Jake Gyllenhaal and Penelope Cruz
Vanity Fair Oscar Party 2009
Vanity Fair Oscar Party 2009
If you're a girl of a certain age, or even a metrosexual boy with an enlightened sense of style, chances are you have a gay best friend. You two are probably pretty tight and tell each other everything. After all, gays are like really understanding well-dressed genies, right? Like all cute, smart and adorable animals, your gay is more complicated than you think. To help you get the most out of your gay BFF, we've assembled a brief manual of operations.
Gay men are like straight men, it's just they're not trying to fuck you.
"Why can't there be straight guys, like you?" you ask us and we smile, secure in our knowledge that we're more talented, charming and well-groomed than any straight boy you'll ever encounter. Here's the dirty little secret the gays have been keeping from you: We're huge horrible jerks, too—it's just we have no desire to pork you, so we won't fuck with your head. Yes, we listen to you and talk about our feelings, but believe it or not, these are things that straight guys do as well, they just don't do it with you. Again, because of the whole fucking thing. They're trying to get into bed with you and men, in general, always assume there's some sort of secret game of indifference and emotional manipulation that's needed to score. How do we know this? Because we do it to other guys all the time. We don't call our dates back. We act aloof and have terrible fears of commitment. You know how we tell you about all the terrible things our various boyfriends do to us? Well, guess what? We're doing them, too. Why do we seem like such a better catch than straight dudes? Because we don't want to have sex with you. If we did, we'd be jerks, too.
Never fall in love with your gay.
Following from this, the single most important thing to maintaining a long term friendship with your gay is to never-ever fall in love with them. Remember how you felt about N'Sync growing up? Chances are, your gay BFF brings up a lot of those old pre-teen feelings. At some point, perhaps during some 2am chat about the various merits of Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Chip, you'll think to yourself, "This is so much better than the annoying singles scene. If only I could get him to sleep with me." When you start having these thoughts, you need to send your gay home. While we can have deep emotional relationships with our girlfriends, we're never going to be able to give you what you want. The reason the relationship is easy is because it's not going anywhere. Real relationships are messy, complicated and riddled with self-doubt and expectation. Pursuing a gay boy will only wind up with you resenting them, not just because they can't return your love, but because you've spent all your time wooing them instead of finding a man who will give you what you want.
Do not call yourself a "fag hag." Do not let your gay call you one.
"Fag hag" is a really demeaning term. It's a fat girl who can never get a date. It's someone who still has unicorn posters in her bedroom. You're a woman. Your life isn't defined by your gays and if it is, you should reconsider what you're doing with your life. Don't hide behind your gays. Don't use them as a crutch. Instead, face life fabulously together.
Don't ask "So are you the guy or the girl?" Do ask about gay sex.
Don't laugh! This happens more often than you think. At some point, you're going to start becoming interested in how this whole gay sex thing happens and despite everything the Japanese manga industry has told you, it's not all longing gazes and hand-holding. Believe it or not, most gays are shy about talking about their sex lives, at least with straight people. This is because, for the most part, the heterosexual world considers what we do gross and icky. Taking an active interest in your gays sex life will show them that you're actually interested in them. On a related note, feel free to ask them about gay rights and gay causes. Don't just tell them you agree with them, but ask their opinion. It's a two-way street girlfriend. It is totally okay to ask if they're a top or a bottom, though. Just don't laugh when they say they're a top.
If he drags you to a gay bar, drag him to a straight one.
Another dirty little secret about your gay BFF: The reason he drags you out to gay bars is to get laid. As previously mentioned, gays are just as bad as straights when it comes to dating and hooking-up and having you by his side takes off a lot of the pressure. Just as he's your emotional safety net, at a gay bar, you are his rejection safety net. You're also a convenient conversation starter: "Oh, yeah, this is Dana. I thought I'd take her out and show her how the gay half lives!" You're someone who can vouch for the fact that he's not a psycho without looking like competition.
This is great and all, but you need to make sure there's some parity. Use your gay boy to get you some straight tail. Promise him a night of breeder fun and hold him to it. The best way to lure a gay out on a straight night is say you want to start off at Hooters. As we've mentioned many times before on this blog, Hooters is gay catnip. We don't know why, but seriously, just thinking about Hooters makes me want to call up The Hostess for hot wings. Once you have them out, drag them to a straight bar, point out men you're into and use them as props.
Now, here's how this works for both of you. At some point in the night your gay is going to meet a man or you are. You need to have a signal for each other which means, "I am ready to get laid now. Time to go." If you think this is mean or unfair, just imagine you've met a really cute guy at a bar, you're getting along famously and your gay friend is there, talking about the latest Daft Punk album. Remember, the key to a healthy straight-gay relationship is to be having sex with people who will have sex with you. Never let that trump your desire for emotional snuggle time.
Don't make your boyfriend hang out with your gay. If you're a straight dude, please don't assume we want to sleep with you.
Congratulations! You've followed all our advice and instead of developing a tragic codependency with your gay, you've both found boyfriends are maintaining a healthy friendship. Now, do your straight lover a favor and don't insist that he become BFF's with your gay, too. If it happens, let it happen, but as many a Craigslist rant attests to, straight guys don't like competition, even if it's from gay dudes.
And now a word for the straight guys: We don't want to sleep with you. Now, because we're guys, we know that underneath that macho exterior, there's a insecure guy constantly craving validation. But it's amazing that no matter how unattractive, unshaven or slovenly they are, every straight guy I've known for any length of time has admitted that he assumes I am secretly into them. What's worse is that they're crestfallen when I say, "Sorry, you're not my type." Yes, some of you guys are really hot, but for the most part, our desire not to get beaten up and killed trumps whatever desire we have to make a move on you. Now, if you start reciprocating, all bets are off, but so long as you don't want to sleep with us, we're probably not going to try to sleep with you.
