctor Parnassus: Maybe you’re crazy, but so am I.
Toothy: But you know who you are, you’re out there!
Doctor Parnassus: I am out here, lamb, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher. Exempli gratia: Which is better for your friend, eternal happiness or a peanut butter cup? It would appear that eternal happiness is better, but in his mind, this is really not so. After all, nothing is better than eternal happiness, and a peanut butter cup is certainly better than nothing. Therefore a peanut butter cup is better than eternal happiness.
Toothy: Oh doc, I despair.
Doctor Parnassus: Hold on, my sweet plum! Thus spoke Zarathustra: No lachrymology. Be lustful, be selfish. Begin the journey toward self-mastery. Bitch the alter. Stop being a gaysha to him! The alter will then wither away and reintegration can begin.
Toothy: You truly understand my situation.
Doctor Parnassus: I used to be schizophrenic too, but now we’re fine.
Toothy: Love.
Doctor Parnassus: Have your friend call me.
Source: Waiting for Toothy blog comments
Toothy: Doctor Parnassus?
Doctor Parnassus: Why hello pussycakes. I’ve been expecting you.
Toothy: I’m actually calling on behalf of a friend who’s…having issues.
Doctor Parnassus: Of course you are. You are wise to contact me. Those who play the game do not see it as clearly as those who watch.
Toothy: I’m watching, and it’s killing me.
Doctor Parnassus: As the King — and I mean Martin Luther — said, in the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Toothy: O truth! Where to begin.
Doctor Parnassus: Relax, cherub, close those mournful eyes, free your memories…
Toothy: I remember … I remember when I lost my mind. There was something so pleasant about that place.
Doctor Parnassus: Ah yes, even repressed emotions have an echo in so much space.
Toothy: When I was out there, I didn’t care. Because I was out of touch. But it wasn't because I didn't know enough. I just knew too much.
Doctor Parnassus: About your friend?
Toothy: Yes, I know too much. Does that make me crazy?
Doctor Parnassus: Possibly.
Toothy: Probably?
Doctor Parnassus: Oh lovemuffin. I hope your friend is having the time of his life. Otherwise, I’d tell him to think twice, that's my only advice.
Toothy: I used to do … whatever the voices in his head told me to. Then… one day he said, come on now, who do you think you are?
Doctor Parnassus: Ha ha ha, bless his soul! He really thinks he’s in control?!
Toothy: He does. He says I’m crazy. He says we’re crazy. And that’s he’s running the show.
Doctor Parnassus: Honeybaby, in two words: im possible! Peruse the paradox. In dissociative identity disorder, the ego maintains repression without knowing the repressed. Knowing without knowing. But here, we have knowing with knowing! Of course, the alter ego's coping mechanisms allow superficially normal functioning. But primal repression of bi-ambiguity coupled with intermetamorphosis ultimately leads to depersonalization and dysphoria. Ergo, eventually, loss of control.
Toothy: Bi-ambiguity? You mean 85% straight and looking for beer?
Doctor Parnassus: Well, as one my most loyal patients, Woody Allen, said, "Being bisexual doubles your chance of a date on Saturday night." Let me put it this way: It is what you do when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it. It’s nothing 20 years of therapy won’t fix! I myself now accept that I am pomosexual. And quite lunaticus.
Toothy: Amantes sunt amentes?
Doctor Parnassus: Absolutely. And what you resist, persists. Now, the unbearable psychic pain of a relationship trauma could trigger the release of a psychic storm. Archetypal compensations and camouflages may then be penetrated and a synthesis of mutually dependent polar forces could ensue. A Hero’s Journey, if you will.
Toothy: Hero? My hero had the heart to lose his life out on a limb. All I remember is thinking, I wanna be like him. Now he’s gone, he not there, but I swear —
Doctor Parnassus: Dearest, I think you and I are singing from the same hymnbook.
