Thursday, 5 February 2009

Romeo and Romeo


February 2, 2009

Dear Ted:
Is Grey Goose George Clooney? Love you, love your column!
—Mross

Dear Goose Goss:
Toothy wishes. Really, I think he does.


Dear Ted:
Did you watch Prayers for Bobby? I thought it was a wonderful movie with a powerful message, and it's great that Lifetime airs it, as it'll reach the people who need to see it the most. Sigourney Weaver was amazing, and I love Austin Nichols. It's nice to see you talking about him lately, and I hope you talk about him more. He is talented and dreamy.
—Melanie

Dear Fantasy Land:
Wow-friggin'-woo, is Nichols ever taking part in risqué subject matter lately, this is so intriguing. New, daring leaf?


Dear Ted:
Is Baby Tile old enough to talk? Should Toothy Tile be worried about what he might say to people?
—Vicky

Dear Tattle Tooth:
Yes, very. Consider it a Daddy Fearest in the making.


Dear Ted:
Just to start setting a Valentine's Day mood, I'd like to ask you, what is, in your opinion, the greatest love story in today's Hollywood? Is it Toothy Tile and Gray Goose's endless, complex, beautiful and ever-forgiving love story?
—Miranda

Dear Unrequited Love:
Are you kidding? Toothy's tale is more like Hom-e-o and Juliet—there's nothing great about it. Expect an equally bitter and potentially tragic ending, too. At this point, I'd go with Ellen and Portia.

Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth

Photo by Howard Roffman

1,085 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Mos = Most Sorry
But, Mos are appropriate also, Don't you think? OMG, I'm talking like Jake now.
Fraudian slip.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't sound anything like Ted's recent blind item. This actress is saying they fucked plenty of times. So I guess Jake is Bi. Cue the screams of JiS/JiG fangirls.

Anonymous said...

Schtupping a few women a few times does not make a gay man bi.

It's about attraction and desire, fulfillment and joy, not just Tab A goes in Slot B.

Anonymous said...

IUC Exclusive: Another Female Star Admits Toothy told her “he liked to play on both sides of the fence”

IUC had an exclusive interview today with another Hollywood actress who said she was involved with Toothy Tile. This one, however, admitted she slept with Toothy Tile several times over the past three years. The actress, who gave us the interview on condition of preserving her anonymity, said Toothy (Jake Gyllenhaal) had sex with her several times but made it clear he did not want to have any strings attached. Unlike the previous actress “Penny”, “Birdie” admitted she was lovers with Toothy but always suspected he swung both ways because “he was pretty weird when it came to making love”. “Birdie” said the truth was finally revealed when they went dancing one night at the Hollywood Burlesque Club Forty Deuce. “He started getting very close to a hot, young looking guy in the VIP section - a bit too close for my comfort,” she said. “When I asked him what was up he whispered in my ear that he liked to play on both sides of the fence.” Developing…

IUC

Anonymous said...

This actress is saying they fucked plenty of times.

No, she said "several times over the past three years".

Several - being of a number more than two or three but not many.

Anonymous said...

But, at least I know how to spell words like ulterior.

^ and, you know how to use it!
As in MOTIVE.

Anonymous said...

5:21 I am 5:11 I get your anger. I don't like their intolerant behaviour either, but what can I do???

WFT is worth DC forum , too bad for them.

Anonymous said...

Schtupping a few women a few times does not make a gay man bi.

And schtuppiing a few guys doesn't make a Bi man gay.

Anonymous said...

Schtupping a few women a few times does not make a gay man bi.

No, it doesn't. Looks like Jake was horny and hetero sex was safe (no outing) and better than no sex.

Anonymous said...

Cripes. F'ed up again. "Their" should not be "there" but "they're"

Cripes???

Is that you Prairie Girl? Where are the cookies and milk?

Anonymous said...

No, but carrying on a years long relationship with a man DOES make a man gay.

Anonymous said...

I say crimmeny, too.

But, I'm not from the Midwest, sorry.

Try a further north and to the right.

Anonymous said...

Do we get a new post soon?

Anonymous said...

No, but carrying on a years long relationship with a man DOES make a man gay.

What a stupid comment. A Bi man who has a years long relationship with a woman isn't straight, he's Bi. Same as if he has a years long relationship with a man.

Anonymous said...

Cripes. F'ed up again. "Their" should not be "there" but "they're"

Hell to the Nawh.

Anonymous said...

Also having sex doesn't automatically mean fucking. I want to hear more about the part "“he was pretty weird when it came to making love”. Does that mean she jerked him off or they fucked doggie style in the dark so he could imagine he was doing a guy or did he make her dress up as a guy or did he make her wear a strap on and fuck him or was it her giving him blow jobs all the time or did he want a string of beads up his ass?? Enquiring minds want to know!

Anonymous said...

Do we get a new post soon?


Hell to the Nawh.

Anonymous said...

is it getting hot in here?

Anonymous said...

Who could “Birdie” be.

Anonymous said...

Also having sex doesn't automatically mean fucking. I want to hear more about the part "“he was pretty weird when it came to making love”. Does that mean she jerked him off or they fucked doggie style in the dark so he could imagine he was doing a guy or did he make her dress up as a guy or did he make her wear a strap on and fuck him or was it her giving him blow jobs all the time or did he want a string of beads up his ass?? Enquiring minds want to know!

^^WOWWWWWW Is something Wrong?
Calm down there!
Pull your panties up. Wouldn't you love to have been a fly on the wall. I know you are thinking this type of comment would lead into the Jake is bi category and you are worried. Have no fear. Gay guy have sex with women sometimes, and guess what, bisexual guys have sex with women sometimes also. Now you're all fu*ked up.

Anonymous said...

I don't like their intolerant behaviour either, but what can I do???

I think it's hilarious that the babblers write these hostile posts and then they can't delete them when we call them out. I say leave it!

Jackie said...

Do we get a new post soon?

Wednesday.

Anonymous said...

Taking it at face value, this sounds like a 4 or 5 on the Kinsey scale. Or a 6 that feels threatened.

Anonymous said...

Birdie as in "a little birdie told me?"

Anonymous said...

Gay guy have sex with women sometimes, and guess what, bisexual guys have sex with women sometimes also.

No. Check out bisexuality definition.

Anonymous said...

Taking it at face value, this sounds like a 4 or 5 on the Kinsey scale.

Several times over the past three years? Sounds like a gay desperate for a fuck.

Anonymous said...

Wednesday?! What will we do here until then, strangle each other? This is madness.

Anonymous said...

What difference would new post make?

Anonymous said...

I'm the poster who wrote 5:47. I'm not "worried" starting a bi discussion, blah blah. You're the one whos too serious! I'm just horny and nosy and imaginative. Or is there something wrong with that now too?!

Anonymous said...

"he was pretty weird when it came to making love” leaves open a lot of possibilities!

Anonymous said...

I'm just horny and nosy and imaginative.

^^ WOWWWWWWW Again!
ROTFLMAO My sides hurt.

Anonymous said...

"he was pretty weird when it came to making love”

I want a description of the tool :)

Anonymous said...

What !!!Jake making love with a woman!!!
Awful

Anonymous said...

Jake thought so too, so he started getting very close to a hot, young looking guy in the VIP section. lol

Anonymous said...

I want a description of the tool :)

Sorrry, this is a respectable blog!
We don't provide strap-on 8" long and 2" across dildo set descriptions.