Because you know another gay person, do not assume that they will make the perfect boyfriend for your gay BFF.
You know what happens when you set us up on a date with the other gay you know? We go for dinner at a mid-scale restaurant and talk about you the whole time. We smile politely at each other and go our separate ways. Why? There's nothing so unsexy as being set-up by our straight BFF.
Source: Queerty, The Care and Feeding of Your Homosexual: A User's Guide for Straights; Photo: IHJ
1,278 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1001 – 1200 of 1278 Newer› Newest»Biking and pussy hunting with Lance - What pussy? I remember three amigos and picture with John Mayer.
The hip hop video - OK, that was supposed to be macho.
Straight man walking Reese - Two girlfriends shopping and drinking coffee, nothing macho about it.
The hip hop video is just bizarre. Embarassing for all concerned, still can't get over Ron Howard, just such a random group of people.
Glad OMG was able to help you out with that Stronghold jeans tip, 6:17, mentioned for the first time on either of these blogs just yesterday. You may think they grasp at straws, but you're still checking their website out.
You've made your point. You still think Jake is gay. Okay, we agree there. You apparently can't stand the idea of him being with Austin. Fine. Let it go. People here or on OMG are not going to have a conniption fit just because you don't. It's not that huge of a deal.
Only you seem to be making it a huge deal. No one else is; most every other TB'er seems to be able to believe he & Austin either aren't still together or are, and yet still be able to move along.
Seems we've seen this middle-aged swipe a couple times before, just like old tried & true. Is that the best you can ever do.
"Biking and pussy hunting with Lance - What pussy? I remember three amigos and picture with John Mayer."
L&J checking out the ladies in Austin. The pictures are on IHJ.
I'm a major pussyhound and supported Bush and McCain!!!
7:22.. blinking heck 7:22.. who's clutching at straws now.
(btw, did you know that old Reesy doesn't let her children call adults by their first names but insists of them calling then Miss Jane / Miss Susan etc. Wonder how often they talk about Miss Jake behind mum's back. The woman is obviously a monster, how can Jake bear to even beard with her, let alone have a possible relationship).
L&J checking out the ladies in Austin. The pictures are on IHJ.
IHJ gallery, paparazzi pics 2006 - no pictures from Austin, TX.
13 Sep 2006 - Lance Armstrong and Jake Gyllenhaal at Gnarls Barkley
I'm a major pussyhound and supported Bush and McCain!!!
LOL
Lance and Jake just look like two (not very close) friends / aquaintances watching a concert to me. Its hardly like their at the local Hooters bar is it (now that would be funny though wouldn't it, can you imagine jake's expression).
Jake should ditch the straight macho act. It doesn't suit him. He would do so much better as a gender blending queer icon.
Queer icon sounds great, gender blending would be too much :)
Ewan McGregor's gay pic
Yup, too much!
Gender Bending Jakey
Babblers don't have problems with pissy Jake when he's with reese.
Pants in Nov. O5 are different, not to mention he could have worn Austin's pants back then too.
Babblers don't have problems with pissy Jake when he's with reese.
Great fans! LOL
Baggy jeans are not just a hip hop fashion statement, lots of teens and men and women in their 20's wear jeans like that, stop sterotyping people. You must be middle aged because you nothing about fashion.
IA. Michelle wore baggy jeans in the last candids. Seems to be en vogue now.
Lindsay Lohan went to Samantha Ronson's half-brother's bar mitzvah on Saturday. A photographer asked Lindsay — who was raised Catholic — if she was switching religions, to which she replied: "I'm trying." She'll be a nice Jewish wife for Sam. [Daily Mail]
Jake Gyllenhaal was seen shopping for women's underwear, but when someone recognized him, he fled without making the purchase. Poor Reese! [The Sun]
Blind item:
"Which mega-star's reputation is being trashed by a tranny in Miami? The endowed lass is telling anyone who'll listen all about his embarrassing sexual positions." [Gatecrasher]
That underwear story about Jake really makes him sound gay. :-D
That whole underwear story is the biggest bunch of BS I have ever heard. We are expected to believe that Jake, a man who buys $300 jeans and $85 t-shirts, would buy cheap underwear in some kind of Target like store for Reese, a woman who buys $900 shoes and $200 lingerie sets. I think Reeke's PR team must be drinking to much and coming up with these ridiculous stories.
That underwear story about Jake really makes him sound like a fool.
Hilarious. Babblers are so worried about Jake is gay/wearing Austin's jeans they are pulling out photos of him in baggy jeans from 4 years ago as evidence. Talk about being obsessed.
That UK underwear story is hokey. Probably someone that looked like him and the shopper was confused. Doesn't help his reputation any though.
Sorry Babblers,
those baggy jeans from 4 years ago are Austin's too!
Maybe Jake is just mindful of the recession (and he's checking his pennies--RME)-which is why he's buying underwear in a bargain basement discount store.
Re the Matt Katz pic, does anyone really think he is going to admit those are Jake's legs around Austin. Of course he will protect his friend. That riddle will never be solved. Even if he says they belong to someone else, no way it will be believed.
I see the delusional OMG fangirls are at it again. *yaaaaawn*
Re the Matt Katz pic
Am I the only one to see woman's legs ???
"I think Reeke's PR team must be drinking to much and coming up with these ridiculous stories."
Please no need PR here, the "sun" is well know to be shit!!
Am I the only one to see woman's legs ???
You're definitely not.
