Much Askew About Nothing

Jake Gyllenhaal, lapping up some lunch with a studio head on the Fox lot. J.G. spent the sunny day in a long-sleeve white thermal and black pants - can't report he was strutting around butt-nekkid in the sunshine, sorry. Jakey Blue Eyes finally shaved his babyface of that in-mourning scruff - hope the babe's feelin' better, we don't want those pearly whites to be hidden forever.

J.G. also was slightly limping. I suspect it's all that cavorting around cafés with Reese that's taking a toll on this typically tight-lipped, low-key lad. He trotted off in a Toyota Camry, proof that this unobnoxious stud likes to keep his presence truly private and out of People spreads. Wonder what changed his clandestine ways...maybe love? Hardly.

Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth

Toothy Tile: Three years ago

First Toothy Tile blind items:

March 5, 2005
Jake Gyllenhaal, grabbin' some Cali-esque grub at Basix Café. Boys Town. Gabbing fer days with a guy-pal, Jake-poo, decked out in a white sweatshirt hoodie and jeans, covered up his buzzed noggin with a red baseball cap. The sensitive hunks lingered on fer over an hour, smiling, exchanging childhood stories--with a bit of misty-eyed emotion even? Hey, take it up with my WeHo Desk, 'kay?


March 10, 2005
Okay, sugar-muffins, the only reason this one's in the Vice section is because until quite recently, Toothy Tile was dating his superpopular, superannoyingly perfect girlfriend. Not boyfriend. Which, if you ask this old gossip whore, is the classification Tile would prefer his significant others be filed under in the very near future.

Mere days ago, while everyone was hooting and complaining about this gown and that host from the Oscars, Tile was right out in the open holding hands with his man in a West Hollywood restaurant--which shall remain nameless...because I love going there and they probably won't serve me anymore if I start outing their customers, ca-friggin'-peesh?

Not that I'd be outting anybody, anyway. Mr. Tile took care of that himself. Covertly, but he did it.

It was late in the afternoon; everybody had cleared out. Save Tile and his man-amigo, who extended his hands flat on the marble table (yes, that's a hint) until they were intertwined with Tile's. Massive smiles then appeared on both daring dudes.

Too sweet! And such a departure for this debauched department, doncha think? Don't worry, as sure as Tile's famous ex knew, deep down, way below her doable dimples, what Tile really wanted (hence, the breakup), next week, we'll be right back on salacious patrol, damn sure.

And it ain't: Tobey M, Keanu Reeves, Jamie Foxx


March 24, 2005
This one's getting interesting.

Remember Toothy Tile from One Adorable Blind Vice? The sweet movie-star guy who was surreptitiously holding digits with his boyfriend at a West Hollywood restaurant? Well, he's at it again. Only, this time, more than digits are being utilized. At least the ones...never mind.

So, there T2 is with the stud-unit again. In the concrete parking structure of a very popular Hell-Ay shopping enclave. It was dark. Not too many shoppers were around.

Could this be why handsome Tooth (whose legs, I feel, have been vastly undersold, thanks to his mega-charming smile) saw fit to smooch his companion in their car, reclining their seats as far back as Faye Dunaway's forehead. And this kissing scene didn't simply occur in first, my dears. No, Tile brought the all-man, all-body Frenching session right on home, full throttle, all the way to fifth, I'd say.

Damn, that boy's a gusty speed racer.

And it ain't: Mark Wahlberg, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Affleck

Source: OH NO THEY DIDN'T! / Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth

I certainly wouldn't lie to Congress ...

"Sometimes, when I'm watching the TV with my wife and "Access Hollywood" comes on, my wife will ask me, "Who are those two people?" and I'll pretend I don't know. Oh, I know that's Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon, and that my girl Spoon only got with Jake after being on the rebound from Ryan, and that Jake may be gay after being caught with Austin Nichols at a Lakers game the other week. I know this stuff. I read People when I go to the dermatologist's office. I just don't tell my wife I know because, well, it just seems a bit girly. If that makes me insecure, so be it.

But I certainly wouldn't lie to Congress about Reese and Jake."

Source: I Know That A--hole Knows What A Vegan Is by U.S. Congressman Henry Waxman & Big Daddy Drew

The non-coming out come-out

It's a relatively new phenomenon, the non-coming out come-out. Gay public figures attend events with same-sex partners, or get spotted shopping with them at Ikea. They never claim to be straight or go on arranged photo-op dates with opposite-sex celebrities, and the stars as well as their fans may even sincerely consider them to be out, or at least…not in.

Inching out of the closet:

* Neil Patrick Harris
* Anderson Cooper
* Jodie Foster
* Adamo Ruggiero
* Sir Ian McKellen
* Chad Allen
* David Hyde Pierce

In short, coming out beats the hell out of inching out. Like most valuable and important things, that contribution isn't always an easy one.

Mentioning the difficulties of navigating the public coming out process, Sir Ian said, "It's very hard and I don't think we should expect people to do anything other than what they can do." Still, he concluded, "We've all got a part to play and it would be quite enough, as far as I'm concerned … to say 'Yes, I'm gay,' and leave it at that."

Far from demanding gay celebrities do more for our community, how about expecting them to do only one thing: Don't inch out; come out. Because that is, in the end, the single most powerful thing anyone can do to support equality.

Source: Inching out of the closet by Christie Keith

Just another beard

Dear Ted:
Norm of the Las Vegas Journal clearly knows George Clooney better than you do. He reported breathlessly on Clooney's "romantic" Valentine's Day dinner with Sarah Larson and her boss in Vegas, and he described the actor's singing and dancing with Larson around a very public fountain later. You should resign in shame for suggesting this relationship is less than it appears to be. I'm embarrassed for you. You obviously wouldn't know true love if it jumped up and down on a couch for you.
PoliticoGalNot
Los Angeles

Dear Looney for Clooney:
Not even Margo's allowed on my couch without wiping her paws off first. And since you live somewhere that clearly isn't reality, you've got a lot to learn about how celebs act when they know reporters aren't writing articles about them.

Source: The Awful Express

Dick Cheney ?!

Dear Ted:
I know who Toothy Tile is! Dick Cheney! We haven’t seen him for, what, six months? He really is in the closet.
Larry
Minneapolis

Dear Deranged:
You must drink as much as Dubya. Toothy Tile, for the record, is more than doable.

Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth

Neil & David

Neil Patrick Harris and his long-term boyfriend David Burtka, at a party at Julius' in NYC.

Source: Perez Hilton