Toothy: But my “friend” … well. Ever since he was little, he thought Hollywood looked like fun. So it's no coincidence he’s come… and … I’m afraid I’ll die when he’s done.
Doctor Parnassus: I won’t let that happen, sugarbaby.
Toothy: Maybe I’m crazy.
Doctor Parnassus: Maybe you’re crazy, but so am I.
Toothy: But you know who you are, you’re out there!
Doctor Parnassus: I am out here, lamb, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher. Exempli gratia: Which is better for your friend, eternal happiness or a peanut butter cup? It would appear that eternal happiness is better, but in his mind, this is really not so. After all, nothing is better than eternal happiness, and a peanut butter cup is certainly better than nothing. Therefore a peanut butter cup is better than eternal happiness.
Toothy: Oh doc, I despair.
Doctor Parnassus: Hold on, my sweet plum! Thus spoke Zarathustra: No lachrymology. Be lustful, be selfish. Begin the journey toward self-mastery. Bitch the alter. Stop being a gaysha to him! The alter will then wither away and reintegration can begin.
Toothy: You truly understand my situation.
Doctor Parnassus: I used to be schizophrenic too, but now we’re fine.
Toothy: Love.
Doctor Parnassus: Have your friend call me.
Source: Waiting for Toothy blog comments
Tuesday, 3 June 2008
Beard x 2
Dear Ted:
Since L. Armstrong and J. Gyllenhaal are friends, would you say Lance is to Kate Hudson what Jake is to Reese Witherspoon? Becky Bain did a great job in your absence, but still... welcome back!
Sofia
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Dear Duh:
Since J dates R and L dates K then, uh, yeah I would say so. And ain’t B2 great?
Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
***
Friends, Flames and Foes
June 4, 2008
And now a word about Jake Gyllenhaal, eternal boyish wonder, and Reese Witherspoon, Jen’s ol’ Friends sis. Cannot tell you how many folks have contacted, written, phoned, chased me down at screenings, Gelson’s, parties, just to find out what the ef’s up with these two. I’ve said it before, I’ll blab it again: nothing. Nothing save brilliance, mind you. I mean, Clooney, the hardest dude to nab in H'wood, could learn from this dude Gyllenhaal.
"They’re very, very good friends," remarked a Githerspoon source who knows the two beauties well. "They’re helping each other out right now through some rough spots, that’s it."
Jeez, what could be rougher than being young and gorgeous, unattached and gifted with stunning hair? What do these two have to complain about? OK, well Reese’s failed marriage with Ryan, for starters. And then, I suppose, if you were truly desperate, you could add Rendition to Jakey’s problematic past. But that’s really stretching it. My hunch? They’re supergood BFFs who don’t mind in the least when every People photog worth his or her anal-probe camera happens to hunt them down at myriad coffee clutches and Beverly Hills mansions. They’ll ride this one as long as they see fit. The gushing, hyperventilating press only makes them both more viable, far more than on their own.
Remember, Reese didn’t get that Oscar for nuthin’.
Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
Since L. Armstrong and J. Gyllenhaal are friends, would you say Lance is to Kate Hudson what Jake is to Reese Witherspoon? Becky Bain did a great job in your absence, but still... welcome back!
Sofia
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Dear Duh:
Since J dates R and L dates K then, uh, yeah I would say so. And ain’t B2 great?
Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
***
Friends, Flames and Foes
June 4, 2008
And now a word about Jake Gyllenhaal, eternal boyish wonder, and Reese Witherspoon, Jen’s ol’ Friends sis. Cannot tell you how many folks have contacted, written, phoned, chased me down at screenings, Gelson’s, parties, just to find out what the ef’s up with these two. I’ve said it before, I’ll blab it again: nothing. Nothing save brilliance, mind you. I mean, Clooney, the hardest dude to nab in H'wood, could learn from this dude Gyllenhaal.
"They’re very, very good friends," remarked a Githerspoon source who knows the two beauties well. "They’re helping each other out right now through some rough spots, that’s it."