That M&S story is totally ridiculous - as if he wouldn't buy Reese lingerie at the most exclusive boutiques, and not a discount store. If they're gonna make up a story, at least make up a good one like La Perla or Myla, or vintage The Lake and the Stars. We need to get paid for our these ideas. ;)
Dear Ted:
Your column is fab—I look forward to reading it every day at work! Just wondering—is Toothy Tile Brian Austin Green?
—Curious in Calabasas
Dear Matchmaker:
No, but BAG could be his type.
The Awful Truth
Dear ignorant American/Non-British posters on WFT2 who are trying to discredit a silly story:
Whilst I fully agree with the argument that the underwear story is rubbish, please stop making yourselves look like fucking idiots by referring to M&S as a Target-like, bargain basement discount store. It isn't.
Yours Sincerely,
Someone who is actually from England.
Some of us do know what M&S is like and have shopped there. So, STFU.
11:27, Thank you.
Just the fact that they could spend so much time trying to prove that Jake must be wearing Austin's pants because they are too long is evidence of the kind of "grasping at straws" that is so sad there ... and here.
They have to cling to these ridiculous explanations because they've got nothing else to sustain the fantasy. Something as simple as "he like to wear baggy jeans," would just make too much sense for them to grasp.
7:30, I know many adults who do not allow children to call adults by their first name. That's how I was also raised. I see nothing wrong with it.
I realize you hate Reese, but please, you chose the wrong example to try to make your point.
Some of us do know what M&S is like and have shopped there. So, STFU.
Yes, and the people that have shopped there (including me) are not the ones calling it a bargain basement store, because it so blatantly isn't. Aldi is, Asda (sort of) is, M&S isn't, by any stretch of the imagination.
Well, that's a little unfair, bargain basement. It's not a Target like store.
Jake and Reese are multi millionairs, they don't shop in M&S. It's made up BS to promote M&S probably. Maybe they have new stuff to sell there?
"I know many adults who do not allow children to call adults by their first name. That's how I was also raised. I see nothing wrong with it."
It must be odd, though, for people like Jake and Maggie, brought up in progressive schools where you call the teacher by their first names, to encounter this formality. It's southern "manners" - quaint.
" I know many adults who do not allow children to call adults by their first name. That's how I was also raised. I see nothing wrong with it."
It's quaint, for sure. Like alot of The Chin's "notions".
Next we believe Jake and Reese shop in H&M. Nothing against H&M, I shop there. I usually buy jeans there for 20 or 39 Euros. Jake buys his for 300 $. If I did that I'd live in the streets soon. LOL.
Exactly.
For me "ValueCity" is discount bargain basmement etc.
"Target" is already expensive.
"Newman Marcus" is unapproachable.
No offense meant, I love Target, and shop at regular department stores. Jake and Reese are in a different league, obviously, and it just seems there's a lot of promotion going on, to his detriment.
Stop with the Target = Marks and Spencers thing already! I don't believe the story for a second, but as a fellow Brit I can say that 11:48 is right. I mean, it's not quite Waitrose, but it's a hell of a long way from Aldi.
Dear Someone who is actually from England,
I have one easy question. Is The Sun story about Jake shopping in UK?
Jake was in the states last week. The story is made up or based on mistaken identification.
This fussing about the store is ridiculous.
He wasn't in London.
Am I the only one to see woman's legs ???
Look again :)
Fancy knickers are a splurge, especially if your supposed bf/fiance is buying them for a romantic getaway, IMO. ;)
I have one easy question. Is The Sun story about Jake shopping in UK?
That's a weirdly worded question, so I'm not sure what you mean. If you asking whether the story was in the print edition of The Sun, I can't answer right now because I don't read The Sun (it's a crappy tabloid, though probably not in the same sense of the word that Americans use). I'm out for the evening soon, so I can check the Bizarre page and tell you when I get back, although if the story went up yesterday it would likely have been published in the News of the World (which is the Sunday version of The Sun, another thing I'm not sure will make sense to non-British people).
Reese's insisting that her children not call adults by their first name is neither "quaint" nor unusual.
Many people would consider this good manners. And since none of us know Jake or Maggie, we don't know if they would consider this odd or not.
And even if they do, so what. Those are Reese and Ryan's children, to raise as they see fit.
I don't like her either, but this is silly.
1:29 PM, Is The Sun claming that Jake was in UK last week?
"I don't like her either, but this is silly."
Sorry m'am. . . :)
D'you think Jake calls his hipster father "sir" ;)
p.s. Im joking. Im kidding - forgot to do the LOLs or smileys. sigh.
yeah and seriously I dont think letting her kids be bullied in school to toughen them up and teach them how to protect themselves, as R said in interview, is good upbringing, either.
what do I know? nothing? nada, like everybody else in this freakin' world. is any of my business? none of this shit is any of my business. who said it was? honestly Im sick of the snow and winter. it just keeps coming.
Off topic, sort of:
I remember reading somewhere ( I don't remeber where) that Heath had intended to introduce Abbie Cornish to Jake. The article thought it was kind of ironic that Abbie wound up with Ryan and Jake with Reese.
Did anyone else hear about this?
Sounds familiar, but I don't remember any details.
Probably PR wanted to remind the public how straight Jake is.
Did anyone else hear about this?
I read about it somewhere. IDK if it's true though.
Just to clarify something.. M&S may not be Target, but it certainly isn't a fancy store and its knickers are good quality and very good value but are certainly not fancy, top price for a underwear set maybe £20 / £25. It the sort of place you would buy your own from, but if you got a present with an M&S label in it you'd sort of think the person giving it to you was maybe a bit cheap. It also has an ever so slightly dowdy reputation which it is always trying to shake off but never really does.