Anonymous said...

What about purple butt plug descriptions?

Anonymous said...

Pftt, those are for newbies.

Anonymous said...

"What difference would new post make?"

Change the mood. Start fresh.

Anonymous said...

there's a poster on DC with a bird name who sounded like she knew Jake, could be her.

Anonymous said...

New Book to Explore A-Rod's Sexuality?

Outsports reports that Selena Roberts, the Sports Illustrated co-writer who broke the recent story of Alex Rodriguez testing positive for steroids in 2004, has a book on the slugger coming out in May.

Among the nuggets that it supposedly tackles is A-Rod's sexuality.

Bob's Blitz, a sports gossip blog, reports: "The Blitz has learned Hit and Run: The Many Lives of Alex Rodriguez by Selena Roberts will be out May 19, 2009 - exactly one week before the Yanks head to...Texas to play the Rangers. It is rumored that the book may take a look at A-rod's struggle with his sexuality as well as his steroid use. The NY Daily News once had a curious quote, "A petite stripper at the Hustler Club said A-Rod 'likes the she-male, muscular type. They brought me up to the champagne room one time. I spun around once and that was it. I'm not his type.'"

Towleroad

Anonymous said...

Awesome Kansas High School Kids Tell Fred Phelps Where He Can Shove His Hate

Usually, we ignore stories about Westboro Bapstist minister Fred Phelps and his flock of fundie bigots. There's something about a guy who claims that American soldiers are going to hell because the U.S. "supports" homosexuality that makes us think he's not worthy of any attention, but when a group of 14 Westboro asshats decided to set-up shop outside the Shawnee Mission East High School in Prairie Village, over 450 students left school to let Phelp's followers know that they don't want any part of his hate.

Check out the inspiring pics of these young American patriots after the jump.

Queerty

Anonymous said...

The important thing is not that we can live on hope alone, but that life is not worth living without it.

- Harvey Milk

prairiegirl said...

Cripes???

Is that you Prairie Girl? Where are the cookies and milk?


Lol, weren't me, guys. Heck, I got lost at the 1st there/their/they're.

Anonymous said...

horny and nosy and imaginative

Jake, you said you weren't going to post here any more! >:-(

Anonymous said...

I'm looking for my purple butt plug!

Anonymous said...

Oh is that what I've been sitting on? I thought I had laid a golden egg!

Anonymous said...

Jake loves his lil pumpkin hottie.
Right, my silk road honeypuss?


Right, my sweetie pie!
Did you see my purple butt plug?

Anonymous said...

IUC Exclusive: Casablanca Planning To Outdo Toothy

Those who have followed Ted Casablanca's Toothy Tile blind item for
the past four years may be disappointed that I outed Toothy as Jake
Gyllenhaal this week. They may even be tempted to stop reading
Casablanca's brilliant Awful Truth column on E! Online now that the
fun of figuring out Toothy's identity has been ruined by yours truly.
That would be a mistake. The fact is that Casablanca is still King of
the Blind Item and is must reading for anybody who wants to know the
real secrets of Hollywood.

My credentials as a Hollywood sleuth stem from a couple of years on
and off posing as a gay actor to infiltrate Scientology and expose
the foibles of Tinseltown. But Casablanca is still the only guy who
knows ALL of Hollywood's dirty laundry, especially his twin
specialties of who's closeted and who's in a fake relationship. He's
been around for years and literally knows everybody in a town where
knowledge is capital. Best of all, his items are a written in an
incomparable style of bitchy and hilariously funny.

I never really understood why Toothy Tile became Casablanca's runaway
blind item hit when in fact Ted has published some far more
intriguing blinds over the years, my personal favorite being Crisp
Lisp.

I have it on good authority that an upcoming Casablanca blind item
will be focusing on the closeted gay exploits of a much bigger fish
than Jake Gyllenhaal.

Stay tuned! And if nobody's figured out the identity of Ted's new
victim in four years, tune in to IUC in 2013 when I out them right
here.

IUC

Anonymous said...

If Jake had been having sex with this woman over the last several years, this would have been going on while he was supposedly in a committed relastionship with Austin. Where was Austin during this time? And if Jake was checking out this guy, then that would mean that he was cheating on Austin with both women and men.

I know some of you need for Jake to be gay, but I think he is bi. The relationship with this woman wasn't public, so I don't see how it was PR arranged. PR arranged Reese, not this.

Anonymous said...

I agree with whoever said they don't know if Ian is telling the truth, but it sure makes for good reading! ;)

Anonymous said...

The relationship with this woman wasn't public

Having pretty weird sex several times over the past three years is hardly a relationship.

Anonymous said...

And if Jake was checking out this guy, then that would mean that he was cheating on Austin with both women and men.

What a slut. ;)

Anonymous said...

When is Ian updating? I want to know more. ;)

Anonymous said...

The central point is that Jake was having sex over the course of the last several years with this woman (if this is true). He also checked out men, if not slept with them.

Where was Austin during all of this time while Jake was cheating on him?

What is the deal with Austin? He puts up with Jake cheating and Jake bearding. Does he have no backbone?

Anonymous said...

Austin was filming?

Anonymous said...

He also checked out men, if not slept with them.

He probably slept with some of them. Supposedly he has been intimate with the “mogul” over the years. Of course, Ian could be full of shit.

Anonymous said...

No way of knowing, of course, but open relationships are common among gay men, and if that is what J&A have, it's not cheating. And they're frequently apart for filming commitments, their families live in different parts of the country, etc., so they spend a lot of time apart.

Personally I like the idea of Austin hooking up with some hot Latin boy during the filming of The Informers while Jake was busy with the General.

Anonymous said...

"I know some of you need for Jake to be gay, but I think he is bi."

Haha here we go again with the "you have a need" and "I think he is bi" -

Anonymous said...

8:37 if that's the case it seems Jake has made the most of the open relationship, boy's been busy. Not that I'm complaining, slutty Jake is HOT!!!

Anonymous said...

Not that I'm complaining, slutty Jake is HOT!!!

Hear, hear! Much better than tamed, leashed, yes dear, no dear, whatever you say dear, settled down and saddled with kids Jake.

Anonymous said...

But during this time frame, Ted said that Jake was supposed to have "re-recommitted" to Austin. Why make a committment if you have an open relationship?

Remember the stories about the "confidentiality agreements." Ted didn't say anything about Austin taking advantage of this "open" relationship.

I am beginning to believe the one poster on DL who said that Jake sleeps around,and that Austin is just one of many.

This would make more sense than the idea of the J/A true love fairytail romance.

Anonymous said...

He may have "dabbled", but Austin means the most to him.

Anonymous said...

Got a question to the 'but I think he's bi...' poster -

why is it so f'ing important that everyone here state that Jake is bisexual? Why is it so f'ing important to you that Jake is bisexual? I mean, what's it to you, personally?

Could it be that Jake - Gay there's absolutely no shot for you and your fantasties, but bi, maybe, just maybe, there is?

I'm truly mystified by the vehemence of your screeds here. It's almost like, in your opinion, to say that Jake is gay is somehow less, or bad, but for Jake to be bi, for there to be the possibility that he would/could find a woman attractive, is more palatable for you.

And if that's the case, that's kinda homophobic.

Anonymous said...

'but I think he's bi...' = Jake had gay sex AND Reeke is real

Have one's cake and eat it too.

