Give me a break!

Dear Ted:
Are you ready to concede defeat on Jake yet? Or do you wish to add further embarrassment to yourself? Hello! has a story about Reese and Jake cohabitating. Everyone's lying though, right? Everyone but you. For a "showmance" they sure spend a lot of time together out of the public view. Get a clue, buddy, and stop spreading lies about people.
Ellen
Chicago

Dear Gyllenblind:
Hello!, the record of who's really diddling whom in this town? Give me a break.
***

Dear Ted:
Here's my take on gay Hollywood: If only one gay A-list couple would come out and have a public affair, have a row in public, break up, get back together, go furniture shopping in public, get married, adopt a cute baby and get a divorce—i.e. act like a straight Hollywood couple—they would sell just as many magazines. If Hollywood execs saw that gay people can bring in money, they wouldn't be afraid of casting them.
Idun
Copenhagen

Dear One Sex Fits All:
Wish it were that simple. T.R. Knight and his boy toy are happy to be seen hand in hand for all the paps, but do ya see him scoring any leading man movie roles?
***

Dear Ted:
If Toothy Tile and Public Thrust want to be caught so badly, why don't they just come out already?
Cheryl
Atlanta

Dear Dental Work:
If it's voluntary, then they can't deny anything if they change their minds.
***

Dear Ted:
I don't get it. So, Jake G. is looking for a new, preferably female, assistant. Why does that make him picky and/or cantankerous? And to mention him in the same breath as Naomi Campbell—that's stretching it just a teensy bit, don't you think?
Vicki
Wilmington, Del.

Dear Ass-istant:
Maybe you should apply for the Gyllen-gig and get back to us. Would make a fabulous item, trust.

Source: Ted Casablanca's The Awful Truth and The Awful Express newsletter