From someone in the UK who is currently wearing good old M&S knickers as she types (sorry if that's just too much information).
sorry if that's just too much information
No picture, no TMI!
To stay polite like Miss Witherspoon would want us to be: Here are new pics of Mr. Jonze, Ms. Williams and since she's underage we can call her Matilda:
leaving L.A.
;)
Do you think that when Reesy's heading out for one of her coffee shop photo ops she's says to the kids. 'won't be long kids, just going driving with Miss Jakey'.
'won't be long kids, just going driving with Miss Jakey'.
"Miss Jakey". ROTFL.
You know what? Moronic knickers story is much more interesting than Reese.
I've told you to buy your own trousers, you kinky schmuck!
Jake is not my first "gayguy". :)
And I'm not a natural blonde.
^^Yuck.
The guy in the first pic is cute, looks a bit like Jake.
Chris O'Donnell?
Hold your meal
Chris O'Donnell?
Oh right, that's him. I didn't know they were dating and I didn't know he was gay.
Ewww...
OK, you can now stop posting chinny pictures.
Nice pictures of Michelle,Spike & Matilda.
I'm so sorry about Heath, but i'm glad Michelle found love again
:´)
OK, you can now stop posting chinny pictures.
Agree. No more Chinny pics, please.
Stunning Pink Dolphin Photographed in Louisiana
Check out these photos of an albino bottlenose dolphin with a pink rather than white skin pigmentation which lives in an estuary in Louisiana. It's unclear if this photo is recent — as the dolphin has been photographed before — but it's definitely gorgeous.
Said Charter boat captain Erik Rue, who shot the photo: "The dolphin appears to be healthy and normal other than its coloration, which is quite beautiful and stunningly pink. The mammal is entirely pink from tip to tail and has reddish eyes indicating it's albinism...I have personally spotted the pink dolphin 40 to 50 times in the time since the original sighting as it has apparently taken up residence with its family in the Calcasieu ship channel. As time has passed the young mammal has grown and sometimes ventures away from its mother to feed and play but always remains in the vicinity of the pod. Surprisingly, it does not appear to be drastically affected by the environment or sunlight as might be expected considering its condition, although it tends to remain below the surface a little more than the others in the pod."
UPDATE: Just found some video of the pink dolphin, captured in Cameron, Louisiana in late October. Watch it, AFTER THE JUMP...
Pink Dolphin
This is amazing!
"If fanboys still hate the film after going and seeing it, they can all line up and suck my dick."
-- Matthew Goode who stars in the new big budget adaptation of the Watchmen graphic novel. The actor went on the offensive after learning hardcore fans are saying he doesn’t suit the character he's playing before even seeing the film.
Michelle looks like the prettier (and more talented) version of Kiki Dunst. I hope for Michelle that Spike is an ok guy. He's a good director. He was Maggie's director in "Adaption".
Hot new Anne Hathaway pics:
hottie
^^I'm looking forward to her movie with Johnny Depp. She has a lot of interesting films coming out. :)
3:28
ha,ha I think you got it right. I still like Kirsten better, i don't know why...she is a mess!
I still like Kirsten better, i don't know why...she is a mess!
Messed up people are more interesting. ;)
Anne - now there's Lola.
^^IA. I want to see her and Jake in a movie together again. Their car scene in BBM was hot. Remember it's his favourite scene in the movie. ;)
I dunno, Anne annoys me in the way Julia Roberts has always annoyed me. she's strange looking. seems no person underneath the hype. whatever.
always thot Kiki and Jake were a couple of doped up kiddos, and he seemed very needy, just wanted his mommy.
"Remember it's his favourite scene in the movie. ;)"
Hahah, right! "Excuzez moi, Mz Hathaway, may i touch your boobs?"
I loved that car scene in BBM too - she's champing at the bit to be with him, and she says, panting, "ya don't think a'hm too fast, do ya, maybe we should put the brakes on?" It's really cute. :)
Car scene was hot? hahaha gimme a break, I'm going out to get myself some popcorn.
Hahah, right! "Excuzez moi, Mz Hathaway, may i touch your boobs?"
LOL.
The gal's got some nice looking boobs. No matter if he's gay or bi, Jakey seems to be quite the boobs man.
I frankly think he's terrified. Cf. Woody Allen, what was the movie when a giant boob kept following him around?
Jewish boys get traumetized by their mommies, doncha know.
The strange case of the looming boobies. EEEWWWWWW!
O jake run away with me and feel safe from sMORTHERiztion.
honey, Im roasting fuckeen Bambi in my fireplace, please come home to TRUE MANLIHOOD.
(and then there's them fukeen bunnies in the freezer. . . )
SMOTHERization.
Because the boob kept following him around.
FUCK! whut's this with the London panties spree - honey, I dont care whut you're wearin', Im your sweet patootie any time you need some hot sweet Danny luv. . .
Hey, man, hop on my hawg, I'll get you outta this shit. . .
whut's this with the London panties spree
LOL
Okay, so being Wither's poon dont cut it. I give up!
You wanna rack? babe I gotta rack o' Bambi smothered in garlic and anchovies for crissake, come on back to nature.
Danny, my little hot paprika, next time I'll wear your favorite Bugs Bunny jockstrap - and nothing else.
"I frankly think he's terrified."
Not really by Eva Mendens's boobs lol
He do loves her boobs!
Perfect for Lola, better than Anne.
Because the boob kept following him around.
Stop looking at me! I kept my boobs to myself and Jake didn't pay them any attention anyway.