Anonymous said...

wasn't the music video feat. jake, sam jackson, etc supposed to premiere today?

Anonymous said...

No, week starting Feb 9.

Anonymous said...

oh, ok. thank you =)

Anonymous said...

"No, week starting Feb 9."

What the hell is today then?

Anonymous said...

Today is the first day of the week starting with Feb 9.

Anonymous said...

"I'm truly mystified by the vehemence of your screeds here. It's almost like, in your opinion, to say that Jake is gay is somehow less, or bad, but for Jake to be bi, for there to be the possibility that he would/could find a woman attractive, is more palatable for you.

And if that's the case, that's kinda homophobic."

Yes and this is why some "Jake is bi-" posters come across as being homophobic - because you're so wierdly insistent - one hundred per cent gay seems to make you crazy. how come?

Anonymous said...

9:23 -

Say what?

What you posted doesn't make a lick a sense.

Anonymous said...

^ ^ ^

sorry your comprehension skills are not up to par. guess there's nothing I can do about it.

Anonymous said...

Perhaps the more appropriate solution would be that you obviously lack sufficient skills with the written word, 9:27.

Anonymous said...

Given all of these IUC revelations, I'm not surprised that Jake hightailed it out of LA ASAP.

Anonymous said...

why is it so f'ing important that everyone here state that Jake is bisexual? Why is it so f'ing important to you that Jake is bisexual? I mean, what's it to you, personally?

Could it be that Jake - Gay there's absolutely no shot for you and your fantasties, but bi, maybe, just maybe, there is?

^ ask yourself this same question, but use Gay instead of Bisexual. And see what you come up with.

Is it beyond your comprehension that the guy just my be bisexual? I think he's bisexual because I think his relationship with Kirsten was real. He also fits the mode (from my perspective) of a man who is interested in both men and women. I had this feeling about him early on. I respect that some think he is gay, but I feel it is true that some here want him to be gay and get upset when others don't share the same views. I don't get upset about this. If it turns out that Jake is totally gay, then I will feel the same about him. I may jump for joy just as the gays here. But, I think the man likes sex with men and women. If I had to say, I would say he's more sexually attracted to men. Don't know if it's true as some here act as if they do.

Anonymous said...

I haven't read of any one who thinks that Jake is bi insisting that he must be, or that everyone else has to think so. If anyone stated that everyone else has to believe this, could some one point to the post that makes that statement.

Why does it bother some of you Jake must be gay posters if others believe him to be bi. Why does someone saying so bother you so much?

Your rants make it appear that you aren't too sure about your belief that Jake is gay. Apparantly your fantasy requires it.

Anonymous said...

It's not important to me that Jake is gay. It's not important to me that others believe that Jake is gay, it's enough for me to. It's not important that I go on some kind of mission, a crusade to other blogs, blogs that were created with a cross purpose than the banner I'm carrying and post ad infinitum about my views.

And you?

Anonymous said...

I hope these stories are true. I would love to think that Jake is screwing around. He's way too young to settle for someone like Austin. Maybe he is looking for that "George Clooney" like Ted said.

Anonymous said...

I think the Jake is bi crowd think bi is better than gay. Softens the horror of the gay. Gay men are totally capable of having sex with women. I've known plenty that have. But their passion and longing is reserved for men. Jake having a woman a couple times in a year actually proves he is more gay than anything. A straight male of his age and looks would be screwing every chance they got.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, where is this poster that says everyone must state that Jake is Bi 9:00? Oh, wait, you're just whining because other people are doing the exact same thing as you: posting their thoughts on Jake's sexuality. Boo hoo, go stand in a fucking corner if you find other people's opinions so scary.

Anonymous said...

FYI this is my opinion:

I think Jake is bisexual too but bisexual doesn't have to mean 50/50. I think he's more 85/15 men/women (and will naturally move towards excluding women eventually the older he gets). Another thing, look at the women he seems to be atracted to, nohings wrong with them don't get me wrong. But Kirsten is elfin-tomboyish with her slight figure, pixie face, short hair, small flat breats, usually no makeup. And who can deny the chemistyr he has with Ellen Degeneres (at least on her show what we see) and Ellen is more mannish/fem.

But while I think he's 85/15 bi I say theres nothing going on with Reese, in pics theres no chemistry or accidental touching like how real lovers do. They look uncomfotrable with each other. The only time Jake looked halfway relaxed with Reese was at Lakers but even then he still looked like he was putting on a show "Hey look everybody I'm comfortable putting my hand on Reese's leg!"

Anonymous said...

FYI I'm 10:04 but I'm just putting mmy 2 cents in. I'm not the other "bi" posters.

Anonymous said...

Not to derail this discussion, but there's no way you could describe Kirsten Dunst circa 2002 as being slight figured with small/flat breasts; bitch had nice curves and a great rake. Too great in fact since gravity seems to have done a number on them now.

Anonymous said...

You know, 10:03, I started going back through today's posts with the intent to copy/paste several examples of what you requested, the believe Jake is bi or else kind of posts. But, as I was reading those around 11 AM today, and then continued forward through the day, I realized there was no need to the c/p thing.

You should already know those posts by heart, 'cause they're all yours! Very simple to tell, the phrasing, word choice, the nasty tone. A match!

So, why don't YOU tell us what about so many people saying Jake is gay bothers you to the point of frothing at the mouth?

Anonymous said...

A great rake? LMAO.

And she does not have a rack, she's very small, especially by HW standards, where so many of the women have fake ones. Not curvy either.

Very nice legs, thin, on the tall side, all american looks, now who does that sound like. ;)

Anonymous said...

I think Jake is bisexual too but bisexual doesn't have to mean 50/50. I think he's more 85/15 men/women (and will naturally move towards excluding women eventually the older he gets).

^^ You know some gay people can't fathom that this happens. I have seen it happen often. Why can't a man be interested in a woman and sexually aroused for a man also? Or, the other way around, take your pick. I'm sorry, life is not as black and white for me as it is for others. And for the people who I met over the years who go both ways.
Some gay people become political about this and staunchly disagree about bisexuality for whatever reason, but I find this just as narrow minded as the straights that oppose the rights of gays. It's prejudice against someone they really don't know anything about or don't understand. Just because a gay man has sex with a man who has a girlfriend does not mean that the man with the girlfriend is gay in my book. Now I'm not gonna get polically gay, it's too late. I am aware that the mainstream society and gays want to lump anyone who has same sex dealing as gay, oh I forgot, unless you are a sexy female, then it's ok or you are allowed to be bisexual. Some of these men get married, or still date other women and men or settle down with that one women. And the flip side is that sometimes this man who dated women mostly realizes that he is more homosexual than he thought and begins to lives a gay / homosexual life. Now the Ted Hagard situation is interesting. If he said he was bisexual I would understand and except it. As if he cares..

Life is easy, people complicate it!

Anonymous said...

Too great in fact since gravity seems to have done a number on them now.

what? laughin out loud. You are too mean. The (lol) demon might be lurking.

Anonymous said...

So you couldn't find any examples 9:00 and are still crying because people disagree with you. Except now you're getting even more whiny and hysterical. Ironic.

Anonymous said...

lmfao. what is with this kid?!?! he's got something else...

http://ianundercover.com/2009/02/09/iuc-heads-up-major-blockbuster-will-be-published-here-tomorrow-morning-dont-miss-it/

ian is a golden god. that is all.