Jeez, what could be rougher than being young and gorgeous, unattached and gifted with stunning hair? What do these two have to complain about? OK, well Reese’s failed marriage with Ryan, for starters. And then, I suppose, if you were truly desperate, you could add Rendition to Jakey’s problematic past. But that’s really stretching it. My hunch? They’re supergood BFFs who don’t mind in the least when every People photog worth his or her anal-probe camera happens to hunt them down at myriad coffee clutches and Beverly Hills mansions. They’ll ride this one as long as they see fit. The gushing, hyperventilating press only makes them both more viable, far more than on their own.
Remember, Reese didn’t get that Oscar for nuthin’.
Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
Saturday, 31 May 2008
Dr. Parnassus, Session Five
Feb 20, 2008
Q: Doctor Parnassus, where have you been?
Doctor Parnassus: Oh crumpet, I’ve been toiling in the vineyards of the bored. I was about to take a bath. You’ve caught me nudo rigido.
Q: Excusi! Doc, I know our sessions are meant to be about Jake, but I can’t seem to forget Heath.
Doctor Parnassus: Ah, the Romeo and Juliet of our time. Earth and air, yin and yang, 6 and 9. Despite their uncoupling by Mr Gyllenhaal, the cosmic duality endures, my sad friend. Each exists most fully in relationship to the other, revealing psychological context through patterns generated by their perpetual interplay. We must accept the paradox: opposite things can be simultaneously true.
Q: They are opposites?
Doctor Parnassus: As an expert in metaphysico-theologico-cosmolonigology, I can authoritatively say, chalk and cheese, my dumpling.
Q: Is this why Jake has abandoned Heath?
Doctor Parnassus: Sweet pea, don’t be bitter. It takes loose reins to keep love tight! Cold is hot. Silence speaks.
Q: We’ve been over this ground many times before. William Shakespeare wrote, they do not love that do not show their love.
Doctor Parnassus: Well-quoted, little cabbage. But as genius actor Mr Danny Day-Lewis said about Mr Ledger (and it takes one to know one), “we wanted to follow him and yet we were afraid to follow him. He was perfect.” Argumentum ad Populum. My darling bachelor neighbor, Georgie Clooney, eloquently explained the stature of Mr Day-Lewis: "all actors bow to this f**ker." Ergo, with Mr Ledger placed in the pantheon by the Zeus thespian himself — well, who dare speak after God has spoken? Mr Ledger left his actorian fellows in awe of his virtuosity. Mr Gyllenhaal, bless his heart, left his fellows in lust. Dilemma of position.
Q: There’s no evidence that Jake even liked Heath.
Doctor Parnassus: As I said before, and I never repeat myself, you don’t see the air, yet we still breathe. Man is not an aquatic animal, yet we still swim. Of course, all generalizations are false.
Q: Doc, it’s hard to believe what you say has any basis in reality.
Doctor Parnassus: Darling infidel! Primo, reality is vastly overrated. Secondo, what we gain by truth is not worth that we lose in illusion. Terzo, if you wanted veracity, sugarbritches, you wouldn’t be here with me.
Q: Can we just talk about sex?
Doctor Parnassus: My clinical speculatum! I practice a lot on my own. The brain is really my second favorite organ. You know, the Archimedes’ principle supports the theory that a man immersed in the liquid of male love experiences an upward thrust equal to the weight of women he displaces.
Q: Must we be cryptic? You’re saying gay love can boost a career?
Doctor Parnassus: Mr Gyllenhaal once had a large gay following, but Jake ducked into a Roman alleyway and lost him.
Q: Now really —
Doctor Parnassus: Mr Moto says, man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day!
Q: Jake needs to be more…cocky?
Doctor Parnassus: Well, he chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like his: they were both mad about boys.
Q: Who isn't?
Doctor Parnassus: When heterosexuals warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned! Do not have sex with heterosexuals.
Q: Good night, Doctor P.