Jakey fastens his attention on boobs so he doesnt have to think about the oozy coozy stuff and faint.
Don't remind me!
Dear Ted:
Your column is fab—I look forward to reading it every day at work! Just wondering—is Toothy Tile Brian Austin Green?
—Curious in Calabasas
Dear Matchmaker:
No, but BAG could be his type.
Of course Brian Austin Green could be his type.
Jake
before
... and after.
Ouch!
"No, I don't think Jake is that good at lying. Remember his blushing during that Rome interview?"
You must be a babbler or think Jake dates Reese if you believe that article. When the interviewer asked him if he was dating Reese, he said no. The interviewer repeatedly asked again or wanted details, Jake bristled and said no. The interviewer said he blushed. Babblers took that as "OMG he's lying, Jake and Reese are really dating!" Well one thing is, who's to say it was a blush and it was from lying. I think his face turned red because he was angry at the interviewer harping on it, not accepting his honest answer the 1st time, doubting it and asking it again and again. It would piss me off too. Other reasons for "blushing", heat, meds, alcohol, stress.
None of the above - Jake was embarrassed. Babblers were stupid as usual.
Jake told the truth (Reese is just a friend), he didn't want to tell a lie on the record. He was embarrassed because Reeke Rome photo shoot was planned for the same weekend and the interviewer would find about it in a few days.
I dont't know about anybody else but I am sick of Ted's ridiculous Toothy antics. Until he has got something worth saying I think he just needs to shut up.
8:11, ITA.
I am beginning to think that Ted has no real idea what is going on with Jake. But he has to say something, no matter how ridiculous because the Toothy saga is too popular.
Besides, didn't he, predict over a year ago, that Jake and Reese were supposed to have parted, long before now. I don't think he has the sources he used to have.
Something I've been wondering.
I don't think Ian Halperin has any credibility, but I have been curious as to why, since he began his blog with "outing" Jake, he doesn't know that Ausin Nichols is gay and Jake's boyfriend.
He made such a big point of talking about his interview with Ted C. and praising Ted. How could he know Ted, have talked with Ted and not know about Jake and Austin.
Wouldn't you think that if you are going to use the Toothy saga to promote your site, you would make sure you know everything about it, especially the relationship between Jake and Austin.
It makes him look uninformed, unreliable and foolish.
What do you think his game is?
Here's my take on it. After his little sit-down with Ted he learned there's a legion of people out there who live and breath the Legend of Toothy Tile. He figured he'd take a little of that info from Ted, use it on his own site, attract some of the legion of TT fans in order to promote his own agenda, which I assume had something to do with some movie or book he has coming out?
If you're correct, then he's not very bright. Wouldn't he realize that once word got around that he doesn't know anything about the backstory for Toothy Tile, nor does he offer anything concrete to back up the info he has put out, people would no longer check out his site.
I agree 8:59. But I also think Ian was about to give some info New info on Jake and Jake's people (lawyers) silenced him. Just like JJ. Nothing about Toothy from Ian lately. Don't think there will be any time soon.
Not unless Jake's boyfriend wasn't Austin. Maybe Chris?
Halperin is an idiot. What has he really said? That Jake had sex with two women who are not identified nor is a time line given. That he had sex with a movie mogul. Not identified and no time line given. That Jake is Toothy. Duh!
I think Halperin tried to indicate that Jake is Bi. With that in mind for all I know Reeke PR was behind it. Because if Jake is Bi then there is a remote possibility that Reeke is REAL!!
Halperin I guess has nothing more to say now.
It's obvious Halperin is an idiot. He did not do his research in entirety before releasing his story. I don't think Ted told him all that much. Halperin says he is a friend of Ted, but we haven't seen Ted use those words anywhere. I agree with the poster who said he was just trying to get some hits for his site. He didn't even know the whole Toothy story for heavens sake. Austin is a critical part of it.
Then why was Ted on Helperin's internet-radio show? (I read that here.)
I think Halperin tried to indicate that Jake is Bi. With that in mind for all I know Reeke PR was behind it. Because if Jake is Bi then there is a remote possibility that Reeke is REAL!!
I believe all that was just posted about Ian, but does Jake being bi bother you? It's a possibility. I totally believe it because I believe Jake has had sex with women and men. And if the possibility of Reese and Jake being real is true, so be it. No big deal. I still believe he and Austin were together or had a something. The possibility of Jake being bisexual is much more than he not having or being interested in the opposite sex. Nothings wrong with it. Why do some have a problem with it?
If Jake and Reese are real, then he's something with incredible good taste in men (Austin / Chris / Heath, take your pick as per your preference) and appallingly bad taste in women (on both the looks and more importantly character). For long term happiness I really think he should consider going back to men.
someone, obviously not something.
3.21, I said Halperin was trying to say Jake was Bi by trying to link him with 2 women as most blogs including Ted say Jake is gay. No where have I said whether I believe Jake is gay or Bi.
So the question is, does it bother YOU when people say anything about Jake being gay? Are you homophobic or what? Just because he had sex with women doesn't make him Bi. Ask NPH :)
Nice to know you think Jake and Austin "had a something" LOL!
New Reeke pics on IHJ.
6:07 Yipee!!!!
(only joking of course)
IHJ Gallery
Reeke - Coffee In Brentwood
^^^ March 2
Awww, The Chin is all smiles for paparazzi.
Besides, didn't he, predict over a year ago, that Jake and Reese were supposed to have parted, long before now. I don't think he has the sources he used to have.
I'm sure Jake and Reese don't share fuaxmance plans with a lot of people.
I am beginning to think that Ted has no real idea what is going on with Jake. But he has to say something, no matter how ridiculous because the Toothy saga is too popular.