Anonymous said...

Sure, he's bisexual. They pay him 7 million dollars to pretend he's straight. It's just the rest that is gay.

You know, the part that Jerry Bruckheimer hasn't bought. And whoever that asshole was sitting next to Reese at that god damned Lakers game.

Yeah that part.

Anonymous said...

10:37, it's obvious you are one of the posters who have a need for Jake to be GAY, not bisexual. Whatver floasts your boat. Do all the Jake / female sex post upset you. Don't let it. As long as you know who you AREEEEEh.

Anonymous said...

I simply have not seen any evidence at all that Jake is interested in women. Pictures of sis and bro are beautifully affectionate, though.

Anonymous said...

no, you're all wrong. jake is a unicorn!

Anonymous said...

10:42#1 is beginning to screetch and flap the harpie wings. sameold sameold routine. its so gross.

Anonymous said...

unicorns like girls. virgins, actually. Jake is not a unicorn.

Anonymous said...

I correct myself: That closeted *gay* asshole sitting next to Reese at the Lakers game who paid the camera guys several hundred thousand dollars to focus on Jake and Reese to force them to kiss for the camera to which Jake visibly reacted with revulsion and proved once and for all that Jake is 100% gay.

Anonymous said...

Halperin's embarassment of riches is either the biggest Disney/CAA-manufactured, disinformation scheme ever or Halperin has the best lawyers in Hollywood. All I do know is that I'm loving it.

Anonymous said...

And you've seen that he's a gay sex hound. WoW, what kind of glasses are you wearing.

You actually believe picture of a second in ones day or life tells the whole story? Not good.

Jake could be wearing some man out right now with a woman in the room waiting for him next and not have Austin or Reese on his mind at all. It could be 2 women tonight and a hot boy tomorrow nigh. Or just the sexy French model guy on Friday. And you're basing his sexuality only on what YOU see on Pap and promo pictures of Jake. Bad idea.
What is Jake doing now?

Anonymous said...

Well the look of revulsion on Reese's face as Jake whispers somethng to her in the doorway appears that the feeling is mutual. poor sods. her bloated belly, his garlic breath. eeewwww!

Anonymous said...

^^ hopefully you get my point 10:42. I'm 10:51

Anonymous said...

2002 Dunst did have a great rack. A good handful, and they were actually perky , rather than the saggy shit she has now. And yeah, she had/has natural feminine curves; nice waist to hip ratio there

Anonymous said...

***I correct myself: That closeted *gay* asshole sitting next to Reese at the Lakers game who paid the camera guys several hundred thousand dollars to focus on Jake and Reese to force them to kiss for the camera to which Jake visibly reacted with revulsion and proved once and for all that Jake is 100% gay.***

So sad to be this mad. And it's not healthy at all. Take a deep breath.

Atticus said...

Jake could be wearing some man out right now with a woman in the room waiting for him next and not have Austin or Reese on his mind at all. It could be 2 women tonight and a hot boy tomorrow nigh. Or just the sexy French model guy on Friday.

Hey don't forget about me!

Anonymous said...

"Atticus said,

Hey, don't forget about me!"

O jeeeze, it's that fuckeen dog that has wet dreams about spiders. He also has wet dreams about his daddy? Eeewwwww! Groddy!

Anonymous said...

In light of recent events, and the lack of movement towards the positive, apparently PR has given up on the Totally Straight Jake idea, and sent their minions to push - and by push I mean blather, bash, blugdeon and otherwise insult and ridicule - the Bisexual Jake, which, of course, would - even with the rather lame at this point acknowledgement of same-sex attractions and hook-ups and perhaps even LTR with another man - still leaves room for Reeke to continue, thus insuring the Disney contract is still valid, everyone's paycheck and keep the complete embarrassment of the General to a minimum.

Jake is Gay, there's not way Reese walks away unscathed or not humilated.

Jake is Bi, and Reese is not only super woman to pull him back from the evil brink, but PC by 'accepting' Jake's NCS orientation.

Good plan, on paper, that is, 'cause there ain't no way, no matter how much or how long or how stringent and nasty the minions' posts are, this TBer for Life is going to fall for their most recent in a 3 year long line, that winds through Rome, Cabo,Paris, Ojai, SF and the greater LA basin, bullshit.

Jake is Gay. He, you and everyone really needs to embrace it.

Anonymous said...

Can't believe this "outing" has legs.

Anonymous said...

Well, someone(s) are terrified of it running amok 'cause WWFT2 has been infested with Babblers frantically spining the JiB angle in an pathetic attempt to salvage Reeke.

Me, I'll just sit back here with my hot chocolate and watch it all unfold.

Anonymous said...

11:07, I like your writing style. Jake is a beautiful man. :)

Anonymous said...

"PR has given up on the Totally Straight Jake idea, and sent their minions to push - and by push I mean blather, bash, blugdeon and otherwise insult and ridicule - the Bisexual Jake"

ITA. If you can't beat them, then join them. Someone in Disney Central has given up.

"Me, I'll just sit back here with my hot chocolate and watch it all unfold."

Me too. Pass the popcorn.

Anonymous said...

Oh good, here comes 9:00/11:07 with the old "someone is disagreeing with me so they must be part of a conspiracy" post. Always the same pattern; first get angry that someone has a different opinion, then whine about it for a few posts, then make up some shit, get called out, whine some more, then pull out the "You must be PR/Babbler" crap. So funny to watch this happen whenever someone gets their ass handed to them.

Anonymous said...

Ah, as much as I'd like to get rid of it, my ass, as well as the validity of what I posted, is still firmly attached.

To state that PR does not engage in the aforementioned tactics is to - here, allow me to quote your so elegantly worded phrase "make up some shit". To continue to harp on the same subject, the subject of your differing opinion not being hailed as The Gyllenhaal Universal Truth thus granting your several hours of penants groveling and grape feeding, a harping that has included such gems as, and, by your leave, I'll quote again, Boo hoo, go stand in a fucking corner if you find other people's opinions so scary, and sorry your comprehension skills are not up to par. guess there's nothing I can do about it., and let's not foget this one - Calm down there! Pull your panties up...now you're all f*cked up. - not only crossed into Whinge territory, but staked a claim, cleared the land, built the homestead and planted a very fine vegetable garden.

And, please pardon my Babbler faux pas. It was an easy one to make, surely, for who else but someone as delusional to believe either Reeke is real or that their repetative, insipid and hollow words could hold any swaying power would expend so much energy beating their flat heads against the WWFT2 wall?

Don't you worry though, your voice has been heard here. Not that it's been accepted, heeded or even mulled. It has prompted many a good belly laughs, though, and, in these hard and uncertain economic times, the entertainment was much appreciated.

Anonymous said...

Get over it guys. Jake is as gay as they come. I dont care about the 2 or 3 women he may have sampled. He comes alive around men, not women. Does anyone think he left town to avoid the paps during this outing.

The biggest mistake PR made is choosing Reese as the beard. They were hoping for Brangelina2. Greedy. Now they just have a mess on their hands.

Anonymous said...

All you have to do is look at the most recent pictures of Jake with Matthew and those two other men to see Jake is gay. He absolutely blossoms around men. Reese alone? He wilts and resorts to the glum posture and sad face of a child forced to go out with Mommie to one of her yucky lady activities, like shopping. Jake wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole if it wasn't in the bearding contract.