Doctor Parnassus: Sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
Source: Waiting for Toothy blog comments
Q: Doctor Parnassus, where have you been?
Doctor Parnassus: Oh crumpet, I’ve been toiling in the vineyards of the bored. I was about to take a bath. You’ve caught me nudo rigido.
Q: Excusi! Doc, I know our sessions are meant to be about Jake, but I can’t seem to forget Heath.
Doctor Parnassus: Ah, the Romeo and Juliet of our time. Earth and air, yin and yang, 6 and 9. Despite their uncoupling by Mr Gyllenhaal, the cosmic duality endures, my sad friend. Each exists most fully in relationship to the other, revealing psychological context through patterns generated by their perpetual interplay. We must accept the paradox: opposite things can be simultaneously true.
Q: They are opposites?
Doctor Parnassus: As an expert in metaphysico-theologico-cosmolonigology, I can authoritatively say, chalk and cheese, my dumpling.
Q: Is this why Jake has abandoned Heath?
Doctor Parnassus: Sweet pea, don’t be bitter. It takes loose reins to keep love tight! Cold is hot. Silence speaks.
Q: We’ve been over this ground many times before. William Shakespeare wrote, they do not love that do not show their love.
Doctor Parnassus: Well-quoted, little cabbage. But as genius actor Mr Danny Day-Lewis said about Mr Ledger (and it takes one to know one), “we wanted to follow him and yet we were afraid to follow him. He was perfect.” Argumentum ad Populum. My darling bachelor neighbor, Georgie Clooney, eloquently explained the stature of Mr Day-Lewis: "all actors bow to this f**ker." Ergo, with Mr Ledger placed in the pantheon by the Zeus thespian himself — well, who dare speak after God has spoken? Mr Ledger left his actorian fellows in awe of his virtuosity. Mr Gyllenhaal, bless his heart, left his fellows in lust. Dilemma of position.
Q: There’s no evidence that Jake even liked Heath.
Doctor Parnassus: As I said before, and I never repeat myself, you don’t see the air, yet we still breathe. Man is not an aquatic animal, yet we still swim. Of course, all generalizations are false.
Q: Doc, it’s hard to believe what you say has any basis in reality.
Doctor Parnassus: Darling infidel! Primo, reality is vastly overrated. Secondo, what we gain by truth is not worth that we lose in illusion. Terzo, if you wanted veracity, sugarbritches, you wouldn’t be here with me.
Q: Can we just talk about sex?
Doctor Parnassus: My clinical speculatum! I practice a lot on my own. The brain is really my second favorite organ. You know, the Archimedes’ principle supports the theory that a man immersed in the liquid of male love experiences an upward thrust equal to the weight of women he displaces.
Q: Must we be cryptic? You’re saying gay love can boost a career?
Doctor Parnassus: Mr Gyllenhaal once had a large gay following, but Jake ducked into a Roman alleyway and lost him.
Q: Now really —
Doctor Parnassus: Mr Moto says, man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day!
Q: Jake needs to be more…cocky?
Doctor Parnassus: Well, he chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like his: they were both mad about boys.
Q: Who isn't?
Doctor Parnassus: When heterosexuals warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned! Do not have sex with heterosexuals.
Q: Good night, Doctor P.
Doctor Parnassus: Sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
Source: Waiting for Toothy blog comments
Tuesday, 27 May 2008
PR is better than no PR
Dear Ted:
You said Reese and Jake were only a publicity stunt and, frankly, it looks like more than that. Lately you are always wrong! Maybe its time you change spies...
Natsie
Boston
Dear Dumb-Butt:
I imagine you were convinced to become a Tom Cruise fan again, after his latest Oprah appearance.
Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
You said Reese and Jake were only a publicity stunt and, frankly, it looks like more than that. Lately you are always wrong! Maybe its time you change spies...
Natsie
Boston
Dear Dumb-Butt:
I imagine you were convinced to become a Tom Cruise fan again, after his latest Oprah appearance.
Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