Huh?
What's ridiculous about Brian Austin Green being Jake's type?
So I guess that wasn't Jake buying underwear in the UK?
Why don't the kids ever go with them for breakfast? What did Jake have for breakfast to a toothpick? I usually don't need toothpicks after breakfast.
^^...to need a...
Jake likes to play with a toothpick and look cool! lol
^^Oh, ok then.
I think Halperin tried to indicate that Jake is Bi.
No, he didn't. First Ian's Toothy post was about Reeke being a sham.
The show the past two weeks has started to get going. This Tuesday will be the best yet. First off, NYC top Literary agent Jarred Weisfeld is suing the ass off Faber&Faber publishing for 10 million because of dirty Jew type remarks. He’ll be my guest with Dr. Charles Small of Yale U.
In Touch senior editor Noah Levy will follow them with an hour of what’s hot in celeb gossip. Not to be missed.
It’s all at ianundercover.com, Tuesday 8pm est. See ya there.
IUC
my life is a hundred times more interesting than the life of Reeke - what do you think these two do when they're togther besides snicker?
Talk about fashion and shopping.
Page Six
JUDAIC TURN?
LINDSAY Lohan, who was raised as a Catholic, wants to convert to Judaism to prove her commitment to her close friend, deejay Samantha Ronson. Lohan flew to London to attend the bar mitzvah of Ronson's half-brother, Joshua. "She's explored the Church of Scientology, she tried kabbalah, and now this. I think it's just another phase," her estranged father Michael Lohan, a born-again minister, told London's Daily Mail. "But either way, she's involving God in her life, and I'm happy about that."
Page Six
SIGHTINGS
CHELSEA Clinton celebrating her 29th birth day at '21' with her parents, and sending back the chocolate cake the chef sent out because she and father Bill are allergic. They had tiramisu instead . . .
People will often chew on toothpicks when they are trying to quit smoking.
Toothpick makes me look so tough and manly!
I really don't want to ignite the too big/too long jeans controversy from yesterday, but something occured to me.
It's possible that the jeans that Jake was wearing might have been a pair he bought as he was training for POP. His body did become bigger so it would only make sense to buy some clothes to accomadate that. And why throw out perfectly good clothes just because he is now closer to his normal size?
Also, if they are both on the same page with the pap shots, why do you suppose she is smiling in this current set, but he looks annoyed?
Reese wanted good pictures.
I was giving paparazzi an evil eye bacuase he was late.
It's possible that the jeans that Jake was wearing might have been a pair he bought as he was training for POP.
Nah, Jake's ass didn't shrink 30 cm / 12 inches since December.
12 inches? I've seen pictures of Austin. He doesn't strike as either a foot taller or wider than Jake.
So, who do you think the jeans really belong to?
I don't think their Austin's.
Or maybe this is just silly.
Two options:
1. for some inexplicable reason Jake bought jeans 3 sizes too big
2. Jake is sharing clothes with someone.
I am sorry for him, that he is going about with a smirking kleptomommy who has a sex addict brother and crazy parents, even more so than his own, I bet. but I can't waste my own days worrying about this boy and his possible sorrows and pants-fit and real estate investments and all that.
I think I'll go to Key West and soak in a hot tub and look at the moon thru the palm trees and so forth until I recover from this sickness.
Key West is full of hot gay boys. I wish I could go!
LOL. Plan on being in that hot tub for a year, I think that's how long it would take for me. ;)
Hot tub hot croissants hot boys
and oh those cuban hotties!
however long it takes!
Boys, boys, boys
I'm looking for a good time
Boys, boys, boys
Get ready for my love!
I know a dark secluded place.
A place where no one knows your face.
A glass of wine a fast embrace.
It's called Hernando's Hideaway ole!
And if we go to the spot that I am thinking of
You will be free, to gaze at me, and talk of love.
Just knock three times and whisper low, that you and I were sent by Joe
Then Strike a match and you will know you're in Hernando's Hideaway OLE!
Please text me Hernando's Hideaway address! My mobile: 09228607528
Monday, March 2nd 2009
Fuck No Cussing Week!
Tomorrow will be declared the saddest day ever in Los Angeles, because County Supervisor Michael Antonovich will announce the start of No Cussing Week. So all you gutter-mouthed bitches in L.A. better carry a bar of delicious-tasting soap with you, because you're going to have to suck on that shit when a dirty word spills out of your mouth!
Little 14-year-old McKay Hatch of South Pasadena High School is to blame for this. In 2007, he started the No Cussing Club after he became bothered by his friends' dirty ass mouths. He challenged them to stop using filthy words. Some of his friends accepted his challenge. Almost 2 years later, McKay's website has 30,000 members in over 30 countries.
McKay writes on his website that those who accept the challenge "won't cuss, swear, use bad language, or tell dirty jokes. Clean language is a sign of intelligence and always demands respect. I will use my language to uplift, encourage and motivate. I will Leave People Better Than I Found Them!"
FUCK THAT CUNT SHIT!
Dlisted
I urge all babblers to join the No Cussing Club and make little McKay happy!
Reese probably saw all those horrid pictures of herself on the net and decided she better start smiling for the camera for a change. Frowns not only make you look unpleasant, but old too.
Too bad that Reese's smile is unpleasant too.
Sean Penn is pushing for Harvey Milk's birthday to be recognized as a "day of significance" in California. Governor Schwarzenegger vetoed the bill last year, but Penn hopes his Oscar may change his mind.