Evelyn thought she'd kill two birds with one stone by arranging this fauxmance between her two biggest clients. Joke is on her, and, unfortunately, Jake. Reese clearly comes first as an Oscar winner and the bigger money maker. Jake really should dump both these women.

Oh well, what does Evelyn care. She's laughing all the way to the bank with her 10 or 20 percent share of PoP, while Jake is left looking like a fool and losing his fans.

Anonymous said...

I don't think that Jake blossoms around all men. He blossoms around gay or bisexual men who know that he's gay, understand that he must stay in the closet in order to be very successful in Hollywood and realize that he is not homophobic, as well as non-homophobic straight men who know he's gay and don't find him threatening.

Anonymous said...

Don't forget the timing in all of this. If Disney is behind this, then now is a great time to throw out the dirty laundry. Everyone us focused on the Grammies and Oscars. No one is really paying attention.

Anonymous said...

Like a few here , I think he is BI , but not bothered by the Jake is 100% gay team lol No need to be on the defensive!

Anonymous said...

"Don't forget the timing in all of this. If Disney is behind this, then now is a great time to throw out the dirty laundry. Everyone us focused on the Grammies and Oscars. No one is really paying attention."

Surely , Mickey is behind Ian!

Anonymous said...

Maybe its RDJ and Jake!

Anonymous said...

They're running from Ian!

Anonymous said...

All you have to do is look at the most recent pictures of Jake with Matthew and those two other men to see Jake is gay. He absolutely blossoms around men.

Actually yes he does. And I am someone who will not get into the is he gay or bi debate because only Jake really knows what he is and where he is. None of us can say what stage of someone's life they choose to partake in all things but identify as two or one thing or use one thing as a stepping stone to something else because life doesn't stay static it moves in a learning curve.

But he does seem to come alive and crack out the big genuine smiles even around total strangers more than the staged, precise photos at Just Jared. Which s nice but also quite revealing imo. You can't fake that kind of feeling I don't think.

Anonymous said...

And I still think it's worth not getting too invested in this Ian Undercover either way and getting sold on what's being said.

We should just wait and see.

Anonymous said...

"All you have to do is look at the most recent pictures of Jake with Matthew and those two other men to see Jake is gay. He absolutely blossoms around men"

Hum I agree but I remember pics with portman , caruso's daughter and other female friends where he seemed good and relax too.
I don't get into the bi gay debate either, just say it's IMO a bit wrong to assume at any rate, he is only happy around male friends!

Anonymous said...

I don't think the poster did say he was "only happy around men". The poster said he blossoms around men.

Anonymous said...

OT: Rumor has it it was Hip hop DJ Khaled (a member of the hip hop group Terror Squad) in the Bentley. He killed himself after a 5 hour car chase/standoff in LA.

Anonymous said...

Why does it bother some of you Jake must be gay posters if others believe him to be bi. Why does someone saying so bother you so much?

It bothers me when posters troll, play stupid or hide behind "you need Jake to be gay" bullshit.

Could "Jake is BI" (JiB) posters let everyone know what they REALLY think?

It's easy, just choose one option:

a) Jake is bi and Reeke is fake
b) Jake is bi and Reeke is real
c) Jake is bi and I have no opinion about Reeke.

Anonymous said...

As for me it's between a and c

I don't believe in "the Jake isn't attrated by women" and think his love for Kirsten was sincere
BUT I tend to think he may fall in love with Austin and they may be a couple now! so Reeke ???? Well at least we know Jake and Reese have been friends since many years, they surely know each others very well, I see nothing more though!

Anonymous said...


Could "Jake is BI" (JiB) posters let everyone know what they REALLY think?

It's easy, just choose one option:


Okay. I think Jake is bi and Reeke is fake. Not that this will stop 9:00/11:07/12:09 from having another meltdown because someone dares to have an opinion different to their own.

To state that PR does not engage in the aforementioned tactics is to - here, allow me to quote your so elegantly worded phrase "make up some shit".

Yes, except I didn't state that.

To continue to harp on the same subject, the subject of your differing opinion not being hailed as The Gyllenhaal Universal Truth...

And there you go again, making shit up. Except this is the same crap you made up at 9:00. But because you obviously need this spelt out to you, I'll do it. I don't need anyone else to believe that Jake is Bi, I just like the freedom to be able to have that opinion and state it here. I'll continue to exercise that freedom, and you can continue to pout, kick and cry because someone on the internet isn't agreeing with you.

Anonymous said...

IUC Exclusive: Only Two left - Breaking Post About It All Before 11am Today! Don’t Miss Tonight’s Online TV Show In Which We’ll Discuss Toothy And The Latest Breaking Stories followed by A Screening of My Film His Highness Hollywood

8pm est at www.iuctv.com

IUC

Anonymous said...

And there you go again, making shit up. Except this is the same crap you made up at 9:00.

I don't see anything wrong with 9:00 PM #2 post.
I too believe that some JiB posters are only using BI as argument to sell "Reeke is real" crap.

Anonymous said...

^ ^ ^

Me, too. Yuck.

Anonymous said...

I think Ted is cute, snappy, and on the ball.

Ian, on the other hand, seems like a creep, to me.

Who is his audience?

Anonymous said...

Standard gossip writer audience? I don't see anything distinguished about Ian that would attract only certain type of people.

Anonymous said...

Sponsorship drought breaks for Matthew Mitcham

OLYMPIC gold medallist and gay icon Matthew Mitcham has finally secured the corporate sponsorship deal that has eluded him since the Olympics.

While it's not in Stephanie Rice territory, Mitcham's year-long contract with Telstra is a "relief" for the diver who has struggled to attract interest from the corporate world despite his perfect-10 dive in Beijing.

He blames the current economic crisis rather than his sexuality for the sponsorship drought but is grateful Telstra has backed him.

"I was a little bit worried... so hopefully this will be a snowball effect, but I don't want to count my chickens," he said. "If I can get the opportunity where I would be able to train without having to worry about paying the bills, that would be the ultimate goal."

While refusing to reveal the dollar amount of the deal, Mitcham said it would be a "significant" help - without which he would find it difficult to continue the 11-session a week training schedule needed for the 2012 London Games.

Mitcham will represent Telstra at events and product launches, with the company describing him as a "positive role model for all Australians".

link

Anonymous said...

IUC EXCLUSIVE: THE QUEEN OF TELEVISION IS GAY - OPRAH WINFREY MOST FAMOUS CLOSETED PERSON IN WORLD; PLANS TO COME OUT AFTER HER TALKSHOW ENDS

IUC has learned that Oprah is seriously contemplating taking a page from her former talk show rival, Rosie O’Donnell, and finally coming out as a lesbian shortly after she gives up her talk show.
During my undercover investigation posing as a gay actor in Hollywood a couple of years ago, the most frequently cited closet case by those in the know did not reside in Los Angeles but in Chicago, none other than the queen of daytime television.

“Get real,” dished a prominent Hollywood poker playing group of industry pros who call themselves the ‘Queers of the Round Table.’ “Only those in the fly over states still believe Oprah is straight.”

The supposed subject of her Sapphic affection, of course, is Gayle King, her BFF who has been joined at Oprah’s hip and apparently other parts of her anatomy since 1976 when they worked together at a Baltimore TV station. King later married and divorced a lawyer and had two children, for whom Oprah is the godmother. Oprah has never married.

