"Sometimes, when I'm watching the TV with my wife and "Access Hollywood" comes on, my wife will ask me, "Who are those two people?" and I'll pretend I don't know. Oh, I know that's Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon, and that my girl Spoon only got with Jake after being on the rebound from Ryan, and that Jake may be gay after being caught with Austin Nichols at a Lakers game the other week. I know this stuff. I read People when I go to the dermatologist's office. I just don't tell my wife I know because, well, it just seems a bit girly. If that makes me insecure, so be it.
But I certainly wouldn't lie to Congress about Reese and Jake."
Source: I Know That A--hole Knows What A Vegan Is by U.S. Congressman Henry Waxman & Big Daddy Drew
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