Schwarzenegger says Milk's birthday should only be recognized in San Francisco, but State Senator Mark Leno plans to reintroduce a bill tomorrow with Penn and argue that Penn's Oscar win proves Milk has a larger significance. [USA Today]
Are you homophobic or what? Just because he had sex with women doesn't make him Bi. Ask NPH :)
^^ And just because he had sex with a man in the past does not say that he can not have sex with a woman now. Sure gay and bi men have sex with both sexes, but there are many men who are sexually attracted to both sexes but will only talk about or display opposite sexual attraction to the public while keeping same sex attracttion a secret. This has been discusse endless. Only that person knows if he is only interested in same sex. Bi men are in the closet also. They don't talk openly about it just as in the closet (gay men) don't. However society wants to and will call the bisexual man gay also just as it is done here. While women can change at a moments notice who they want to have sex with and not be labeled.
I believe in the Kinsey theory and I believe that the vast majority of people are bisexual but most won't act on it. If Jake is Gay it's no skin off my teeth and I don't care, but from what I have seen in pictures only, not read, and a little insight , he seems to be interested in both sexes.
No, I am not homophobic!
And, I will not be labeled homophobic because of your limited knowledge of human sexuality.
I will also continue the think he is bisexual until there is further proof to discount my belief.
You have any??
BI Jake wouldn't need a beard, he would find a girl to date and avoid the fauxmance.
It's possible that the jeans that Jake was wearing might have been a pair he bought as he was training for POP. His body did become bigger so it would only make sense to buy some clothes to accomadate that. And why throw out perfectly good clothes just because he is now closer to his normal size?
What planet are you people from?
Young men wear baggy clothes all the time. And Jake is a part of that generation.. The sneakers, same boots, pants hanging off his ass. It seems to be the in thing. Even some older or mid age men do this ( and look stupid imo ). Jake has always worn baggy jeans. Mostly because he does not have that much ass. Kind of flat. Hopefully no one is trying to insinuate that the jeans he's wearing are AUSTIN'S.
Like the legs around the shoulder, the Austin coat, the Austin hiding under the flat blanket in Jake's car. Come on people.
BI Jake wouldn't need a beard, he would find a girl to date and avoid the fauxmance.
As 11:46 says:
(Po ta toe) (Po tat oe) take your pick. Only he knows.
Only he knows.
No, Jake is not the only one who knows.
Gay men need beards, bi men date women too.
The sneakers, same boots, pants hanging off his ass.
Never seen Jake in "hanging off his ass" jeans before.
11:53, I am 9:14, and I do agree with you. I just posited that idea because I thought it might be another reasonable explanation for the size of the jeans.
I do agree that all of the attempts to "find the missing Austin" is rather silly. But people need to create something to cling to.
When were the last pictures of Jake and Austin taken? Was it May of 2007?
And it's now March 2009.
When were the last pictures of Jake and Stephen taken?
Jake and Ramona? Spring 2007?
^ nice try
So 12:18 PM,
double standard regarding paparazzi pictures is OK by you?
No "evidence" at all that Jake is bi - staring in astonishment at a woman's boobs? getting it on with Ellen and Penelope - ha ha ha. Kidding around with with dopester Kiki ha ha ha.
You "believe" in Kinsey. geeze not even Kinsey belived in Kinsey.
Read some of the classic gay authors, why doncha?
12:04 if Jake hasn't seen / been in contact with Austin since 2007 that's really sad isn't it. Assuming they were only ever very good friends it's a shame that Jake's lost touch with someone he was obviously very close to and from everything you read about, someone who seems like a really nice, kind, intelligent and interesting person. Wonder why they lost touch like that.
12:21 PM no, not really
you want some more double standard? Ok, for instance remember how everyone says that Jake was photographed with Heath last in early 2006 so no more pics means they had a fallout or didn’t keep in touch? I guess the same doesn't apply to Austin.
I’m not a Jake/Heath shipper btw, just pointing out the double standard.
Paparazzi pictures: 2.000+ pictures of Reeke doesn't make it real. No pictures of Jake and Austin doesn't prove they are done.
Read some of the classic gay authors, why doncha?
Gay authors don't and can't dictate to me. You read them.
Just as i don't expect you to believe in the kinsey scale.
Paparazzi pictures: 2.000+ pictures of Reeke doesn't make it real. No pictures of Jake and Austin doesn't prove they are done.
and visa versa. Same difference!
Reese in DC at the National Press Club: http://justjared.buzznet.com/2009/03/03/reese-witherspoon-empowerment-necklace/
"Ok, for instance remember how everyone says that Jake was photographed with Heath last in early 2006 so no more pics means they had a fallout or didn’t keep in touch? I guess the same doesn't apply to Austin.
I’m not a Jake/Heath shipper btw, just pointing out the double standard."
Of course there's a double standard, since Heath is straight and Jake and Austin are gay.
Reeke - Coffee In Brentwood & 12:58 PM
No rings on the middle finger.
"Of course there's a double standard, since Heath is straight and Jake and Austin are gay"
huh? so because Heath was straight the lack of pics with Jake means they had a fallout but because Austin is gay, the lack of pics means he and Jake are together? lol, dumbest thing ever. Double standard galore and shitty logic all into one.
Of course no ring on the middle finger after all the chatter about an engagement? Even that ring would have been questioned. Instead she carries a bag in front of her tummy, that's even better! Gotta love the smirk on her face and Jake's later on, both are boring tools.
You won't see that ring for awhile IMO until the latest engagement rumors simmer down. Lot's of suspect, baggy clothes, not dyeing her hair.
Of course there's a double standard, since Heath is straight and Jake and Austin are gay and can't afford to be seen together.
"Double standard galore and shitty logic all into one."
But that's the name of the game, like it or lump it.