When rumors about the couple’s special relationship began to surface in the early 90’s, Oprah suddenly announced that she was “engaged” to a businessman named Stedman Graham, better known as the most famous beard since Santa’s. When they failed to marry, Oprah explained that they had decided to have a “spiritual union” instead. Occasionally she trots Stedman out on the red carpet with her, but numerous insiders have told me that they are definitely NOT a couple.

Both Oprah and Gayle denied being lesbian lovers a few years ago, sort of. In an interview with Oprah’s O Magazine, Gayle said, “The truth is, if we were gay, we would so tell you, because there’s nothing wrong with being gay.” Oprah’s comment was a similar non-denial denial: “I’ve told nearly everything there is to tell. All my stuff is out there. People think I’d be so ashamed of being gay that I wouldn’t admit it? Oh, please. “ Gayle did admit, “If Oprah were a man, I would marry her.” Tellingly, the denials prompted Rosie O’Donnell herself to speculate that the couple were probably lesbians even if they’re “not doing it,” saying that she thought Oprah and Gayle were “a little bit gay.”

I have been trying to track down the gay rumors about Gayle and Oprah for ages and, although I have never seen them in bed together or interviewed somebody who claims to have had sex with either one of them, I am now told by someone close to her production company that Oprah feels it important to come clean about her relationship “when the time is right,” and that Oprah herself has speculated that she will follow Rosie’s path of waiting until shortly after her talk show ends. “Look for her to go on Barbara Walters a week or two after her show is off the air,” she says. The insider told me that those at Harpo who know the truth are unconcerned because they don’t think her admission would have a negative impact on her ratings. “The sticking point is the black community, particularly black women,” she explains. “Oprah is very proud to be a role model for black women, but she knows how homophobic and Christian the community is, and she worries that the truth would alienate her from her sisters.”

When I met her in New York a couple years ago, Oprah struck me as a genuine and sincere person. She showed particular affection to my daughter and was nothing but gracious. While I can respect her reasons for remaining in the closet, I also know the immeasurable impact she could have on homophobic middle America by coming out. Please don’t wait, Oprah. You’re a big enough role model that your admission could do more to break down the barriers of intolerance than perhaps any other celebrity on earth.

Developing!

IUC

Anonymous said...

A picture of Chuck E Cheese (for the fans of The Good Girl)

Anonymous said...

Dear Justine,

because of you I will be quitting the Retail Rodeo. The last two days have been the most God awful of my life. I've not been able to get rid of you in my head. I've never wanted anything so bad and I have wanted many things. I'd given up long ago on being gotten by someone else, and then you came along. The idea that I could be gotten because of circumstantial never get got is the worst feeling I've ever felt and I have felt many bad feelings. I'm sorry I can never see you again, Justine. Forgive me for being so weak, but that is who I am. Goodbye.

Holden Worther.

If, for some reason, you could change your mind and wanna be with me body and soul, meet me after work. I will be waiting for you at 5pm outside Chunky Cheese. If you are not there at five you will never see me again in your lifetime.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm, Ian's information about Oprah is not up-to-date; he faile to mention that Steadman is now history, having been paid a huge chunk of money, no doubt for his bearding services. Ian talks as if Oprah still trots him out for events.

Anonymous said...

faile=fails

Anonymous said...

Steadman is now history, having been paid a huge chunk of money, no doubt for his bearding services

What?!? When did that happen?

Anonymous said...

Hey 10:43, :)

Anonymous said...

okay everyone has to go check the parking lot in their local Chuck E Cheese and see if Jake is waiting for someone

Anonymous said...

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

Not all my yelling at Jake can make him do what I him want to do
Nor affect his working out of his own salvation

Anonymous said...

All my yelling at Jake can make him do what I him want to do
And affect his working out of his own salivation

Anonymous said...

^ ^ ^

*makes Texas longhorn sign*

Anonymous said...

okay everyone has to go check the parking lot in their local Chuck E Cheese and see if Jake is waiting for someone

Checked. No trace of Jake.

Anonymous said...

7:29, I couldn't have said it better.

But you must admit it's kind of fun to watch the Jake must be Gay nazis have their meltdowns.

Anonymous said...

Jake is gay, don't blame us!

Anonymous said...

okay everyone has to go check the parking lot in their local Chuck E Cheese and see if Jake is waiting for someone

Patrol unit to base, we have bouncing vehicle with steamed up windows parked in lot behind Chin E Cheese. Should we approach?

Anonymous said...

So, what's your opinion 11:56 AM?

A, b, c ?

Anonymous said...

Lance: Live Strong
Austin: Come Strong

Anonymous said...

Gottcha coming and going, bud. . .

XXXXXX

Anonymous said...

Should we approach?

Proceede with caution! Don't interrupt anything. Take pictures, we need evidence.

Anonymous said...

Gottcha coming and going, bud. . .

Coming and gooing.

Anonymous said...

Cum On Feel the Noize!

Anonymous said...

‘Gossip Girl” roomies Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick may be beautiful, but their real-life Chelsea apartment certainly isn’t.

“It stinks!” an insider insists. “Those boys are slovenly and have garbage and clothes everywhere. You’d think they were living in a frat house!”

Anonymous said...

BI

Two of the female leads of this soon-to-be-cancelled television show have moved in together into an apartment near the Sunset Strip. An even bigger surprise, however, is that one of the male stars of the same show may finally be coming out of the closet. It's rather odd timing, though. It certainly would have made more headlines if he had done it while the show was still on the air. And this guy loves the headlines. [BlindGossip]

Anonymous said...

I can't calm down! Easy if I was a hooker like you then I'd calm down all over town!

Anonymous said...

Hummer: Regina Spektor's "Fidelity" fighting for gay marriage

Beware: if you're a weeper you might want to get a hanky handy. In their continuing battle to invalidate Prop 8, The Courage Campaign asked the gay community to mail photos of themselves holding a sign with the simple message, "Don't Divorce Us." They then took the photos and made a video set to Regina Spektor's "Fidelity," in hopes of sending a message to the Supreme Court, which will hear the case on March 5, 2009, to keep gay marriage legal.

Check out the touching clip and then head over to the Courage Campaign's site to fill out a petition showing your support.

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce...

Anonymous said...

IUC Exclusive: Toothy’s Ex Male Lover Opens Up

The Hollywood executive who claims he had a homosexual affair with “Toothy Tile” today revealed more intimate details to IUC. He said they took trips together, rented a secret pad in the Hollywood Hills where they would spend weekends together and even dated the same woman to pretend they were both straight. “We planned everything so noone would find out about us,” he said. “We wanted our privacy and figured the best way to do it was by positioning it properly. Yes, we were deeply in love. We had incredible times together. Problem was that if we came out we’d both never work again. That’s how bad it is in our industry.” Developing…

IUC

Anonymous said...

LOL!!! First the 2 HW actresses with no name and now the HW mogul with no name! And what same woman did they date? Kiki??? It had to be if it staryed back in 2004.

I miss Jaxson, at least he knew when to stop.

PS: How does one rent a secret pad in the Hollywood hills of all places.

Ted must have told Ian that he can get more hits if you do TT posts!

Anonymous said...

Where's the proof?? Why do I feel like this is a big hoax to not only discredit Ted's TT story again, but can Ian be that dumb? Dumber than Jaxson?

Ian thinks he "outed" TT but in fact several other blogs like Defamer and Gawker did in '05 and the post on Winfrey is a joke, the rags out her and Gail every other week!!

What happen to the books? And the outing of Leo and Timberlake? I guess Justin and Leo don't get the same hits.

Anonymous said...

Who calls a house a "secret pad" anymore. Its like watching a cheesy 60's movie

Anonymous said...

Halperin's stories are not making sense in terms of timelines or storyline. During this same time period, Jake wasn't just dating, but (I think) living with Kiki. Also, where does Austin fit into this?

This just reads like a fleshing out of Ted's BI about Toothy hooking up with a producer to get better parts. But Ted did not imply that this was a serious "love" relationship, just a serious of hookups for kicks, and possible personal career profit. But again, where does Austin fit into this storyline.

Austin is supposed to have been Jake's constant boyfriend for approx. 4-5 years now, yet, Halperin has not made any mention of a boyfriend. He has claimed that Jake is bearding with Reese, but no mention of a boyfriend, strange.

If Halperin is a friend of Ted's, don't you think they would compare their information. At least, get the public timelines right. Because it's beginning to appear that either one, or both, of them is making alot of their stuff up.

Is is possible that neither Ted or Halperin knows as much about Jake as they would like us to believe, but they spin the stories that they know will keep the interest going?

Anonymous said...

Halperin's stories are not making sense in terms of timelines or storyline.

There is no timeline for this Hollywood executive story.

Anonymous said...

A cheesey 60's movie starring Rock Hudson and Tab Hunter!!! This guy is a joke, i took a few minuets to check out the rest of his blog. There are archives going back to 8/08 so he hasn't been blogging very long.

All i can figure out is that when he had Ted on his chat show a few weeks ago he decided to use TT to up is traffic. He probably figured thst if kept using strickly TT BI's he wouldn't get the traffic so he made IMO the 2 actresses and the mogul, bad fan fic.

He probably will dip into the BI's again and declare a baby was born but won't provide a date or where or the sex but will quote the nanny, lol!

And if you noticed he says that Ted has a another BI asbout a closted actor thats better than TT and that he can't understand the interest in TT when Ted had some many other great BI's like Crisp Lisp. YeahTT is so boring that he can't stop posting about him.

I wonder if Ted is looking to end the TT crap and is using Ian to make look more ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

He has claimed that Jake is bearding with Reese, but no mention of a boyfriend, strange.

HisHighness said on February 9th, 2009 at 5:46 pm

I will reveal more about them [Jake and Austin] once my lawyers give me the o.k.

link

Anonymous said...

He may have said he was bearding with Reese but with the 2nd HW actress, the one who he supposedly had sex with over the last 3 years and went to clubs, there is no mention of Reese. Jake/Reese started in '07 and is going on year 2, according to Ian not only is he bearding but during this timeframe but havng sex with this other check. Iand did say the past 3 years, what 3 years? 2002- 2004 he was with kiki and got back with her in '05. No chicks in '06 just rumors and then 07-present Reese.

Where do any of the 2 actresses fit in and if Austin was around, where was he?

He posted a picture of them at the Lakers game but that's it.

Not only does he write bad fan fic, he isn't even using the toothytile site he referenced for a timeline, bad writer, LOL!!

Anonymous said...

2002- 2004 he was with kiki and got back with her in '05.

He was with Kiki and with a lot of other people.

Anonymous said...

Why does he need a lawyer to give him the Ok to talk about them? Other gossip bloggers have including Jaxson and nothing happened to then, the posts including Jaxson are still in their archives.

And where is the proof that Ian was waiting for regarding the mogul? Tha's not proof, are there pics? E-mails? And he says that the mogul "reveals more intimate details". Did I miss a post? What intimate details did he reveal before.

Ian=Tool.

Anonymous said...

2:36 What other people? Apparently not in public and under the radar. This "mogul" claims that they both dated the same woman so they would look straight, that means that they put on a public face, ok if true what woman? If it industry parties then that wouldn't make sense since Jake alreay was with Kiki or Jenny lewis or whoever and the mogul could have easily gotten an escort.

Sloppy, lazy writing=bad fan fic.

I just hope he doesn't add Heath to his crap, i can imagine waht is being sent to him.

Anonymous said...

"Me, I'll just sit back here with my hot chocolate and watch it all unfold."

Me too. Pass the popcorn.

February 09, 2009 11:30 PM


Me three. Wish we could all snuggle under a blanket together :)

I wish everything good and wonderful for Jake, and bearding is not good or wonderful!

Anonymous said...

Ian is looking for traffick for his shitty video that will "debuting" online tonight.

"Secret pad"?? Tonight TT and his BF try to hide BT under the nanny's breasts!

Anonymous said...

Ian posted this in the comments:

"HisHighness said on February 10th, 2009 at 3:27 pm

He told me they stopped dating cause Toothy was getting too paranoid. As for dates, I’ll reveal them soon - once I have a bit more corroboration."

Anonymous said...

2:36 What other people? Apparently not in public and under the radar. This "mogul" claims that they both dated the same woman so they would look straight, that means that they put on a public face, ok if true what woman? If it industry parties then that wouldn't make sense since Jake alreay was with Kiki or Jenny lewis or whoever and the mogul could have easily gotten an escort.

Natalie Portman is a possibility.

And dated does not mean necessarily publicly. You can date in full view of the public or within the confines of Hollywood circles, in ways the public never really know about.

Dates can be half-hinted at references or full-blown public romances designed for attention.

Jake "publicly" dated Portman years ago (although more by virtue of presspack assumption) and she could have dated someone else behind the scenes to help her career. A lot of young actresses date the daddy moguls in non-committal, just-for-show ways.

Anonymous said...

Ian is looking for traffick for his shitty video that will "debuting" online tonight.

"Secret pad"?? Tonight TT and his BF try to hide BT under the nanny's breasts!


Lol, angry much?

Look if you hate it, steer clear of it. Nobody's forcing you to follow this with a gun to your head.

Anonymous said...

2:36 What other people? Apparently not in public and under the radar.

When will you learn or accept that Jake has private private life and lives under the radar most of the time?

Anonymous said...

Bitch-Back! Pattinson, Toothy, Vices & Vixens

Dear Ted:
So after having read your columns for as long as I have been, like many other faithful readers, I just assumed that everyone in the world had already guessed the true identity of Toothy Tile. But I was recently telling some friends of mine Toothy's identity and they were shocked! I didn't realize that his facade was so good that seemingly smart people had no idea he was gay. Thanks for enlightening us all, Ted!
—anj779

Dear Toothy Talk:
What makes you so confident you know for sure who he is?

Dear Ted:
Love, love, love your column. Please answer me this: Is Toothy Tile Owen Wilson?
—Shell

Dear Wilson Wondering:
The way Owen loves to lust all the ladies, there's no way he's our Tooth. Not far off, though, certainly in the offbeat appeal.

The Awful Truth

Anonymous said...

"Jake "publicly" dated Portman years ago "

It wasn't in 2004 but around 2006
And this rumour of "date" has been quickly denied, these two have been friends for years!
And I don't remember Portman dating a "mogul" publicly either !

Anonymous said...

Austin is supposed to have been Jake's constant boyfriend for approx. 4-5 years now, yet, Halperin has not made any mention of a boyfriend. He has claimed that Jake is bearding with Reese, but no mention of a boyfriend, strange.