Heath and Maggie lived/live in New York, 3000 miles away.
Supposedly Austin and Jake live in LA.
Wouldn't you be more likely (and more often) to see pictures of people who live in the same place?
We live in an age of cell phone cameras and personal blogs.
And you mean to tell me that no one has seen Jake and Austin together, anywhere, at all in almost two years?
Thank you 1:24.
Even that ring would have been questioned.
No, she was wearing those rings for months and only fangirls mentioned it a few times.
Are we starting this Austin thing all over again? Let me check the calendar. mmmhmmm. yup. It is a new calendar day. But let me scroll up again....yup, yup, yup...there it is, though, plain as day....just like yesterday. And days before that, seemingly brought on since Austin's blog indicated that he was back, has been back in L.A.
The quietly persistant argument against Austin just as strong an undercurrent as someone insisting that Jake is straight and in love with Reese.
Wouldn't you be more likely (and more often) to see pictures of people who live in the same place?
Bearding is a reason enough to make an effort not to be seen together.
"The quietly persistant argument against Austin just as strong an undercurrent as someone insisting that Jake is straight and in love with Reese."
So what is your point, 1:39 - Im sure it's quite radical and profound - do continue!
Of course there's a double standard, since Heath is straight and Jake and Austin are gay and can't afford to be seen together.
He isn't seen together with Chris either. What's your explanation for that? I don't think he and Chris were ever more than friends but the grasping at straws done by some J&A believers is too funny.
Why can't some here accept the idea that most likely they're over? Just because Reeke is fake and Jake is gay it doesn't mean Jake is with Austin. Jake can have plenty of hook ups with other men, which I think he does.
I have nothing against the Jake and Austin saga but these theories some of you come up with sound a lot like fanfic.
1:38: Yeah, but now the rags are "reporting" about the ring buying trip in NY, any ring she wears in public is now suspect, even that gold band which she has been wearing mostly for months. That and the baby bump crap which she now seems to bring attention to herself by wearing suspect clothes and carrying items in front of her tummy and for some reason not dyeing her hair.
With the ring someone is bound to mention it but since she sued the Star about pregnancy rumors, they won't question it but it will be whispered, good enough.
PS: I have a feeling that gold band is about to be replaced.
For the second time, no pictures of Jake and Maggie during the GG awards, when she was in L.A. No photos during the Avon Reeke tour.
Jake was just in New York for a week and yet NO pictures with Ramona, and the only pictures with Maggie were from the premiere. Do you really believe Jake ony saw his sister once the whole trip, and didn't bother seeing Ramona? As someone said, no pictures with Ramona for as long as we've seen no pictures with Austin. None with dad, and what, maybe 2 or 3 sets with his mom over the past two years.
Same with Heath and Jake. There are pictures of them wearing Michael Stipe's glasses, posted within a few days of each other and most likely taken at the same time. No pictures of Jake with Stipe either, does that mean Stipe couldn't have possibly seen him and just photoshopped that?
Jake is clearly keeping his entire real life private and away from the paps.
And you know what? When you live in a place like LA or NY you're used to seeing stars out and about, and you generally don't bother them by snapping them on your cell phone, and/or by the time you could even dig it out they're gone. I've seen dozens of stars over the years, didn't take a single picture.
When you live in a place like LA or NY you're used to seeing stars out and about, and you generally don't bother them by snapping them on your cell phone, and/or by the time you could even dig it out they're gone. I've seen dozens of stars over the years, didn't take a single picture.
Good point.
When you live in a place like LA or NY you're used to seeing stars out and about, and you generally don't bother them by snapping them on your cell phone, and/or by the time you could even dig it out they're gone. I've seen dozens of stars over the years, didn't take a single picture.
Good point.
I'm beginning to wonder if the person who has been whining on a daily basis about Jake's jeans being a style statement and how the lack of photos=no Austin in Jake's life doesn't really work for Reeke. What a suck ass job!
Course it could also just be a babbler who thinks that is part of the job of being a "good" fan.
Jake’s Man Enough for Musicals—What’s Next?
How thrilling! Jake Gyllenhaal is supposedly starring in an upcoming musical with Jim Carrey! Shocker? Not really. Jakey-poo loves to prove he’s sufficiently butch for these types of roles. Way to show all those people out there that those gay rumors are false, right? What's the next way Jake Gyllenhaal will show the world he’s straight?
Awful's Pushing Jake Poll
How can Jake G. take it to the next level and show us he's supersecure in his sexuality?
1- Actually marry Reese and be his own wedding planner!
2- Kill two birds with one role and star in Brokeback Mountain: the Opera
3- Wear cargo shorts
4- Play Liberace in a biopic
The Awful Truth
Ted's frustration is leading him to make some silly statements.
How is starring in a musical supposed to be about proving you're straight? Because it's about baseball? Well, we know Jake's athletic and has played ball on his own in the past, so what?
As far as his taking this shot, I am afraid that in the end it's just going to make Ted look foolish and desparate to try to push Jake into doing something he's not going to do.
And I would think that this kind of blatant tactic may have the opposite effort of getting Hollywood to close ranks.
I get the feeling that Ted is feeling that the Reeke campaign is actually working and this is his shot at trying to take it down and restore some of his credibility.
humm yeah Ted is pissed off!
Jen Aniston wearing too long and too baggy jeans. Not saying Jake's baggy ones aren't Austin's, but this jeans in modern now.
Jen
Seems Jake is a fashion victim! ;)
"Jen Aniston wearing too long and too baggy jeans. Not saying Jake's baggy ones aren't Austin's, but this jeans in modern now."
On women it's really ridiculous!
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