Austin is only supposed to be Jake's unswerving boyfriend of some years according to those that want to believe that. There's no evidence of anything remotely monogamous in the same way there's no evidence Reese has ever jumped into bed with JG.

There is literally nothing to say JG/AN don't have open relationships, date men and women or just guys behind the scenes but have some kind of loyalty bond that keeps them loosely bound on and off.

And as for the fangirls tying themselves in knots over the finer details, don't you see the finer details and "timelines" you're all babbling on about may ALL be a bunch of BS or put out to make you think that things happened this way.

Maybe Halperin is right. Maybe he's wrong. Maybe he's halfway. But none of these timeline features you're quoting can be proven and thus Halperin's statements disproven on the basis of them. What exactly can one prove about this:

He may have said he was bearding with Reese but with the 2nd HW actress, the one who he supposedly had sex with over the last 3 years and went to clubs, there is no mention of Reese. Jake/Reese started in '07 and is going on year 2, according to Ian not only is he bearding but during this timeframe but havng sex with this other check. Iand did say the past 3 years, what 3 years? 2002- 2004 he was with kiki and got back with her in '05. No chicks in '06 just rumors and then 07-present Reese.

Man, I am confused just reading this. Honey, you need to calm down some.

Bottom line s take Mr Halperin with grain of salt as necessary but don't expect any Hollywood star's life to fit some set in stone timeline created by the fans at IHJ, Gyllenbabble, WFT/2 or anywhere else. There will be plenty that goes on that goes quite unreported on gets onto any timeline.

Anonymous said...

Look if you hate it, steer clear of it. Nobody's forcing you to follow this with a gun to your head.

Some things can't be helped. Like a moth to a flame.

Anonymous said...

Jake "publicly" dated Portman years ago "

It wasn't in 2004 but around 2006
And this rumour of "date" has been quickly denied, these two have been friends for years!
And I don't remember Portman dating a "mogul" publicly either !


In typical breathless fangirl fashion you haven't read properly what I said.

To thump it home yet again, in the hope that contact will be made to whatever gray matter is avaliable, I said that "dating" doesn't necessarily have to be done in the public eye.

An actress (for example) can date or have a public friendship (assumed as more by MiniVan Majority) with an actor while behind the scenes "dating" a mogul for industry functions. The public doesn't need to know this aspect and she doesn't need to mention it.

It's less about facts and more about what the public is willing to bend its collective imagination to.

Anonymous said...

Every actor has a private life silly. What this "mogul" is alleging is that they dated the same woman to look straight. Jake dated Kiki in 2004, the year this "mogul" claims they started dating, Jake already looked straight by dating/living with her, who was the mogul dating, Kiki? I see that you already asked Ian about the time line and he claims he will provide it soon once he gets collaboration, LOL!!

He is a n investigaing reporter, should'nt he have done that before hand? And while he is at it, he should provdide a time line for the 2 bimbos he mentioned, where was Kiki, Austin during this time period.

Natalie? I should ask Ian if the mogul dated her, Ians seems to have too much time on his hands wrting bad fan fic and answering the comments on his blog, this is the most action he has gotten ever, LOL!!!

PS; You notice how Ian has already Het upped TT!!!

Anonymous said...

^^Very funny. Laughing out Loud (that's so I don't get a citation from the lol police). I've been trying to watch overuse of exclamation points too, Officer! ;)

Anonymous said...

Btw, here is the Natalie dating pics you were talking about.

http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/06/01/jake_gyllenhaal_and_natalie_po.html

But Jake and Natalie were assumed to be dating YEARS before this, probably back around 2004, when photos of the two emerged, which is what I am referring to.

There is a beach hillside pic of them years earlier. Hopefully someone can dig it out. Even then people assumed they were dating.

She's a good candidate for this.

Anonymous said...

There is no mogul, nor HW actresses that had weird sex with him, you gullible fools.

IMO, Ted wnats to dump TT and is using Ian by making the tale more ridiculous. Read Ian's post about how he hopes Ted's readers don't stop reading him because he "outed" TT because Ted has a whole bunch of other great BI's!!!

Ian will now make up a timeline because you asked for it, if you didn't he wouldn't.

Anonymous said...

Okay, found it:

2002, plenty early enough:

http://images.popsugar.com/uploads12/jake-g-natalie-2002.jpg

Not saying it is her, these stars go through several women, real and fake, just she'd be a decent candidate.

Anonymous said...

... he should provdide a time line for the 2 bimbos he mentioned, where was Kiki, Austin during this time period.

On Mars.
Why are you playing stupid? That does not your "arguments".

Anonymous said...

There is no mogul, nor HW actresses that had weird sex with him, you gullible fools.

IMO, Ted wnats to dump TT and is using Ian by making the tale more ridiculous. Read Ian's post about how he hopes Ted's readers don't stop reading him because he "outed" TT because Ted has a whole bunch of other great BI's!!!

Ian will now make up a timeline because you asked for it, if you didn't he wouldn't.


Well I guess you'd better shove off and leave people to wonder then hadn't you?

Why would you stick around for something clearly beneath you? Don't mind us anyway. You run along now, we'll hold the fort.

Anonymous said...

IMO, Ted wnats to dump TT and is using Ian by making the tale more ridiculous.

Ted is not Ian, what Ian does has nothing to do with Ted.

Anonymous said...

There is no mogul, nor HW actresses that had weird sex with him, you gullible fools.

Hmmmm, I notice you're not up in arms/visibly upset about Oprah.

Anonymous said...

Nice try 3:59: Jake and Natalie diod date for a bit back when he was about 19 and she was 18, it was off the radar and before Jenny and Kiki, they were both in NY (he was at Columbia).

The rumors of them dating was in '06 but it was denied. She was with Gael at the time unless he is the mogul, LOL!!

Anonymous said...

The rumors of them dating was in '06 but it was denied.

Denied by whom?

Anonymous said...

There is no mogul...you gullible fools.

Btw, this keeps cropping up everywhere you post but you're really old aren't you? Like, past it.

By any chance you wouldn't happen to be Cantara would you? She's a really old scrawny bird as well.

Anonymous said...

Nice try 3:59: Jake and Natalie diod date for a bit back when he was about 19 and she was 18, it was off the radar and before Jenny and Kiki, they were both in NY (he was at Columbia).

According to whom?

Documents and sworn confession to prove please?

Otherwise, tis all potential confabulated People twaddle.

Stalemate as far as I can see on these facts and figures.

Anonymous said...

I'm inclined to think 4:01 is right. And I'm not Cantara/Naomi/Poppa/Atticus etc. :)

Anonymous said...

Perhaps the actress they both dated was Kirsten herself.

Who's to say it couldn't be. Living one life in the public eye and another for industry functions.

Anonymous said...

*Is* I needed here?

Anonymous said...

Atticus, if you want to come here and roll in the sandbox and poop your bed you can. You have a free pass for being the only truly honest being in this whole Hollywood shebang.

Anonymous said...

Not buying the Natalie bearding stuff, especially since she was dating Gael García Bernal when this bearding with Jake and a mogul was supposed to be taking place. But then I don't buy the idea that two people would share the same beard at the same time, but it's fun watching people try to make sense of all this, so I'll just grab another handful of popcorn and keep munching.

Anonymous said...

February 9 Narrative Problems
I wonder if cutting up the story into flashbacks would do the trick.


Ian and Stephen have the same problem or so it seems.

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